58 Mom
So Sweet, So Simple
[Gikwang's POV]
Sora is spacing out again. She does it this whole day since our interview this morning. She is looking through the window as if there is something interesting outside of the building while we are waiting for Yoseob.
Yoseob is going to have the recording for Immortal Song 2 while the rest of us will go to do other recordings as well.
"Sora," I approach her, "are you alright?"
She looks at me, having her usual expresionless face. She shakes her head slowly and then turning her face to look at the sky again.
Is Mina bothering her again? Sora told us this morning that Mina has returned to her house because she still need to go to her classes today and Sora doesn't want to bother her activities.
Before I could talk to her further, Yoseob is already standing next to me with his bright smile.
"Sora, are you going somewhere after this?" Yoseob asks.
"No," Sora answers with her monotone. "Why?"
"I'm going to do the recording for Immortal Song 2. Would you like to come?" Yoseob gives her a wide smile.
"I don't think I suppose to go with only one member for the individual activities," Sora states out.
"You don't need to take photographs," Yoseob convinces her. "Just watch my performance since the other members can't watch it."
"He's right," I smile. "Go and watch his performance for us."
Yoseob grins at me as if he is thanking me for my support. I know that he really wants Sora to watch his performance; I want her to watch me as well. But then I don't have any right to demand her to watch me.
"Well," Sora hesitates.
"Please," Yoseob gives his best expression to beg. "Please, just this one."
Slowly, Sora nods.
[Yoseob's POV]
We arrive at the studio for Immortal Song 2 recording. Sora follows me to the studio and I tell her to watch me at the audience seat.
Ah, I hope I will perform at my best state. For her. For my mother.
Today's mission is to sing a song that made me want to become a singer. I picked a song titled Mom, originally by Ra.D.
I remember that moment. At first, my mother opposed the idea of me being a singer. Honestly, it is not an easy path to take.
One day, I heard this song and, after I heard it, I promised that I would sing it for my mother. I promised to sing it for her, simply because the song was really good and I really like it.
But then when I told her my promise, for the first time, my mother started to support me. At first, she worried more, but she said that she would wait for me.
She told me that she would wait for the day when I would sing this song for her. That's why I want to sing this song. I will sing this song.
Well, besides that, this is a ballad song so I think Sora will like it. I want to show her that I can make her happy with my own way, even though maybe the President will not support my decision for being in a relationship for now.
I never had a girlfriend before. I don't even remember about my first love. Maybe it's a little bit too fast; it's only four months and I fall for her this deep. But I'm serious.
I know she is in dilemma state. Gikwang still loves her; I know that from the way Gikwang looks at her. I feel sorry for Gikwang but I want to show him that I can make her happy too.
I touch my lips with my finger. Last night feels like a dream to me. Her lips. Our kisses.
Even my heart is beating faster when I remember it.
"Let's go," a staff calls me and I nod, leaving the make up room to start the recording.
IU walks pass me, giving me her usual smile. I smile at her; I almost forgot that she will be on this show as well. I hope Sora won't think about anything wrong.
[Sora's POV]
I take a seat at the audience seat, waiting for the show to start. Yoseob has told me about the main idea of the show and they will perform special stages before the actual mission.
IU is the first singer to perform. She sings a really sad yet lovely song, Good Person, originally by Toy.
After IU, one by one of the participants of Immortal Song 2 shows off their skills. Yoseob is the last participant.
Yoseob comes up to the stage with white tuxedo and polkadot bow tie. He flashed me a smile before he starts singing.
I think I know this melodies. I don't have it in my iPod playlist but I've heard it somewhere before.
"Cheoeum dangshineul mannatjyo
Mannaja majaureotjyo
Gibbeoseo geuraenneunji
Seulpeoseo geuraenneunji
Gieokdo naji anneyo
Deuril geoshi eopseotgie geujeo batgiman haetjyo
Geureogodo geuddaen gomaumeul mollatjyo
Amugeotdo moreugo sarawanneyo
Eomma
Naye eomeoni
Wae ireoke nunmuri najyo?
Gajang sojunghan
Nuguboda areumdaun
Dangshineun naye
Naye eomeoni"
The first time I met you
I cried as soon as I saw you
Was it because I was happy?
Was it because I was sad?
I don’t even remember
Since I had nothing to give, I just accepted
Even so, at that time I didn’t know how to be thankful
I’ve been living without knowing anything
Mom
My mother
Why are tears falling like this?
The most precious person
Who is more beautiful than anyone else
You are my,
my mother
I gasp.
This song is Mom, originally by Ra.D.
How can I get the e-mail out from my mind now?
My mind is wandering the whole day and I can't even focus at my works.
My mother only sent me an e-mail once when I won my first photography competition. She gave me a simple congratulation via e-mail. That's all.
When I received the e-mail last night, my heart skipped a beat.
"Sora,
I know you will be really surprised to receive this e-mail.
I know you will be really surprised to receive this e-mail.
I can't sleep yet tonight, thinking of my little daughter. I know that I shouldn't tell you this early about this news but, after the diagnosis, I think you must know about my condition sooner or later.
Remember the night I visited the hospital when Junghwa was there because of the accident? I had a medical check up there. It was my third medical check up and all of them gave me the same result.
I am diagnosed with brain tumor. They are working for the causes and the therapy but I refused to receive the treatment. I kept working at the research laboratory as usual until I collapsed a week ago.
My condition is worse now. I've told Sohyun two days ago and I told her that she couldn't tell you before I decide to.
I am looking through an album when I write this e-mail. It's your first photograph collection album. I like it. You are really talented.
I'm sorry for never loving you like what I do to Sohyun. To Mina. Sohyun told me before. Ironically, I thought you hated me, Sora ah.
When you moved out from the house, I didn't want to let you go but since I want you to be happy, I kept silence.
I always buy the new photobook of yours. I even bought the one you took for BEAST, the idol group. You are working for them now, aren't you? Sohyun told me.
I never said this. I think I'm just not good with words when I meet you in person. I love your gifts. Thank you for remembering me and your father's anniversary. We love your gifts.
Sora ah... Are you happy now? Are you doing good there?
It's already midnight. I don't think you're still awake this late.
I don't even know why I'm writing this e-mail. You can delete it after you read it if you want. I will take the treatments as soon as possible, so don't worry. You are a sweet girl, I know.
Maybe your father will contact you, to tell you to take over my position here at Paris for the research because you are the one who can continue it, compared to your sister.
Just ignore him. Do what you love. Be happy.
Please take care of yourself. I think I'm going to sleep now.
I don't even know why I'm writing this e-mail. You can delete it after you read it if you want. I will take the treatments as soon as possible, so don't worry. You are a sweet girl, I know.
Maybe your father will contact you, to tell you to take over my position here at Paris for the research because you are the one who can continue it, compared to your sister.
Just ignore him. Do what you love. Be happy.
Please take care of yourself. I think I'm going to sleep now.
I love you.
With love,
your Mom"
I cried. I cried after I read the e-mail.
I didn't even sleep last night. How could I sleep after I read the e-mail?
I want to call her but I can't. I hesitate. I want to call my sister, hoping that she will tell me that it's not true. But I'm too afraid, afraid that my sister will tell me that it's all true.
I didn't even sleep last night. How could I sleep after I read the e-mail?
I want to call her but I can't. I hesitate. I want to call my sister, hoping that she will tell me that it's not true. But I'm too afraid, afraid that my sister will tell me that it's all true.
Tears start to roll down again now when I hear Yoseob's voice, echoing with his best effort. He is singing this song to his mother. Even though he has his smile on his face, he sings this song truly from his heart. I notice it when his sound was wavering when he started the song.
"Cheoeum dangshinye moseubeun gieokhal su eopjiman
Majimak moseum maneun jungneunnal ggajigieok hagetjyo
Nae modeun mam dahae
Saranghamnida
Eomma
Ireumman bulleodo
Wae ireoke gaseumi apeujyo?
Modeun geol jugo deo juji mothae
Aswiwohaneun dangshingge
Na mueoseul deuryeoyahalji
Eomma
Naye eomeoni
Wae ireoke nunmuri najyo?
Gajang sojunghan
Nuguboda areumdaun
Dangshineun naye
Naye eomeoni"
Though I can’t remember the first image of yours
Just your last image, I will remember till I die
With all my heart
I love you
Mom
By just calling your name
why does my heart ache like this?
You’ve given me everything, you can’t give more
To you who are sorry because of that
what should I give?
Mom
My mother
Why are tears falling like this?
The most precious person
Who is more beautiful than anyone else
You are my,
my mother
I sob uncontrollably. This is the first time I cry like this.
My heart is aching.
I feel really hurt, more than even when Changmin kidnapped me. I put my hand on my chest, clutching my own shirt.
It hurts.
I look down to the ground while Yoseob is leaving the stage. I can hear some audiences are crying as well.
I don't even bother to hide my tears.
I cry.
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