I dropped the last of my bags in the doorway, finally taking my shoes off to enter the new dorm.

It wasn't the biggest of places, at least not as nice as the SuJu dorm, but it was better than the one-room, one-bathroom dorm that Min Hee and I had shared. This one had a central living room, a bathroom, and-- thank heaven-- an actual kitchen. You have no idea how amazing it is to have your own real stove, oven, and cupboards until you have nothing to cook on but a hot plate for a year and a half. 

I wandered into the bedroom, sitting on the bed and sliding my purse off of my shoulder as I looked around it. About the same size as the bedroom I had shared with my sister back in Wisconsin. But that had been a big room, and this one had housed five teenage boys. I felt bad for SHINee, all sharing this one room. But then again, that was shortly-after-debut life. SM especially. 

The room actually had a closet, unlike our old dorm. I could hang up my mass collection of clothes, finally. I wriggled on the bed, feeling the mattress. It was fluffier than my previous one-- it looked like the mattress had been replaced recently. I guess they didn't want me to immerse myself in whatever had happened in that bed before I'd received the dorm. It was wider than my old one, too, so I was less likely to roll off of it in the middle of the night, like Min Hee had that one time. 

It was nice, really. An amazing home for a single woman living in Seoul to have, actually. Normally, something like this would be extremely difficult to come by. Still, I couldn't get over how profoundly empty it was. Everything was wiped clean. The walls were newly whitewashed, and the floors bare. The bed was the only furniture in the whole place, and all of the surfaces stripped down to their most basic forms. 

Even more disturbing was the silence. My old dorm had such terrible sound resistance that I had been able to tell whenever a member of EXO had been clipping his toenails. No, I'm not kidding. It was the weirdest thing ever. 

I'd never actually lived by myself. Back in Wisconsin, I had shared a room with my sister, and then when she'd moved out, I'd let Patrick come into my room whenever he'd liked. When I came to SM, I shared the dorm with Min Hee, along with all of the duties of living alone. But now I was alone. All by myself. 

It felt extremely weird to me. Eerie, even. The silence was screaming at me.

I opened my laptop and plugged in my speakers, so music washed over the dorm. Still, it was really strange. I needed... I needed to fix this place up. Make it mine.

I spent the next several hours putting up my personal paraphernalia. My Super Junior fanarts, all in the correct order from left to right, then my posters, and all of my pictures with FASE, John, and Min Hee. I layered my sheets and blankets onto my bed, filled my closet and dresser with clothes, covering the top of it with my skin care products, makeup, and nail polish. I filled the cupboards and refrigerator with my food, then making myself some ramen. I sat down to eat it, looking at my work.

It still felt empty. Okay, okay, I admit it. I was lonely. It'd only been a few days since Min Hee had left, and I already missed her like crazy.

"Is there a payment plan for this couch?" I asked the saleswoman, pointing to a decent plush couch of about 500,000 Won.

"Yes, Miss. We have several plans."

"Yes, will the ten percent a month plan be available?"

"Yes, Miss."

"When can you deliver it?"

"It should arrive within the week."

I left the furniture store with the promise of a more decorated apartment.

I had the entire day for this-- filming would begin the day after. I strode at a leisurely pace down the street, humming to myself the officially recorded version of Super Junior's newest, all-English song, written and arranged by myself. They were busy with the music video that day, ;eaving me by myself to wallow in my loneliness.

Now that I was done with my furniture shopping, perhaps I could stop by the market for some groceries, or maybe go to the mall for some clothes. No, no, Melissa-- or Queen Be, I should say-- you do not need another pair of high-heeled boots. Just because you're an actress now doesn't make you rich. It just means you're not SuJu's housekeeper anymore. They've already replaced you with--

"Mew! Mew!"

Uh-oh. Loneliness is a weakness.

At a knock on the door, I got up, running to answer it. I opened it a bit, atanding in the doorway.

It was Tiffany. "Hey! I just came to welcome you to your new dorm! What's... with your hair?"

I patted the top of my head to remind myself exactly what was there. "What, this? Oh, they're hair curlers. I put them in after I shower, and when I wake up in the morning, they dry in nice curls. It's for my character. They told me not to cut my hair, and to make it nice and curly, so the image fits the character. But if I heat curled it, my hair would be a frizzy, destroyed mess by the fourth episode, so the director okayed this. Pretty authentic for the time period, too, actually."

Tiffany shrugged, then suddenly looked down at my feet. "Oh my goodness! When did you get a kitten?! It's so cute!"

I looked down to see my frightened little kitten clinging to my leg. I picked him up, cradling his tiny, fragile self in my arms. "Today, from the animal shelter. Come on in."

I closed the door behind her, then set the kitten down in the litterbox. I was trying that's where he needed to go potty in.

She sat down on the floor next to him, gently his back. "He's so cute. Wait, is it a boy or a girl? Did you name it yet?"

"Boy. And... um... yeah..."

"Well what's his name?"

My cheeks turned red. "It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. But that's what got put on his collar, so..."

"Tell me. It can't be that embarrassing."

"His name's KyuMin. You know, like... well..."

Tiffany burst out laughing. "You are such a fangirl, honey! I should've known it was something like that."

"...don't tell Kyuhyun-oppa. Or Sungmin-oppa."

"I won't. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die. They'll find out anyway, though. Eventually. So why'd you suddenly want to get a kitten?"

"...it's terrifying to live by myself. I thought maybe getting a pet would make it better."

"Well, you couldn't have picked a cuter one."

"I always did have a weakness for fluffy black and white cats. And orange tabbies. But KyuMin's just black and white."

"So, how do you like your acting career so far, honey? Tell me everything. Is there anything else you need to do for your character? Like what you have to do with your hair?"

"Well, I haven't even started filming, so there isn't much to tell, yet. mostly it's just little things. Except that I'm not allowed to paint my nails. And I have to trim them regularly. It's depressing."

"Aw, that ... I know how much you like to paint your claws. Is there anything good?"

It only took a second of thought for me to start blushing again.

"Uh-oh. I see red in those cheeks. Come on, spill!"

"One of my co-stars is Lee Hyun Woo! I just about died when I found out."

"Oh, is there a bit of a crush, there?" Tiffany asked suspiciously.

"...maybe. He's just so cute! Almost as cute as KyuMin!" I added, picking up the mewling kitten as emphasis.

"Oh my gosh! Mel has a crush outside of Super Junior! Who ever would have guessed?!"

"Hey, I have plenty of crushes outside of Super Junior. Like Minhyuk-oppa from CNBlue, Jaejin-oppa from F.T. Island, Gikwang-oppa from B2ST..."

"I love how you don't even deny it. Honey, you're shameless."

"You've known me long enough to know that already," I laughed.

"That's true, that's true. Oh! I almost forgot! I got so excited because of KyuMin..." She handed me the gift bag she'd carried in with her. "This is for you. A housewarming present."

From the bag, I pulled a magnetic calendar whiteboard.

"It's for your schedule. Trust me, it's a complete essential for an idol. You just stick it on your refrigerator and fill it out. Saved mylife at least ten times. I thought it would be good, since you're debuting, too. Just fill in your filming schedules, and you're good to go!"

I smil;ed and hugged her, honestly pleased. It was just as good as the whiteboard name plate Ali and Eliz hadgiven me to put on my door, that said "Hello, my name is _________." and I could erase it and write whatever I wanted. Like, one week I could put "Queen Be", and the next week I could change it to "Your Supreme Ruler." Tiffany's gift wasn't quite as entertaining, but it made up for it in usefulness. "Thanks, Tiffany. Really."

"Oh, speaking of schedules, have you met your manager yet?"

"Manager? But I'm just an actress..."

"Hey, actresses get managers, too."

"I... don't really know. No one told me about having a manager..."

"Well, you should probably ask about that, because without our manager, Girls' Generation would be-"

Just then the door buzzed, interrupting Tiffany. I ran to get it, peeking to see who it was, first.

"Jung Ah?" I gasped as I opened the door. "What are you doing here? I thought you were..." I trailed off, not wanting to insult her by finishing the sentence.

"Not exactly," she answered, stepping inside. "I know, I was one of the first two trainees to be eliminated, so I'm not a trainee anymore. They didn't think I was good enough for that. They had something else for me to do. They asked if I'd settle for being an artist manager, and of course, i agreed. So while you've been spending this past year learning how to sing, dance, and act, I've been learning how to be convincing and believable over the phone, how to balance schedules, set dates, and handle paparazzi, scandals, and advertisements. Actually, the past months I spent following around four different managers, doing little stuff for them as an intern, and observing their methods. After that, they assigned me to be your manager!"

She bowed, then again to Tiffany, who just smiled and said, "See, honey, I told you they'd give you a manager."

"Ah, our star is here! Boys, meet our Rosaline Connor, Queen Be. Queen Be, this is..."

"Lee Hyun Woo," I finished for him, feeling my cheeks heat up. "From To the Beautiful You. I... I loved that drama."

"Oh, you know me? And you speak Korean!" Hyun Woo remarked.

"Of course I speak Korean! I've been a trainee for SM for a year and a half!" I snapped, then corrected myself. "I-I'm sorry, Sunbae. I'm just really nervous. I've never acted for the camera before. Well, except for dorky music videos I made with my friends. But that's totally different. And I'm worried... when I'm working with such great actors... that I'll mess up..." I stared fixedly at my shoes, my cheeks flaming. 

"Well, isn't she just adorable? The newbie, Queen Be," another man commented, coming up to us. "I was worried about just how well a new girl would do for this drama. I hope you do well."

Ouch. Thanks. Well, you get some good, you get some bad. 

"This is Choi Hyuk Soo. He's your other co-star," the director explained.

"The one who plays the North Korean soldier?" I asked. "That's good, then. I'm happy to work with you both. I'm so excited!"

"We're doing some test scenes today, to make sure the three of you can act well together. Then tomorrow is the press conference about the drama. You're already gaining a lot of attention because of this, Queen Be. International attention, even."

"Seriously?! I mean-- is that so?"

"It's not that surprising. You're a non-asian who decided to work for a Korean entertainment company of her own volition, and now are acting in your first drama," the director noted, "it's an interesting topic. Hopefully you do well, though."

"I'll do my best, sir. With my two sunbaes," I added, trying not to smile creepily at Hyun Woo. It was hard. I always wanted to smile, just by looking at him. He just made you feel happy inside.

"Kaja, Queen Be," he grinned, tapping me on the shoulder. "I think you'll do well."

One press conference, ten days of filming, and a whole bunch of sleepless nights later, I was finally sleeping in my own bed, finally understanding why the SuJu members always came back to their dorms at random parts of the day and automatically collapsed in their beds for hours at a time. 

I breathed in a whole bunch of fur, gagging on it. "KyuMin... KyuMin, that's my face, you silly kitten!" I picked him up, holding him in the air and scowling at him. He mewled at me, and I couldn't help but soften. "No sleeping on mummy's face, okay? I love you, dear, but I can't breathe."

I poked him on the nose, and put him back down. Silly kitten. 

KyuMin. KyuMin. ...I'm so bored... but I'm so tired... I'm so lonely... but Jung Ah will yell at me... I'm SOOO lonely... I'm not used to being alone for this long. A little visit won't be a problem, right? Right?

I grabbed my keys and disappeared out the door.

I wonder if my card will still work, since i don't work here anymore. Or if it still reads my thumbprint, I wondered, looking down at the lower Super Junior dorm's door. Well, it doesn't hurt to try. If it doesn't work, I can just knock. I slid my card through the reader, then pressed my thumb against the sensor. Security at the dorms' doors had always been pretty high-tech. Not quite as extreme as EXO's, but you know how that is. 

Amazingly, I heard a click, and I let the door swing open.

"Oppadeul? Eodieyo? Is anyone home?" I called as I stepped inside.

"MINSUNG!" Eunhyuk ran out, grabbing me by the arm and yanking me further into the apartment before i even had my boots fully off. "You have great timing! Can you tell this ahjumma what she did wrong with our meal?"

"Huh?" I couldn't help but feel confused, looking down at the dining room table, where the members crowded around.

"I thought the health tea would be good, since they haven't slept in two days because of the music video reviews," the new housekeeper explained, "But they won't eat their dinner. I don't know what i did wrong."

I looked down at the tea, then picked up Eunhyuk's cup and took a drink. "Well... Shindong-oppa, Eunhyuk-oppa, Kyuhyun-oppa and Leeteuk-ahjusshi... don't... like... bitter things."

"Didn't I tell you she'd know!" Kyuhyun shouted, happily laughing.

"Oh... I'm sorry. I didn't..."

"That's okay, ahjumma," I comforted, "They've just been spoiled while I was their housekeeper. I'm sorry, I didn't realize the adjustment would be so hard for my replacement. They just started taking for granted that I knew what they liked and didn't..." I thought for a moment. "here, I'll just tell you all that I can think of off the top of my head. Do you have a pencil and paper?"

"No, Miss. I'll be right back." She came back relatively quickly with a notepad and a pencil, waiting patiently.

I began. "Okay, let's see. Well, like I said, Eunhyuk-oppa, Shindong-oppa, Kyuhyun-oppa and Ahjusshi don't like bitter stuff. Donghae-oppa and Eunhyuk-oppa are pretty much opposites. Eunhyuk-oppa really loves sweets, and Donghae-oppa doesn't really like them. Donghae-oppa loves seafood, and Eunhyuk-oppa hates it. They both really love mlik, and Eunhyuk-oppa is obsessed with strawberries and strawberry milk. Kyuhyun-oppa doesn't like vegetables, so if you put them in his food, you have to cut them up really small so he can't taste them."

While i took a gasp of breath, I heard Kyuhyun yell, "YA! Were you putting vegetables in my food the entire time, and I never knew?!" 

"I'm sneaky that way, Oppa. I just wanted to make sure that you stayed healthy. Anyway, is there anything else? Oh, the turtles in Yesung-oppa's bedroom are not for eating. Kyuhyun-oppa and Sungmin-oppa tend to drink wine in their bedroom late at night, and they'll often sneak food in there, too. Okay, that's all I can think of off the top of my head." I smiled at her while she wrote furiously, then was thrown off-guard by Eunhyuk hugging me around my shoulders. 

"That's our Minsung! She just knows everything about us! We already miss you so much!!!"

I laughed, separating myself. "Hey, be nice, Eunhyuk-oppa. Ahjumma is just doing her best. She's doing fine. considering you guys, I think she's doing a great job, because the dorm isn't completely trashed yet." 

I bowed to her. "Thank you for taking care of my oppas, Ahjumma."

She bowed back, saying, "I hope you do well in your drama, Queen Be. I'm watching it as soon as the first few episodes are released." She nodded and went into the kitchen, leaving me with the members.

Sungmin grabbed my arm and pulled me down, so I was sitting next to him at the table. "Minsung-ah, we've barely even seen you! how are you? And filming, and everything?" he asked.

"Sorry, I've just been so busy. The director says I'm doing great for a first-timer. I still feel a little silly sometimes, but mostly I just feel tired. Everything is a jumble in my head. They asked me if I could write a song for the drama, but when I get home all I want to do is sleep. But overall, I'm pretty happy with it. I can't wait for the first episode to air, so i'll know what people think, but I'm nervous. i mean, what if it doesn't do well?"

"You'll do great, Minsung-ah," Siwon stated, his mouth half-full of food. "Donghae and I were like that when we first started. weren't we, Donghae?'

Fishy looked down at his food. "Um, yeah. Me too."

"See? You'll be fine." 

"Thanks, Siwon-oppa. That actually helps, really. I missed you guys. It's only been two weeks, but..."

"Awww... we missed you, too," Sungmin cooed, squeezing me. 

"It feels like since I'm a rookie, I have to do a billion more things than you guys do. It's crazy."

"Don't worry, Ahjumma. We were much busier as rookies, too," Kangin replied.

"But hey, filming is going great. I'm feeling pretty good about myself, and the first episode comes out in two weeks! Oppadeul, how did the music video filming go? When's it being released?"

"End of January," answered Leeteuk, "It would be earlier, but the company's still setting up the promotion schedule. It's taking longer because we're promoting in the United States."

At the mention of "United States" the rest of the members got really excited, practically cheering. I couldn't help but laugh with them. Somehow, through my own effort, I'd managed to make at least two of my dreams in Korea come true. One: debut as an artist for SM (minor). Two: somehow help make it possible for SuJu to release a song in English, for my home country (major).

I watched them chat, laughing with them and telling them stories about what the United States was like in the Midwest, where I'd lived. Things like birdsong and wildlife, the hills in Missouri, and the view from the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. 

I was in the middle of describing the flooded Mississippi River when my phone buzzed. "Uh-oh..."

"What? What is it?" Donghae asked, trying to read the text over my shoulder.

"I'd better go... Jung-ah is having a conniption fit."

"Jung Ah? Who's Jung Ah?" asked Eunhyuk

"What's a Conn..ipu...shun?" Donghae asked at the same time.

"My manager! And it's a conniption fit. Basically she's having a heart attack out of panic."

"Is she dying?!" Donghae asked, his eyes wide, "Does she need to go to the hospital?!"

"Um, no, Fishy... she's not actually having a heart attack... that was just a joke..."

"Oh..."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to confuse you. But I should probably go before she decides to hunt me down. Oh! I almost forgot. I put my cheese in your refrigerator. I was going to pick it up while I was here, since I now have a working refrigerator."

"You'll cook for us sometimes, too, though, right? Because you love us?" I heard Kangin call from the other room as I went into the kitchen. I smiled at the Ahjumma, opening the fridge and yelling "For special occassions, maybe!"

I looked into the fridge, smiling as I pulled out the dairy drawer.

Empty.

"Ahjumma, what happned to the cheese that was in here?" I asked, worried.

"Oh, the cheese that was in there? Was that yours? One of the members ate it a few days ago. He said it was very good, even though he couldn't read the packaging. I did wonder why there was foreign cheese in here..."

"Wait, ONE OF THE MEMBERS ATE MY CHEESE?!"

"Yes, Miss. The eccentric one. Oh, what was his name? Hee...chan?"

"HEECHUL?!"

"Ah, yes, Miss. That was the one. He said it was very delicious."

"He ate my cheese? All of it? But... but... that cheese is so hard to get... and it'll be months before I'm able to get any more..." I was ready to cry.

I stomped out of the dorm, cursing quite loudly in Spanish. "Voy a matarte, Kim Heechul!" I'm going to KILL you, Kim Heechul!