You’ve never felt pain until you’ve felt love.

Humans are used to pain, it’s a part of life.

There are different causes of it. Physically, it can still be tolerable from a simple wound to a headache or a severe stomach pain, but you know what? It’s nothing compared to the pain that love can give and bring us.

When we’re in love, everything and anything is in its right places. We see the world in a different way and its colors are more vibrant than it used to be. Thing is, when all things fall apart, you’ll feel something inside you that is so strong to the point that there are moments wherein you just want to end your life.

Whether it’s your first time to get your heartbroken or you’ve been in this stage for ten times already, the feeling is the same, it never changes, it’s still as painful as the first but when it’s true and when you know in yourself that you’ve given everything you have and even the ones you don’t have, the pain is up to a thousand notches.

Why?

Because you have wrapped your mind around the idea that what you have, the man/woman beside you is already “the one” and no one and nothing can take them away from you anymore, but as they say, nothing is permanent in this playful world, one day you’re floating in happiness, the next, you’re drown in a pool of misery and worse, thrown in hell.

Love is really strong, it brings the best out of us and can bring the out of us as well. True pain is usually caused by this four letter word, but you know what? If you’re good in handling relationships and your love is true and sincere, you will not experience deep pain, just bits and pieces of it that is not even going to have a huge impact on you.

“Oh Hyung!”

This is so strange. TOP Hyung is on the other line.

Well, it’s not  supposed to be strange for he used to call me from time to time before, but ever since Rae and I became a couple, things changed for he doesn’t call me anymore.

I hate to admit, but the gap between us hasn’t gotten closer yet. In fact, it’s still in the same distance. I’m just so thankful because we’re being civil to each other, not just for the sake of Big Bang and our friendship, but for the woman that we both love as well.

“Jiyong…where are you?” he asked.

I excused myself from the coordi Noonas and went out of the dressing room “I’m doing a photo shoot Hyung....but it’s about to end in a few minutes coz I only have one set left”

“aaahh…Ok”

What’s with him?

“Oh! Happy Birthday!” he snapped after seconds of silence, making me chuckle “I’m about to greet you before asking where you are but it kinda slipped off my mind…aigoo”

TOP Hyung is TOP Hyung. He’s really funny even if he’s not intending to be one.

“Thank you Hyung” I replied with a smile on my face.

I feel warm all of a sudden. I don’t know, but even if we still have issues and in one way or another we treat and see each other as rivals, there’s still thoughtfulness between us which is really good.

“Why did you call Hyung?” I asked after an awkward silence.

He cleared his throat “uhmm…Rae and I talked a while ago and she asked me to call you and see if you’re available tonight”

That woman. Is she still mad at me? Doesn’t she have a phone? Why does she have to ask someone to contact me if she can do it herself?

Alright. I’m already there. We still haven’t straighten things out after what happened yesterday, but to me, I’m done with it because after hearing her last night, I was able to think things through and realized that she really has a point.

Rae is always the one reaching out. Our relationship is still in need of intense work and she’s doing it all by her own when I can at least cooperate a little amidst how busy I am. I also feel so petty after getting mad at her for always having and mentioning TOP Hyung in her stories.

She’s right. There’s nothing to tell or even brag about our relationship yet because we still barely did anything together. I’m not always with her unlike TOP Hyung which I regret for no matter how I want to be by her side all the time, I can’t for I have things to be done.

Honestly, I feel really bad for her because she has to be the one to adjust to me when I should be the one adjusting to her for it’s the easiest way coz we got to admit, putting a very private and simple living person in the world of the “non-private” and messy is really a challenge.

“You know what Hyung? She hasn’t greeted me yet…I don’t know if she’s doing it on purpose or if she has forgotten about my birthday” I said, making him laugh.

“Were you able to talk last night?” he asked.

All of a sudden, both lines are serious.

I sighed heavily “Well…we have talked….I told her the reason why I snapped out on her and I listened very well on what she has to say…but after talking so much and apologizing for so many times…she didn’t reacted to it at all…later did I know….she has fallen asleep already”

This is partly funny. Last night, Rae and I talked and were able to hear each other out, but it seems like my girl is really getting back on me for sleeping on her while we’re talking over the phone days ago because she did the same to me last night. I even waited for I don’t know how many minutes for her reaction to my long piece of thoughts just to hear her snoring.

TOP Hyung laughed out loud “That’s what you call SWEET and EPIC revenge” he said, making me smirk.

“Now I know how annoying it is coz I swear Hyung…I was so emotional while telling her what I feel and think about the whole issue and even suggested some things on how we can work our relationship out and here she is…playing in dreamland” I told him and he laughed so loud again.

After catching his breath, he cleared his throat and went back to business “So…are you available tonight?” he asked.

I don’t know what’s waiting for me but of course, I wouldn’t turn Rae down.

Truth is, I can feel that she prepared a good celebration for me.

“Hyung…you don’t have to ask that anymore…I’ll go…of course!” I answered lively, receiving a chuckle from him “I’m actually excited”

“Alright then…I’ll tell her that you’re coming” he said “Head to her restaurant in Hongdae after your photo shoot”

“Noted!” I said with my heart beating wildly in excitement.

Time suddenly feels so slow after that. I keep on looking at the clock on the wall and for some reason, it looks like it’s not moving even an inch at all when I feel like I’ve been in front of the camera for hours already. I can’t wait to see what Rae has prepared for me.

“Yow!” Xin unexpectedly showed up.

“Bro!” we greeted each other “Wazzup?” I asked.

He patted my shoulder “Happy Birthday!”

It made me smile “Thank you”

“Are you already done here?” he asked while looking around.

I gave a nod “Yeah…I’ll just change my clothes and I’m out”

He smiled “That’s good…hurry up coz we’ll go somewhere”

“Where?” I asked curiously.

“Secret” he pushed me to the dressi