Review by KoreanBiased

*Story Title: 2/5

Of course the title is not very original and the words "so", "sweet", and "simple" are common in a lot of different story titles. It would be best to improve the title by adding more difficult vocabulary and longer words. The title isn't too short or too long and it fits perfectly with your story. It's not bad, but it isn't enough to be called great.

Poster and Backround Appearance:  4/10

The poster is pretty well done. I like the quote near the bottom of the poster. The colors are nice too. It fits well with your story considering that it explains that you have a love triangle between someone, Yoseob, and Gikwang. There aren't any flaws, but it's too simple and nothing pops out to me. The background should be a simple pattern or solid color to match with your poster instead of a repetitive picture of B2St. It would make the poster fit into your story much better. I would suggest a shade of orange or pink that was incorporated into your poster.

*Neatness: 5/5

This score is pretty easy to get. I have no problems with your font and there are no contrasting paragraphs that don't exactly make sense.

*Story Description: 3/10

The description is fine, but it could be way better. Instead of writing out your characters' personalities, it would be best to describe your story line. Nothing too long or too short. A paragraph or two would be nice. The reason why the description isn't so good of a score is because that section is for you to describe your story rather than your characters. You can keep that part in the description, but it would be nice to add those couple of paragraphs just for the reader to get the main idea.

Teaser/Foreword: 7/10

Nothing too special or exciting, but I like the fact that you used the foreword like a prologue.

Chapter Titles: 3/5

The chapter titles are simple and they summarize your chapter well enough. I didn't see anything in particular that are not following the rules of grammar except for chapter 11.  "My Apologize" can be changed to  "My Apologies" or "I Apoligize" to become grammatically correct. Other chapter titles are not a problem unless I missed them.

*Plot: 18/30

The story is really cute. The character's change often, which I like. It makes a story, a story. The story progression is not too slow nor too fast so the tempo is just right. The only problem I have with the plot is that it's a little unoriginal. Other than that, I really like how the scenes progress and see how she changes as she gets closer to Yoseob and Gikwang. However, my interest in the story depleted probably some time after the fire incident and before the karaoke scenes.

*Originality: 4/10

Not a lot of people write about photographers, but the outline of the story is rather common. A girl who has no interest in idols, or is not a fan, meets the idols themselves and two of them stick out to her, then she has to choose between the two when love starts to form. It happens a lot for other stories. So it is not uncommon to find these types of stories.

*Spelling: 10/10

There weren't any mistakes with the spelling so far. I haven't seen any spelling errors at all in the story. I may have missed some, but in the end, your spelling is spectacular. Well, other than the word "apologies" is spelled like "apologize".

*Grammar: 4/10

Your grammar needs to improve by a bit. At the start of your story, you talk in present tense, but then you switch to past tense, and then you do it over and over. It would be much better if you stayed in present tense because you seem to use it more than past. You also forget to insert commas in specific parts and somtimes you forget to add an apostrophe when things are plural.

Ex: Red colored font is added to the original, if the red markings are removed, you would get the original text.

" I looked at the apartment building and sighed."

" After all, I have a contract for one year term."

" BEAST's manager gave me their apartment room exact location so I wouldn't get lost."

I also suggest for you to try to italicize your characters' thoughts so they don't get mixed in with the actions. It isn't needed, but it would help you be more organized.

*Flow: 9/10

The pace is steady and goes along with the story well, but the beginning was a little slow. Everything after that was just fine.

*Writing Style: 7/10

Your writing is average and common. I think it would be better for you to lengthen your paragraphs so most of them end up being two or more lines. It's okay for now. Your vocabulary is also average, I think you should try to expand it a little more. Try using a thesaurus, it helps your story sound and look more professional.

Ending: 6/10

I was pretty surprised that it ended up like that. I predicted that Yoseob would just go running towards the airport to catch up with her. However, in another sense, the ending was predictable. It didn't have enough surprise or excitement in the last chapter which is usually the reason why people have sequels. I'll try to read your sequel when I have time.

*Overall Enjoyment: 2/5

I absolutely love the story! It's cute, simple, and sweet all at the same time! At first, I was tired of reading it, but after I passed the fifth chapter, the story just got better. Near the middle end, it wasn't so easy to read through it because I didn't like it, but after all the singing in some chapters, it got back to the way I felt about it near the beginning to middle. I hope that you will improve your writing just a tad bit and you will be fine off with getting a lot of subscribers.

Bonus: 2/5

The bonuses are for your great spelling and how you could show how the character changes from chapter one to the end.

*Total: 86/140  

                61.43%

I had read your story when it was in its early stages, probably three to five chapters. I didn't continue after those chapters and I didn't press subscribe, but after reading, it changed my opinion. I have to admit, the first chapters may not be so interesting, but if you read further into the story, it gets nicer. I would recommend this for B2UTIES everywhere. Just like your title states, the story is simple and sweet, and may be unoriginal, but I liked the simplicity. Sorry for the late response and reviewer change.

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If I made a mistake with the score, recount again. If it still is a mistake, tell me to change it for the better. If I added more points than I should have, don't tell me! I want you to be as satisfied as possible!

- Done by KoreanBiased


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Thank you for the great review and I can't agree furthermore with the review.
Completely agree and love the review.

This review made up my mind;
I will rewrite the whole story of So Sweet, So Simple.

I want to thank you Dvyrus for the poster and also KoreanBiased for the review.

But it will take  a while because I want to focus with my current stories.
For all readers, subscribers, and friends,
a million thank you.

:)