"Not Meant To Be"

By: EasyIzzy

Reviewer: Gtoprenaissance

1-Title: "Not Meant To Be" entails of a dramatic experience with a direct foreshadowing of an unhappy ending. I think it's clear and on point, it's not vague, it's suitable, but you can see why selecting such a straightforward title might be an issue if your story ends happily. In that case, it is surely misleading.

Rating: [9/10].

2-Description/Foreword: The description is simple and short, suitable for a short story or a one-shot. Here's my suggestion, it feels a bit incomplete to have both the title and the description be too short and vague. The description usually either completes the title or explains it in a way that creates enticement or suspense for the reader so they can click and read. However, your title and description both entail the same information; it's a tragic love story with an unhappy ending. So, I think the description can be edited and put to better use.

Rating: [7/10].

3-Plot: Right, though your one-shot is quite short, it lacks some necessary elements which can enhance its value and draw attention to the content rather than the length. First, the environmental description is vital for the development of any scene or event, in short stories, the scenery illustration is usually led by the main character or the general narrative point of the story. Your story has a strong sense of tragedy and nostalgia, and to impress upon the reader how truly important it is to the nurture the theme of the story, you must build the settings first. What time is it? Is it dawn, noon, evening? How's the weather? Sunny, stormy, rainy? How's the temperature? Cool, warm, freezing? How do those elements affect the character? Is the character sensitive to heat? Is it prone to illness?

As soon as you answer those questions, the construction of the initiative event will become easier. Your story moves quickly, so you need to slow things down and give each event its proper description and narrative. Yes, your story is a one-shot and it’s supposed to be restricted to a limited length, but you shouldn’t sacrifice any vital elements for the sake of the length. Here’s another point to which you must attend to, the plot in your story is mostly built on the previous relationship or friendship of the two main characters, to extract any sort of emotions from the reader, you must navigate through those past experiences more deeply, because mentioning that they were friends and borrowing a couple of quotes won’t suffice. I suggest that you employ a set of chronological interruption events that’l