In life, there are only three things we should do; LIVE, LOVE and DIE.

Not to brag, but I am living my life in such a beautiful and amazing way. I’m yet to reach some goals that were left on my list, but everything is doing so well for me and I’m not rushing anyway.

They say that once you’re happy with how your life is going, you can conquer the world of love already. I must admit, I’ve never put so much attention into it, simply because I don’t want to complicate things. In my head, I’d rather give the girl that I want to someone she deserves the most for I’m not deserving enough coz I can’t give her the time that is needed in a relationship and my full attention.

And then I met a wonderful girl, a precious gem who captured my heart from the very first time I saw her. I’ve kept my feelings for some time now and can’t push myself to voice it out yet. Staying as friends is the only way I can think of to keep her in my life, but I really don’t know if our friendship will bring us somewhere.

I’m in-love with my best friend who only sees me as a big brother, and to make matter’s worse, she’s in love with somebody else that happens to be like a brother to me.

To be honest, I’ve never thought that I’ll be put in this complicated situation. There are times when I ask myself, “Why am I squeezing myself into her heart when there are a lot of women out there who is much more willing to take me in, not only as a best friend or a brother, but a lover? In the end, the only answer to that question is, “I love her so much to leave and forget”

“hmm”

It’s already pass eight in the morning and it looks like she’s still in bed. I guess she really stayed late last night.

“Aigoo…are you still in bed?” I asked.

There was silence on her end “OH !” she snapped all of a sudden, surprising me.

“Seunghyunie…I’m late for work!” she’s in her panic mode already.

I chuckled “Yeah…you are”

“Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed.

I can imagine her kicking the duvet off her body, getting out bed and rushing to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I’m so sure that she will not even bother to dry her hair or even comb it coz she’s always like that whenever she’s in a hurry.

“Jiyong! Jiyong! Wake up!” I heard her saying.

I get it. She spent the night in Jiyong’s house.

AISH! Why do I feel jealous? Here I am again. My heart is cracking and near to breaking when I’m the one who told her to just spend the night with Jiyong so that she won’t have to go home late at night. Not to mention, she has slept in his house for a few times in the past already. What’s disturbing is, they seem to be in one room now.

Jiyong grunted “What?”

“I have to go now…I’m running late for work” Rae said but didn’t hear any response from him.

“Rae! Rae!” I called.

I think she already forgotten that I’m on the phone.

“Seunghyun?” she called unsurely.

“I’m still here” I answered “Are you good? Do you want me to pick you up?”

What am I thinking? How can I even pick her up when I’m an hour drive away from where she is? I’m at the location of the movie filming already and there’s no way that I can go to her.

“It’s all cool…I’m leaving after I say goodbye to Auntie…Jiyong doesn’t want to wake up so I’ll just leave a note for him” she said and I heard a door closing.

“Alright…I’ll hang up first…call me once you’re at the restaurant already” I told her.

She sighed “OK…Goodbye”

To the people who don’t know me well, I’m a cold person, an introvert who rarely gives emotions and reactions, but to her, I’m a different person.  I care for her more than anyone, my heart melts every time she smiles and my happiest moments are whenever I’m with her. Rae is the one who can bring out the child and the man in me all at the same time, and she’s the only person I cannot get mad to. Truth is, the world can hate on me and I’ll just ignore it, but if one day she’s going to hate me for whatever reason, I might lose my sanity.

“Seunghyun…your scene is next” a production assistant called and I rushed to the set right away.

My head is not in the filming and is once again with her. I’m always like this, especially whenever she’s with Jiyong. The mere fact that she loves him is already enough to shake me and knowing how easy she is to bend when it comes to him, I can’t help but worry. That girl will do everything for Jiyong, even if it’s beyond her capabilities.

*One message received*

Hours passed and I’m finally done with the filming. It started in the morning and ended early evening, and all this time, all I’m thinking is how to meet Rae when I still have a lot of things to do. I’ll only be here in the city for a few days and fly to another country with the group again, and as much as possible, I want to spend some time with her for it’ll be weeks till we meet again.

“Oh hyung! You’re already here!” Jiyong said upon seeing me walking in the studio.

I gave out a smile and greeted everybody. We are recording for a new album already even if we just released a new one and this, I’m telling you, is the most exciting for the group since all we want to do is give out good music to the public.

“How’s the filming going hyung?” Seungri asked.

I sighed “It’s tough…I keep on having bruises from all the action scenes” I answered, making the members laugh.

“Aigoo hyung…that’s really bad” Youngbae said and I nod in agreement.

“You should tell Hyun Suk hyung to give you mellow roles next time hyung…like male leads in a romantic movie” Daesung said.

I shook my head “I don’t think I can handle something like that…I’m too shy to even hold a girl’s hand”

They smirked “What if the female lead is Rae hyung? Are you still going to be shy?” Jiyong asked, making my heart beat so fast.

If that ever happens, I might not treat it as work but something more special and intimate.

“Yaaa…Jiyong-ah…do you think something good will come out if she’s the female lead?” I pretended to act cool.

He laughed “hmmm…none”

It cracked us up “But admit it….Rae is really a good actor…remember when she’s supposed to be the female lead for our music videos Lies and Haru Haru?” Youngbae asked and we gave him a nod.

Actually, Rae isn’t supposed to be a Chef for she really wants to be a perf