Moving forward means the start of a new life.

It’s hard. It’s a real challenge. It’s impossible.

These are what we always hear from us whenever we think about moving on from a relationship. Well it is really hard especially when you’ve given up the real world to live in a world that you thought will be yours forever but things didn’t go right and it crashes down on you.

Let’s face it, forgetting someone and accepting your loss is hard for you never thought that this will happen but as they say, for you to be able to live another life after the one that gone wrong, you have to look straight, walk forward and leave the pain behind. It is hard but it’s what you have to do for you can’t lock yourself in misery for the rest of your life.

Letting go and moving on doesn’t mean that you have to forget everything, you can bury some of the memories for a while, like a time capsule and retrieve it once you’re ready for them again and when you can look back and think of those memories without hurting, it’s an indication that you’ve already moved on which means a new life is going to start or has started already.

Times passes by so quickly. It seems like yesterday when I finally found Rae after five years of hiding. Rae. The woman who taught me a lot of things, the only person who can point out my flaws, tell it without me getting annoyed or mad and the one who my heart wanted for so long. I must admit, even if I’ve given up the fight for her love and accepted that she will never be mine again for she loves somebody else, a bit of hope is still there, sadly, she didn’t look my way anymore and it hurts but I’d rather be in pain than be in war with TOP Hyung again, not when I know that he’s the one she really loves.

Now, they’re happily married for nearly a year already. Nothing’s change between our friendship though. I’m still their best friend, TOP Hyung’s adorable dongsaeng and leader, and Rae’s person to run to whenever she doesn’t feel like bugging her husband. Actually, we’re much closer than before, maybe because we already know where we stand in each other’s lives.

“Wazzup!” I greeted TOP Hyung when he walked in the studio. From the way he looks I can tell that he’s in a good mood which is not new anymore for he’s always been in a good mood ever since he got married.

He placed his bag down on the couch and sat on the swivel chair in front of me and sighed heavily. This means something.

“Any problem?” I ask curiously.

“None…it’s just that…I have a feeling that you’re going to have one” he chuckled while it built up my curiosity. I wonder what he’s talking about.

With an eyebrow raised, I just stared at him while thinking of what this problem might be. As far as I know our sub-unit is doing very well with him, Youngbae and I having a concert by the end of the year. It’s actually unexpected for our only plan is to release an album just for the people to know that we’re back and ready to roll again, but I guess Big Bang’s fire hasn’t really went off even after years of hiatus which I’m really grateful because it only means that we still have a place in the music industry as a group and not only as individuals artists.

After a while, I felt my phone vibrating and Rae’s name is on the screen, calling me.

“I think I know who will cause my upcoming problem” I told TOP Hyung who just nod and laugh.

Why do I have a feeling that she’s going to make me do something that can be the equivalent of murdering someone? I know this woman, she can be so crazy sometimes. I wish that she will not ask me to accompany her to shopping lingerie’s for the last time I did, I was all over the news and even made it to the headlines for being seen in a store with a cart that is full of lace, satin and mesh brassieres and .

“What?” I have her on speaker so that her husband can hear her as well.

“Are you free this evening?” she ask. I can hear her whisking on the other line.

She’s back in the kitchen after realizing that singing is good to be a hobby but not a job for entering the music industry and going completely public is gonna be too much for her coz TOP Hyung is public enough. We all agreed to it for dealing with marriage and eventually a family is hard without privacy.

“Can you go here at the restaurant?”

“Why?” she’s killing me with curiosity. This woman better have a good reason as to why I need to meet her this evening or else, she’ll get it from me and I don’t care if TOP Hyung will punish me after.

She shrieked for something fell – a tin – then sighed heavily “Just come here….all right? I gotta go….my batter just fell”

It made us laugh for she sounds so pissed. Is this Karma getting her for what she’s about to do to me later?

I’m anxious for I don’t have even a bit of a clue on what it is. TOP Hyung is not helping for I can tell that Rae strictly told him not to spill out anything, his lips are sealed by her which for it left me thinking all day to the point that I made lots of mistakes during our rehearsals.

Giddy, curious and somewhat feeling lost, I decided to go to her restaurant – a new one  for she didn’t get the old one back from her brother – as usual it’s packed without even a single table empty. She opened this restaurant four months ago and got a lot of patrons not just because she’s Big Bang’s T.O.P’s wife but her cooking along with pastries are so good, actually even better than before.

“Where is she?” I ask her assistant who is so busy checking their reservations.

She smiled at me then pointed at Rae’s office down the hallway, a door away from the kitchen. I smiled back, nod and head to her office.

“I’m already here…what do you want?” I ask without even greeting her. I positioned the chair in front of her desk, facing her and crossed my legs while waiting for her to answer.

Excited with a smile that can rip her face in two, she handed me a folder that I opened right away and just sighed after seeing its contents.

“Not again” I told her and put down the folder on her desk “You’re going nuts…seriously nuts”

She sighed and looked at the papers inside the folder. There are about ten to twelve bachelorette profiles with high-end, respected careers in it. I really don’t know what’s gotten into her but for these past few months she’s playing cupid and her only target is me.

“C’mon Jiyongie! These women aren’t bad at all” she raised an eyebrow and pulled out a profile “Except for this one” she crumpled the paper and tossed it in the bin “She’s divorced twice and has a bad record in dating” good thing she explained that.

“Then why is her profil