(Double update ., yeahhhh ) 

.    . I'm just gonna .     .  “ he whispered in a low voice, that even someone standing next to him wouldn't be able to make out , as he pointed at the door . 

   “ .   .    .  Your grandparents house is up for sale “ jae again  right when lay's hand landed on the door handel spoke. Lay , like earlier slowly turned his shocked face back to the man by the window . What he heard was so shocking to him that he even had some type of hope to see a  reaction from the man who said it but jae still standing face to the window just went on smoking .    His eyes out the window to the wide garden. 

    Having signed in for his inheritance, weeks ago,  jae had been in charge of that big palace like mansion lay grew up in that jae calls hell. 

   “ .   .    .  I will tell my lawyer to contact you when they settle on a price , if you wanna buy it “ jae added and it was as though he was throwing little sharp straight daggers aimed right at lays heart that with no remorse went through piercing it hard . That house was their family house , passed from their grand grand parents . It's  their family's legacy .  .   . It's not just a house for lay , its his childhood . All his memories .   .  All the birthday  , all the good and bad times .  .   That house is his home .   .   .  His everything and now jae is selling it. 

     “ .   .    .  It's not on the market yet , once it's up your dad might rush to get it so get your money ready “ jae added sending another set of daggers to attack . As if he knew how heartbreaking his words might be for his brother to hear jae didn't even once turn his eyes to glance at lay .   .   The cigaret burning between his fingers were what was keeping his nerves extremely calm and not to forget  the pills he just swallowed on an empty stomach. 

   “ .   .    .  Your selling the family home?” lay asked, since his brain wasn't  able to process what jae just had said and needed to hear it again to be reassured that what he heard was true. Just the broken voice he heard from his back was enough for jae to remember that his brother has a different connection with that house than him.  

    “ .   .    .  My account said it might reach around 30 -40 million for the whole purchase “ jae ignoring the question he was asked turned his cigarette off against the astray on the counter and started walking back . 

   “ .   .   .  If you get your assets liquidated and reach that , am sure you can buy it on credit “ jae added brushing his hair back  and walking straight ahead to the big fridge by the other corner of the room .The new cigarettes , he started weeks ago, have started making him thirsty .  .  Even after one smoke he had to drink something.

    “ .    .     . I told him not to put it on the market if you wanna buy it “ opening the fridge in one swing he pulled one of the green fruit juices lined up in front . As his hands busied themselves on opening the bottle his eyes glanced up at lay  .   .     .    .  Behind all the bruises jae couldn't tell if lay was mad or just plane confused glaring at him like that without even blinking . 

   “ .      .  Huh “ jae sighed as he started taking sip after a sip of the cold mango juice , his eyes staring back at lay. 

    “ .   .   .  Never forgive “ has been his motto since he figured out why he was hated so much growing up. He had vouched to never forgive any of them no matter how much they apologized for ruining him. He had made the promise to never forget on his mother's grave. He has worked hard throwing his life away to be able to have one chance just one chance to avenge everything these people did not just to uim but his mom which he doesn't even have a glimpse memory of what she looks like.

       He has strived , in all the they made him go through for the sake of revenge .   .   .  To make them pay a price he had paid a huge one that had destroyed him to a point of being dependent on pills to even talk about anything of the past . .   Buy now .    

   Now that he has the power, now that he has gained that advantage he had always dreamed of . Revenge seems to be something not as easy as he thought he could do  .  .  Its proving to be so much harder than the hellish life he passed through. There was no other than hyeon and lay to blame for that either.  His heart that was filled with all that hate and resentment had someone's occupying it now .   .  A new type of emotion has take over making him even doubt if any of it was worthed. 

       No Matter how much he loved her , one thing he didn't like hyeon for was the fact she turned his life completely around showing how much his life would have been exciting and enjoyable if he had never had those people as his family. Just as much as she made him forget of the pain she made him even more mad at the people he holds responsible for everything that's wrong.  Now he's stuck in this middle ground not able to forget and forgive or hate them just as much as he use to. 

    She along with his brother she drags around have left him more anxious and confused about what to even do. That doubt of forgiving is always getting even fainter as he meets his brothers .   .    .  Seeing lay does nothing than make him hate the fact that he can't  hate lay. It always hurts jai that he can't even imagine doing what he has planned to do to lay's mother to her son.   .    .  Lay just like hyeon is making it hard for jae to keep the promise he made. 

They are turning his two decades of lifeless life worthless and for that they are making him hate nobody else but himself. If he forgive now , what does that make him?.  How can he forgive them .    .    Not just for his sake but for his mother's sake . How could he forgive these people for her ? .    .       H0his life would be meaningless then .    .      .   All the stuff he went through would be for nothing .    .     .   His life destroyed if he forgives it would be just him that has to live this meaningless life while all go on with theirs.  Even Though none noticed it it was this thought that have turned jaes dosage from 2 pills a day to 3. Every time he thought about it jaes anxiety seems to take over faster than ever.  

    “ .   .     .  Now i remember why I am not fond of you “ lay with a defeated sounding voice spoke .   .   .  Looking at his brothers #black face had made him even more hurt and upset about the whole thing. 

    “ .   .    .   Good, cus it would be weird if you were fond of me “ jae replied back taking another sip and a quick smile his brothers way as he started walking away from the open kitchen . 

      “ .    .     .  Your an “ lay shouted . He knew he had no say and no control over what jae was gonna do to his home. It was legally his and jae could do whatever he wants  .    .     . and considering how much of a messy war he is in with the whole family and the their dad , lay should have known this was to come .  He knew the only reason jae is probably selling that house was to hurt and anger the family . 

    When the news breaks , lay could imagine the whole family is gonna freak out , even his mom might have a heart attack let alone his dad that's on the line. He's selling their family away , that's how much that hows means to the JK’s.

      “ .   .    .    Hu.    “ jae couldn't  help but smile hearing the cursing start .  In a weird way he had missed his brothers curse words that would be directed at him every time they met which was rare. He knows why his brother curses at him .  .   .

No matter what .   .   . Even if it destroys him , he has to keep his promis for his mother's sake .

   “ .    .    .  Are you really out to kill abuji?” lay with a confidence that came outta nowhere took the steps towards the couch jae was sitting at . His eyes more fiery than ever he stared down jae who with his usual black look just stared back at lay drinking his juice . 

     “ .   .    .   How can you go from being that shaken to hear he had a heart attack to this .  ..  “ lay with a disgusted look pointed at his brother . His legs stopped their walk , standing two steps away from the glass table separating them. Lay was right, from last night to now something had changed in jae .   .  Total of 4 anxiety pills and 2 sleeping pills .   .   .  That's what had made him look this clam , sitting there glaring back at his furious brother. 

    Jae has sat the whole night , staring out into  the dark garden past the window infront his bed .   .    .  Not even for a minute did his brain shut down as he sat there. He had so much to think about . 

       For once not even joon was there to comfort him when his anxiety hit and he dragged himself to the bathroom locking himself up for hours .   .    .   He had sat under the shower till sunrise .    .    .   When the pain was piercing a hole through his heart all he could think about was hyeon .   .    .  The anxiety that's getting worse by the day is the only thing that seems to be making him scared to death to even be with hyeon. 

       Forget the rest and just live happily with her .   .   .   If he could that would have been what he would do by now after throwing everything away. But life is not that easy is it .   .   .  Just the realization that he can't even be fully happy even after hyeon or their baby has been what brought the tears down and the second attack .    .     .  There will forever be a voice for the people he wished were his family that would have loved him back for how much he loved them. 

           The fact that he has to live with this kind of life .   .  Hiding in bathrooms trembling like a helpless animal seconds away from losing its life ,  holding in his crys not to bother and scare everybody else around him .   .    .  That phetatic jae is what's gonna destroy him. 

    “   .    .    . Do you really wanna do this hyong ?” lay asked taking the last steps and standing right by the table his brother's legs were crossed and sitting atop on . 

    “ .    .    . Do you really wanna see us dead ?” lay asked and his voice had all the emotions that jae never wanted to hear . Even the half dozen pills could make him take this one in sally and jae turned his eyes away from his brother heart tugging eyes that stared deep into him; reaching the places jae doesn't even wanna address, ever.  He didn't waste a second as he placed the bottle on the table and jumped up and brushing his hair to his face to hide his eyes he started walking to the window . He needs some air .   .   Actually he needs a smoke and sending his right hand to his pocket he pulled one out lighting it up in seconds .  The look he just saw on his brother's face was a look that will keep him up for nights just remembering it . 

  One .  .  Two .    Three .     The Silence was back aagian as jae standing by the window just went on nervously inhaling his nicotine. 

   “ .   .    .  you're not the only one who can jump of a in bridge you know “ lay shouted out but what he did  after was what startled and shocked jae out of his being . 

 BAMM    .   .  Flew the bottle smashing the big window on jaes right . 

   As his heart jumped a beat and froze turning him numb .  The shattered pieces of the window in one motion landed on the floor .    .    .  Right next to his leg

     Everything stopped then .  . As jae slowly turned around sending his dismayed eyes to lay .   .  His whole body was still in shock as is his heart , that started beating slower than regular. To his surprise it was a deadly furious and angry eyes of lay that were waiting for him . He had never seen lay like this .  .    .   He has never seen this side of lay .   . NEVER. And he doesn't want to see it ever again either . Now in decades of knowing lay he really is scared of his little brother . He is scared of what his brother might do . Scared that lays mother's genes might be finally showing up in lay ? .   . 

     Before any word was exchanged between the two it was hyeon who jumped in , when they heard the loud BANG noise all had dropped everything they were doing and ran up , hyeon being the fastest one was the first one that ran into  the room to find the brothers staring at eachother , with jae standing inches away from a totally shattered french window. 

   “ .  .  Huh .   .  “ all standing by the door breathed claiming their heart down . They had all thought of the worst and looking at the situation looks like the brothers are ok so everyone took a deep breath. 

    “ .   .    .  Thank god “ mrs kim whispered placing her hand over her chest and sighing .   .  She wasted a good second or two before she asked of the chef , sungi and eun to follow her out leaving the three behind . and all still dazed by what they saw just followed her command and left the room. They knew hyeon could handle those two rascals who from now should never be left alone . 

        “ .   .    .  Huh “ hyeon went on taking her deep breaths  her heart that had stopped when she heard the noise hasn't  fully started working yet .   .   Her shocked eyes fixated on jae who she hasn't seen since the weird dinner last night, she just stood there like she was frozen .  Not even for a second did she glance at lay .   .   . Her eyes were busy taking in the look on jae’s face she had never ever seen but jae didn’t give her that much time as he quickly brushed his hair to his face and turned his eyes away . He bent down and picked the cigarette had dropped from his fingers. She knew something was off .  Not just the look on his face  but jae in general doesn't look good. 

     “ .   .    .  What happened?” hyeon knowing by his body language that jae wouldn't  tell her anything she turned her eyes to lay who had already started walking away towards the door . 

    “ .   .    . Lay ?” she took a step grabbing lays hand before he passed her and left the room . Jae’s eyes hidden behind his messy hair didn't miss her hands gently grab on his brother. From the questioning look she had when she glared at him as she ran into the room , the look she was now giving lay looked way more gentle and genuine. 

     “ .   .    .  What happened ?“ hyeon leaning to the side to follow lays eyes he was trying to hide asked but lay didn’t look like he would say anything either.

      “ .   .    . JAE ?” hyeon tightly holding on lays hand shouted jaes name , somehow in seconds turning her eye to the serious questioning look again. 

    “ .   .    .  The window is broken “ jae with a small smirk replied pointing at the window with his right hand holding the new cigarette he inhaled in and just pulled away from his lips. Her eyes got even more furious and deadly and even behind the drop of his hair he could make out her deadly stare that didn't waver even after his reply . Pathetic   .   .  His seriously becoming more pathetic by the day .   .  How could be this much in love with her to be scared to even look at her right now .   How much of her fool he has turned that it hurts even more to have her shout at him than what lay did.

      “ .    .    .  Huh .  “ hyeon sighed as she waited for seconds then minutes for either of them to say anything but both were silent . Neither the man whose hand she is holding firmly nor the one her eyes were staring at said anything or looked her away . 

      “ .   .    . Jae if you do not fix this before this child is born there is not gonna be any ‘US’  “ she gave jae’s heart a reason to stop it’s beating and jae who had been nervously avoiding her eyes brushed his hair back sending his shocked eyes to her . One look was what he needed .  .    One look was enough to tell him if what she said was a seriously  threat and it was.  It wasn't  just him though , even lay with a stunned look had turned to  hyeon by his side .   , unable to believe what she just threatened jae with . 

   “ .   .   .  If you don't fix this lay I would never ever speak to you again till i die “ turning the deadly stare to the one next to her she gave the little brother a shocking threat as she dropped her hand down from his hand. 

      “ .   .    .  I don’t wanna be alive to see one of you die so if it takes me disappearing from your lives to fix whatever this is “ she pointed at the shattered pieces on the floor 

    “  .    .    .  So be it “ she glanced at lay still who was still glaring at what she threatened jae ,  then at jae who unlike his brother let a small smile escaped between his lips as he turned his eyes away from her . Before she opened to say anything else jae was out of the room .   .  Both hers and lays eyes had followed him as he took really quick steps out the room . 

     “ .  .    Jae .  .  “ hyeon wasted a second or two before she followed him out 

   “ .   .  Jae .   .    “ she called out again but the man walking away in front of her didn't  turn back nor did he reply .  , hi