CHAPTER 57

That night… GD was loaded too much with confusions of thoughts, of how to decide and what to decide.
He walked his way home slowly while being absent minded.
He is still thinking about it. 
He thought “Youngbae wants to have her from me. What should I do? …If she’s also my every thing? Should I sacrifice? Should I die in pain? Should I be selfish? Should I be unfair to him? I don’t know what to do now! This is not a tale or anything, YB is my 11 year friend… it’s not easy for me…… it’s not easy.”
-aww.

He remembers Dara’s face lately…
He said “Dara… this is another challenge for me to take… Again, I don’t have anyone with me in this……My heart still needs to suffer, alone.” –aw!!



Until... Tomorrow comes…



GD was on his way to the YG, he was driving his car.
Dara called GD... *rings* he saw that it was her. He hesitates to answer it… Until, he silent his phone and didn’t answer her call. Aw. As he proceeds to the YG building…

The first person he saw was her…
Dara happily greets him and said “Good morning Jiyong! Why aren’t you answering my call?”
Jiyong just looked at her and continued walking…
Dara shouted “Jiyong! Ya!!”
He looked back… and stared at her seriously.
Dara said “What’s your problem? Haven’t you heard a thing?! I’m talking to you!!”
GD said “That’s it?”
“What do you mean that’s it?!”
“That’s all you want to say?”
Dara paused and shocked about what he just said… she replied “…Uh---Yes.”
GD looked back against her and continued walking…

Dara was left there… She thought “He’s weird. Why is he like that to me?!”

While GD was walking, he thought “I’m Sorry Dara. This was the only thing I’ve thought to make myself at ease of thinking decisions. It’ll be hard for me If I continued talking to you…………. I’m Sorry…”

Then as he continued walking, he searched for Taeyang… but they said Taeyang won’t be able to come.. 
“Why?”
“I don’t know. We can’t contact him.” –Yanggaeng said.(stylist)
GD said “Ahh..” –then he entered the practice room wherein Big Bang used to stay in and there was the other members.
He became sad and thought “Taeyang is not here…”
Awww… then he sat on the side seriously while the other members are goofing around.
He’s out of himself again… He’s glaring nowhere…
TOP noticed that so he consults him and said “What’s bugging you?”
GD just looked at him and then ignores him.
TOP said “You’re weird. What’s the problem man?”
GD paused…looked around the room and to the members… BIG BANG members... TOP saw his sad face as he stood up and went out of the room…

TOP said “What’s up with him?”

GD went out from the YG building and drives his car again back to their dorm. Where is he going? 


He thought “I need to find him.” – aw. He’s looking for Taeyang.

He was driving his car now and he’s currently in the highway.
He was out of himself, he’s driving the car but his mind is everywhere. He kept on thinking about what Taeyang said, he feels like there are big ropes hanging on him right now, one is from Taeyang and the other one is from Dara. Taeyang’s rope was heavily pulling him down because Taeyang is expecting something from him and that was the decision that he has to make. Dara’s rope was also pulling him down and burdening him with second thoughts. So it’s hard for him to carry both ropes at the same time. 

While he was driving, his phone rings. He answered it…

“Ne. Yoboseyo?”
“Kwon Jiyong!” 
He was shocked to hear her voice. She called him!
He said “Waeyo?!(Why?!)”
“Where did you go? ^ ^”
“Why do you keep on calling me?! Would you please stop?!” –he yelled at her.
Dara was hushed from what he said. She didn’t expect those words to come from him.
She was hurt. She said “Why are you like that to me? You’re not like that to me yesterday!”
“You’re bothering me so stop.” 
“I just wanted to ask what your problem is. I’m… just concerned.”
“I’m driving now so don’t disturb me. Bye.” –he hung up the call. Waa! > <
Dara remained still after Jiyong hung up the call. She was dumbfounded of what he did. 
She thought “He yelled at me… yesterday, he was kind… but why is it that now, he seems so different? What’s happening?” 
It might be so hard for Dara’s side too especially if she doesn’t know what’s going on and what’s the reason for Jiyong to act like that.
She was left clueless of everything.


Jiyong while driving…



He madly hits the steering wheel and shouts “Ahh!! Aissh!! I can’t believe I just did that!”
He gets very frustrated of himself for what he did. He thought “I might have hurt her!”
He was stuck with that thought again, he was continuously driving. His days were a lot different before than now, before, he was living normally and without thinking so hard but now, he got it all reversed. 
As he was driving, he didn’t notice that the cars on his front stopped because there’s traffic. The car was constantly running. GD was still out of himself…

Waaaa! GD needs to get back from himself!!
GD really does need to stop the car immediately or else…



Until…



The red lights (sign of ‘stop’) from the car’s back which is in front of his car made him back to awareness as it flashed on his eyes. 
He was really close to the car’s bumper in front of him when he stepped on the break.
He said “Oh!!! Sh**!” –the impact of the break made him push through the steering wheel so his head hits it. 
He whisked his forehead because it was hurt and said “That was close!! Ah!! What’s happening to me?! I almost get myself to an accident!”
He thought “Phew! Thank God, I’m safe! > <”

After the traffic was gone, he continued driving… But this time, he became more careful so that won’t happen again. He reached their dorm and he went down from the car with a terrible memory of what happened to him lately. Just because of what he’s thinking, his life was put to danger. He can’t recover from it.
He entered their dorm and their apartment inside. GD saw Taeyang first. He can’t speak a word.
He thought “Aigoo! Why do these things happen to me on the same day? This is getting more intricate!”
He said “They said they can’t contact you, why didn’t you come lately?”
“I don’t feel like…”
“Ahh.”
Taeyang said “You go home early? How’s your day?” –he was sitting on the floor of their living room.
“Lately… I almost accidentally hit a car.”
“Really? Why?”
“I’m not aware that there is traffic.”
“Is that so…”
“Ne… I got really scared that time.”
“………….”
“………….”
GD thought “This is awkward.” –Haha!
But then Taeyang smiled at him and said “Jiyong-ie! Are you in the mood to play games now?” 
GD said “Me? Why?”
“I wanted to play! Since I’m not doing anything and it’s our free time because Big Bang will be on rest, I think we’re free to play!”
“What game?”
“How about the ‘Sudden Attack’? Let’s play our own characters!”


[NOTE: ‘Sudden Attack’ was an online gaming in Korea. Big Bang was also featured in that game for the characters was exactly made for them.]


GD said “Sure…” –he sat down on the floor with him and they both plugged the wires to their TV and played it through the play station.

YB started to load the game…
GD thought “I think we’re better off like this. That’s right, I must act normal too.”

So he smiled too and got excited for the game. As it started, they both held their controllers.
YB said “It’s been a long time since we last did this, right?”
“Yes.” –he smiled.
YB said “Sorry if I’ll kill your character Ji.” –Haha!
“Kill me if you can.”
They both laughed.

They are both focused on the game like two little kids that are playing computer games! LOL. Whenever GD shoots Taeyang, he always shouts “Yaaaaah! Haha!” and celebrates like he won the whole game. But when Taeyang shoots him, he remains silent and annoyed. Haha! On the first part of the game, GD is winning so he always nags.
He keeps on saying “This is easy.”, “Aren’t there any levels here?” or “They call this a game?” –LOL! He gets very conceited whenever he gains points. Haha!
But on the last part of the game, Taeyang keeps on winning rather than him. Nice strategy Taeyang, so victory is reserved on the last part? Hahaha.
GD was losing the game already so he’s panicking and keeps on clicking the buttons from his controller and attacking him.
He stopped first and he lets go of the controller. Taeyang keeps on playing the game.

Then his phone rings…



Taeyang’s phone is ringing…



GD holds his controller again and said “Taeyang, answer it. It’s yours.”
Taeyang said “Answer it for me, tell that person that I’m busy killing you here.” –Haha!
GD said “Aissh! Why would I answer a call that’s for you, you answer it!”
GD continued playing. Taeyang said “Aiissh. Alright!” –he temporarily stopped playing too.
He said “Yoboseyo? Yoboseyo?” 
GD was chuckling beside him. Taeyang said “Why isn’t this person answering?!” He looked at his phone to check the number and to whom did the call come from. He saw it was from GD! LOL!


Then…



*victory sounds from the play station*



GD raised his arms and said “Hah! I won!”
Taeyang said “Aissht! You jerk!”
Obviously, that’s the reason why GD suddenly lets go of his controller lately when he’s already losing and it’s because he called Taeyang for distraction so he couldn’t play anymore and so that he can kill Taeyang’s character too! Haha!

GD said “I’m too smart, right?”
“For cheaters, yeah.” –Hahaha!
GD laughed. Taeyang said “You always win…” –with a smile on his face.
GD thought differently from what he said. He thought that he meant those for the reason which he always wins everything, including Dara. So he became a little bit quiet but he still kept the smile on his face.

GD said “Why don’t we play another game too?”
“That sounds interesting! But if you’ll be cheating again, then I’d rather quit this.”
He laughed and replied, “Alright, alright!”

They played another game and they enjoyed playing again. They have their smile on their faces while playing the game, like how best friends do normally. 

GD thought while they’re playing, “Is this the thing that I will replace and sacrifice?” –he’s talking about the friendship.
It’s a complete bonding for them until the end of the game.
After GD has won the game again, he said “I didn’t cheat! See that? I told you, it’s meant for me! Hahaha~”
Taeyang was just grinning. GD stood up, twisted and stretched his body then said “Aigoo~ we