41 Lie
So Sweet, So Simple
[Gikwang's POV]
"Can I kiss you?" I ask her.
Silence.
My heart is beating faster yet it's aching. The scene of Sora and Yoseob singing together appears again in my mind.
"I...," she mutters. "I..."
I force a smile and pat her head, "You don't need to answer it."
There it goes; my heart aches again. Sora looks at me in the eyes, not saying anything. She looks worried.
I lean closer and kiss her forehead gently. I inhale her sweet scent; I still have a few days until she will give me her decision, whether we will continue our relationship or not, but I feel like I'm going to miss her. Really miss her.
"Don't worry," I pull away and smile at her. I hope she doesn't notice it's only a fake smile.
"You're sad," she gives me an apologetic expression. She reaches out her hand and touches my cheek.
I take her hand and kiss it softly, "I will never kiss you."
I let go of her hand. She looks surprised with my words. I speak out what I'm thinking, "Not until your heart is mine."
[Sora's POV]
I look at the clock. It's already past midnight.
Ugh, I can't sleep. Gikwang's face keeps appearing when I close my eyes. His eyes looked really sad, as if he's holding his tears back when he talked to me.
I was really surprised when he asked whether he could kiss me or not. Why did he ask it all of a sudden?
I get up from my bed and walk to the table. I turn on my notebook, visiting my official website and my account randomly. I stop when I read Gikwang's last tweet.
"It's my mistake for not making you love me more. Sad song."
It's a part of the lyrics I sang at the karaoke, Mistake.
Suddenly a thought crosses my mind.
I think I know what's happening to Gikwang.
I think I know what's happening to Gikwang.
His doubt. His anxiety. His sadness. It's all because of me.
I rush to my room and grab my phone. I took a deep breath before I search Yoseob's name on my contact and call it.
"Uhmm..." he responds. He has fell asleep.
"I need to talk to you."
[Yoseob's POV]
I wear my navy knit hat and white jacket. I rush to the rooftop with the elevator, holding my phone on my pocket nervously.
Sora just called me to meet her at the rooftop. It's really weird; it's already past midnight and she refused to meet me in our main room. Is it something urgent?
I open the door and find Sora is standing, gazing to the night sky. She wears my white scarf around her neck and black jacket.
"Hey," I approach her and she turns to look at me. Her hands are in her pockets, probably because of the cold weather.
"Sorry to disturb you," she says with her usual expressionless face.
"No worry," I smile at her. Even though I was really surprised when I heard her voice on the phone, my heart was going to jump because I was really happy. "Anything?"
She stares at the ground. I tilt my head, wondering what she is thinking right now. She looks distracted by something.
I reach out my hand to pat her but, for my surprise, she notices it and steps back. I pull away my hand because of her sudden movement. She looks at me and frowns.
"Tell me something," she finally speaks up.
I rub my head, "Ne?"
"What am I to you?" she asks.
Silence.
I'm really surprised by her question. Why? Why does she ask it now? Does she know what I'm feeling for her?
"Does it matter?" I try to keep calm. I look back at her. My heart is beating faster, worrying about her next words.
"Yes," she answers me. "I'm your little sister, right?"
My heart skips a beat. I remember I did say that to her. Come to think of it, I remember now that she cried when she told me about Gikwang's confession to her. I was the one who told her that she and Gikwang would be a great couple.
Great, Yoseob. You're such a fool.
She stays silence, waiting for my answer. Should I lie to her?
I cough a little, "What if I say no?"
She bites her bottom lip; she is worrying about something now. I take a step forward but she quickly steps backward.
"Then you must say yes," she says firmly.
I clench my fist when I hear her words.
[Sora's POV]
I'm afraid he will answer that I'm not his little sister. I don't want to hear him saying that I mean someone special, more than only a little sister for him.
Please, just say that you see me as your little sister, Yoseob.
"Do you want me to give you a sweet lie?" he mutters.
I close my eyes. That's not what I wanted to hear. I admit it; a part of me wants him to say that I'm special for him, but my brain keeps telling me that I'm not supposed to think of him as someone who loves me.
Did I just say that?
No. No. Yoseob doesn't love me,
"Just say yes," I mumble clear enough for him to hear, looking away from him.
"Do you want me to lie?" he asks again, taking a step closer to me.
I step back again. I don't want to feel his touch. Not now. I'm afraid that I will blush because of him. I'm afraid I will lose my control over myself if he's too close to me.
I guess I've known it all along since our last conversation at this rooftop.
"You don't know what you've got until you lose it."
His words were not a mere quote. His feeling was represented by those words. I didn't want to admit it; I was trying to convince myself that there is nothing special between us.
But when Gikwang looked at me before he told me to take a rest... I can't erase his expression from my mind.
Gikwang is hurting because of me.
Yoseob takes a step closer again and I steps back again, but this time he pulls my hand so I can't step back anymore. He puts his left arm on my waist, making me closer to him.
His face is only inches away from me. I'm sure I'm blushing like mad right now. I look away from him but he forces me to look at him with his right hand.
"Do you want me to give you a fiction...," he whispers, "or a fact?"
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