I biked down the street, listening to the birdsong, loving how much of it I could recognize and identify. My legs powered me down the gravel roads, then onto the coarse pavement of the city streets, all the while my mind was cursing what had happened the previous night.

So embarassing... curse you, Cho Kyuhyun! I'd jerked away and apologized to Zhou Mi immediately and turned around and yelled at Kyuhyjn as much as I could without making a scene, and we'd left the fairgrounds soon after that.

Today was the day of my friends' performance in the grandstand, and I'd split up from the guys, deciding to instead take a bike ride from my house, all of the five miles to the town. Meanwhile, they'd decided to visit the town museum, and try out the different restaurants.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and when I got to a stop sign, I pulled it out and looked at the text message. It was a picture message from Henry.

"You have a Chinese restaurant in your town! The lady at the counter really likes us." Sure enough, He and Zhou Mi were leaning against the counter, while the woman behind the counter smiled shyly.

"Of course she likes you, you speak Chinese," I muttered to myself before I slid my phone into my pocket and continued on my journey. Of course, that wasn't exactly true. That lady was just an extremely nice person, and she liked my mother and I, too. 

By the time I reached the school building and perched my bike in the rack, my legs ached and my hair was fairly windblown. I pulled a comb out of my purse and ran it through my hair, then pulled it back into a long blonde ponytail. I'd meant to cut my hair months ago, but the director of Two Lands, One People had insisted that my long blonde hair was perfect for the elegance of Rosaline. 

I went to the office to officially present my contribution to the school-- a school song. It wasn't much, but it felt very unoriginal that our school song was "On Wisconsin". It was hardly a song we could call our own.

That done,  went back to the grandstand to wait for the concert. On the way there, a lot of people asked me about what things I was doing in America, what I'd done in Korea all of this time, and whether I intended to do movies. 

They seemed interested when I told them that I was working in a Korean drama, and especially when I explained what it was about, and what my character was like. And I didn't know if I intended to do movies or not. It all depended on what offers I got. 

When I got back to the bus, the guys were sitting on the grass just outside of it, sprawled out and grumbling.

Kangin sat up when he saw me coming and crawled over. "Ahjumma, it's so hot..."

"Not really. It's only eighty degrees."

"EIGHTY?!"

"Fahrenheit, you dork! Umm... what is that in Celsius..." I tried to remember the formula, and then attempted to do the conversions in my head. "Around... 30 degrees Celsius? Well, maybe closer to 27. Anyway, it's not actually that hot. It's just really humid."

He fell back in the grass, groaning. Further down, I heard Heechul yell, "Minimin! You said it was really cold where you come from!"

"In winter! We're in the middle of summer! It gets hot! And we border the lakes, so we get high humidity rates. Feel like you're suffocating yet?" I knew the oppressive heat of Wisconsin summers. The heat itself wasn't so bad, but the humidity could get so bad that you couldn't even sweat, and it was dangerous to go outside for long periods of time. 

This wasn't one of those days, but it was entertaining to see the guys whine. "Can it be winter?" Kyuhyun asked.

"No. You definitely wouldn't want it to be witner. Also thanks to the lakes, we get buckets and buckets of snow. Snowstorms, ice rain, the works. Be glad you don't live in those conditions."

The only person who seemed to even remotely understand was Henry, and that wasn't even surprising at all. Of course the Canadian understands when I talk about the hot and cold. Wisconsin and Canada weren't that different. 

So while we waited for the Rstory concert, Henry practiced with his violin for the performance the next day, and I... read a book. I hadn't read anything in a while, being so busy with songwriting, practicing, promoting, and touring. But while the guys were too humidity-struck to do anything, it felt nice to sit back, relax, and re-read the Mortal Instruments series.

As I flipped a page, I snuck a look up at Zhou Mi. He was sitting in the grass, leaning up against a power pole, reading something. So apparently he wasn't too bothered by what happened the previous day. And apparently he hadn't understood the quote he'd read out loud. So I was safe.

I went back to the book, to my favorite part, when Clary and Jace are in the greenhouse, and he's showing her the midnight flowers for her birthday, and then they kiss...

I cheered as loudly as I could for my friends. They mostly sang their covers, the songs that made them popular, and then moved on to the music of their album, fairly upbeat songs with humorous lyrics, and then softer ballads, like any other album. I was almost jealous. Obviously, becoming an artist, I hadn't expected to succeed in the first place, but while the girls in Rstory were there for each other, ready to cover each other when one of them messed up, I was alone. Sure, I shared the stage with SuJu, but when I was actually performing, I was by myself. A solo.

When the concert was over, we met behind the big stage, and gave hugs. "You're really leaving for Korea in the morning?" I asked, in the middle of a big Wisconsin Girl group hug. 

"Of course. We have to," Em said, muffled by Eliz's hair in .

"But we just got to see each other again!" I cried, hugging them all tighter. 

"Don't worry. We'll take care of Korea for you. We'll take all of your fans, steal all of your songs, so when youcome back from hawaii, you'll have to start all over!" Eliz joked.

I pushed them away, glaring. "Don't you dare."

She laughed. "Well, you're the one who's going to Hawaii..."

"I have to! It's a team effort!"

She patted me on the head. "Oh, Melly. Don't worry. We'll be nice."

"Besides, how can we deny a chance to go to Korea? We have hot Kpop idols to see," Ali interjected.

"Well, I guess that's a good reason," I conceded.

"Hey, what does that make us?!" I heard Henry yell.

I looked up at my friends. "Should we?"

Em nodded, and we all ran to the members of SuJu and swept them into the giant group hug. There was a lot of surprised shrieking, and yelling. And then we finally borke away, laughing.

"Thank you for taking care of our Maknae," Em said, brushing her curly brown hair out of her face. "I know, she's crazy and demanding, so thank you for putting up with her." She ignored my death glare.

"And by the way, you guys," Jacklyn added, "I don't know if we ever said this, but it was nice to meet you. You're all old, but you're still cool!"

"I am not OLD! I'm still Oppa!" Leeteuk cried. "You're all as bad as Minsung!"

My friends all laughed, and I realized that your friends make you who you are. They were a lot like me, in a lot of ways. All both more mature than they should be and yet behaved half their age. All of them liked to make fun of my Oppas for their age. And they were all just a bit eccentric. But hey, if they weren't, they wouldn't be my friends.

The day of our concert came, and we spent the first half of the day tweaking the sound system, working out placements, and practicing. It was a lot different from the concerts we'd done previously, since the stage didn't project into the audience. It had to be a mostly musical performance, with very little dancing, something that made Eunhyuk quite uncomfortable. 

And then when the grandstand finally opened, people poured into the stands from all over. Three times the amount that had watched the catch-a-pig contest. I'd heard that people of the town had booked these tickets months ahead of time. People had continuously told me how excited they were for it. I snuck into the space behind the stands, listening to the conversations of people as they entered. 

"I'm only coming because you wanted to so much. I don't really like this girl. And a whole bunch of Asians. Really, how does she show her face in this town after abandoning her country and pretending to be Asian? They don't belong here, and neither does she. She's a traitor to this country."

I hid deeper in the shadows of the stands, frozen. A traitor to my country? I hadn't really thought of...

"Aw, come on. She's just diverse. Is that so wrong?"

"Well, don't ask me for my opinion. If she were really that good, she would have been able to get a job in this country."

Their voices faded behind the blend of the crowd. But they weren't the only ones. I'd been sheltered. The people who had talked to me of their excitement were the ones who didn't hide in their houses from me.

A traitor. Un-American. And I'd been hearing it all along, all through this tour. Why go to Asia? Aren't you good enough to be an American artist in the first place?

I slipped away from the grandstand, sneaking in with one of the stage hands to the backstage area. Haters gonna hate, but I couldn't stand to hear myself called a traitor to my country.

The audience roared when I came onstage, then went quiet when I brought the microphone to my lips. "Hello everyone! It feels great to be back here! Back home! A lot of you are familiar faces, that I knew when I was still a kid, still a teenager. And you probably saw me at the fair, showing my friends around. As you al know, they're not from this country. Not even Henry. Yes, I know you all like Henry. But he's Canadian."

I looked down at my feet, taking a deep breath to prepare myself for what I was about to say. "I know you're all waiting for the concert to start... I've been looking forward to it all week. But I have a very specific song picked out to start us off. I think... it's very appropriate. It starts off ball games and parades. And here we are, inbetween Independence Day and Veteran's day."

"A lot of people have been calling me un-American. Because I would go to Asia and learn their languages, their culture, and didn't seem to like my own. Well, I won't deny it... we're not perfect. But hearing that I'm a traitor to my country... that's not something I can brush off. I was born here. Raised here. Taught here. My parents are both Army veterans, and the Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. My family and I... we would celebrate it every year. A big, wonderful party filled with fireworks. I missed that this year. I missed it a lot.

"I am an American. It's in my DNA, it's in the way I talk, the way I act, all the way down to the way I walk. I may have gone off to Korea and learned how to be a singer there, but I haven't shed the person that grew up here. I'm still a Wisconsin Girl. So the song I'm going to sing... I can't say I'll be the best one ever to perform it. But I hope you listen to it. And enjoy the rest of the concert, with my friends and I, who came a long way just to be here. So I want you all to stand up. Put your right hand onto your heart, and face the flag. Because that's what I did every time I heard this song, every Friday during elementary school. Please listen."

I let the microphone fall, and took a deep breath while I waited for the scattered applause to end. I brought the microphone up to my lips and reminded myself to start low.

"Oh, say, can you see?
By the dawn's early light,
what so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched
were so gallantly streaming."

We didn't have any background music prepared. That was okay. Everyone was standing, looking at the flag, and I was in control. My voice rose in the directions I wanted to, and I had to fight not to be overcome with emotion.

"And the rocket's red glare,
the bombs bursting in air,
gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there.
O, say does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave~
o'er the land of the Free?
And the home of the brave..."

The audience cheered as loudly as I'd ever heard them yell at concerts. Louder, even. I think, this time, it meant something to them. Because I wasn't just some country singer, paid to come here. This was my home. I was one of them.

"Thank you," I said, swallowing. "Now let's get this concert going!"

"Black Magic". "No Place for Weeping". 

And then the guys came on and performed "Paper Wall."

And then it was me and Henry, like usual, performing "Somewhere Far Away." The song we'd made in a video. Henry on the piano, me on the ukulele. 

"Because in the home I left behind,
Everything is much the same.
Life goes on, as it always did
In a quiet home with no chaos of fame.
It is life as always,
as it always should be.
And I cannot burden myself upon it,
because the one who changed... was me."

The songs went by like road signs. One began, and then another ended. Me, then SuJu. then Henry's "I Would" solo. Then Eunhyuk and Donghae's rap and dance performance that ended up with them out on the grandstand, something totally not planned by the stage commitee. But hey, whatever, right?

And then me again, sitting on a stool in the center of the stage. A country song. Because that was what usually was performed at county fairs.

"She follows the path of least resistance.
She doesn't care to see the mountaintop.
She twists and turns with no regard to distance...
She never comes to a stop."

I'd grown up with that song. And I knew my mother was in the audience, probably crying her eyes out, because it was one of her favorites. 

"And she rolls, she's a river.
Where she goes, time will tell.
Heaven knows he can't go with her,
and she rolls all by herself...
all by herself."

I swallowed, letting the instrumentals go for a second. Admittedly, it was a very good song. Especially for someone as wild and eternally single as me.

"He's headed for a single destination.
He doesn't care what's standing in his path.
He's a line between two points of separation,
He ends just where it says to on the map.

And he rolls, he's a highway.
Where he goes, time will tell.
Heaven knows, he can't go with her,
and he rolls all by himself...
all by himself..."

Favorite part. Right here. I wish I had a shoulder. I don't know if I ever got a shoulder. Because I was ignoring love for the moment.

"And every now and then, he offers her his shoulder.
And every now and then, she overflows.
And every now and then, a bridge crosses over...
It's a moment that every lover knows..."

I let the notes fade out, knowing that this was my real talent. I was more of an actress than a singer. And when I acted, I used my own feelings to convey the intended meaning. It was no different when I was singing.

"And she rolls, she's a river.
Where she goes, time will tell.
Heaven knows, she can't go with him,
and she rolls all by herself.
and he rolls all by himself...
fare thee well..."

The concert ended in deep night, and we were all exhausted. Yesung needed a cough drop for his voice, and my fingers were bleeding from playing the ukulele. But I think it was a success. People cheered when we thought they would, laughed when we thought they would, and we never got booed off of the stage.

I slept in the bud that night, unable to stop smiling to myself. Tomorrow would be our last day in my hometown, before we headed off to Toronto. It was a closing day, a wrap-up for this segment in our documentary, before we headed off to Henry's hometown. Well, home city. 

I slept lightly, awake in the night because of the humidity. It had been a continuing factor through both concerts, and on into the night. Of course, Sungmin slept just fine. He always did. With his mouth wide open, just like Kyuhyun always said. 

But me? I slept, and woke up, slept, and woke up. Eventually I gave up and sat outside, on the grass next to the curb. Since we were leaving the next night, the bus had changed its parking spot from next to the grandstand to the parking lot next to the school. We would be leaving soon.

"Can't sleep?" 

I looked up to see Leeteuk leaning against the side of the bus.

I shook my head. "I lived here for seventeen years, and the humidity usually made me even sleepier than usual. But now it keeps meup. It's amazing what only three years can do to you."

"Are you going to miss it?"

"Of course. It's my home."

He shrugged. "We move around a lot."

I half-smiled, looking down at my sparkly pink fingernails. "What's it like? Being the leader?"

"I never feel like the leader. They don't listen to me half the time, anyway. You know that."

I laughed. "I know. Ahjusshi is in charge of a bunch of little kids."

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know... seeing Rstory onstage, and then performing in front of my own town, it just made me realize. I'm not in a group. I'm my own Maknae, my own leader, all in one."

He leaned back on his hands, thinking. "When the company tells us to do stuff, they tell me first. I have to try and be a good example--"

"You're not very good at that," I pointed out, interrupting him.

"--at least when it comes to the work. Mostly it's a figurehead job. I don't actually do much, but when stuff happens, I'm always the one they look to, to see what I'm doing."

I curled myself into a ball, thinking about it. "You're a crybaby."

"I am not!"

"At concerts you are. You think I didn't catch you crying onstage today? And you weren't even the one singing!"

"Okay, okay, fine."

"I bet you didn't know, but if you start crying, everyone does. I think Ahjusshi is more of a leader than he thinks. It's subtle, but... they all count on you."

I uncurled myself, smiling at him. "You guys are a team. Just like the Green Bay Packers, in order to succeed, you need to depend on each other, cover for each other's weaknesses. And you need a leader of some kind. I don't have that luxury. I have to cover for my own weaknesses. And that's why... I have to try not to have any."

"I don't really know."

I laughed. "I know you don't. You're just an old man. And not getting any younger."

He made a face at me. "You never stop being trouble, you know that, Choi Minsung?"

I grinned. "I do. I like making trouble. It's my life's goal."

The next day, I walked back to the county fair, despite the oppressive heat. The guys, for their part, were doing a fansigning over at the school. But I had a speech to give. 

Back when I was a student here, I was a 4-H club member, showing my own projects, engaging in community activities. Speech contests, Dramafest... my favorite times of year.

And now, for a special tribute to those years, I headed to the 4-H stage, to speak before a small crowd. Well, small as a relative term. When I got there, the barn was filled with people all ready to listen to what I was saying. A really strange feeling.

It was clear skies when I stood in front of the audience, and held the microphone in my hands. I had a prepared speech, but, looking over the faces of the people there, I knew that the speech I'd had planned-- about what it was like in Korea, and what my trainee years had been like-- was irrelevant. 

The people who stood there waiting were almost all my age. In fact, I knew them all quite well. In a way, I'd grown up with them. And even there, in the back, a sign declaring who they were.

"Class of 2014". The people I'd gone to elementary school, middle school, and high school with. All but my last year. All waiting for me.

I folded the cards in half and threw them onto the stage behind me. "Wow... it's been a long time, you guys."

They laughed, still waiting for me. I smiled, then frowned, then looked again over the faces of the people I knew. They all looked different. Some of them had gotten thinner, some heavier. Some were more well put together, and some looked haggard and tired with the harshness of college life.

"I know a lot of you were there at the concert, and already heard my big speech about being American. But I'm standing here today, looking at you all, feeling just a bit separate. It's true... I didn't graduate with you. I graduated from an International school in a foreign country, with classmates who didn't know me, and didn't try to. I was a foreigner, a strange substance they believed was polluting their country. 

"And all the while I knew that I was leaving behind a year of geniuses. Of kids with big hearts and even bigger futures. Everyone knows that the Class of 2014 was one of the greatest years in the history of our school..."

I paused for laughter.

"Yeah, I know. I'm appealing to your self-confidence. But I really believe it. You were smart, talented people who knew what you wanted, and fought for it. A good amount of the time, you were fighting against me. Because at the time, I didn't know what I wanted. I just wanted to be the best at everything. 

"As a high school senior, only a few steps away from a completely new life, a completely new view of the world, those last few days were a struggle. Fighting to take advantage of those last few moments of the life I’d come to know before the shadow of the much more frightening real world overtook me, and a new life on my own became reality. Many kids are excited for it. They can’t wait to shed the chrysalis of their school life, spread their wings, and launch into the world where they don’t have parents, siblings, and teachers to protect them.

"But me? I’m scared. I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m just scared of the world as a whole. I’m scared of stepping away from the home I’ve lived in all of my life, afraid of competing against others for the same things I’m good at, the same things I want. I’m afraid of crushing people under my feet, and I’m afraid of being stepped on. I’m afraid that the person I am now will disappear behind cruelty and competitiveness. Yet I’m afraid that if I’m not cruel and competitive enough, I’ll lose my chances for an ideal future. I’m afraid that if I do step on people to get what I want, I’ll get it and realize that I never really wanted it in the first place. I’m scared because I know these things happen. I’m scared because there’s no way to know that they won’t happen to me."

I heard thunder, and swallowed harshly. No... not a storm... not today. Okay, calm down, Melissa. Finish the speech. People are counting on you.

"So this speech is about hope. That things can go wrong, and it’s okay to be afraid for ourselves and for the others that have to take that first step, to have the courage to know what you have to do, to trust yourself to find your way back into the sky, even if your wings get torn and you fall down a little.

"We flew together for along time. But now, we're separate. I'm standing here, on this stage, talking to people I left behind for a culture on the other half of the world. Because I was always a little bit different from you. My goals were different. And I don't hold that against any of you. I'll miss you all. I'll miss this whole town. I'll miss the people that walked with me on the same path towards the cliff of the future. Even though you weren't always nice to me, that's not important anymore. We all took that first step. We all grew wings. And I hope that, even when I go back to Korea, when I go, you'll still be flying."

They clapped, and I exhaled and bowed, then descended into the crowd to talk to my old classmates. I really would miss them all.

But one look up at the sky told me that there was no time to linger. There never did seem to be a year that went by that it didn't storm during the fair.