"Aaaawwwww, Eonni, eres muy bonita!" I remarked, fiddling with a fold in Eliz's dress.

"Mel! I don't speak Spanish!"

"Sorry," I replied, standing straight up. "So, you ready to go meet your groom? I bet he looks dashing."

"Who uses 'dashing' these days?"

"I do. I live in Korea, remember? My English vocabulary's a little outdated. Now shush."

I looked at her again, thinking. "Hmmm... something's missing..."

"You are not splatter-painting my dress."

"Aw, come on! That would have been AWESOME! Besides, it's just a TV show."

She was silent.

"It's just a TV show... right?"

I tried to be a distraction. "Oh, I know!" I pulled a dark pink ribbon from the hair stylist's table and tied it around the waistline of the dress. "Ah, much better."

"Now it doesn't look like a wedding dress! Just because you don't like blank white, Mel..."

"Shisus, Eliz. Just look at yourself."

She turned to look in the mirror, muttering, "did you just say 'Shisus'?"

"Of course I did. We must always pray to Holy Shisus in times of great change."

She looked at herself a long time. She looked quite lovely, her hair fixed in an elaborate pattern of braids and pins that Lela had been all too happy to help with. A single spiraling lock of light brown hair hung loose, to frame her face.

Finally, she nodded, turning and heading out the door. I grinned, brushing any tiny molecules of dust off of my bridesmaid's dress, then followed her out.

"Ah, there she is. Pink. Who knew?"

I punched Zhou Mi in the shoulder. "Just because I'm not a huge fan of pink doesn't mean that I don't look fantastic in it."

Suit. Tuxedo. Look away. I was going to start blushing.

"Something wrong, Niuwang?"

"N-n-no. Should we go?"

"The bride is long gone."

"Oh, shoot!" I'd gotten so distracted that I hadn't even noticed Eliz completely not wait for me. I took off down the paved path, yelling, "EONNI WAIT FOR ME!"

I arrived on the set, looking around at the "wedding" venue. It was small and quaint, with pretty flowers. The camera crew was already set, ready to film our entrances.

Technically Ali and I were the only bridesmaids, since Jacklyn was practicing a collab with some LOEN artist, and Em was being interviewed for a small role in a drama.

The more shocking thing was that neither Ali nor I had come alone. I looked from her, to Hanbyul, back at her, back at him, until I was starting to get dizzy. "When did this happen?"

"After the concert," Hanbyul answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, when you were in your own little world," Ali added, narrowing her eyes.

I reddened. "Sorry. I had other things on my mind. Sure you want to go public? I mean..." I motioned to the cameras, and they both shrugged. 

"Better to let it out now rather than have it come out later as a big scandal, right?" Hanbyul asked, laughing a bit. "Besides. It's just TV."

"What about you guys? Not worried at all?"

I laughed. "People have been suspicious ever since I wrote that duet."

"Uh-oh, here come the best men," Ali remarked, waving at the two members of UKiss.

"I feel weird being the only person here who's not in FASE," Zhou Mi murmured in my ear, leaning over.

I kissed his cheek. "You can be an honorary member. Pretend you speak English."

"Word magic," he said, and I looked at him, confused.

"Word magic." he said each letter very carefully, making sure it sounded right. "If you say a word, it leaps out and becomes the truth."

I suddenly stopped and realized what he was saying, turning a deep shade of red.

"Enter the bridesmaids!" the production team yelled, and suddenly my ears started ringing. I took Mimi's arm, trying not to hyperventilate.

"My friend Eliz... is exactly eleven months and eleven days older than me. We lived next to each other for eleven years, neighbors and friends. I was the weird and crazy one, and she was the one who pretended not to know me."

Laughter.

"We sat next to each other in class, and she would always steal my stuff. My eraser, my water bottle... she even stole my house key RIGHT off of the chain! Kevin, don't trust her. She'll smile that innocent little smile, and there'll be something gone right from under your nose."

He laughed, and Eliz yelled, "Mel! Do you have to say this on international television?!"

I laughed. "Other than that, Kevin is a nice guy, and I think he'll be able to handle her. I suppose it only makes sense that the oldest member gets married first. Congratulations, Eonni."

I moved back to my bridesmaid spot, noticing that Zhou Mi had something in his hands and was fiddling with it. I stared at it a long time, trying to figure it out, until I realized...

He was trying to figure out the puzzle box I'd given him. I almost laughed, right there, while Ali was giving her speech. I couldn't help but watch him fiddle, trying to figure it out. And occassionally he would look up and grin at me, knowing I was watching. 

Eliz didn't wantto do the bouquet toss, since it was just a variety show, but Ali and I wanted to try. And... neither of us caught it. It bounced off of my hands and fell to the ground. Major fail. On international television. Go me.

Group picture. Me and Ali and our dates, surrounding the bride and groom with the best men. Just a TV show. But good practice.

When the production team was cleaning up from the episode, I went to stand next to him. "Figure it out?"

"No. I tried my birth year. Yours. All of the different members. Now I don't even know. I'm just trying random page numbers from your quote boo--"

Pop. The box came open, and he looked at it in surprise. "Zero, three, three, one?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm disappointed in you, Mimi. You'd think you'd remember."

"What?"

"There is no pretending. I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is a life after that, I'll love you then," I quoted, raising an eyebrow. "Jace, City of Glass, page three-hundred thirty-one."

He shook his head, laughing a little to himself. "That one. Niuwang is very cheesy."

"I am from Wisconsin. Cheese is a part of my nature. Now hurry up and look inside."

He opened the box and pulled out a small metal key. "A key?"

"A key."

"What does it open?"

"You'll have to figure that out."

He looked at me suspiciously. "How many puzzles are there?"

"I'm a puzzle. I love puzzles."

"Key to your heart."

"Never be that easy. Nope. I hid something somewhere. Something that key opens. You'll find it eventually."

I grinned at him, then disappeared to change out of my dress.

"I can't believe I'm doing this again," I remarked to Henry, looking around the vast empty space that was the dome in which Summer SMTown would take place. "Last time I was here, I was your dance partner."

"Want to do it again?"

"Ick. No. That was horrifying. But this year... this time I'm not a backup dancer. I have legitimate collaborations. My own performances. It makes my solo concerts seem like nothing. Because this is the one that people come and watch."

He shrugged. "You'll be fine. Great job on that song, by the way. The opener."

"Yeah... thanks."

The roar of the crowd. Anticipating. Waiting. I peeked up from under the stage, my heart pounding. There were so many people, a vast ocean of red, sapphire blue, sky blue, pink, yellow, and even gold. 

This was my third family now. The SM family.

I looked down at my outfit, a lovely white and blue dress that fanned out around my legs. I looked pretty. Hopefully. Either way, I looked better in blue than I did in yellow, so we were good. 

I heard the roar get louder when the music started. I nodded to the stagehand. He grinned, hitting the switch to bring me to the top of the stage. "Give 'em Hell, Queen Be."

I grinned at him. "Thanks. I plan on it."

Lights. So many lights. And then... just me. Alone, onstage. In my own little pool of light.

Ever-working Honey Be's always trying to be Strong,
Across the Divide everything seems wrong.
When you Don't Know How to Dance, you can't find your Honey Gold,
Never wanting to do what you're told."

Another spotlight, joining me onstage while the crowd screemed louder, the yellow and gold lights bobbing wildly as BoA came on and sang her verse.

"Shining like the Pearl Yellow Milky Way,
Hurricane Venus is here to stay.
Jumping BoA curling 'round the sun,
Don't you know you're the Only One?

I was already filled with excitement, but it was supposed to stay quiet and calm until the refrain. We exchanged glances, me and my Sunbae, as we sang together.

"When the night closes in,"

"when the ground under you seems too thin,"

"You'll be alright..."

"Just look to the SKY!

Shooting stars in a shadowy light,
We're flying 'round the sky tonight!
For once the sun is taking a backseat,
Watching the colors shine, and keeping the beat,
shining with the rainbow stars!"

 Another light in another corner of the stage, this time a dark red light, surrounding two sillhouettes, one of which I had beaten at a charity concert. Well, not me personally, but you know what I mean.

"Cassiopeia shining brighter than the Rising sun,
lit up with Pearl Red, try to Catch Me and I'll run.
Something almost Mirotic with the way it bleeds,
knowing that light is what everyone needs.

When I'd written the song, my intention was that everyone would perform their versus roughly in the order of debut. But one group I had to mix together, since none had been promoted by SM enough to give me enough material for a full verse. Three spotlights, swirling around. "Pearl" pink, cobalt blue, and an orange-tinted gold. The gold, I knew, was Liyin's. It was like I had stolen her color, without realizing it. So the company had tinted them a little to make them differentiable. BoA's was a bright yellow without any other color. Mine was tinted slightly brownish to give it more of an amber hue, and Liyin's was more of the original gold.

"With Gold Chocolate we're Moving On,
Shapely Pearl Pink clouds in the dawn,
The Cobalt Blue sky filled with colors is a Paradox.
Enjoy our time together and ignore the clocks!

I stood together with Liyin and BoA while we sang together, loving the way the song sounded with Jungmo's guitar. Man, the guy could play. Super jealous.

"Shooting stars in a shadowy light,
we're flying 'round the sky tonight!
For once the sun is taking a backseat,
watching us shine and keeping the beat,
shining with the rainbow stars!

Super Junior, finally. Well, everyone but Shindong and Eunhyuk. They sang in pairs, directly out to the sapphire blue part of the audience. I tried going over to the Honey Gold part to pump them up, but I found myself grabbed from behind and spun, hearing Siwon and Kangin laugh.

"Say A-CHA, my Everlasting Friend,
Sorry Sorry, we're still far from the end.
Dive into the Sapphire Blue,
Staying y Free and Single just for you."

I admit. It was tacky. But they agreed to sing it, so... whatevs. The ELF seemed to like it. Onto SNSD!

"Tell Me Your Wish, my dear Sone,
A wish to take you Into the New World.
I Got A Boy, he's a Pastel Rose,
Mr Mr, Oh! He's the only one who knows!

Shooting stars in a shadowy light,
we're flying 'round the sky tonight.
For once the sun is taking a backseat,
watching us shine and keeping the beat,
shining with the rainbow stars!

SHINee, all except Minho.

"Sky Blue over a SHINee World,
Why So Serious? You're a Dream Girl.
Everybody, you don't need Sherlock to find the light,
don't turn to Lucifer to win the fight."

f(x) and EXO, sharing a verse, all except for Amber, Chanyeol, and Kris.

 "Danger! Need an Electric Shock for our connection,
Make your heart go "Rum Pum Pum Pum" with Af(x)tion."
"The Wolf asking you What is Love?
A Growl to tell you what we're thinking of."

 All of the rappers, appearing en masse from the edge of the stage. Shindong, Eunhyuk, Minho, Amber, Chanyeol, and Kris.

"Watching the ocean and let the nighttime come,
thousands of lights together, we're gonna need some--
sunglasses because you're the stars,
Together we'll make the night ours,
Don't worry because we can stop time,
just sit back and watch yourself shine!"

Taeyeon screaming out a note. The main singers chipping in.

"oooooooOOOOAAAAH,
Just look to the sky!
You can shine like the stars!
You know you can fly!"

Shooting stars in a shadowy light,
we're flying 'round the sky tonight.
For once the sun is taking a backseat,
watching us shine and keeping the beat,
Shining with the rainbow stars!

Shining with the rainbow stars!
Come on, shine with us!
You and me
And SM Family,
Shine with the Rainbow Stars!"

It took a long time for the audience to calm down. The next people to go on were Leeteuk and Seohyun, MCing the show. Meanwhile, I rushed back/under stage, changing my clothes as fast as I could. There was one performance before I had to go on with BoA and Zhang Liyin, but with costumes as intricate as the ones we were wearing, we needed all the time we could get.

Lela wrapped the dress's corset around my midsection and pulled the strings tight, so I couldn't breathe.

"Dear god, Lela, are you trying to kill me?! I still have to be able to sing, you know!" 

She apologized and relaxed the laces a bit. "Sorry. I wanted to make sure it wouldn't slip. It's the only thing that's going to be holding you in."

I put my hand to my chest, listening to the dialogue going on above my head. Sometimes I could actually hear someone's footsteps above me, especially when f(x) started their performance.

The dress went over my head, hugging tightly to the contours of the clothes I was wearing under it. Lela fixed some of the ribbons, then patted my hair to make sure it was fine. 

"Alright, Queen Be, you're ready to go." Lela stepped back and held out my microphone. 

"Thanks, Lela." I took the microphone from her and took a deep breath. The three solo artists. And I was the youngest of them. The youngest of anyone, actually. Closest to my age were the EXO members, but even then, it was only Sehun, by two years. Other than that, some of the trainees were being backup dancers again. They were they only ones younger than Queen Be.

 Through my in-ear I could hear BoA and Liyin talking to the staff. Then the attention was re-focused to me.

"Ready, Queen Be?"

It was BoA. I could practically hear the nervous smile in her voice. How could she be nervous? She was more experienced than any other artist there. Especially me. 

I stepped into place while the stage above me went dark. "I'm ready as I'll ever be, BoA-sunbae. Liyin sunbae."

"See you onstage, Niuwang," I heard Liyin say.

"Hey, only Mimi is allowed to call me that," I scolded, then heard the both of them laugh, when the lift began to propel me towards the top of the stage. Collaboration time. Cover time. Time to make FictionJunction and Kalafina proud.

"Nowhere" originally by FictionJunction Yuuka, was the song we were performing, although we were performing the version that had been adapted for Kalafina. I was singing Keiko's part. Briefly, while the thousands of colored lights from the stage approached me, I wondered if Eunhyuk had even thought of Keiko since the day of the convention. I wondered if, when I had given up on him, he realized that she was more perfect for him than I was. Would ever be.

The music pumped through my bones instantly, and out of the corner of my eye I saw BoA and Liyin come up, singing together with me. Liyin was Wakana, the high soprano. BoA was Hikaru, the second soprano. And I was Keiko, the alto.

At first, we were singing nonsense syllables, until I came in, singing in the deepest chest voice I could muster, all of our voices layering over each other. I smiled widely, singing out to the audience.

"Tell me the story of your soul.
Look at me without turning your eyes away.
You think that I am non-existent."

Then BoA, the fast pace of the song more suitable for her than it was for me and Zhang Liyin. And, of course, her Japanese was flawless.

"If you run to the unseen place,
and leave behind the unnecessary decorations,
even with an empty heart, the load is too heavy."

Then Liyin, adding to our voices, bouncing off of each other, The audience was going crazy. 

"Someday, some way, any time, any ways."

"Only the dream, that flies when blown,"

"Somehow becoming one of the angels,"

links the two people."

"Disobey the guidance of the all-showing star,"
"and run straight up,"
"towards the door in the sky."
"I will go anywhere."

Then I sang background with Liyin, while BoA had the melody.

"The yellow loneliness of petals,
if it can experience the hearts of two,
I think your loneliness will disappear from then on."

Me again, happily just twirling around in my beautiful dress, not dancing, not about to screw up.

"More important than the consolation desired now,
more important than the temporary laughter,
I think I want to see the inner you."

Guitar solo, while we pumped up the audience. I ran to the gold section, jumping up and down, screaming for them to scream louder. They were only happy to oblidge.

It was practically a cheering competition between the yellow portions of the audience, until we started singing again.

Liyin, blasting notes, like she is SOOOO amazing at, while I sang the background lyrics.

Liyin:

"The gentle tomorrow that the all-showing star has shown,
more importantly, to move towards the bright future."

"The real you and the real me,
will definitely reach our meeting spot.  
Disobey fate, scatter tears,  
even so I want to meet you.  
we will reach to nowhere land.  
take me to the nowhere land."

Another screamfest, where I ran straight towards the sapphire blue part of the audience, screaming, "COME ON, ELF, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!"

Suddenly I had so much energy. BoA was encouraging her fans to cheer, too, while Liyin danced and waved.

Then I ran over to Liyin, singing against her back, singing together with her, bouncing off of BoA.

"Tell me the story of your soul."

"Someday, some way, any time, any ways."

"Look at me without turning your eyes away."

"Somehow becoming one of the angels,"

"The yellow loneliness of the petals"

"Someday, some way, any time, any ways"

will not turn around, so I wonder where the two of us will go."

"Disobey the guidance
of the all-showing star
and run straight up 
towards the door in the sky.
Resist the gentle,
smiling fate.
If there is courage in you
to find me,
I will be everywhere..."

The music ended, and we froze, fists in the air, while everyone screamed. So many people screaming for us, it was like a wave next to Hawaii, sweeping down from above and threatening to knock you off your feet. People were going wild. 

I found myself in the middle, a hand wrapping around each of mine. Then we bowed, all three, together.

I'd been tired before. I'd felt like I was about to collapse. But suddenly, I wasn't hungry. I wasn't tired. I wanted to go back onstage. I craved that energy. It was something you're never able to understand until you do a concert like that one. You feed off of each other's energy. You get energy from the people around you, and from the audience, and they get it from you. And it should leave you all exhausted, but it doesn't. It just gives you more and more energy.

Finally we went off stage, clearing the way for EXO to come on, before SHINee and f(x) did their collaboration. 

The night was a blur of bright colors and costume changes. The audience's fever spread to me. Both on and offstage, I sweated like mad. I changed into a costume of black leather mixed with gold fabric, including a black leather vest over a shimmering gold tanktop. I went onstage, performing "Strong" and "High Heels" and, finally, "Don't Know How to Dance" with Kai instead of Eunhyuk. The company had been adamant that they improve my relationship with the EXO members. 

When that was over, I went down to the changing room, chugging water. Lela's assistants wiped sweat off of my forehead, dabbing at my face with handkerchiefs. 

My legs were starting to feel like jelly, but I kept going. I kept drinking water, and practicing, and cheering on my sunbaes, and my hoobaes. Weird. I had hoobaes.

Finally, the end of the show came, sometime deep into the night. Arirang, Korea's unofficial national anthem, all of us singing together. That would change depending on where we were at the time. Every night would end with the national anthem of whatever country we were in at the time.

We lined up onstage, all fifty-two of us, joining together for a group bow. I was between Henry and Kyuhyun, and was reaching for Kyuhyun's hand to start the bow when Henry held up a finger and moved to my other side, pulling Zhou Mi into place next to me. Very subtle, not enough for anyone to notice. But it was enough to make me feel embarrassed, and Henry look quite proud of himself.

With one hand in Henry's and another in Zhou Mi's, I smiled and bowed to the audience, higher than the night sky over the dome.

The performance was over, and I was high on fan love, high-pitched screams, and the feeling of my many sunbaes from SM next to me. 

"So how did it feel?" Zhou Mi asked, walking up to me. Everyone else had gone to talk to friends and family, but he and I had none, not in Seoul.

"Like I was standing on top of the world," I gasped, fanning myself.

"Yeah, that's how I felt, my first time in SMTown, too. I felt like it again, today." He'd taken ahold of my wrists, and he was standing close enough to me now that I could feel the heat radiating off of him through his clothes.

"And why was that?" I teased, leaning against the wall, smirking at him.

"It was my first time being at SMTown with you." He put his fingers to the bottom of my chin, tilting my face up to his. His other hand slid around my back, pulling me closer to him.

Our lips met in a moment of heat, and I could taste the salt on his mouth from the perspiration. It was a delicious kiss, maybe sweetened by the ecstasy of the stage. Either way, when he began to pull away, I pulled him back to me, sliding my hands up his chest until I could lock my arms around his shoulders.

He gasped a little, against my mouth, pulling me even closer still, until our bodies were touching in every place it seemed possible, our body heat combining into a temperature that made sweat roll down my back. But I didn't care. At that moment, I just wanted to hold him there, in that moment, that close, in the short time that no one was there to see it.

He must have felt the same way, because his long fingers wound into my hair, his other hand skimming up my side, following the curves of my hips and chest. I shivered, breaking away just long enough to take a deep breath of air before kissing him again.

His hand traced the line of my collarbone, travelling down to where the zipper at the top of my vest was. Before I knew what was happening, he took hold of the zipper, pulling it downwards. My heart hammered as he did so, the vest so tight that his fingers grazed my chest on the way down. It was exhilarating, the most imcredible feeling, and my body ached for the annoying cloth to just go away, so nothing could separate me from him--

I grabbed his hand, stopping the downward glide of the zipper. The vest was already most of the way open, revealing the top half of the flimsy honey-gold tank top underneath.

I forced myself away from him, as much as a large part of me wanted to move closer. 

"Stop."

He looked down at his hand, as if he hadn't even known what he was doing. "I- I'm sorry, Niuwang, I don't know-- I shouldn't have-- that was completely--"

"WHAT are you two doing?!"

We jerked apart, disturbed by the sudden interrupting voice.

Oh god, it was Henry.