47 What If
So Sweet, So Simple
[Yoseob's POV]
"That's a great performance," the MC states and I clap for myself, smiling as the gratitude.
"So come to think of it, do you guys have any girlfriend now?" the MC frowns, trying to be serious.
"We don't have one," Doojoon answers honestly. "We're focusing for our first full album."
"So it means you will have one after the album is released?" another MC jokes and we laugh.
Well, actually I think Junhyung will be the one who have a girlfriend. His relationship and Goo Hara from KARA is really interesting. I think they will be an official couple sooner or later.
Ah, I hope both of our agencies will approve their relationship. It's good to see one of our members is happy to find someone to love.
While the MCs are joking, I secretly take a look at Sora. She is looking at her camera; guess she is checking the results of the taken pictures.
I wonder if I can ever be an official couple with Sora.
[Sora's POV]
The topic of girlfriend is kind of interesting to hear for fans. Unfortunately, once again, I'm not their fan. As long as I know, they don't have girlfriends since there is a rule from their company.
Unless they are prepared enough, they can't build a deeper relationship with someone else, especially if the girls are idols as well. But I think Junhyung will make the first step ahead since sometimes he left the apartment to meet Goo Hara from KARA group.
I'm praying for the best for Junhyung since he is really kind to me as well.
"What about Gikwang?" the MC asks, looking with curiosity.
"I don't have one for now," Gikwang laughs. "I don't think that there is someone who will get interested of me for now."
"Try to ask it to your fans!" another MC blurts out and the other members laugh.
"I hope all of you will find the best girls in your life," the MC says and gives them a smile.
"So, Gikwang, what do you think about other idols nowadays?" they get back to the first topic.
Gikwang smiles and answers, " I think Super Junior hoobae is a really great and talented group. They've debuted in 2005 and their popularity keeps growing till now."
"Ah, Super Junior," both of the MCs repeat Gikwang's choice.
"I guess, you have pick a song of them to sing today, don't you?" the MC asks, ready to see Gikwang to perform.
"It's not one of their singles or new songs, but I think it's a really beautiful song," Gikwang stands up from his seat. "I hope we can do our best."
The other claps while Doojoon and Hyunseung get up from the sofa. Three of them take the microphone and ready to perform the song.
I tilt my head, waiting for the melodies to come.
I wonder what song they will sing.
[Gikwang's POV]
"Thank you," I murmur to one of the staff who hands me the microphone. I take my position between Doojoon and Hyunseung.
It's true that I think Super Junior is indeed a great idol group. All of their songs are great but I need to pick a song to sing together.
I tried to listen all of their songs since the first album till the last when this interview script came to us. I finally found the perfect song in the third album.
I know it's not the best song that suits me well since it's a ballad; but I think it's beautiful, the lyrics are great, and Sora loves ballad.
I hope she will enjoy this performance.
I clear my throat when I hear the melodies and sing the very first line,
"Ssayuh ganeun shigandeuleun
amado yokshimeul booleuna bwayo
Uhjehboda oneul duh appa jingul bomyun.. oh girl"
It seems as though
The accumulated time is being greedy
Seeing as it hurts more today than yesterday.. oh girl
Doojoon looks at me and then continues with his part,
"Nareul hyanghan miso ehdo manyang hengbokhal soo ubssuhjin gun
Teukbyulhami ubtdaneun gul ara bulin hoo bootuh yutjo, baby"
It was after I realized that I couldn’t be totally happy
With that smile towards me, that there was nothing special, baby
Ah, I hope I can't shove away that kind of thought. I want Sora to be happy and I do think like that once in a while; I miss her by my side.
We sing the refrain together, holding the microphones firmly,
"What if geudehga nal saranghal gutman gatta"
What if it seems like you’re going to love me
Hyunseung sings his line,
"Jogeum gidarimyun nehgeh ol gutman gattasuh"
Because it seems like you’re going to come to me if i wait just a little
I hold my microphone, singing the refrain part together again,
"Ilun gidehlo naneun geudel dduhnal soo ubjyo"
With these anticipations, I can’t leave you
Hyunseung looks at the camera and sings his line,
"Geuluhkeh shigani ssayuh apeumi dweneun gul jal algo isseumyunsuh, oh girl"
Even though I know that as time accumulates, it becomes pain, oh girl
These are the thoughts I couldn't say to Sora. I'm still hoping that, maybe if I try a little bit more, she will love me back. But will I end up hurting in the end?
I take a glance at Sora and flash her a smile,
"Nehgeh man jooneun gurago midgo shippuhjineun miso yutjiman
Anin gugetjyo geulehdo hokshina hamyunsuh"
Even though I wanted to believe that that smile was just for me
It probably isn’t, right? but still just maybe
I can't help myself to smile ironically; knowing that Yoseob is probably the one who will receive her very best smile soon.
Here we go for the refrain part again,
"What if nehga geudel munja mannassut damyun"
What if I met you first
Doojoon sings the next part,
"Ani chalali na geudehleul mollassut damyun"
No, if I didn't know you
I hold the microphone again and sing together with Hyunseung,
"Ilun senggakdo nehgen amoo soyongi ubjyo"
These thoughts are useless
Doojoon continues again the refrain part,
"Gipsook hageh bakhin geudehlaneun shigan sokeh imi salgo isseuni"
For I'm already living in the deeply set times of you
Come to think of a flashback, Sora did meet Yoseob first before she met me.
Ah, I've been driven by the emotion of this song, haven't I?
Ah, I've been driven by the emotion of this song, haven't I?
Three of us take a deep breath and continue until the last part of the song,
"Shiganeh moogeh mankeun sarangeun duh hehgago
Apeumi mooguhwuhdo
Geulehdo unjen gan nal saranghal gutman gatta
Jogeum gidalimyun nehgeh ol gutman gattasuh
Ilun gidehlo naneun geudel dduhnalsoo ubjyo
Geulukeh shigani ssayuh oneuleul mandeun gul jal algo isseumyunsuh, oh girl"
Even though love increases as much as time’s weight,
Even though pain is heavy
Still, I feel like you’ll love me
Because it seems like you’re going to come to me if I wait just a little
With these anticipations, I can’t leave you
Even though I know that the accumulated time has made today, oh girl
Yes, the more days passed, the more I love Sora. There is a part of me keeps saying that maybe she will love me if I wait for her, if I give more effort.
Should I?
Once again before the song is finished, I smile to Sora and whispers the last line,
"Oh~ lady"
"Thank you," Doojoon bows to the camera. Both of me and Hyunseung bow as well and then we sit back again.
I freeze when I look at Sora; I was trying to check her reaction after my performance. Maybe she would clap or smile for me, but she doesn't do that.
She is wiping her tears.
[Sora's POV]
"Oh~ lady"
By that last word, a single tear escapes.
Aish, since when did I become such a crybaby?
I quickly wipe away my tear but the next tears have rolled down even before I can control myself. I stare at the ground so the others won't notice that I'm crying.
I was taking pictures of them when they're doing their performance; that's all.
But when they reached the last refrain, when my camera was set on Gikwang, when Gikwang was looking directly at me, my heart ached.
He looked so sincere, singing the song with his best. But why am I crying?
"Now that is beautiful!" I can hear the MC says. "I wish we have more time to talk with BEAST. Well, it's the end of our interview today. We hope your first album will be succeed."
"Thank you for coming," another MC bows to them.
"Thank you for coming," another MC bows to them.
The interview will be over soon.
I stand up and rush to outside; there's no way I will let they notice my tears. What can I say to them?
I rush to the nearest bathroom. Lucky me, the bathroom is at the corner of the building so there is almost no person will go there unless you're one of the staff or the guest star for the recording.
A hand stops me right when I'm going to turn to the bathroom.
My tears have stopped but I'm sure it is clear enough that I've just cried.
"Sora," Gikwang holds my hand, "What happened?"
I look away from him. He noticed. He knew. He came for me.
Another tear rolls down again.
Gikwang wipes away the tear gently with his thumb. He sounds really worried, "Tell me what's wrong, Sora."
Why does he come for me? Why did he notice that I was crying?
I close my eyes, trying to control myself but I can't. It's the first time I cry because of Gikwang.
It's Gikwang who let me go for my happiness but it's him who is standing in front of me now, trying to comfort me.
He pulls me into his hug and pats my head, "I'm not supposed to hug you, I know and I'm sorry. It's alright if you think this is in brotherly way. But please don't cry. It hurts me to see you cry."
The tears keep rolling down.
His words are true.
His hug is sincere.
His love is real.
I hug him back and let my tears keep rolling down on my cheeks.
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