"Okay, so explain this to me one more time," My father said, his voice icily calm. "You went to go visit your grandma and grandpa in California, and while you were there, you auditioned for this... Korean entertainment company. When did you plan on telling us this?"

"I... I had no idea they'd actually take me. Since I figured that they'd never even bother telling me I hadn't gotten in, I didn't think... it was really... that important..." I shrunk back, doing the best I could to blend into the wall, because my father's glare was terrifying. My sister said I had a death glare. Yeah, I got that from my father. 

"So why'd you audition in the first place?!"

"I was THERE!" I suddenly yelled. "For once in my life, something was happening, and I was there!" I exploded. "I took a chance, Dad. I knew the odds weren't good, but I did something for me. Just one thing. It's not like I spent my time in California doing drugs and partying!" I was sick of hiding from my dad. The words, built up from the years of a father who disapproved of my hobbies, spilled out of my mouth in a torrent.

"I know you don't understand my obsession with Asia. I know you want me to listen to 80's music or country instead of modern dance-pop, and not Kpop. You don't approve of modern American music because of its and hate-filled connotations, and you don't approve of Kpop, even though its songs speak of real love, fun times with friends, or encouraging words that remind you to be the best you can and respect yourself. They're songs that I can relate to. You don't have to like it, Dad, but you can't stop me from doing so. Why has it taken you until now to figure that out?!"

My dad seemed surprised more than he was angry, just then. It had been years since I had last exploded like this to him. For the longest time, I had simply ducked my head and taken things as they were. 

"I could say something like, 'I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad,' but you already know that. And for a long time, I've done what you wanted me to. I've been obedient and understanding, even when I didn't like it. But when I was in California, standing in front of those judges, for the first time I realized that the person I'd been living around you wasn't who I really was. The person that stood in front of the auditioners and demanded that they needed a proper English-speaking songwriter... that was who I am. And it's who I am now."

I met my father's gaze. My words had run out, and now all I had was to look straight into my father's eyes and not back down. Just as I had during the audition.

We stood like that for a long time. Glaring straight into each other's eyes, not even blinking, my mother watching us both, not sure what to do. We'd done that many times over the course of my life. Usually I backed down first. This time, though, I wasn't going to do it. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, it happened. My dad raised his hand as if to let it fly across my face, and then...

Let it drop.

"You don't have to approve, Dad. But I'm going. I can do things for SM that I can't do for people here. Whether you like it or not, I'm leaving with that representative in July."

Saying no more, he walked out the door.

I looked at my mother. "I'm sorry, Mom."

She shook her head. "Don't be. You know that I've said I'd support you no matter what you decide to do with your life. If this is what you want to do, then go ahead and do it. Go to Korea. Writesongs. meet those people you've gushed about who knows how many times. On one condition, though."

"What?"

"I'm going with you."

"What?! MOM!"

"You're sixteen. If you're going to a foreign country, I want you to have some kind of chaperone."

I thought about it for a second. "Well, I guess James wouldn't mind going with me..."

My mother gave me a pointed look. "I like James, Mel, but I think he's just a bit young to be your chaperone."

Changing the topic, I said, "So... you're okay with it?"

"I am. If you think you can do well there, then you be my guest. But if you decide that it's not for you; you get your right back here. Do you understand?"

I was close to tears. "What about him?" I asked, nodding towards the door my father had disappeared through.

"He'll calm down. I think he's just having a hard time accepting that you want to go so far away. I think somehwere in him, he's happy for you, but the rest of him is worried for you, and it's coming across as anger."

"So I should just give him time?"

"Yup. He has until July. Plenty of time. We'll figure this out when the representative comes."

I went back up to my room, my heart and mind full with what I had transpired.

First, I was going to South Korea to be a trainee for SM Entertainment.

Second, my father was furious about it. 

Third, I'd be leaving my home in July. My friends, my family... I would be alone in South Korea. 

Fourth, I hated SM Entertainment.

And yet... I still wanted to go.

I went up to my room and, my hands shaking, picked up my cell phone. The first number I called, for some reason, was James. We weren't the best of friends, so I didn't call him very often.

"Hello? This is James. Mel?"

"Um... James?"

"Yeah?"

"I've... uh... been accepted... to SM."

There was a silence on the other end. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to South Korea, James. To be a trainee for SM Entertainment."

The noise on the other end exploded. "What, REALLY?! When did you find out? When are you going? Have you told your sister? Can I go with you?"

I answered all of the questions at once. "Yes, really. Today. July. No, you're the first person I've called. And what do you mean, can you go with me?!"

"Exactly what I said! I'm going with you!"

"No, James, you can't-"

"I can pack! I'll pay for myself!"

"James! That's the same thing that my mother said!"

"Really?"

"And believe me, the first words out of my mouth were, 'I'm sure James wouldn't mind coming with me.'"

"You'd be right! Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for you! How did you do it?!"

"Ummm... I have no idea."

So, I'd say that breaking the news to my friends was probably the most stressful part of the whole thing. All of them wanted information I didn't have. All of them insisted that I bring them with. Emily said that if I could get into SM, she could get into TS for B.A.P. Jacklyn demanded that I give her autographs if I ever met NU'EST or BigBang. And every single one of them refused to let me go if I didn't send pictures. Eliz threatened to lock me in her basement and only feed me cat food if I didn't consent. Now that's a terrifying thought. I hate the taste of cat food. 

What I worried about the most, however, was breaking the news to my family. How was I supposed to tell my father's family that I was leaving Wisconsin to become a trainee for a South Korean entertainment company? I didn't want to tell them one at a time, or over the phone; I didn't even call my sister. I wanted to tell her at the same time as everyone else. Finally, an opportunity arrived. Our family's bi-annual bowling party. Everyone would be there; I could tell them all at once. Of course, that meant that I would have to deal with all of their opinions at once, but at least that way I'd only have to do it one time.

My dad seemed to have forgotten about the whole thing by the time we were getting ready in the morning to go to the bowling alley. Of course, I had not. I had prepared myself, figured out what I was going to say, and when I was going to say it.

We arrived, like usual, about fifteen minutes late, and commenced playing the game, eating pizza, and having basic fun. Of course, my Aunt Wendy and Tessa had their usual tournament, cursing when they did badly. They were a wonderful family, and I loved them. I would miss them.

My heart pounding, as soon as the first game finished, I stood up. 

"Um, everyone? I... have an announcement to make," I practically yelled, so that I could bring everyone's attention to me. They all looked, waiting patiently.

"During my spring break, I went to California to visit my maternal grandmother. While I was there, a South Korean music company that I'm very familiar with was holding auditions, and, with the encouragement of my grandma... I went. I went in with a ninety-percent certainty that I would not even get considered. But... I did."

They looked at me confusedly, so I explained, "Everyone, I'm... going to go to South Korea. I'm going to be a trainee for SM Entertainment. I don't know exactly when, but a representative's going to come in July, and... I just thought you might all want to know."

They looked at me in silence for a while, running it through their heads, I guess. Then, suddenly, I felt myself being lifted into the air.

"Come on, you guys! Mel's going to be famous! Let's give her five spanks for good luck!" My Aunt Wendy yelled. Oh, crap! Not the spanks! 

Well, at least my family was being supportive. ...I think.

By the time we got home most of the pain in my had subsided, but the thought of my family being excited for me didn't. Jackie was upset that I didn't tell her earlier, but was jumping up and down in happiness. Tessa, however, had been the one doing the vast majority of my congratulatory spankings. 

I sat down in the living room and opened up my copy of 1984. I was barely halfway through the chapter when my dad sat down next to me.

"Put the book down for a second."

I did, cautiously. 

"Look, Mel, if you really want to go, that's your decision. I'm just worried that you'll regret it. You'll be miles away from your family, in a completely foreign country. You won't fit in. And people might make it hard for you because of that."

"Dad, I can take care of myself. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think I could. I didn't think seriously about auditioning. Since I doubted that I'd make it, I didn't really think about leaving, and how it would affect you guys. But... when I got that call, I realized that I really did want to go."

"And if that's your decision, then fine, I'll support you. But what about your brother?"

I can't say I hadn't thought about it. My little brother was five years younger than me, and I was fiercely protective of him. I made him breakfast in the mornings. I played with him. I watched movies with him. There had been plenty of times where my only reason to come home was Pat. I'd thought about it endlessly for weeks. But...

"It was going to happen eventually," I finally replied, "I was going to go to college, move out of the house. What difference is one year earlier?"

My dad nodded. "Alright, then. But don't expect too much help." He smiled. "And when you start to make a buttload of money, make sure you send it back home so I can retire!"

Well, my dad had changed his mind. Determination can get me something, at least. Although, I suppose, that may have been what started this whole thing in the first place.