Batch Three Review
Our Vow by iedanoeonline

Story Title: Our Vow

Author: iedanoeonline

Story Summary: 
The story is about how much the husband can sacrifice in order to bring back the love
of his wife and reminds her about their wedding vow.

Reviewer: Baozi12

 

 

Title (5/10)

I don’t like the title because it is  weak, making it uninteresting and rather bland at that. So it doesn't look catchy to me. I honestly wouldn't click on the title. Still it makes some connections to the story.

 

Foreword and Description (5/10)

Description has a few grammar mistakes, it would be good if you could reread your work and review it again. A good description is really important in capturing a reader's attention. However, when I read it I don't immediately get interested.  It's doesn't hook me in or make me think "I have to read this story. Perhaps too, you would like to elaborate more on what your story is about in your description. On the other hand, I am glad you did not give away the whole plot. It was small and simple.

Correction: disclamer >>  disclaimer

 

Characterization(3/10)

Kris' personalities are way out of control in my opinion. He acts so nice and chessy and then he poisons his wife's drink to get to her to honeymoon. He should at least comforts her and doesn't he feel anything emotional after her own daughter died? He only cares about his wife. You should describe how both of them feels after losing their daughter