“Lost and Found” 

By: Kimmaryo.

Reviewer: St-renaissance.

1-Title: the title is definitely romantic, not original, but romantic. It suggests incorporating past memories into the character’s life which may influence their decisions and opinions; when past and present are merged together, the audience will expect an impact to be made on the main characters and how they perceive the . As a reader, I can already tell that this story has a hint of romance and tragedy, conflict and resolution; it portrays its romanticist origin and offers the reader a story with a lot of emotion. 

Rating: 9/10.

2-Description: the description definitely fulfils all criteria of efficiency. Yes, it’s a bit long for a two-chaptered story, but it provides stable background information which is always useful and entertaining in moderation. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there’s a grammatical error in the statement “which made him grew to be a person with many things to be scared of” the correct construction would be “which made him grow to be a person...” as we know, no two (or more) verbs of the same tense (past, present, future, present continuous, etc) can become neighbours in the same sentence. 

However, there is a more suitable and literary way to write that part, like so “which brought him up as a person with much to fear” or “which turned him into a fearful man”. No need to use unnecessary words in the description, it may work in the storytelling, but not in descriptions. Again, during the second part of the description you’ve used a repetitive phrase, a redundant sentence. 

“Meeting a loving and caring man is the happiest moment of his life, and being married to this guy is the most treasured moment for him” I’ve applied a comma where it should be placed, and so we can distinguish between the sentences. Though the sentence are distinct in style and structure, they carry the same meaning and exercise the same literary device; hyperbole, in this case. Try to apply different approaches to your ideas, if you find them similar in meaning. Also, the phrase “this guy” falls under colloquial dialect and thus cheapening your work. You can absolutely apply slang or everyday terms in the narration and storytelling, but your description should be a witty and eloquent glimpse into your story. 

Rating: 6/10.

3-Plot: The beginning is absolutely interesting, there is a bit of a background to this character, an environmental illustration of the surrounding setting. Yes, the pace of the story is quite rushed, which can result in clunky serialisation of events;introduction, rising action, , exposition and resolution are all primary elements of a story that must be built carefully. When we write an introductory phrase or even chapter, we aspire to capture the reader’s attention without straying too far from the thick of the plot. Setting the place and time for the story is one of the most important aspects of an introductory chapter; when Dickens wrote “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” that phrase alone suggested class division and political chaos. When Tolstoy wrote “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” in Anna Karenina, we understand that there are domestic issues, marital problems and an aristocratic facade. If you’re not going to use environmental illustrations to set the scene, then you must grasp the reader’s attention by setting the scene using meaningful phrases and clever employment of literary devices. 

There are a few grammatical issues during the first chapter, when you wrote “Mingyu awaken,” it should’ve been “Mingyu awakened,” the past-participle verb cannot be placed without the verbs have/had/has taking prior role. There needs to be purpose to this story, a plot, something to link up the characters to the events. If you keep writing filler scenes back-to-back, you’ll lose the essence of the story and your readers’ attention. There’s really nothing going on, your story could’ve been summed up in a one-shot because the environment is rigid and the characters are flat; revision is in order. 

Let’s take a moment to understand what went wrong: the story has no plot, that’s where the main issue lays. Before writing a story, we must have a layout of how things are supposed to go— sure sudden inspiration and uninvited aspirations are always welcomed, but you must understand and analyse the direction in which you’re taking this story. What’s a plot? Usually, at least according to classic literature, plot contains six elements of construction. 

1-Narration and POV: before writing anything, make sure that you choose a proper narration technique and a point of view. For example, the third-person POV is the easiest to manage if you’re looking to control more than one character. The second-person POV is more complicated and only used in philosophical thesis or in monologues in modern dramas. The first-person POV is more suitable for those writing a personal and an emotional story, such pieces of work usually encompass psychological aspects of charact