60 Departure
So Sweet, So Simple
[Sora's POV]
Two days have passed since the day we went to the amusement park. I have talked to Mina yesterday, right after I returned from BEAST performance and I received a ticket to Paris from my father.
"Are you sure?" Mina asked me.
"I have discussed it with their manager," I bowed to her. "I'm sorry to make you take my position."
"No, I'm happy to be their photographer but...," Mina paused. "They will be really sad, you know."
"Maybe," I muttered. "Please start tomorrow. I will tell them."
Mina nodded slowly but sure.
I have texted all of the BEAST members, telling them that Mina will take the photographs for today's performance since I need to go somewhere.
Here I am.
At the airport.
[Gikwang's POV]
"We're done!" Hyunseung takes off his jacket.
"Thank you, Mina," Dongwoon says to Mina, who is holding her own camera.
"I hope I can do better tomorrow," Mina giggles. "I think I still need to learn more."
"Tomorrow?" I mutter. "Is Sora going somewhere again tomorrow?"
"She hasn't told you?" Mina frowns.
I have a really bad feeling now. What does she mean? What is it that Sora hasn't told us about?
"She is leaving for Paris today," Mina states out, making all of us have shocked expression. "She told me that she has told you guys already."
"It's not funny," Yoseob hisses. "She didn't say anything to us! Why should she even go to Paris suddenly?!"
"She really didn't tell you about Aunt's condition, did she?" Mina gasps.
After that, Mina told us about Sora's mother's condition, that her father wants her to continue the research project at Paris.
About what Sora told her yesterday, that Mina will replace her position as our personal photographer because of her contract with us.
Without even bothering to clean our make ups, we rush to the van, telling our manager that we want to go to Sora's room immediately.
Yoseob is really mad; I know it. He looks like he will shout at manager's face because he didn't say anything about it, but he tries to hold his anger.
Right after we arrived at the apartment, both of me and Yoseob rush to Sora's room. Mina gives us the key because Sora also gave her room to Mina, so she can stay there to work with us.
Nothing. The room is empty. As if no one ever lived here before.
[Yoseob's POV]
"Sora leaves something here!" Mina shouts from Sora's bedroom. We quickly rush to her bedroom.
Please. Please don't tell me it's from her.
I'm holding up my anger all the way to here. I want to see her. Yesterday she didn't look as her usual self, but she said that she's just tired. That's all.
I've been trying to call her but she didn't pick up.
This is impossible to happen.
There are seven white envelopes on the bed. Doojoon steps closer to the bed and pick one of the envelopes with "BEAST" word on the envelope.
He reads the letter loudly,
"Dear BEAST,
I'm sorry for leaving without telling you about everything. I know you will be really mad at me when you're reading this letter. I think you've already knew the reason why I left from Mina, right?
I'm writing this letter all by myself. Please don't be surprised with my words here. I write it sincerely.
Thanks and sorry for these last four months.
Sincerely,
Sora"
We exchange looks. I can see that all of us have doubt and hesitation.
Each of us picks the envelope with our names.
[Doojoon's POV]
I pick the envelope with "Doojoon" word on it. There are a letter and two pictures inside of the envelope.
"Dear Doojoon Oppa,
thank you for being a wise and understanding brother for me.
I took the first picture at the field near our apartment at midnight after I bought a soccer ball. I tried to make a goal but ended up trip over. I think you are a really great soccer player because you can make a goal.
Thank you for riding the merry-go-round with me. It was real fun. This picture is really good.
Doojoon Oppa, please take care of the other members as well. I will be praying for you from here.
I'm sorry for leaving this sudden.
Sincerely,
Sora, also a B2UTY"
I look at the pictures. A picture of Sora holding a soccer ball and a picture of me with Sora yesterday at the amusement park. Yoseob was the one who took this picture when we were riding merry-go-round.
She is smiling in both of the pictures. I can't help myself to smile when I look at the pictures. But I know it's a sad smile.
[Hyunseung's POV]
Ah, there is two pictures inside of the envelope.
There are a picture of Sora with a failed cupcake; her face was messy because of flour, and a picture of me with Sora. We were eating ice cream. Junhyung was the one who took this picture. She looks really cute in these two pictures.
I read the letter,
"Dear Hyunseung Oppa,
thank you for being so nice for me all this time.
I tried to make cupcake for you but ended up messing with the kitchen. I hope you will like it. I always love your cooks. You always try to cheer me up and the others with your cooks. You are a really wonderful person.
Thank you for treating me the chocolate ice cream. Chocolate is my most favorite flavor. I like this picture. I will keep it as one of my favorite pictures.
Please take care of other members with your best cooks as always. I will be supporting you all the way.
Sincerely,
Sora, who loves chocolate"
Does this mean she is saying goodbye to us? That she will never see us anymore?
[Junhyung's POV]
What is this girl trying to do?
I pull the letter out from the envelopes quickly, making two pictures hit the ground. I pick up the pictures and look at them.
A picture of Sora and Hara together. They were making peace signs with their fingers, giving their best smile here. There is another picture of me and Sora at the amusement park yesterday. We were playing a ball game yesterday. I think Dongwoon took this picture with her camera.
I turn my eyes to her letter,
"Dear Junhyung Oppa,
thank you for being such a great person, for being such a supportive brother.
I asked Hara to take the first picture with me yesterday. She is really pretty. Both of you are meant to be together. I wish all the best for you and Hara.
Thank you for playing the game with me. You are really good with the balls. This picture shows natural expressions of us. I like it. Take care of the teddy bear.
Please be patient with the other members. Be happy.
Please don't be mad because of me.
Sincerely,
Sora, your little sister"
Is she leaving us for forever?
[Dongwoon's POV]
I read a letter written by Sora,
"Dear Dongwoon Oppa,
I'm sorry I can't be with you at your birthday. I hope you will forgive me.
Playing piano is not easy. I'm glad you taught me how to play the piano. I still have a long way to go to master it.
Playing piano is not easy. I'm glad you taught me how to play the piano. I still have a long way to go to master it.
Thank you for taking this picture together with me. We look really cute with the rabbit ears, right? That was the first time I wore an animal stuff.
Dongwoon Oppa, please be cheerful as always for the others.
Happy (early) birthday.
Sincerely,
Sora, the youngest one"
I take out two pictures from the envelope. One of the pictures is the picture of Sora playing a piano. I think she used a tripod to take this picture. The other picture is the picture of me and Sora at the amusement park yesterday. We were wearing rabbit ears on our head, acting as if we were rabbits. She looks really shy here.
I turn around and look at Mina. She gives me an apologetic face, as if she is telling us that Sora is leaving us.
[Gikwang's POV]
My heart is aching when I take the envelope. I don't want to know what's inside of the envelope. But I know that Sora has wrote what she needs to say there.
I take a deep breath and then take the envelope, reading the letter from her slowly,
"Dear Gikwang Oppa,
I'm really, really sorry, for leaving like this.
Thank you for loving me all this time. Thank you for being a really sweet person. Thank you for being my first lover. Thank you for everything.
I still remember the moment you gave me the white roses on White Day. I still remember how my heart was beating really fast when you confessed to me. I still remember your sincere smile everytime I blushed.
I think you will meet someone better than me, someone who will love you will all her heart. I hope you will find her soon.
There are three pictures with this letter.
The picture of me and the white roses you gave to me on White Day.
The picture of me wearing your black thick rimmed glass. I'm sorry I didn't ask your permission yesterday when I took this picture. It is a really cool glasses.
The picture of us on the ferris wheel. That was the first time I went on a ferris wheel. Thank you for giving me the picture yesterday.
Don't be sad. Don't blame yourself. You are a wonderful person with comforting smile, Gikwang Oppa.
Thank you for being so sweet.
I will miss you.
Sincerely with love,
Sora"
Why?
Why did she leave like this?
Why didn't she tell us everything first?
Why did she have Mina to tell us the reason?
My heart aches.
It's really hurt.
[Yoseob's POV]
I clench my fists. The others have started reading the letters from Sora.
I have a really bad feeling.
I have a really bad feeling.
I take a step closer from the bed, hesitate whether to read the letter or not. I reach out my hand and take the envelope, taking the letter out from it.
"Dear Yoseob Oppa,
I know you will be really mad. Blame me. I don't mind.
I'm sorry for leaving like this. You must be hate me for being such a cold person. Hate me if you want, if you will feel better after that.
Thank you for the glove and the scarf. I still remember the night you gave me the glove. I still remember the day you gave me the scarf. It's been a while.
Yoseob Oppa, thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me with all your heart. Thank you for everything you did for me. Thank you for waiting my answer.
I'm sorry for not giving you an answer. I'm sorry for not saying anything to you. I'm sorry that I can't say goodbye to you directly.
I love to take pictures at the rooftop since you showed me your special spot. I took one of the pictures there. It was a sunny day.
Do you remember the day you took a picture of us together? It was my first day to work with you and you suddenly took a picture of us together. I still keep the picture.
Thank you for the cotton candy. It's not a chocolate flavor but I like it. Your smile in this picture is really bright. I hope you will keep smiling like this in the future.
I'm sorry if you can't read some parts of this letter. I'm sorry for crying when I write this letter.
Be cheerful. Be honest. Be simple like what you always do.
Maybe, just maybe, we will meet again someday.
Sincerely with love,
Sora"
She knew I will be mad and she still leave us like this?
She cried when she wrote this letter. Then why does she leave?!
I clench my fists, trying not to blame anybody because of my frustrating mind.
How can she leave us like this? How can she leave me like this?
I take out my phone and quickly call her phone but her phone is not active. I try again, again, and again.
"Yoseob, stop," Doojoon puts his hand on my shoulder. "Sora is not going to pick your call."
"She must pick it!" I shout. I can't hold on anymore. "She is not going to leave us like this! She has the contract!"
"She left it for Mina, remember?" Junhyung says, putting the letter back in the envelope. "You know she considered this decision carefully. She does this for her mother."
"By leaving us is the best decision?!" I hit the wall with my fist.
"Tell me," Doojoon clears his throat, "what will you do if you are at her position? Will you choose your work or your family? Will you choose your client over your dying parent?"
"Tell me," Doojoon clears his throat, "what will you do if you are at her position? Will you choose your work or your family? Will you choose your client over your dying parent?"
A single tear has escaped from my eyes.
I don't know whether it's because I'm angry or I'm sad.
Doojoon is right. I know. Sora is doing all of these because she loves her mother. Just that simple.
But... Sora, you know you're hurting me by leaving me.
But... Sora, you know you're hurting me by leaving me.
Tell me what to do now.
[Sora's POV]
I sigh and lean back to the seat. The plane will take off in ten minutes. I think I will try to get to sleep in the journey.
I look through the window. I guess they have read my letters. Let me guess, one of them will try to call me but then I'm on the plane, so I have turned off my phone.
I tried to finish everything last night when they've already slept. I took all the pictures and printed them in the middle of the night, writing the letters carefully.
I know I shouldn't leave like this. I should have said it in person to them.
But I can't.
I'm afraid that I will hesitate to leave if I meet them in person. They are really important to me. Of all my clients, they are the only one who showered me with care, love, and warmth as a family.
Before our relationship become deeper and closer, I think it is the best for us to end all of our relationships, so no one will be sad.
It didn't take long to make the decision; of course I will choose my family. The research project will restrict me from my usual activities, I know it as well. That's why I need to leave as soon as possible. That's why I need to convince myself for leaving everything I had at Korea. To live on a brand new life.
Ah, I start to cry. I wipe away my tears slowly.
I take my iPod and plug the earphone on my ears, trying to find a ballad song for me to hear.
I stop when I hear the melodies. It's BEAST.
It's their first present for me.
Ajigeun (Yet).
"Ajigeun ibyeoreul mot baeweoseo
Ajigeun seupeumeul jal mollaseo
Ajigeun geudaega nae gyeoteul tteonado
Mideo jijiga anha nunmuri heulleo naeriji anha
Ajigeun ibyeol norael deureodo
Seulpeuji anha geojitmal gata
Ajigeun geureonde jogeumsshik neukkyeo jyeo
Nunmuri goyeowa naege dashi dorawa"
I still haven’t learn to say goodbye
I still don’t know how sadness feels like
I still don’t get the fact that you left my side
I still don’t believe it; Tears won’t come out
Rather than a sad song, this song sounds like a lie
But I can feel little by little Now my eyes are getting teary
So please come back to me
When the song ends, another tear has rolled down again.
I will miss photography.
I will miss Korea.
I will miss Gikwang's sweet smile.
I will miss Yoseob's simple care.
I will miss everything about BEAST.
I close my eyes, muttering to myself.
"Take care. Goodbye."
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