“The Universe Collided”

By: Sunchild.

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissanc.

1-Title: When it comes to sci-fi, authors are usually cautious of appearing too superstitious and outlandish. However, I personally think that this title “The Universe Collided” is of illusory means, yet governed by the implacable sense of Platonic realism. It orders its readers to draw their own conclusion which stimulates the commendatory practice of engaging the readers in harvesting the sense of familiarity as the story progresses further.

Rating: [10/10].

2-Description/Foreword: The description itself is ought to be sufficient to the readers and it sets a simpler, much approachable direction for the reader to navigate through. Your choice of words and phraseology is suitable and appropriate, it doesn’t give out too much and it vaguely introduces the characters whose importance for this story is indisputable. The Foreword portion has been used for the informative clarification, which in the case of sci-fi, very significant for the readers. The informative chart made me only a bit dizzy, but it’s appreciated. I hope you understand that the immense amount of dedication and hard work shows throughout your story. Good job!

Rating: [10/10].

3-Plot: The beginning contains a grasping metaphorical parable of the earliest energies in the cosmos, that being a slight citation of both Ophion and Eurynome. It’s a modern twist to the mythological tales of Athens; it’s brilliant so far. You’ve managed to dedicate the first chapter to become the field of basic background and necessary information. You’ve also established the undisputable importance of both characters, Taehyung and Jungkook; that’s always appreciated when it comes to reminding your readers of every detail which they might possess for future reference.

The third and fourth chapters aren’t exactly as thrilling as the first chapter; the events are individualised and too independent from each other which isn’t complementary when it comes to writing a novel. Try to construct a connective agent between these events instead of immediately switching points of view and scenarios. It’ll help your story appear more fastened and secure. Writing in some connection between events using environmental intrusions would suffice in the beginning; that means instead of unforeseen shifts, you could use the metaphorical personification of a natural element to work as a narrator when it comes to chronological interference or interruptions. For example, you could say: The glistening moon peacefully watched its own dismal city fall into a deep slumber as a single boy roamed the streets diligently looking for his beloved pet.” Vocalising intrusions like that would assist with elevating the quality of your story instead of simply using full-stops to transition between acts.

I did think that there was a missed opportunity when it came to enunciating the scenery in your story. Think about it, your story is set in a mobile community; you have permission to build your own surroundings, so why not do it? You seldom paint a literary portrait of the remote environment and that’s frowned upon in non-restricted genres such as Sci-fi and succinct fables. When you have the opportunity to describe different galaxies and planets, then use it exceedingly. Throughout the fifth and sixth chapters, I began to find difficulty in picturing some of the scenarios because they were presented blandly and suddenly. Remember what I wrote regarding the chronological transitions, use the environment freely. In the literary movements Naturalism and Imagism, it is believed that fictional characters are bound to succumb to the superior elegance of all that is natural. Why not describe the soil of the ground, the temperature of the sea, the brightness of the moon? If your story is set in a supernatural confinement, then use the environmental description as a basic element in your story.

To be honest, your story did not take an uplifting turn as it proceeded to progress; it managed to preserve the quality of appearing tedious and repetitive. Be aware of that, considering the introduction and the beginning were both grasping and thrilling, it ought to upset your readers to have a slowly progressing story. This is why your story is 25-30 chapters long, there are only a handful of memorable events yet an unnecessary amount of flat characters (minor characters). Try and limit the amount of unmemorable characters while prolonging the chapters for the sake of adding in more meaningful events.

Please do not rely on previously explored ideas and heavily mentioned framework. I’ve come across several components in your story that felt negligible and mundane because they were mentioned on this platform so many times. The website NY Book Editors, discussed several worn-out ideas, and one of those being “The chosen one” blueprint. It says: “You have a golden opportunity to help the reader see the world from a new persp