I was still a bit in shock when JiHoo pulled me aside before I could leave the room. I had to tell Henry. I had to ask how he was. Maybe Eunhyuk or Donghae would be happy to hear it. No, I shouldn't bother them. I guess I should call Tiffany...

"Minsung, can you come here tomorrow after your vocal training lesson, so we can practice?"

"Huh?"

"Tomorrow. Come here. After vocal training, so we can practice more. For the performance, you know?"

"Oh, yeah, right. See you tomorrow then, JiHoo. You were awesome today. I'm really happy you were my partner." I smiled at him, still thinking about relaying the news to my Sunbaes.

He seemed genuinely happy, a smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, see you tomorrow!"

"The sky doesn't look too good," I muttered to myself, stepping outside after school. I looked at my watch. "I still have some time before vocal training. I can still be there by nine if I stop by the dorm to get my ukulele."

It was already dark, and the streets were starting to get kind of creepy. It made me glad for the leaf-shaped pendant around my neck. Unlike Tessa, I hadn't lost my hidden knife.

I looked carefully around the streets and made my way down towards the dorm, humming "y, Free & Single" to myself. It was a darker street, so I kept the tune going in my head to prevent myself from getting scared. 

Then, completely out of nowhere, a bar door opened and a man practically fell on top of me. He must've been drunk as hell. Okay, time to push off this random...

"Kangin-shi?!" 

 He was extremely heavy, but I had to make sure. I was hoping I was wrong.

I wasn't. When I moved out from under him, he hit the ground with a thud. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Kangin-shi, are you alright?!"

"My name's Kim Youngwoon..." he muttered, rolling over.

"Oh god, you're really drunk."

"Ahjumma, I'm not drunk. I can hold liquor better than anyone!"

"Ahjumma?! I'm thirteen years younger than you! And I know you can hold your liquor, so that makes me wonder how much you drank!"

He opened his eyes, is head sliding to the side as he struggled to sit up. "But you look like an ahjumma."

If he thought that seventeen-year-old me looked like an ahjumma, he must be ridiculously drunk.

"Kangin-shi, how are you-"

I heard voices in the street and suddenly a thought occured to me: what would happen if people saw Kangin drunk like this? Wouldn't it go up all over the internet? Would he get in trouble? What if he had to get pulled from Super Junior's activities again?!

No, I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't. Kangin may not have been my favorite member of Super Junior, but SuJu is SuJu, and it was my job as an ELF to prot3ct every single one of them.

I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away from the street, but he resisted. "Ahjumma! What the *** are you trying to do?! I don't even know you!"

"I'm an ELF! I'm trying to help you! Do you want everyone to see you like this?!" I decided to ignore his use of a curse word, since I knew that Kangin was apt to do that.

"Like what? I'm not drunk. See, I can stand up just fine."

He struggled to his feet, then lurched sideways, stumbling into me again. I caught him, using all of my strength to hold him up. He must have been almost twice my weight. And I'm heavy for my size.

"Okay, maybe I'm a little drunk."

"Yeah, so you should definitely come with me where no one can see you," I strained, feeling the veins in my neck bulging. 

"Okay. Lead the way, Ahjumma." I was slightly surprised he'd accepted so quickly. I'd expected to get some kind of rude remark like, "you're an ELF?! Then are you trying to kidnap me!?" but it never came. 

On the plus side, he used a bit more energy to stand, so that I was only carrying half his weight instead of all of it.

I plodded into the shadows of a nearby side-street just as a group of girls walked past. I hoped they hadn't seen him. 

Okay, step one: get Kangin away from where everyone can see him-- check. Step two: bring him back to his dorm, where he'll be safe from prying eyes. Great. Sounds like a plan. 

Then I realized that I didn't know where his dorm was. Wonderful.

"Kangin-shi?" I asked, tentatively.

"I told you, Ahjumma. My name is Youngwoon. Kim Youngwoon."

"Okay, okay. Youngwoon-shi. Where is your dorm?"

"My form? What form? Drivers license? That's okay, I can walk."

Obviously, since he was leaning against tiny little me so much. "No, no, your dorm. Where you live."

He didn't hear me. He'd begun singing "SPY" incredibly loud, and quite badly. 

"Shhh, Youngwoon-shi! People will hear you!"

He still didn't hear me. I had no choice but to pull him further away from the street.

Looking down the dark alley, though, it didn't really look like a good idea. It wasn't safe. I was just a young girl. Seoul was safe, but it wasn't that safe. Cities have the same problems, no matter what country they're in.  Pretty much every instinct in the insides of a country girl in the city was pulling me away from the alley. 

All except one. And that was the instinct of an ELF that told me that I had to take care of my Oppa no matter what. And that was the one that was calling to me the loudest of all right then. So I tightened my hold of the arm that was around my shoulders and started forward into the darkness, my heart pounding.

I was so focused on not being afraid that I almost didn't notice that he'd gone silent. Surprised, I stopped, and looked at him. 

He was looking right at me, his eyes bleary, but open. "Ahjumma... are you an idol?"

"What? Uh... no. Not yet. I'm just a trainee. Why do you ask?"

"Your hair is blonde. Are you sure you're not an idol, Ahjumma?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not an idol. I'm American."

"Ah-may-ri-kan. Well, hello Ahmayrikan. My name is Kim Youngwoon"

Heavy sigh. "Jesus, Kangin-shi! What would make you drink this much?!"

He was quiet for a while as I continued to make my way through the alley. I didn't know where I was going, but I had to go somewhere. We were almost to the other end of the alley before he spoke again.

"Ahjumma... do you think I still belong in Super Junior?"

I was so surprised that I dropped him. Just let go completely. He fell to the ground, not being able to stand up, but still continued looking right at me. It was a bit disconcerting, that gaze. Like he was depending on me. 

I didn't want to be hearing this. I didn't want this to be happening. Kangin had always been Super Junior's tough guy. The one that no one messed with because he was so strong. After two years in the military, I thought he'd only have gotten stronger. But here I was, seeing a side of him that was confused and weak. It made my stomach turn, my head spin, my heart ache. 

"What kind of question is that? Of course you do!" But I heard my voice break. "The ELF waited so long for you to come back! If you're not a member of Super Junior, then what did we wait so long for?"

He thought for a moment. "They did?"

I nodded repeatedly. "Yeah! They want their Oppa to be strong! So you should tell me where your dorm is, so I can help you get there." 

"I told you, I don't need a form."

I sighed exhasperatedly. "Were you drinking like this all by yourself? Don't you know how dangerous it is to drink alone? Why didn't you go with one of your members?"

"That's just it. I came back from the military and it feels like they've gotten by without me. Things changed so much... the group isn't the same. It doesn't feel right. Sometimes I feel behind. Onstage, they all know exactly what to do, but I'm always just a bit late. None of them get it. They're all too young to know."

My heart sank. Was that why he was all alone? "Well... what about Heechul? He just got back from his military service, didn't he? He'd know, right?"

Kangin shook his head. "He's visiting Hong Ki today."

I didn't know what to do or say to make him feel better. I didn't know, I hadn't experienced it. In all my time as an ELF I never thought I'd need to comfort the SuJu members, least of all Kangin. They had always been there to comfort me. I guess it was my turn to pay them back.

I knelt next to him. "Kangin-shi... you can't... think that way. They've just gotten used to having to make do without you. No one wanted it to be this way, but there's nothing we can do about it. You're a member of SuJu, no matter what. You were a member before the military, you were a member while you were in the military, and you are one now. The ELF will forgive any mistakes. It's worth it, because we've waited so long. You just have to think about the ELF."

I waited for a response, hoping I had said the right things. Usually I was quite eloquent, but I had a tendency to stumble with words when I was around my idols.

"Kangin-shi?"

A loud snore ripped through the darkness of the alley.

"God, Kangin, this isn't time to sleep!" I screeched, feeling a bit indignant.

He woke up. "But I'm tired."

It was as if the moment from before had disappeared completely. Once again I was alone with SuJu's tough guy in a dark alley, and it was terrifying. So I quickly did my best to get him back on his feet, my legs straining under his weight. Let's not forget that Kangin isn't exactly a light person, not even taking into account that I'm a very small person.

"Look, Kangin-shi, we've got to get you out of here. Tell me where your dorm is."

He muttered something about Gangnam, and then his head rolled backwards.

Gangnam? Well, that was a start, but it was miles from there! My dorm was closer. But I couldn't bring him there! Not only was it a girls' dorm, but what about Min Hee?

"Is there anywhere else we can go? A friend's house, maybe?"

"Oppa Gangnam Style!" He suddenly called out, attempting the dance, which, were the situation not so serious, probably would have sent me into hysterical laughter, because the dance looked absolutely ridiculous when the dancer was drunk and leaning against someone else.

"You mean you don't live in Gangnam?!"

I was starting to reach hysterics. I'd never dealt with someone this drunk before, and I had no idea what to do.  Not to mention that with a normal person I could just get a taxi, but with Kangin I had to avoid the streets.

"Hey, Ahjumma, there's rain! Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day!"

He was right. It started out with a few occassional drops, but in moments it had escalated into a downpour. I hadn't brought an umbrella. I had to figure out somewhere to go quickly, or we could develop illnesses. 

"Fine, we're going to my dorm. Min Hee will understand." I hoped.

I forced my way through the streets, sticking to the shadows and hoping that the bad kind of people had left the shadows to find a place to shelter them from the rain. It was hard work, and took a long time. Withtin minutes my clothes were completely drenched, and I was, for the first time, happy I had left my phone and mp3 player back at the dorm.

For once, it was a pure relief to see my ugly apartment building looming before me. I rushed inside, then hit the button to call the elevator.

But then a thought occured to me: what if somebody saw him come out of a girls' dorm and assumed bad things? What if he got in even more trouble? What if I got into trouble?! 

No, I couldn't take him there. But where do I-?

My mind snapped into action. I had an idea.

Dripping water into the hallway at around eleven at night, I rapped on the door in front of me and prayed that it would open.

EXO's door flew open to reveal a very surprised Sehun. His eyes travelled from me to the passed-out drunk I was using all of my strength to support. And then his eyes went wide.

"Kangin-sunbae?!"

I dropped to my knees. "Please, Sunbae, you have to help me!" Quickly, I explained what had happened. Already my teeth were chattering. "But I can't take him to our dorm. But you guys... you're from the same company! I know it's a pretty small dorm,and it's late at night, but please, please just take care of him for tonight! I beg you! I'm sorry for all of the trouble we've caused you, really! And we'll be good to you from now on! But please at least take care of your sunbae!"

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Okay, okay! It's no big deal!"

He came out into the hallway and tried to take Kangin from me. When I was free of the weight, I bowed again and said, "If there's anything you need, Sunbae, just ask! I owe you everything!"

Before the door closed I bowed more times than I could count, my hair flinging more water. Suddenly, a shiver ran through my whole body, and I realized that I was cold. Really, really, really cold. I guess all of the adrenaline it had taken to support Kangin had worn off, and the extra energy was gone.

My hands were shaking so bad from the cold that I could barely open my dorm's door. When I did, Min Hee ran over to me. "MEL! Where did you go? JiHoo was so-" She cut off when she saw me shivering. "Oh God, Mel, what happened?! You're soaked to the bone!" I tried to answer, but my jaw was clattering. 

Min Hee grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into the room, shutting the door. "Nevermind. You can tell me later. First we have to get you into dry clothes and warmed up before you develop hypothermia or pneumonia."

What would I do without Min Hee? Without any complaints, she helped me change into my warm, dry pajamas, the space heater on full blast, moved it closer to my bed, and then wrapped blanket after blanket around me. When there weren't anymore blankets on my bed, she went to her own and pulled the blankets off. Then she went to the stove and dumped a container of leftover chicken noodle soup into a pot and began to heat it up.

Even after all of that, I was still shivering from the cold that had seeped deep under my skin. When the soup was finished reheating, she put it in a bowl and tried to give to to me, but I was shivering too much to hold it, so Min Hee just fed me herself. 

She never had to do any of it. She could easily have left it to me. I wouldn't have blamed her. But she didn't. She didn't even ask any of the many questions I was sure were swirling around her head. That's why I was 100% certain that I would not rather have anyone else as my roommate. 

I had been planning to tell her what had happened as soon as I was warmed up. But before I knew it the cold sapped all of the energy I had been using to stay awake, and the darkness closed in.

I woke up with a burning fever and a throat so dry that I could barely talk. It was so bad that Min Hee forced me to stay home, even though I knew I had to go to school and vocal and dance lessons. Not to mention that there was something tickling the back of my mind, like something I had forgotten about, but the fever was so bad that it hurt to try to think about it.

Despite that, Min Hee forced me back into bed, claiming that she would talk to my teachers at SM herself. And then she called the school and explained the situation. When they asked her if she were calling fraud, she held the phone out to me, and I tried to say something, but it came out as a hoarse croak. She said something about proving her point, and then hung up the phone. Before she left, she checked my temperature and put a cup of water by my bed. "Get some more sleep," she said, "if the fever isn't any better, we're going to take you to the hospital."

She left before I could protest. Of course, I couldn't try it very long, because too much effort made the fever pull me under again.

When I woke up it was mid-day. I would be having lunch right about then on a normal day. hmm... lunch... was I hungry?

I couldn't tell. It hurt too much to think about it. So I just assumed that I was and tried to get some of the leek soup that Min Hee had made for me. Just the effort of getting up made my head spin. But somehow I managed to get to the fridge and get the soup out, and stick it into a pot on the stove.

It so turns out that I was, in fact, hungry. That soup was gone before I knew it. But then I passed out again, right there on the floor.

When I woke up, the room was dark and I was cold from laying on the floor, but the fever had gone down a lot. I could form comprehensible thoughts again. 

Of course, the headache was still there, pulsing through my head. But improvement was improvement. So I crawled back into bed, not caring what time it was. My phone was already set for the next day's alarm. So I could sleep in longer.

No sooner had I closed my eyes than I opened them because I heard the sound of my phone's alarm going off. Was it the next day already? Had Min Hee come home?

I rolled over and saw her in her own bed, soundly asleep although it was time to get up. She'd taken her blankets back, I saw. 

Shutting off my alarm, I got out of bed and grabbed the thermometer to take my temperature. 37.6 was still a bit above normal, but it was good enough. I couldn't afford to miss more than one day of school. 

Min Hee was too sleepy that morning to ask me any questions about what had happened, so I got away unscathed. I knew I couldn't avoid it forever, though.

Lee-sunsaengnim said that I was getting a real handle on the language, and that pretty soon I'd be switching out of that class for a morning acting class. It made me sad and happy at the same time. I was a better actress than I was a singer or a dancer, so acting class sounded great, but... I liked Sunsaengnim. I would miss her. Not that I said any of that out loud.

Of course, in lunchtime with John all he did was cry that I had abandoned him and didn't deserve to be his friend and he hated me... blah blah blah. You get the idea. Of course, as soon as I gave him a chunk of my cheese reserves he was suddenly my best friend. Funny how that works, isn't it?

It wasn't until I was headed back to SM that I remembered what I had forgotten. I was thinking about my dance class that day, when I remembered that I didn't have dance class since JiHoo and I had won second place in the contest. Since JiHoo and I... 

Oh God. I am a terrible person.

I broke into a run, headed for the company. I dashed into the dance practice room, asking if any of them had seen Jihoo, but my classmates all gave me jealous glares and said that they hadn't.

I didn't know what to do. I sent him text messages, called him, left messages, but he never answered. Eventually I had to give up and go to vocal training, but my voice was still hoarse and I couldn't concentrate, so Sensei yelled at me a lot. She said that getting caught in the rain is preventable and that I needed to take better care of my voice if I ever wanted to be a singer, so she wouldn't tolerate this kind of thing again. She also yelled at me for not coming to class for two days in a row. But I didn't really process most of it. Was JiHoo mad? Why wasn't he answering me?

Confused, still a bit sick, and completely exhausted, I went back to the dance practice room. Maybe practicing the choreography myself would calm me down a bit. 

But when I walked into the practice room... there he was, leaning up against the far wall with his eyes closed. I hadn't realized how handsome he was until just then. He looked so cool there, in his jacket and jeans, with his black hair falling over his eyelids.

He looked up when I came in, and a wave of emotions I couldn't quite identify passed over his face. All I could tell was that none of them were anger. So if he wasn't angry... then what was he?

"Glad you finally decided to think about me," he stated flatly, his tone emotionless. His eyes were dark and solemn, and he looked... hurt.

"JiHoo, I'm sorry. I forgot all about it. I didn't mean to, it's just that a lot happened, and I got distracted, and then caught out in the rain, so I got a fever and had to spend all day in bed..." my words were coming out rapidly. There was too much to tell. 

He shook his head, not meeting my eyes. "You just don't get it, do you, Minsung?"

I was taken aback. "Get what?"

He sighed, closing his eyes and standing up straight. When he opened them again, he was so close that I could see my reflection in his pupils. His eyes were so clear, I was starting to feel a bit scared.

"You never did know, did you?" He searched my face hopefully, as if he wished I would correct him and say that I did.

"Umm, no, I guess not, since I don't know what I never knew."

He turned away, taking a deep breath. "Geez, Minsung... I liked you. That night after we won, when I asked you to come there the next day to practice, I was planning to... confess to you. When you said that you were happy that I was your partner, I thought maybe... you felt the same way."

"You... liked... me?" I couldn't seem to believe it. That day, I hadn't meant to lead him on or anything. I hadn't. It just never occurred to me that someone would like me like that. No one ever had.

He spun to face me, almost whispering, "ever since the day you walked into this class. I was amazed that someone so American as you would want to be a Kpop artist. And then when you found it difficult, I loved how determined you were to learn the language and how stubborn you were when it came to dancing. you made so many mistakes, but you always just got right back up and tried again. You were always loud, and comfortable about yourself, and... I loved it. That's why... on the day that we chose partners for our dance performances... I switched papers."

He was so close that I could feel his breath on my skin. I was backed up against the wall and I hadn't even realized it.

"You... switched papers?" My heart was pounding, my head was reeling, and a feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that I was about to hear something surprising.

"I wanted to be your partner so bad that when I heard you ask who had number four, I begged Min Hee to switch with me. She was going to be your partner, you know. If the drawing had gone the way it was supposed to. I think she initially thought I was just trying to get away from SoHee. but then as time went by, I think she figured it out."

"Min Hee knew about this?" I searched my mind for some kind of indicator that what he'd said was true.

Then I remembered one time in the dorm when we'd been talking about our dance partners, and Min Hee had said "I'm pretty sure that if you told him to do anything, JiHoo would do it." I hadn't known what she meant back then. I guess I knew now. Min Hee had known the whole time, but had never told me. So here I was, looking like a complete b****.

 "You were so cool, Minsung. You taught me how to be comfortable with myself, the way you were. I liked you even more. But two nights ago I realized that as much as I liked you, I wasn't really that important to you. I wasn't worth remembering. Because in your world, only four things exist: your friends, your family, your art, and Super Junior. And I didn't fit in any of those categories."

"JiHoo, I didn't... I just..." I wanted to tell him he was wrong. I wanted to tell him that he had just misunderstood, and that I still appreciated him as a partner. I wanted to tell him that I hadn't forgotten about him, and that he was worth more than that. But I couldn't. The words caught in my throat, because I realized that they were lies. He was right. I had forgotten all about him. I had dedicated every bit of energy I had to helping Kangin, and didn't even remember my date with JiHoo. Wait, it was a date? He was just my dance partner, for all I knew!

"JiHoo, I ran into Kangin when he was drunk! It just kind of happened! and I'm an ELF- I just couldn't leave him there!"

"Forget it, Minsung. It's not your fault. It's mine, for liking you too much to think that you didn't feel the same. I was stupid enough to ignore all of the signs."

I looked up at him, and I could finally see the depth of the hurt in his face. I had hurt him. "JiHoo, I'm sorry. Really, I don't..."

He shook his head. "It's fine. Just... I think it's going to hurt to much to be around you now. I think... I'm going to have to leave the company today."

"But... what about our performance?"

"You'll figure something out. But I don't think I'm going to be able to perform with you anymore, Minsung. I'm sorry."

He walked out of the room, never shedding a tear, but filled with more hurt and sorrow than I could have claimed at that time. Because he was right. I had felt nothing for him. Maybe that was the real reason I had gotten so comfortable with him as a partner. Because I had no feelings at all. Not discomfort, not friendship, and certainly not anything resembling love. I didn't realize it until then, but I treated a lot of people that way. They were just people that existed. If I didn't hate or love a person, then they had no place in my heart. Was that cruelty? Was that unfair? 

Maybe it was. But it was too late to fix it then. Because JiHoo was already gone. 

I would never see him again.