We accept the love we think we deserve.

Aren’t you wondering why there are some people who cannot be contented of the love they’re given? How can we know if the love we’re receiving is what we deserve? When can we say that it lacks or is enough?

You can’t measure one’s love neither can you give it limitations. Like a song title “Love moves in mysterious ways”. Once it hits you, once you fall, there’s no time for you to turn around and run away but you always have a choice. It’s either you jump straight into a relationship or wait till you feel the love that you’re imagining and wanting to have.

Let’s think that we are shopping, with enough money in our wallets then this beautiful purse suddenly captured our eyes, we checked the price and smiled from ear to ear because we can afford it, we called the saleslady to help us with it, our hearts beat so fast in excitement while she’s showing it’s authentication, in our minds we’re already planning what outfit to match to it, but all of a sudden, this strange feeling hit us, for reasons you know not, you began thinking, “Is this purse worthy of my money?”. With a boggled mind, we started thinking not only twice but ten times if we’ll purchase it or not. Then out of nowhere, we’re reminded of how we got the money in our wallet. We worked day and night for it. It’s a fruit of our days or month labor. Consciously and convinced, we grabbed the purse from the saleslady and head to the cashier and paid for it with the same smile that we have a while ago. We walked out of the store happy and suddenly blurted “I deserve this”

Love is that purse, once we cross paths with it and we happen to be captivated by it, we’ll see if we can afford it, not with money but our hearts. A smile will appear on our faces the moment we realize that we can take love in. We’ll act like the saleslady for we are going to check the person who is offering us love. In this situation, we’re not looking for damages, but the person’s real motive on us, if he’s being true or if he’s just playing around. But if there’s one thing that we check in both love and things, it’s its authenticity. Of course, we don’t want to be fooled, we want the real deal.

Last night was really hell for me. I cried my heart out to sleep because I feel so guilty with the things that Jiyong said.

He’s right. I didn’t give much attention to him almost all day, making him feel so left out.

But I swear, I don’t mean it. In my mind, all I want is for us to enjoy without feeling any awkwardness and tension. Also, I gave consideration to Seunghyun for I know that seeing me and Jiyong so intimate and sweet to each other will hurt him, leading to an agreement between me and my man to not be that intimate when he’s around.

In all fairness to Jiyong, he was all good with it and even though there are moments wherein it slips through his mind, he goes back to his senses right away and watch his actions again.

I guess the problem is me this time. I’m the one who doesn’t know how to handle this situation when before we came here, I’m so confident that I’ll not screw up.

All I’m wishing right now is for things to get better even if I have a feeling that it’s impossible.

“hmmm”

The sun is striking straight to my face, waking me. My eyes feels so heavy as well as my body.

As I stretch out, I realized that I’m still alone in bed. It looks like I really hurt him badly for he didn’t even bother to stay in the room with me.

I wonder where he spent the night. I just hope that he didn’t do anything stupid.

Feeling like crap, I decided to start my day. I’m not expecting it to be a blast for I’m sure it won’t no matter what I do. I’m going to expect the worst and prepare to face it.

“Rae! Rae! Open up!” I can hear Seunghyun’s deep voice calling.

Now what? Why does he sound frantic? Oh please! Don’t tell me that something bad happened to Jiyong coz if my intuition is right, I’m gonna go nuts.

I rinsed my heavily soaped body as fast as I can, grabbed my robe and opened the door.

From the way he looks, I can tell that he hasn’t slept yet. Well, it’s so easy for me to tell because his dark circles are so visible.

“What’s going on?” I asked curiously.

He pushed me lightly and walked inside the room. This is so not Seunghyun for he’s not the type of man who barges in someone else’s room.

Now I’m sure of it. Something is going on that I’m sure I’ll be shocked or surprised once he or they tell me about it.

“I need you to get dressed…fast” he said and I just stared at him.

“RAE!” he called, making me jerk up in shock.

“What?” I snapped.

He sighed then pushed me to the bathroom “Get dressed….NOW!” then closed the door even before I say a word.

I don’t have a clue on what he’s up to, but he’s really making me anxious and giddy at the same time. Whatever is waiting for me out there, I guess I just have to ride with it even if my mind is filled with thoughts of Jiyong and his whereabouts.

Peeking out, I told him “I don’t have any clothes in here”

I heard him chuckle “AISH!” then went to my luggage “Aigoo…why are your clothes so….” he checked on a maxi dress that has a very low neck line.

“So….” I said, waiting for him to continue.

He shook his head then looked at me “So y….all I’m seeing are dresses….cropped tank to