After the performance, while everyone was cheering, and I realized that Iwas a terrible person, because I had brought a very famous idol onto a stage that was supposed to be for fangirls, and now everyone would be disappointed for whoever came next. It wasn't the right thing for me to have done. If I wanted to perform with Eunhyuk, we should have had our own stage. For me it was okay, because I wasn't that well-known, but to bring Eunhyuk up there...

I felt bad about it the rest of the day. Eunhyuk kept trying to comfort me, saying that it was the feeling of the moment, but I was having none of it. I didn't deserve to be comforted. I did something wrong; I would pay for it.

After staying a little while to support everyone's performances to try to make up for what I'd done, I realized that Jonghyun, Amber, and Sunny had all disappeared. Jonghyun and Amber were probably participating in the foam sword fighting pits, and who knows where Sunny had gone off to. Since she'd put the blue wig on, people had left her alone. She looked less like herself. Much like me. So she'd probably gone to hang out somewhere.

"So where do you want to go?" Eunhyuk asked me.

"Oh my gosh! LARP!"

"Larp?" 

"L-A-R-P. Live Action Role Play. I wonder if anyone's up for Macross!" I grabbed his hand and yanked him towards the hallway, ready for role-playing. 

We spent a good several hours running around the convention center, pretending to hate random people, and avenge each other (I was playing Kagome, from InuYasha, despite my Sheryl costume, and Eunhyuk had to save me), and ending up with a dramatic sword fight, in which I was kidnapped by a guy dressed as Koga, and Eunhyuk had to come save me.

When it cracked midnight, the guys role-playing with us had to go home, and we went to the food tables for some Japanese-style dinner, and then decided that we actually had to go back to the company at some point. 

"I can't take you seriously in that outfit," Eunhyuk complained.

"Hey, are you insulting Sheryl Nome?"

"No, no, that's not it. It's just... you don't look like our Minsung. It bothers me."

"Are you saying that I'm prettier than Sheryl?"

"Yes."

I felt my face redden, but I poked him in the side to make him shy away, despite all of the people who were looking at us and whispering. "Well, Eunhyuk-oppa is much ier than Alto-kun. Alto-kun can't dance."

"Neither can you."

I scowled at him, then started singing, "I love you but I don't know how to dance, don't know how to da-ance..."

He stuck his hand over my mouth to shut me up, so I his palm, causing him to jerk away, rubbing his hand on his shirt. "Aish, so gross!"

"You think that's gross, you didn't taste your hand! Aiyoo, so disgusting... I'll be brushing my teeth for days to make it go away..."

"That's your own fault for me!"

"I'm sorry, Oppa."

"Don't apologize so quickly! It's scary!"

We passed by the empty tables, where the various Jpop groups had been doing their fansignings.

"Why did you introduce me to that girl?" he suddenly asked me.

"Keiko-san? I don't know, I thought you'd like her. She's pretty, and sweet. Very feminine. Pretty close to your age, too. Why, don't you like her?"

"I do, I guess. But I'm more comfortable with Minsung."

I felt a shiver up my spine, and the insane urge to drag that smooth, y bastard to some dark corner of the convention center. But that was quite indecent.

"I wonder where Sunny, Amber, and Jonghyun are? We'd better go look for them- we have to leave together..." I said quickly, hurriedly getting away from the topic.

I didn't get far, though. Eunhyuk grabbed my wrist, halting my escape. "Minsung-ah..." he waited until we were in an empty hallway, still holding my hand. "Minsung-ah, this was really fun, don't you think?"

I shuddered, my nerves soaring. "Yeah, it was great."

"Do you want to do something like this again sometime? I mean, just the two of us, not the others. They're good people, but..."

"J-just the two of us? Like... me and Oppa? Like..." Like a date?!

"Would that be okay? I don't want you to feel awkward..."

"N-no, that's fine! I love spending time with Oppa! When?"

"How about Monday at two? Meet me at Namsang tower?"

Namsang tower is a total date location. "Oh, okay, sure! I'll check with Jung Ah- I mean, my manager-eonni- if it's okay. But I think so."

I watched as his shoulders relaxed. "That's great. Now come on, let's go find the others. They're probably taking pictures with fangirls."

When I got home, I pulled my hand-made Sheryl Nome earrings out of my ears, gently setting them onto my bedstand. Finally, I removed the pink wig from my head, and then pulled the pins out of my hair, letting it tumble down to its full length, one bit at a time. I looked up in the mirror, trying to see the me that Eunhyuk had said looked even prettier than Sheryl. 

I didn't see it. I saw a square face framed by limp, dishwater-blonde curls that hung just above my waist. I saw eyes the color of a granite countertop, ringed by black eyeliner to make whatever was there, stand out. I saw a short girl, just under 156 centimeters tall, who wore giant high heels to bring herself up to the standard height. I saw a moderately pretty girl who used makeup and clothing to make whatever good characteristics she had dull out the parts that weren't so good. But I didn't see a girl who would be prettier than the exaggerated features of an anime character. 

I heard a knock on the door, and then the beeping of the key-card lock, signifying that the door was opening. Must be Jung Ah.

"Eonni, I'm sorry, I..."

Jung Ah stepped into the room, and I saw that her eyelids were ringed by dark circles, even darker than mine. "You'd better get to bed soon, Minsung. You have a pretty busy schedule tomorrow."

I turned around, untying the big ribbon around my dress. "Are you okay, Eonni? You look exhausted." Which was pretty substantial, considering I'd been separate from her for most of the day. Normally when she looked this tired, it was because she'd stayed up most of the night, taking care of me.

She smiled weakly. "It's nothing. Good job, by the way."

"Good job on what?"

She held up her smart phone, to a video that showed me up on stage in my Sheryl costume. "People are talking about your diversity. Talking about how you're able to bring yourself down to the fangirl's level. That's the important thing. People are talking about you, and not so much in a negative way. You're really a heart-charmer, aren't you?

I looked back at my pale reflection in the mirror. Was I? I turned back around and walked over to her. "Eonni, what happened? You're avoiding the question. If it's about me, I think I have a right to-"

"-It's not about you," she answered, her voice clipped. And then she sighed. "I'm sorry. It's a personal problem. I didn't want to ruin your good night by telling you."

"Why, what happened?" I asked, sitting down on the bed and letting KyuMin jump into my lap.

She sat down on the bed next to me, rubbing her eyes. "My little sister's been skipping classes. When my father found out, they got into a huge fight. And then she ran away. We still haven't been able to find her."

She looked like she was ready to cry. I, personally, felt terrible. I hadn't even known that she had a little sister. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pulling her close. "Eonni, you can think about yourself sometimes. Don't always do what's best for me. I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty tough. If  have to, sometimes I can stand hearing some bad news."

She smiled weakly, pulling away. "Thank you, Minsung." She stood up, patting KyuMin on the head. He mewed, and then her hand. "Now get some sleep. Don't you have somewhere to be on Sunday?"

Sunday? Oh, right. Mimi's birthday. But wait, how did she know about that?

"Did you know that I was going to Henry and Zhou Mi's dorm tomorrow?"

"Huh? No. I meant that you have to visit Panmunjom tomorrow. Why, what did you think?"

"Nothing. I have a free schedule in the afternoon on Monday, right?"

"Of course. It's another break in filming while they wait for the editors to catch up. Why?"

"Is it alright if I go out that day, then?"

She looked at me suspiciously. "Alright. But don't forget, you have dance practice with Kai in the morning."

I nodded. "I won't forget."

 Sunday night, in the vocal training room, I set my ukulele back in the case, and shuffled the sheet music of the song. I heard a knock on the door, and looked up. 

It was Henry. "All finished?"

I nodded, sliding the papers into a folder. "It took a little while. You gonna come with me, then?"

"Can I see it?"

Grudgingly, I pulled the papers out of the folder and held them out to him. He grabbed them from me, his eyes skimming over the words and notes on the page.

"Wonderful as usual, Mel. Not as good as it would have been if you would have let me help, but..."

I snatched the papers back, glaring at him. "Modest as usual, Henry Lau."

"Don't call me by my full name. You sound like my mother!"

"I've never met your mother."

"She loves you."

"But I've never met her..."

"Doesn't matter. You remember the Christmas present I gave you?"

"The electric keyboard? Yeah, I remember. I use it at home, when I'm trying to make the background music."

"Yeah, that was from my mother."

"But why...?"

"I have no idea. I guess she didn't really mind the idea of having another daughter."

"That makes me feel bad... Henry, I need to meet your family! My own family has met them, but I haven't!"

He shrugged. "Maybe when you come with us on our tour."

I stopped in the hallway, staring at him. "Eunhyuk said that, too."

"Said what?"

"That I'm going with you on your America tour."

"Well... you are, aren't you?" he asked, like I was supposed to know. I just stared at him. "What, no one told you? You're opening for us when we go on tour. They're making the third song on your album into an English language single."

"What, 'Black Magic'? Wait, why do you know this, and I don't?!"

He shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know. I thought you did. They told us about it a while ago."

Without hesitation, I yanked my phone out of my purse and hit the number one speed dial (number two was Min Hee. Henry was three), and called Jung Ah.

"Eonni! Why didn't you tell me that I was opening for SuJu's tour?!"

"Who told you about that?"

"Henry. Sort of."

"Oh, great. Well, we hadn't guaranteed it yet. We still have to organize it with your filming schedule and practice schedule. We didn't want to tell you until it had been set in stone..."

I frowned, then sighed. "You know what? I'm not dealing with this right now. Eonni, don't worry about it. Focus on your sister. I have a party to go to! Come on, Henry! We have to go find Song Qian!" I hung up the phone, then grabbed Henry's wrist, so we could go find Victoria.

"Ha! I win! Mimi, give me that card!"

I hadn't even been aware that there was a Chinese version of "Apples to Apples". Although, I guess I should have known. If there was a French version, there could be a Chinese version.

"It's your first card," he laughed, mockingly holding out the card to me. Translated roughly into English, it meant "malicious". Described me pretty well, I supposed.

"Shut up! It's because you guys play this game all wrong! You pick the cards too literally! It's no fun at all!" I cradled the card in my hands, glaring at them. I know- wonderful way to spend a birthday. Just me, Henry, Zhang Liyin, and Victoria, sitting in a circle on the dorm floor, playing a card game. 

"Then how are you supposed to play?" Victoria asked, picking out her green card.

"You pick the card that makes the least sense. Like... 'refreshing' and 'toe fungus'. Because it's funny. You know what I mean, Henry?"

"I've never played this game."

"I shoved a bite of cake in my mouth, then flicked a chunk of frosting at him. "You poor child. You lived a deprived life. And besides, I'm still not that good at Chinese, okay?!"

Zhou Mi laughed, then leaned over and patted me on the head. "Niuwang is blushing."

"I am not!" I cried, even though I could feel the heat rising into my cheeks. I threw a random card into the pile, still blushing.

"Who put 'insects' as annoying?" Victoria asked, holding up the winning card. 

Zhou Mi grinned and took the card away from her. "I did. I was thinking of Queen Be."

"YA!" I shoved him over, then scowled and crossed my arms, refusing to look at him.

"Not to mention that means I won..." he added, laying his cards out. 

"Are we giving presents away now?" Liyin asked.

"Oh! Right!" I cried, pulling the folder with the sheet music out of my purse. "This is your present from me, Mimi." I held it out to him with both hands, looking nervously at the floor.

He took it from me, then opened it and pulled out the music. "Minsung... you wrote this? It's in Mandarin!"

"I'm sorry if it sounds like a little kid. I'm still working on the language, and everything, but... I know that Mimi said that he wanted to have more singing opportunities. So... I wanted to give you a song to sing. I'm really sorry if it's not that good..."

Before I knew it, he'd reached over and pulled me into his embrace. "That wasn't a bad thing, Niuwang. I was just surprised. This is really mine?"

I nodded, heat rising to my cheeks. "Just for Mimi. A solo. If anyone makes you turn it into a group song, I'll kill them myself. It's just for you."

"What if I want to turn it into a duet?" he asked, his arms still wrapped around my shoulders.

I thought about it. "That... no! Just for Mimi!"

"What if I want to sing it with you?"

I scrambled out of his arms, my cheeks beet red. "That's... well... it's not..."

Zhou Mi laughed. "It's really easy to fluster you, did you know that?"

I glared at him, retreating towards Victoria and Liyin, where it was safe. "I've been told that before."

"It's not a bad thing, Niuwang. I just wanted to say it. Thank you for the song. I'm glad that you support me, singing solos."

I shrugged, my cheeks still quite warm. "I'll support you all, whether you want to sing solos or become a semi-professional soccer player. Just don't let it get to your head."

He smiled, that wide, beautiful smile that melted my heart every time. "I won't. I promise."

Henry looked back and forth between the two of us, and then suddenly remarked, "are you two done? Or are you ever going to open my present?"

After everything, and a few more Chinese lessons, I started to leave. "Hey, Minsung, do you want to get coffee with us tomorrow afternoon?" Liyin asked, obviously representing herself and Victoria.

 I shook my head. "Normally I would, but I have... plans."

"By 'plans', she means 'date'," Henry blurted, earning him a glare.

"WHAT?!" The expression on everyone's faces was priceless. "You mean a REAL date? With a guy?"

I smiled, already thinking about the next day. "No, Song Qian. It's a date with a girl. Yes, with a guy! What do you take me for?"

Before I knew it, she had stood up, and was hugging me so tightly that I couldn't breathe. "I was so worried that this day wouldn't come!" 

I pushed her away, laughing. "I'm leaving," I replied, shooting one last 'happy birthday' smile to Zhou Mi.

I arrived at Namsang tower around half an hour early, I was so excited. I'd spent a ton of time getting ready that day, with a fresh layer of fingernail polish (even though i wasn't supposed to until after the drama was over), and my hair half-pinned behind my face, not to mention the number of times I'd changed outfits before deciding on the dark purple knee-length dress I was wearing. 

I was on a date. I was on a date, a real, true, not-arranged-by-the-company date. If it was just platonic (though I hoped not), it was a date nonetheless. AWESOMESAUCE!

I plunked my down, to wait for my date. I half-worried that it might turn out the way it had with Sungmin, but I knew that I wouldn't find out if I didn't try. And I was quite eager to try. I mean, with Eunhyuk so great at body rolling, it was always in question what else he could do with those hips. Oh, those primal teenage drives for erse activities. I felt bad for Eunhyuk, because I really did salivate like a dog whenever he started dancing.

That, of course, would have to wait until he arrived, though. Until then, I decided to sit back and relax. Or try, at least.

Ten minutes went by. No biggy- I was there early, anyway. I started to count the number of people that walked by, and whether they were single or in a couple.

Ten more minutes later I was playing tetris on my phone. I broke my record twice before looking at the time. Two o'clock exactly. I looked around. No sign of Eunhyuk. I decided to wait for five minutes, then text him to ask if he was running late.

Five minutes after the text was sent, I'd looked at my phone at least once very five seconds, with still no response. Where was he?

I started taking random selcas, making weird faces, then posting them on my Instagram. I grew bored of that quickly, moving on to whistling as I people-watched.

Within the space of twenty minutes, here is what I saw: ten couples making out, three breaking up, four on their first date, an old couple out for a nice stroll, a group of teenagers on a school trip, an, finally, a vendor selling hot ddukbokki (but that last one was just because I was starting to get hungry and cold from waiting).

I waited, and waited. I lost count of how many times I looked at the time. Before I knew it, two o'clock had turned to three. Still no response to the ten text messages I had sent. Okay, I know he's an idol, but this was getting ridiculous.

I played with my hair, fixed my makeup, flared my dress, all for when he arrived.

By four p.m. I had reorganized my entire purse, taken thirty selcas, and had been recognized by someone who had given me a free deck of cards in exchange for an autograph. I had then proceeded to win at Solitaire five times without cheating.

Still waiting. I was starting to worry. Okay, I'd been worrying for quite a while, but it was becoming intense. Why wasn't he answering his phone?

I waited for five hours in total before I decided to go to a nearby cafe for a rejuvenating cup of tea. If Eunhyuk came, I would come back out, but at the moment I was freezing, bored, and a bit sick of waiting.

My phone rang. I yanked it out of my purse, answering immediately after reading the caller I.D.

"Yeobusseyo?! Eunhyuk-oppa, where are you?! It's DARK already!"

"I know. I'm so sorry, Minsung-ah. I wanted to call you earlier, but I couldn't. We had to turn off our phones for practice, and then it ran later than I thought, and then the main director came, so we had to start everything all over. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'm going to be able to make it. Maybe some other time?"

I swallowed painfully, closing my eyes. "Yeah, that's fine. It's not your fault- no need to be sorry. I'll just go home, then. Don't work yourself too hard, okay?"

"You're not mad?" he asked, sounding like he was almost ready to cry.

"No, I'm okay. You know I can't be mad at you. I understand- these things happen. You're an idol. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Thank you, Minsung. You're really the best. I can't believe you're not mad. You should be. I would be." I heard voices in the background before his voice returned. "I have to go, Minsung. Talk to you later. I really can't believe you're not angry. Bye!"

Neither can I, I thought as I hung up the phone. He was right. I should have been angry. but I wasn't. I really did completely understand. I was cold and tired, and had been stood up, yet I wasn't at all angry at him.

I'm not sure how, but somehow the five hours I had waited in the chill april air had cooled off both my fangirl infatuation and my crazy teenage hormones at the same time. I wasn't mad. y bastard that he was, he was also an absolute sweetheart. Quite impossible to be angry at. If I'd had anything but platonic feelings for him, though, I would have been furious. But I wasn't.

I was just cold.