Finding someone you love to spend the rest of your life with is the ultimate thing we strive for.

In life, we have to sacrifice, lose and fail a lot to succeed. We take risks that we never imagined taking and doing. Most of the time rejection comes more than success bringing us to a very depressing state with a thought in mind that we can’t better our lives and ourselves anymore for we think we’ve done everything already when truth is, we still haven’t.

Same goes with love. We strive so hard and look everywhere just to find that perfect person. We’re always mistaken that results us to break into pieces for we think we’re already with that perfect person but happens, changing everything and erasing the beautiful thoughts in our minds. But if we’re lucky enough, we’ll hit the jackpot earlier and easier than we thought it will be.

To some, they just wait for that “someone” to come, others “hunt” with the idea that if they don’t look for it, they might get left behind, while some just waits, these kind of people are to be praised for being patient and more possible than not, they are the ones who ends up happily.

As for me, I’m a little in between for there was a time when I looked high and low for the right one but after realizing how tiring it is to look and fail in the end, I stopped, thinking that maybe the right one for me was there all along, that all I have to do is look her way and wait.

“So….what is this? Are you really sure of this already?”

“Do you really want to be just a stranger who knows all my secrets?”

After hearing her out, I feel like my heart is dying for each word that came out of struck my poor heart in the most painful way. I don’t have anything to protest for she’s got a point and completely right.

“If being a stranger is going to free me from the pain….I’m happy to be one” she answered, her eyes filling up with another set of tears.

I cannot believe that this is happening for not even in my wildest dreams have I imagined that Rae and I will be in a complicated situation like this. Before, all I know is I love her and is not burdening myself with the problem of how we can keep our friendship if ever the truth about my real feelings for her comes out. But it seems like life is really tricky, I feel like someone is playing with us, making things harder than I’ve imagined it will be.

Her answer put an end to our conversation. I walked out because I don’t know what to say anymore. My mind went blank in a snap with my heart dropping to my feet fast.

I don’t know what I’m feeling, I can’t point it out because it’s mixed up inside me. I’m angry, sad, frustrated and a lot more, making things really hard for me.

Crying harder while walking back to my car, I didn’t even dare to look back at her. I can hear her crying from behind me. She screamed in pain on top of her lungs where I nearly run back to her to give her comfort and tell her that there’s nothing to cry about for I’m sharing the same feelings with her.

With blurry vision, I drive away, passing by her. The long and dark road that was really memorable to us suddenly feels like hell.

“Look at the sky” an eighteen year old Rae said “There’s a lot of stars…it’s so beautiful”

“Jiyong” she called “Did you know that this is the place where my Appa proposed to Omma?”

I looked around and find nothing special “Really?”

She gave a nod “Yeah….this long road and the vast fields are witnesses to that wonderful moment…you know what? When I was still a kid…after hearing that story…I started dreaming about how my future boyfriend will propose marriage to me”

I chuckled “Aigoo Rae…how dreamy can you really be? Huh? You don’t even have suitors yet and you’re already thinking about marriage”

“Look…I know that I for I’m a late bloomer and compared to girls my age who has had a hundred boyfriends already…I haven’t even started…but there’s nothing bad in thinking about the future…”

“I remember Halmeoni will always tell me that we should really dream whether we’re awake or not because those are what motivates us….and dreaming that one day I’ll find my Prince Charming and be married with him is truly wonderful for it might happen…all I have to do is work on it”

Ever since young, Rae is already full of dreams. She listens to her Halmeoni’s words of wisdom and advices, and brought them up to another level. To her, love is really important, it’s that one thing you cannot play with, it’s a fairytale where instead of imagining she’s Cinderalla or Belle from Beauty and the Beast, she makes her own story with her as the princess.

“To be honest…I don’t get it why people becomes so sentimental once something happened to them in a certain place…just look around” I said and she obeyed “There’s nothing special in this place…it’s dark…boring and full of mosquitos”

She sighed heavily then shook her head “Jiyong…you have to see through a lot of things to enjoy life…you also have to be sentimental for the memories you had and will have in the future will make you happy once you remember them”

“How about the bad memories? Will they make me happy?”

“Believe it or not…they will…especially the stupid ones….for example…” she cleared then chuckled “Can you still remember the time where you fell on stage while performing?”

“That’s one memory I don’t want to remember…it embarrassed me to the point that I want the ground to eat me already” I told her, earning a giggle from her.

“It is embarrassing…but if you watch it now…I’m sure you won’t feel that way anymore…you will just laugh it off” she said then smiled sweetly.

From there, we started recalling some of our embarrassing moments and not-that-good memories, and for some magical reason made it into funny ones.

“Why don’t we make this place memorable for us too?” I asked all of a sudden, surprising her.

“Jiyong…can’t we do it in another place?” she asked.

I stared at her curiously “Why is that?”

“As I’ve said…I want this place to be memorable to me by having my future boyfriend propose for marriage here…and if we’re going to make something memorable now...the proposal that I want won’t be as special as I want it to be anymore” she answered, saddening me.

Dropping the idea of doing something memorable, we just stared at the stars while talking about our plans for the future. We imagined ourselves as real performers, doing a collaboration song together, writing and making music together, performing in one stage and battling on the number one spot in music chart