“Epiphany”

By: GreenGardenPop.

Reviewer: St-Renaissance.

1-Title: The title “Epiphany” is intriguing, it promises the reader a journey of ups and downs, not necessarily -related but it does hold within its person a pattern of psychological transformation. A character—or even a point of view, can carry a plot entirely on its own but it can be hollow once you remove emotional and psychological elements. So the title does propose a promise which must be kept throughout the story.

Rating: 10/10.

2-Description: Though the description is quite short and basic, it does resemble many plots on this platform which I’ve reviewed before. There are merely two phrases in the synopsis of your story which I’m not sure are necessarily exciting or thrilling, they’re not enticing enough as to grasp the attention of readers. I encourage you to rephrase the description in a way that makes it appear more special and suspenseful.

Rating: 5/10.

3-Plot: The beginning is very rushed, the story’s pace leaves the readers slightly confused and curious because it jumps from one fact to another in a series of uninterrupted events. Here’s the thing, the beginning should be carefully constructed as to guide the reader towards areas with developing effect; background information, upbringing, environmental description are all valued pillars that can help you understand which direction the story’s going next. In short stories such as yours, we usually like to pay attention to certain stages such as the introduction, rising actions, , and resolution. The introduction of your characters, settings and time is very rushed and irresponsible, the whole story is weak at the seams because the introduction is not sustainable. Take the time to introduce the settings to your reader, set a time and place for the characters to inhabit, it doesn’t have to be either titled or frank and it doesn’t have to be detailed or analytical. Writing titles such as “London, 1993”, “Prague, WW II” is one way to dictate the setting (time and place) without going too deep into it, you can also write a descriptive illustration of settings by returning to the Aristotelean concept of Time and Place; two elements which join together and form a stable foundation for the story to take place. If you’d like, you can follow the Aristotelean concept but mind that it is less flexible (usually suitable for shorter stories) the characters are influenced by Time (ideas, philosophies, theories) and are affected by Place (weather, temperature, political climate).

As for the rising action, your story moves very quickly which means there’s really no room for neither suspense nor catharsis. You must give each major event some time to bake through because doing so engages the reader and makes them feel included, but your story feels more like you’re talking at your readers rather than with them. This is a common mistake that occurs among all writers during at least one of their works, here’s how to mend this gap: Slow down. Literally, that’s it. As long as you take a minute to understand YOUR plot, it’ll be easier to differentiate between major and minor events, once you’ve categorised your events, you can line them up properly and implement details and information (relevantly) to each major event and the minor events will simply place themselves.

Let’s discuss your style of writing and when we do so, we concern ourselves with three elements: Speech correctness, speech clearness, and speech effectiveness.

Speech correctness can use some enhancements because I feel as though there’s a slight misconnection between ideas and text; it