“Summer Love”

By: Blissblues.

Reviewer: St-renaissance.

1-Title: “Summer Love: is an interesting title, it tells a story which is important, but it’s not special or unique, I’ve just reviewed a story with a similar title. In modern literature and poetry, a mentioning of a season inspires the readers to draw their own conclusions regarding the environment and settings however, you mustn’t neglect that vital detail as it is the sole foundation of any story. In Victorian literature, summer bespeaks of a romantic reminiscing over past memories so, I suspect that this story might include play on emotions quite frequently.

Rating: [9/10].

2-Description: Right, the description is of adequate length, the content is romantic and poetic but it contains several redundant phrases. The mentioning of how dull summer is fills the description from beginning to end but it never mentions the motives, the aims or settings. You’ve mentioned the characters and the general idea of the story (I wouldn’t say plot because the story lacks any basic element of Drama) but it’s incredibly dull and boring, it’s quite sad and it might repel readers from the story. I have a suggestion and you’re completely free to take it and act upon it, I think the description and storyline might draw in more readers if the main character was to exhibit new beginnings and optimism, it doesn’t have to actually employ said optimism, but breathing hope into readers will extract a bigger catharsis once the character stumbles.

Rating: [9/10].

3-Plot: The beginning is interesting, moderate in pace and it doesn’t shy away from exploring the issue at hand quite inquisitively. You’ve employed the third-person narrative to narrate the story however; plots including psychological maladies and chronic melancholia do perform more favourably under the first-person narrative mainly because the audience can investigate into the character on a profound level which cannot be provided by the third-person narrative. This is merely an idea, not a literary pillar. Going into the story, we understand that the main character can be amalgamated with the settings in order to create stronger scenes and events, but be wary of common use of metaphors and constant similes, though their use is appropriate and vital in a literary work, be careful not to overdo it so it would not come off as cliché and pretentious. While still on the topic of literary devices, pay attention to the applied range of effectiveness. This means that every simile (for example) you use must have an equal or stronger effect than the simile before, otherwise it’s a cliché. For example, in paragraph number 12 you’ve employed a simile to draw the similarity between the woman’s eyes and a cat’s. That’s not a strong image considering cats’ eyes are not that bright unless during night time. When comparing this device to the previous one used in paragraph number 11, we find that the earliest device delivered better than the second device. This labels the second device as a candidate for elimination. Don’t hesitate to extract impotent figures of speech.

There are traces of Rising Action or build-up as you elevated your readers’ expectations by deepening their knowledge and familiarity with the importance of the characters’ quondam encounters however, upon first interaction, there’s no substance and it was quite disappointing. When promising your readers an astounding reaction as a result of an event, said reaction must be correctly phrased and dramatically extracted. This Jongin character has been infatuated with that woman for over eight years and has been religiously attending the spot where he saw her just for them to meet at the most basic location and utter the least creative dialogue? That’s a shame and it seems lackluster. There are two ways to recreate a better reaction:

-Go easy with the description prior to the desired encounter. By refraining from mentioning small details at the beginning of the story, you’d have a conceptualised material to go over once the characters have finally met. An example for conceptualising a certain material is constructing a character who’s infatuated with a certain element and eventually have them explore it as the progresses.

-Improve both the dialogue and scenic narration by illustrating the importance of the plot core to the main characters. Detailed descriptions of the character’s intentions and motives can subconsciously paint a clearer image of the upcoming reaction to without being direct and boring.

You MUST, M