How life and fate can be so cruel sometimes..

How things ended up the way you never imagined them to be..

Its hard..

Yes..

But you need to keep trying..

You need to keep living even if you were just only pretending..

It has always been like that for me..

Pretending to be a good daughter.. 

Trying to be the town's precious princess..

Living as what others expect of you to be..

Everything seems to be forced.. controlled.. and observed.. I feel like I cant breathe anymore.. As if the very air Im breathing in is being measured.. Limited.. As if no matter how open the ground is, I still feel like Im being enclosed inside a box with no holes.. And I feel like being clausthrophobic..

I dont like it before.. And I dont like it now..

Most specially now.. With all these things happening around me.. Im more like stranded now..

Im Krystal Jung.. The second daughter of the town's mayor.. Being the role model of the town which had been ruled over by my family for generations, I have been taught how to be prim and proper.. Everything was being forced to me... My dressing style, the way I speak, sit, move, eat and even stand.. I have to live up to people's expectations.. Just because Im the Mayor's daughter and the fact that I have an older sister who's been crowned as the town's jewel isnt really helping at all..

I should do this.. 

I should do that..

I need to be like this..

I need to be like that..

Im only 26 but I feel like Im 45 and Im living back in the year 1845.. or whatever ancient time where women has no equal rights to men..

I was fed up.. And through all the silent objections and sobs came my rescue... My lady-prince in a camouflage uniform with a riffle strapped around her flat chest and riding her military vehicle..

It was a love at first sight.. She swept me off my feet by just doing nothing.. But I didnt show it..I kept my cool though I was so starstruck by her features.. prominent jaw.. Handsome yet beautiful face with that infectious smile.. God thats smile.. I cant get enough of that smile..

She was on patrol and me and my bestfriend Dara happened to be out late that night and thanks to our good friends who left us at another friend's house party, I met her.. She offered us a ride home out of kindness, telling us that even though the place was near an army camp its still dangerous for women to walk alone even if our house was just a couple of blocks away..

That meeting didnt end there.. We met several times after that.. We spent a lot of time hanging out together with my friends.. Knowing each other and finally end up being in a relationship together.. She confessed first and I gladly accepted it but due to our very unlikely background, me being the town's princess and her being a nation's servant, we hid our relationship in the dark... in the closet who only a few friends of mine had knowledge of..

For months and months we were able to hide our relationship, we didnt take any risks of getting caught thats why we never go out alone.. Its either we're in a group or we spend time alone together in a friend's house.. That's how it has been for us till my Dad found us out by accident. He saw us kissing at our back yard one night Amber visited me after a week long duty..

He lectured me on how people will react on this.. how the army will react on our immorality.. As if I didnt know what we were bargaining for.. Amber did everything for my Dad to accept her, she even said she's willing to leave the army for me but Dad just gave him a cold shoulder..  And I tried to explain to him, to my mom and even my sister that Im homoual and Im in love with Amber.. But all I got as a response was... Its just out of curiousity..

Dad never had said yes.. Till now..

I fiddled with the gold plated ring on my finger as I stared out of my window..

"Where are you Amber?" I asked to no one but my reflection as tears rolled down my cheeks..

"You said you'll come back for me....."

So come back now and save me from this horrendous reality....