“Maybe That’s How Spring Comes”

By: JungMichan.

Reviewer: St-renaissance

1-Title: The main function of titles is to grasp the attention of readers while maintaining a gradual level of suspense and creativity. In publishing, the title is a significant element of the general impression for the literary work; it hints at something relating to the story’s main theme or focal point. The title “Maybe that’s How Spring Comes” sets a whimsical tone to the story and creates a sense of romanticism. Naturally, the reader might expect a lot of environmental impact on the scene-setting and story progression, so I’m very excited to see where this one goes!

A title’s basic responsibility is to convey the selected genre of the novel; we understand that the story is set in spring, which alludes to hopeful beginnings and vibrant characters.

Rating: 10/10.

2-Description: Naturally, the purpose of the synopsis is to introduce your story in its utmost presentable form without devaluing the plot, characters, or progression. It’s also used to bewitch the readers and grasp their point of interest; hence why the description is just as important as the title. In literature, we aim to nourish two vital points: the story’s general theme (scene-setting, location, time period) and the main plot-point (aims, motive, challenges). Once you’ve nourished said elements, you’re free to move on and introduce your protagonist through the narration. Looking at your description, it’s pretty much ideal because it fulfills the points mentioned above, it’s also moderate in length.

Yes, I don’t see how this story would catch non-fans’ attention, but since you’ve catered this story to a certain audience, make sure to go all out. To be honest, I remember reading a similar story about different characters back in like 2013. It’s written very well, but the actual synopsis and idea are hardly creative. But, since it’s light-hearted in motif, I expect it to go down smoothly.

Rating: 9/10.

3-Plot: Ok, initially, the story opens with a lively scene; we’re then quickly introduced to two main characters: Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun. The introductory scene is quite energetic and chaotic—it includes a number of energetic words and continues to progress hastily. Here’s your first issue, I’m afraid. In fiction, we recommend staying away from shocking introductions narrated using hyperbolic words. The introduction moves too quickly to be comprehended, it jumps from one focal point to another without any smooth transition. This can cause the reader to become overwhelmed and eventually, encouraged to click off. Let’s see how we can fix this issue:

First, go back to the introductory scene and take your time narrating things properly; don’t rush the progression, start with carefully considering whether you’d really like to introduce the story with a confusing situation. Then move to the actual wording—try not to use hyperbolic words prematurely since it can get overwhelming and sets high expectations which will undoubtedly be unmet. After you’ve done so, move on to the syntactic structure of the first scene, it’s quite out of place and frankly, confusing as hell. “An ear-splitting crash abruptly shatters the peace of the mid-afternoon lull.” First, there are careless placements of juxtaposition, oxymoron, and hyperbole in the same sentence; this is why it appears overwhelming. The words Peace and Lull are synonymous, delivering the same meaning, so you can eliminate any hollow words for now. “Even though the only customer is one of their regulars up at the wooden bar seating along the front window,” I don’t think the word Seating is used correctly here, it’s Sitting/Seated.

Your story falls under the genre of romance and coming-of-age, it’s written using the third-person POV and moves using the present continuous tense. This kind of story warrants both swift development of the plot, and deep investigation into the psychological underlining of the story. You see, in fiction, we depend on the characters as well as the writer to activate the storyline; we value each major character and their role in the story. So, my suggestion is that you go back to the start, and observe how each character fulfills their role—it’s ok if one character isn’t as important, you can simply introduce them later on. The same goes for the other minor characters: Jeongsu, Donghae, Hyukjae, Junmyeon, Minho, Jongin, and Yixing. Don’t bother cramping in so many minor characters all at once; it’s so confusing trying to keep up with the names, nicknames, and personalities.

In literature, this is called Character Cluster; where we introduce as many characters as possible just to get it over with, resulting in a room full of hollow, flat characters. Please, don’t mention un-introduced characters and try to keep a sensibly limited number of characters in your story. If you wish to include minor characters, make sure that they yield sustainable information and actually contribute to the story with something other than empty dialogues.

So far, the story is going well, its progress is both sensible and exciting—excluding the introduction and characterisation, the story might as well be uploaded right away! The writing is excellent and nourishes nearly all classic elements of progression. The Rising Action is going rather smoothly, I appreciate the fact that you led up to the plot-point slowly and carefully. Doing so is recommended in order to establish a healthy connective agent between the protagonist and their goal, it will benefit your story later on. There are a couple of elements I’d like to discuss with you:

-Environment: when we’re setting the scene, we focus on the three Aristotelian unities of Drama (time, place, and action) in order to construct a sensible event that develops gradually. We employ these unities in a specific order to nourish the literary development of timeline. Once we’ve neglected one of the three important elements, we’ve weakened the structure of the scene; subconsciously causing it to reflect dullness and become a burden on the characters and readers to go through. For example, remember when we spoke about the opening scene, and how it was completely overwhelming and confusing? That’s because you’ve skipped the element of Time, and managed to switch up the Place and Action. To make a sensible introduction, we move this way: Time, Place, and finally, Action.

However, you’ve started with the Action, Place, and completely ignored Time. That’s why it appears jumbled and shocking. I suggest that you go back to the start and reconstruct every major event to include the three primary elements of Drama. Also, your story takes place in a coffee shop almost the entire time, it’d help with the immersion if you were to describe what we’re meant to see, hear, and smell. In literature, it’s called Sensory Imagery; it’s a terrific device where you describe things we can see, hear and touch—don’t forget the sense of scent, fellow barista!

-Personal Psychological Function: your story has many c