42 Fiction
So Sweet, So Simple
[Yoseob's POV]
I hate it. She is making a distance with me now. The more I try to get closer to her, the more she moves back. I can't take it anymore.
I grab her hand and circle my hand around her waist. She looks away from me with her blushed cheeks but I want her to see me in the eyes. I touch her chin with my fingers so she finally looks at me.
"Do you want me to give you a fiction or a fact?" I whisper slowly to Sora.
She holds her breath, not letting a single word comes out from her lips. Her face is just inches away from me. She puts her palms on my chest; it's her best try for blocking me become closer to her.
"I-is it that difficult for you to just say I'm your little sister?" she blurts out.
"Do you really think of me as your brother?" I ask her back.
I let go of her face and move to the white scarf on her neck, removing it slowly and let it hits the ground, "Do you really think you love Gikwang?"
By those words, she pushes me away and covers with her hand. She is running out of breath.
I clench my fists; it hurts me to see her like this.
I can lie to her easily. I can say to her that she's nothing more than a little sister for me. I can say to her to be happy with Gikwang. I can say to her that I'm only teasing her all these times.
But my heart doesn't allow it.
When I looked at her eyes when we're singing together at karaoke, I know there is a special place for me in her heart. From what I know about her, she is doing this because she is desperate enough; desperate because she realized that Gikwang will be hurt when she realizes her own feeling... to me.
"I'm still Gikwang's girlfriend," those are the words from Sora to stop me when I'm trying to step closer to her. I do stop when I hear it.
This is the first time I hear she admitted that she is Gikwang's girlfriend. My heart aches when I hear it.
"Then why?" I try to control my emotion. "Why do you meet me now?"
Bingo. She flinches after I said it.
"Look," she sighs. "I just want to make it clear between us. You're the one who told me that you would treat me as your little sister. You're the one who told me that I and Gikwang would be a great couple. You're..."
"Then I did mistakes," I cut in. I'm too impatient to wait for her next words.
"We're not going anywhere if you're keep doing this," she shakes her head. She is still blushing.
"Keep doing what?" I step closer to her again and, I was right, she steps back. I keep doing that until she reaches the edge of the building; she can't step back anymore because of the fences.
"Enough," Sora covers her ears with her hands. "Don't say anything."
I look at her. Why does she try so hard to avoid the truth? She knows how I feel to her; that's all I know now.
"So you better live with my lies?" I hiss.
I don't want to see her like this yet I want her to realize her own feeling. She doesn't answer me back.
"Fine," I turn my body so my back is facing her now.
[Sora's POV]
I cover my ears with my hands; I don't want to hear another word from Yoseob. The doubt in my heart keeps growing more and more. I've made a decision to stay with Gikwang; he loves me and he cares for me truly.
But Yoseob's words make me realize that I'm not only a little sister for him. No, Sora, think of him as your brother! Think of him like you think of Hyunseung!
"Fine," I hear Yoseob says. I open my eyes and he already turned his body so I can't see his face. His hands are inside his pockets now.
"Let's pretend that this conversation never happen," he says, making my heart skips a beat.
He walks to the door but then stops and looks at me directly. My heart feels like it is stabbed by a dart when I hear his words.
"The more you keep your own fiction, the more you will hurt yourself and Gikwang."
He leaves, closing the door behind him.
Before I could even control it, a tear has escaped. I start crying.
I wipe away my tears quickly when my phone vibrates. I take it from my pocket and read the new text message.
"If fiction makes you happier, it's fine."
It's from Yoseob. I bite my bottom lip; my heart is aching worse than before. I thought talking to him would make me feel better.
But I was wrong.
[Yoseob's POV]
I hit the send button and step out from the elevator when the door is opened. I walk back to our room but I don't return to my room.
I throw myself on the sofa in the main room, leaning comfortably. I close my eyes and the figure of Sora keeps appearing in my mind.
"Is that what you want?" I whisper to myself.
I take out my phone but there is no reply from her. I open my Twitter and type a tweet.
"Not sleep yet. Fiction is happier. Is it true?"
I put my phone on the table and close my eyes again.
I want to cry but I can't. I want to scream but I can't. Who am I trying to blame? Sora? Gikwang? Or myself?
[Sora's POV]
I look at the time on my phone. It's already 2 AM and I'm still standing on the rooftop. I've picked up the white scarf from the ground and wore it again.
I'm leaning to the fence carefully, looking at the sky in silence. I don't feel sleepy at all.
Yoseob tweeted around an hour ago, right after he left me her.
"Not sleep yet. Fiction is happier. Is it true?"
What should I do now?
I know that I do have feeling for Yoseob but Gikwang's love for me is true. I know that Yoseob thinks of me more than a little sister but how can I hurt Gikwang?
I close my eyes and then say to myself,
"A lie told often enough will become truth."
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