“Paper House, Paper Hearts”

By: Infernoforte.

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance.

1- Title: the title "Paper House, Paper Hearts" sounds like a suitable dramatic title, it entails a certain tragic romance which enthralls the audience into reading further into the story. It's a bold yet, inspiring move to choose a title which foreshadows a nearing adversity; your readers will be expecting a premature turn of events so you must construct a proper build up to actually guarantee the readers' surprise.

Rating: (10/10).

2- Description/Foreword: Right, so the description is dangerously short and scarcely helpful; the length, though appropriate for shorter stories, should alleviate the readers' hesitation while working in suspense to attract intrigued audience. I think rephrasing the description would not decrease the value of your story, it just might do the opposite.

Rating: (6/10).

3- Plot: The beginning of the story is interesting, a little vague and unclear, but interesting nevertheless. Your story follows a hasty pace, the plot doesn't render the readers familiar with the initiative event; most events in your story appear to be snippets and bits of what might properly been a valuable element of supporting your story. Do try and give your readers more details regarding leading events of major characters. When your plot is not sufficiently built, the finale will most definitely be underwhelming for the readers considering they've not been competently warmed up to develop any sort of feeling for the story.

The style of writing is special of its kind, but it is obstructing the flow of the story, it is following a very rushed flow, making the story appear nearly incoherent, I personally had to read it a couple of times to understand what was going on and why were some rather unimportant details were addressed as opposed to actually important details that were neglected for a build-up. I understand that the nature of the story is short, but it's very, very short that it doesn't carry within its person a meaningful plot or significant events; that's not good for the sake of your story. Try and elongate each event by adding more details to serve the sufficiency of the story just right. All I understand so far is that there are two characters living in New York who share the same apartment building. That's it! Your story needs more details, if you'd like for the characters to remain vague and obscure, that's understandable, but you cannot present the actual story in that form as it sounds incomplete and inconsistent.

Your choice of parlance and diction is fascinating enough to drag the story a bit further, it has a certain contemporary yet literature-appropriate phraseology which suits the general airy tone of the story, but, "short and sweet" may not be as complimentary as perceived. It might not work well with the flow of t