You have the power to make yourself happy, you don’t need someone else to.

Why is that I still feel so empty even if I already have everything I want and more? Why am I not getting noticed? Am I too intimidating? Too plain? Do I give a little girl feel to any man? Am I not womanly enough for them?

 My career is taking flight. My restaurants are doing so well. I keep on expanding my empire. Based from what people say, I’m not ugly. My hair is what most men like in a woman; smooth, silky black, long and straight. I do have bad hair days, but I can pull it off most of the time. Most people also say that I look younger than my age. I may have gained weight but I still look the same for whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I’m not that horrified to see a bit of flabs. Being curvy can be an asset too, right? 

Why are there people who can’t see the beauty that others see? Why is it, no matter what I do, how hard I try to level myself to his ideals and do whatever it is that I think will make him notice me, nothing is happening? It’s still the same. I’m still a best friend which is beginning to already.

*alarm ringing*

I forced myself to sit up then rubbed my eyes.

“I can be happy….I need to be happy” I muttered randomly “I don’t need to give a damn on him every time and think of him as well…I’m the only person who can pull myself out of the hell I’m in and no one else” I added.

This is so weird of me. I just woke up and here I am, uttering motivating words to myself. Maybe I’m thinking way too much that even in my sleep, it’s still running in my head.

With my unexpected positivity, I prepared for work and conditioned my mind for the longest day of my life.

Today is really special. One of my restaurants will be featured in an international magazine that will surely bring my empire to a higher level. I cannot be proud enough for at last, my hard work will pay off.

The said brand is known all over the world for its popular features. It’s Martha Stewart’s LIVING magazine where good food and good places are celebrated and talked about. Not to brag, but you can only count by hand how many Korean restaurants and chefs have been in it, and I’m so lucky to be one of them.

My only wish is for things to go well, because I’m gonna lose my sanity if something not supposed to happen, happens.

Aside from that, I have to go to Daejeon for Halmeoni’s eightieth birthday. Of course, no matter how busy I am, I won’t miss it for the world.

“Good Morning Chef!” my staffs greeted upon seeing me.

“Good Morning guys!” I greeted back cheerfully then looked around.

In all fairness to my people here, they really work clean and well. The counters are shining, the tables are glistening, the floor can be a mirror for it’s spotless, and the cakes are perfectly arranged in its glass chiller as well as the pastries in their display case.  This is a good start.

“Can I see the menu that we’ll serve to our guests later?” I asked my assistant.

I don’t even have to wait long for she handed it to me right away and is impressed for everything that I told them to prepare are on it.

“OMO! Chef!” a staff gasped upon seeing me cleaning the kitchen.

I stopped scrubbing the counters then looked at him “Why?”

He got the scrub from me then smiled “You shouldn’t be doing this…and…” he looked around “The kitchen is already clean”

Well it is true. The kitchen is squeaky clean but I just feel like cleaning it again to calm my nerves down. This is how I am whenever I’m nervous. I tend to do random things just to get my mind straight.

*phone ringing*

“Good Morning!”

Just by the sound of his voice, I can already tell who my caller is. His baritone bedroom voice is so unique and good to hear. I admit, it’s y.

“Seunghyunie!” I called “Good Morning!”

He chuckled “Are you at the restaurant already?”

I patted my staff’s shoulder and excused myself “Yep!”

“You’re early boss” he said, making me giggle.

“I have to because it’s the restaurant’s biggest day…the boss can’t be late coz I have to check on a lot of things for this day to go on smoothly and as planned” I replied.

“Oh!” he snapped “You’re gonna be interviewed today!”

I smirked “Aigoo….I told you about it yesterday and you already forgotten…it seems like you’re aging faster than it should be” I teased and he burst out in laughter.

My mornings will never be the same without a call or a message from him. This man will give me a ring no matter where he is, how late or early he wakes up and how busy and hectic his schedule is. There are even times where he’ll just greet me Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening then hang up right after. It can be so weird, but I’m glad because he’s really making time for me.

“How do you think it will go?” he asked.

I think for a while then sighed “To be honest….I’m quite positive about this….my only concern is…what if I can’t answer some of their questions…or worse…most of them because of my nerves? You know me….once nervousness hit me…I’ll go completely blank and everything will be screwed”

Here I go again. I’m thinking negatively when there’s really nothing to think and worry about. This isn’t an entrance exam to a university or a licensure exam. It’s just an interview.

“Listen to me and listen well” he said “You’re gonna do good….I have confidence in you…we can’t do anything with your nerves for it’ll hit you no matter what coz it’s normal…all you have to do is fight through it….don’t think too much and just let things flow…say what’s on your mind…show them your true self and that’s it!”

“I’m sure they’re going to love you and everything will go well too” he finishes and it really gave me the encouragement that I badly needed.

As expected, Seunghyun is the one who calmed me down and motivated me. There’s nothing new to it for it’s always been this way for a long time now. Not to mention, he also remembered this special day.

Jiyong on the other hand, has forgotten it for sure, to think that he’s the first person to know about this magazine feature. This might be nuts, but even if I know that he will not give me a call or send a good luck mes