"WHAT?! You're auditioning for SM?! Like, right now?!" 

I held my phone away from my ear, wincing. "Calm down, James. Yes, I'm at the audtions building right now.  And we're supposed to have our phones off as soon as we go in, so I'm calling you ahead of time, while we're in the lobby."

"But... but...but... WHY?!" 

"I'm not really sure myself. I guess I just did it on a whim. Don't be too worried. I won't be that disappointed if I don't get in."

"No, no, I mean, why didn't you tell me ahead of time! Your sister and all of us could have come out and  made a cheer squad!"

I snickered. "Okay, if you say so. But I seriously just decided to do this yesterday. I was at my Grandma's house outside of San Francisco, and... now I'm here." 

I could hear the nerves in my voice. James suddenly said, "Wait, hang on a sec." 

I heard a muffled "Jackie! Come here!" and then my sister's voice on the phone. 

"You're auditioning for what now?!" 

"SM. You know, the label that SHINee and Super Junior are under."

"And BigBang?" Alas, my sister liked Kpop, but didn't really pay attention to them THAT much. 

"No, Sibling, that's YG."

"Oh."

"But I'm here. In LA, waiting for my turn to go in."

"And Grandma just let you go?"

"Yeah. Actually, she kind of made me go. Steve brought me."

"Wow... that's awesome! Are you nervous!"

"Extremely," I admitted. My stomach was doing acrobatics and it felt like my heart was going to explode.

"Oh wow, you sound like it."

"Any encouraging words of advice from my elder sister?"

"Okay, first, calm down. take a deep breath." I did. "now, if I know my sister, she's a stubborn brat who doesn't think about what she's doing before she does it. She says exactly what she thinks and doesn't let anyone argue with her. But she's smart. She never lets me forget that she's smarter than me." 

I smiled in spite of myself. "I don't know if that really makes me feel better."

"What I'm saying, Sibling, is that if you go in there with a straight head and act like yourself, then SG-"

"SM"

"Whatever. If you go in there and act like yourself, SM doesn't stand a chance. If you go in there scared, then was it really worth going there? A good actress has to be confident on stage. No matter what kind of stage. So you go in there, stare them down, and tell it like it is. That's what you're good at. If you try to be something you're not, you'll never be able to who you are. And there's no way an entertainment company's going to take fakes."

I hadn't actually thought my sister was going to be that much help. I thought she'd just tease me and sarcastically wish me good luck. But she didn't. Actually, I think it was the best speech she'd ever made. I kind of wanted to save it and keep it for memory.

I took another deep breath. "Thanks, sis. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck!" I heard about ten voices call over the phone.

"What's going ON there?" I asked, surprised that so many people were on the other side.

"Nothing, nothing. Just a little college get-together. Don't mind us." I heard Tessa say. "Bye Mel!"

I hung up, turning my phone off and pulling myself together. I knew what I had to do now. It may not get me accepted, but at least it meant I could leave that audition with dignity. I looked toward the door I would soon be entering. Take a deep breath. And then I heard my name.

"So, Melissa, where are you from?" the voice that asked me the question had such heavily Korean accented English that I almost couldn't understand it.

"Wisconsin."

"Wisconsin? Where is that?"

"It's one of the USA's states, bordering the Great Lakes. In the middle of the country."

"Did you come all the way out here just to audition for SM?"

"No. There were other factors," I answered, not specifying that I'd been there to visit my Grandma. 

"I see. Now, you know every auditioner is to sing a song, no matter what they aspire to be. What song do you have prepared?"

"I'm going to sing an a cappela version of 'Aloha Oe' originally written by Queen Lili'uokalani of Hawai'i," I replied, proud that I had said both Hawaiian words perfectly. 

"That's an interesting choice. Any reason you picked that particular song?"

"My mother's family comes from Hawai'i. Hawaiian history is part of who I am, so I think it would be a good selection for the audition to define me as a person for the company." 

The questioner seemed to accept my reply, writing something down on a sheet of paper.

"Alright, please begin," another one of the auditioners said. I took a deep breath. Three years of being in musicals couldn;t be for nothing, right? I was a proud second soprano. I had a decent voice. I began.

"Ha'aheo ka ua i na pali

Ke nihi a'ela i ka nahele...

H hahai ana paha i ka liko

Pua 'ahihi lehua o uka.

Aloha 'oe, aloha 'oe

E ke onaona noho i ka lipo

One fond embrace,

Aho'i a'e au

Until we meet again."

"That's good, Melissa. So, you can sing in Hawaiian. Can you speak any other languages besides English?"

"Yes. My second language is Spanish, and I'm taking my second year of Japanese right now. I also know many words in Korean."

The woman who had told me to start singing leaned over, and I heard her whisper "She's confident" in Korean. Once again, the man wrote something down. I just continued to look straight at him.

"Alright, now let's see your dance."

I'd practiced this all of the previous night. I had it. "I'm going to perform a self-choreographed dance to Super Junior's 'Be My Girl.' I chose this because, since it's not a major hit, there would be no dances to compare it to." 

I did my dance, letting the music of one of my favorite songs take over. I felt my hips move, my hair toss, my feet spinning on their own. I'd realized a while ago that I wasn't so bad at teaching myself dances. It was when other people tried to teach me that we had a problem. 

I stopped after the first refrain, looking at them and catching my breath. He wrote something else down. 

"Very good. So, what are you interested in doing in our company?"

This was it. The question I'd been waiting for. 

"I want to be a songwriter."

"Excuse me? That wasn't one of the options."

"I know. But it should have been. Of all the things SM Entertainment has at its hands, it has a distinct lack of songwriters that actually understand English. I'm sick of trying to get people to listen to SM's music only to have them laugh at the ridiculousness of the few English words. It turns them away. It's SM's weak point. It's the one thing that turns away possible fans. If they can fix the English, I can guarantee hundreds more people would listen to it. And I'm saying that I can do that for SM."

The main auditioner sat back in his chair thoughtfully. "You think you can do that? Songwrite for us? Do you have any songwriting experience?"

"I wrote English covers for three SM songs. If you want to hear them..."

"No, that's alright. Have you written anything else?" 

"I've written plenty of poetry. With some of my pieces I've been able to win various speaking contests."

He considered for a moment. I continued to look straight at him. There was no way I was backing down now. Finally, he said, "If you can't be a songwriter for our company, is there anything else you can do?" 

"I've been a stage actress for a long time. I have a few acting talents that can be considered valuable."

"Is that so? Well, show us what you have prepared."

I remembered the monologue from BBM, my first professional play. I went through the whole thing, building emotion in my voice until I got to the end. "If It's taken your pain and Aunt Kate's anger to get me to start living again, then God will give me the strength to make it up to you, but I will not go back to being that frightened, helpless woman that I created! ...I've already buried someone I love. Now it's time to bury someone I hate." 

Even before they had seen it, I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks. My greatest pride as an actress:

I could make myself cry.

 They watched for a long time, saying nothing. 

"That's all," I finished. 

I could see them thinking for a long time. Almost all of them were writing things down. I waited, not looking away. 

"Alright, Melissa. One last question: what made you interested in SM Entertainment?"

For the first time during that interview, I hesitated. How should I answer? Because I'd heard that their management was the best? No, that's an outright lie. Because... I really wanted to go to Korea? No, that made it sound like I wanted a free ride to go on vacation. I couldn't say the only real reason I had- that I really liked SM's artists, and that I wanted to meet some of them. What to do? What to do?

"I'm interested in SM because I'm impressed by its artists. If those artists can be so good, I hope that SM would be able to make me into an artist as skilled as they are," I finally answered. 

The main auditioner tapped his finger on the desk for a moment, then motioned for the assistant to open the door. "That is all, Melissa. You may go."

I waited until the door had closed behind me to collapse on the floor.