“Igavene Armastus”

By: Thatrandomperson

Reviewer: St-renaissance

1-Title: Right, my first observation of this title is that it’s foreign, and thus cannot deliver a meaning as efficiently as a title written in your audience’s language –English- I’m not sure if it’s Latin or something else. Just make sure to explain it to your readers to guarantee an appropriate reaction. Though I didn’t understand what sort of surprises might this title brings, I managed to feel a mysterious and It’s definitely original and possess quite a melodious ring to it and since it has already made it on the poster, might as well keep it.

Rating: [8/10].

2-Description/Foreword: Though it’s not agreeable to include quotations in your description, you have included many and they evidently steal away any chance of inserting proper backbones such as settings or the main purpose of the main character. You have complete freedom over what you can include; the difference is that some elements could assist in enhancing the value of the entire work. Using the description solely, the reader will judge whether they’d choose this story or not, and it’s difficult to assert so based merely on quotes. They don’t belong in the description; the purpose of this segment is to amalgamate the ‘hook’ sentence, where you can grab the attention of readers, the purpose, whether your story discusses social structures or injustice for instance, and usually the settings. In your case, the ending is displayed in your description, which could either affect your story negatively or positively; it could spoil the ending but you can use that to your advantage by not shying away from details when it comes to narration.

Rating: [8/10].

3-Plot: The first chapter is very rushed, it neglects all required essence of an introductory opening. Settings are key to building an introduction; time and place are Aristotelian in importance, you cannot construct a story without telling your readers where and when is this story taking place. It doesn’t have to be something direct and frank, by demonstrating details such as stormy weather, overly populated spots, style of dressing and speech can help pint-point a place and time on the map that can help the story take off. If you’ve intended for the first chapter to be employed as a prologue, then you must paint it out to be like one, foreshadowing is important but usually, it includes the same elements as a first chapter. Settings and background information are not as condensed but are just as valuable.

The story feels inconsistent and incomplete, throughout the story, I felt like there was something missing and this feeling prevented me from becoming subsumed into the literary work. To begin a story correctly, you must take things slowly and try to build a substantial ground on which the characters can flourish properly. For example, by introducing the settings of the story, you’ll carefully illustrate the effect or influence of the surrounding environment on the main character, that’s at least one way to introduce it to the audience. Is the character a resident of the city? Is the character aware of its inner conflict? Is the character lead by its own narrative? These are few questions that may help you understand your own plot once answered. Speaking of, you have chosen the third-person narrative which is the most commonly used narrative in literature, so it’s usually a safe option. However, there are a handful of criteria to which you must attain in order to correctly employ the third-person narrative: Omniscient third-person narrative requires a set of detailed analysis of each character’s psychological mapping. ‘Omniscient’ is basically where you explain all main characters’ feelings whether they’re important or anything less. It also requires for you to assign a number of visible traits to the main characters in order to help develop their personas; drunkenness, mental instability, and sharpness of speech are all noticeable traits and habits that can exhibit the character’s psychological and behavioural pattern.

Diction has definitely enhanced as the story progresses, within the third chapter, the creative style of writing begins to take off because you’ve implemented your focus and energy on ONE character’s emotional transition from psychological to behavioural, this initiation of action helped increase the professionalism in your writing and evidently gave the character and plot more depth.

Let’s dissect your use of diction; speech clearness, speech corre