Leave the past and embrace the present.

If there’s one thing that is so hard to do, it is forgetting the past, most especially the people in it. Some say that there’s no need to forget when you can just select what you want to retain.

But what if, the ones you want to keep are also the ones that’s gonna truly hurt you or remind you of the pain that you went through?

I guess the answer is simple, all you have to do is take them positively and lightly. I must say, it’s really complicated to do but it’s the only way for you to not be dragged down by what you want to keep in your memory and heart. Also, you don’t have to live in it for the reason why it’s called a memory is because it’s already done and it already happened.

We don’t need to go back anymore, what’s important is the present, the “YOU” now and not who you were before. All that has happened in the past might also happen in the present or in the future but with all that you’ve learned, in one way or the other, even if it happens, some things will change and most of the time, it’s for the better.

It’s been five years and my life has already gone full swing. Additional zeros in the bank, countless awards both local and international, trips around the world, compliments here and there, and the latest is completing my duty in this country and that is going to the military for two years.

I must say that after all this, I’m already achieved for there’s nothing much I have to do. I’ve lived my dream and is still on top of my game, experienced a lot, but I still feel empty for a spot in my heart is looking for somebody who I’m so desperate to see.

Rae. Ever since she disappeared, there’s not one day that she didn’t enter my mind. I thought she’ll just go MIA (missing in action) for a short time, what I didn’t know is that she’s really going to disappear in thin air without even her family knowing where she is.

Yes, they don’t know her whereabouts. According to her father who I braved myself to talk to, her Oppa just went home telling them that she left him her restaurants to own without telling any reasons why. They take this as her way of coping up and moving on from the break-up but like me, they’re not expecting it to take this long.

“Aigoo Jiyong-ah” Teddy Hyung said upon seeing me in the studio.

I looked at him then sighed heavily “I’m trying to look for any social network accounts that can possibly be Rae”

“Again” he said.

“It’s been five years Hyung….I don’t know anybody who can hide for that long…I still cannot believe that up until now she hasn’t contacted her parents….who….like me” I pointed at myself “Are so desperate to find her to the point that they nearly flipped the whole of Korea …but it seems like she’s really living in a cave that nobody knows”

Teddy Hyung sighed “You know what? I think...the reason why nobody can’t find her is because she really doesn’t want to be found”

“Actually….I have a feeling that she’s not here in the country for as far as I can remember….days after she went missing…I checked at the airport and asked if I can look at some of their log books of passengers that go in and out of the country…her name appeared on the departure list but not at the arrival list anymore” I said.

“If I were you…I’ll talk to the last person she talked to” Hyung said “Aside from Tabi…is there another person she talked to that night?” he asked, making me think again.

As far as I can remember, she called her brother that night.

“Her Oppa…I remember him telling me that he was able to talk to her that night” I said.

“Go to wherever he is and squeeze the out of him to talk coz I’m damn sure that he knows where his sister is” he said, making me really anxious.

How’s that even possible? I mean, if he knows where she is, why is he not telling anything to their parents, especially when he can see that they’re so desperate to see her again?

Afternoon came and I was able to think things through. I considered what Teddy Hyung told me and decided to go to Rae’s restaurant that her brother now owns to talk to him.

“Oh! Jiyong-ah!” he said upon seeing me.

I bowed at him “Good Evening Hyung”

“Aigoo…you look manlier than before” he said while patting my arm “How did your military service go?”

He sounds really friendly unlike the last time I talked to him five ears ago.

I gave out a smile “It’s all good…well…it’s not easy…but after getting used to it things got lighter and easier”

“That’s what I exactly felt too” he said, making me chuckle.

Minutes passed by and I’m being treated like a total VIP for plates after plates of pastries and different glasses of shakes and smoothies are being brought to my table.

“You said a while ago that you want to talk to me…what’s it about?” he asked.

I cleared my throat “Hyung…have you heard from Rae already?” I asked nervously while praying so hard for him to tell me what he knows (if ever he knows something).

He just stared at me.

“Jiyong…you haven’t given up yet?” he asked.

“I haven’t” I answered.

“Why is that? I mean….it’s already been five long years since she left…why is it up until now you’re still searching for her?” he asked curiously.

I shrugged “Truth is…I really don’t know…but what I’m sure of is that….I’ll never stop looking coz the only way I can be at peace is once I see her in good shape”

“What if one day you’ll see her but she’s living a different already?”

“What do you mean by “different life”?” I asked.

“Let’s say…she already have a family” he answered that made my heart beat fast.

Honestly, if ever I learn that she already have a family or is married, I’ll be happy even though a part of me will surely be in pain coz I still want a chance on her.

“I’m all good with it I guess” I told him.

It took him a while to speak again.

“I can see in your eyes that you’re really driven” he said and I just nod “Well…let me tell you something” he leaned forward then looked into my eyes “I know where she is all this time”

The moment I heard what he said, the nerves in my body awakened, I feel like I’m near the end of the dark tunnel I’m in and is just a few meters away from the light.

“Really Hyung?” I asked in disbelief.

He gave a few nods “Yes…I’ve been keeping it for five LONG years…and not even my family knows anything”

“How….why….”

I don’t know what to say at all.

“The day she went to Japan….I had this feeling that she’ll not go home again…I don’t know why but I can see in her eyes that she wants to run away…that’s why when she called me that night and told me about her plan…I’m not that shocked anymore…I tried to stop her but didn’t bother after a while for I know that she can’t be stopped….”

“She wants to break free from all the chaos and the mess here…that’s why she decided to go far away to start anew”

“From Japan…she went to New York…lived there for a few months then moved to Chicago but after three years of staying there…she moved out again and went to Tennessee where she is living happily up until now”

Now I know why nobody can’t find her, it’s because she