I had two days to pack, prepare, and inform everyone of where I was going. The first of the two days was Saturday, so it would be my last day at school before my trip. I did my best to get all of my assignments ahead of time, and then met John during lunch. He just laughed at me.

"Tell me when this reality show comes out, because I want to watch it. Mel digging around in the sh-"

"John!"

"Sorry. Anyway, have fun down in Jeolla-do. I hear it's wonderful this year." He chuckled. "I'll be happy to get rid of you."

"Hahaha," I laughed sarcastically. Nice joke. Wait, he was kidding, right? Right? it was hard to tell with John.

The harder one to tell was Henry. I didn't want to just text it to him, but I couldn't seem to find him. Finally I asked one of the desk ladies, and she told me that he was out of town doing some kind of event. Great. How was I going to tell him now? I didn't want to just ditch him for two weeks. While I was off learning Korean, there was no telling how far or quickly his English might fall. It had been getting pretty bad by the time I came, and I was starting to help improve it. But I guess there was no helping it.

So I went to the dorm to pack, hoping that Henry would be at SM the next day, when I would be waiting for my ride down to Jeolla-do. If not, I would have to call him. Unexpectedly, though, Min Hee had a much stronger reaction to my upcoming trip than I expected.

"What do you mean, you're going away for two weeks?! How am I going to pay for food? We've been counting on your Grandpa's donation for the past week because SM won't let me get a job! I'm going to starve while you're gone! You're going to come back home to a stick figure as a roommate!"

"You're already a stick figure," I pointed out, referring to her thin, toned waist, where I had always been a bit stumpy. I had noticed that since I had started my training, some of that jelly roll around my middle had started to disappear, though. Maybe it was from all the dancing. Not just dancing in class, but we would always go home and practice, too. Sometimes for hours. It made for a lot of sore muscles in the morning, but I felt that it really was helping me learn the moves, although it still wasn't really helping my biggest problem.

"Besides," I continued, "you can always go to the markets and beg for food. I mean, that's what the SHINee members did when they were trainees. From what I understand, Jonghyun would go to a singing competition there every week so he could try to win them some free food."

"Really?"

I shrugged. "That's what I heard, at least. From my friend Eliz. You should know this better than I do. I'm not a Shawol. If you want, you can talk to her about it. I'm leaving my computer here because I don't think I'll have a place to plug it in down there. You can use it while I'm gone, just try not to let it die."

"Chincha?"

"Nae."

"Cool! Wait, back to food. You're telling me to beg?! But that's so embarassing!"

"What do you mean? It can't be too bad. Your Oppas used to beg all the time! Heck, they still do!"

"But that's... okay, fine. I hope you suffer down there," she grumped, flopping down on her bed and pulling out her sheet music.

"Yes, thank you Min Hee. I love you, too. I didn't exactly volunteer for this, you know." She didn't answer, so I shrugged and started packing. The next hour or so I spent moving around the dorm, packing things I thought I might need. Toothbrush, toothpaste, the ten million kinds of acne cream that Min Hee got me. And insists that I put on every night. Seriously, she's like a Nazi about it. I admit, I have a bit of an acne problem, but it takes a while to wash my face with that many acne soaps, and apply that many creams. But I have to, because she'll stand over me and watch until I put it all on. I tried to get out of it once. Bad idea. She can be pretty scary when she wants to be.

Finally I was digging through my dresser, trying to find appropriate clothes to pack. I ended up tossing them into piles: one for the clothes I was taking with me, one for the clothes that I wasn't. 

"You're not taking the 'Warning, I bite' shirt? You look good in that one," Min Hee commented, looking up from her sheet music. 

"I'm going to be helping out on a farm. I'm pretty sure that looking fabulous isn't my first priority."

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess not. Not that I would know. I lived in a city my whole life."

"I didn't. I lived in a farming state. But back in Wisconsin, most of the crops we grow, we grow to feed cows. Well, not my family personally; we grew food to feed ourselves, but Wisconsinites in general, yeah. So you should be happy that it's me who's going, and not you. At least I have a general idea of what I'm going to."

"True. You'll chip your nail polish." 

I just grinned. "You think I lived all of those years with short nails, and they just got long while I came here? No, there are ways to keep your nails long, even through hard work. Let me show you, young apprentice."

"I'm older than you."

I ignored her. "Here we have a wonderful pair of gardening gloves. Put them on your hands so they sit just right. Your hands may get dirty, but they'll dull down the trauma on your hands. Also, when you come in from the garden, make sure you wash your hands with soap plus lotion, so the dirt is washed off, and won't further dry your hands, and the lotion will moisten them, after being already dried out by the dirt. In this way, you can do garden work while still maintaining soft hands and long fingernails."

I grinned at her, waggling my fingernails at her. She just snorted.

"If you took care of your face as well as you take care of your hands, you'd be beautiful." 

I beamed, then went back to packing. Nothing beautiful, just things that I'm comfortable in, and can afford to get dirty. Aish, this is such a headache!

The next day, Sunday, I was waiting in the lobby for the people I'd been told would be coming at around noon for the trip down to Jeolla-do. On a whim, I'd decided to bring my ukulele with me, and had it out in my lap, looking down at a tuning guide that I'd printed off the internet. Maybe if I could sing for them, my hosts would let me off on my workload a little. It was unlikely, but worth a try. First, though, I had to figure out how to play the tiny four-stringed guitar.

Tentatively, I plucked one of the strings. It made such a funny sound, I had to try it again. 

"You playing your ukulele?" It was Henry, magically showing up out of nowhere, like he usually did. 

"It's 'oo-koo-lay-lay', not 'yoo-koo-lay-lee'," I corrected him, "and not exactly. I'm just starting to learn while I wait to get picked up."

He arched his eyebrows. "Picked up? Like what, for a date?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Henry, like I'd have a date with anyone. I spend too much time with you to get to know any guys well enough to go out with them."

"What about that Irish guy at your school? What's-his-name?"

"His name isn't 'What's-his-name', it's John. And no, it's not like that. He's my friend."

"Sure, that's what they all say." He elbowed me jokingly, and I made a face at him. I really didn't think of John like that. At all. Actually, the thought hadn't even mildly crossed my mind. I mean, seriously. I wasn't in denial. I totally hadn't even considered that people might think that John and I had more between us than friendship. 

"Okay, okay, I'm just kidding," Henry laughed. "But honestly, who's picking you up?"

"Some people with the company. I'm getting shipped off to Jeolla-do for the next two weeks."

His eyes went wide. Well, wider than usual since he already had big eyes. "Why's that?! Are they trying to get rid of you?! Keep you away from me?! Are they punishing you for something?! I'll go talk to the president. Just wait here, I'll be right back!" He stood up, but luckily I was able to grab his arm before he could take off. 

"Henry! Henry, calm down! It's just so I can learn Korean faster! I'll be helping with the rice harvest, then coming back. It's something Lee-sunsaengnim cooked up for me. It's called total immersion. No one down there speaks English, so I'll have to learn Korean, or else be confused the whole time."

He sat back down. "Oh."

I exhaled a laugh. "You're such a mother hen sometimes, you know that?"

"Can I be the golden goose instead?"

"You're going to poop out lumps of gold? That sounds kind of painful."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Eeeewwwww, thanks for putting that picture in my head." 

"You're welcome," I snickered, plucking another string on the ukulele. 

"So, you're learning to play ukulele?" He asked, changing the subject, carefully sounding out "ukulele" the way I had told him. 

"Yeah. I'm not really sure what I'm doing, though."

"Okay, I'll help you!"

I gave him a weird look. "You know how to play ukulele?"

"Nope! I'll figure it out."

Oh dear. "I'm not sure I should trust you with this thing, if you don't know how to play it."

"Hey, I know how to play guitar!" he replied indignantly, "How hard can it be?"

Turns out, it's not very hard at all. With the help of the guides I'd printed out, pretty soon Henry had it tuned and was playing with chords. By the time my entourage arrived, I was following his instructions as to where to put my fingers to make what notes. He seemed pretty proud of me, but even more proud of himself. I supposed I shouldn't be too surprised. I was pretty sure that Henry could play any instrument he put his mind to. Compared to his violin skills, the ukulele was incredibly simple. 

When they arrived, however, I had to put the ukulele back into its case, satisfied that at least I now had an idea about how it worked, thanks to Henry. 

"Well, Henry..." my eyes darted to the camera crew that was waiting for me to go with them, "Henry-sunbae, take care of yourself. See you in a couple weeks. And talk to Tiffany or something so that your English doesn't plummet while I'm gone." I held out my hand for a handshake, and he grabbed it. I expected him to shake it, but instead he used my hand to pull me toward him, and then squeezed me in a hug. 

"Gack, Henry, can't breathe!" It was true. Although it was more from shock than from the pressure of his embrace. We were Americans. Touch was something we avoided, for some reason. And that was the first time Henry had broken that rule. 

It didn't stop there, though. Instead of letting go, he picked me up off the floor and spun in a circle, laughing maniacally, "You're so puny!" Finally he put me down and let go.

"You have a crazy laugh," I joked dizzily.

He grinned. "Look who's talking." Point. I wasn't exactly normal in the laugh department either. "But hey, don't ditch me down in Jeolla-do. I know rice farming is fun, but if you don't come back in exactly two weeks, I'm going to go get you." 

"Oh, how threatening. Just don't run away from your manager again to do it, okay?"

"No promises." 

The film crew was getting impatient. My cheeks flaming, I waved goodbye to Henry, then went with them to the van that awaited to take me down to Nowhere, South Korea. 

I might as well have been in that van by myself. I was flanked by crew members, but they were about as conversational as statues. Aawwkwaard! 

Have I ever said how much I hate silence? It creeps me out. That's why I always had my headphones in, and if I didn't, I was either singing or talking to myself, just so it wouldn't be totally silent. 

Like it was right about then. Extremely uncomfortable, I joked, "This is the first vacation I've had in a month." 

No answer.

"Does... anyone want to play cards?"

No answer. I felt like I was a prisoner. I was going to have a meltdown if someone didn't say something soon. "I'm going to practice my ukulele now, if that's alright."

Still no answer. Well, they did it to themselves. I pulled my ukulele case out from between my feet and got out the little instrument. I looked at all of the people in the car, waiting for someone to tell me off, but no one did. Shrugging, I started plucking at it. After a few notes, I looked up again, but no one was paying any attention to me. This trip was for me, right? Maybe getting into a van with a bunch of strangers was a bad idea, even if it was for the company. 

Were they asleep? I couldn't tell; they were all wearing face masks. 

"Can we turn on the radio?" I asked, the silence stretching out in front of me. Still no response. If I wasn't crazy already, I was certainly heading that direction.

I wonder... I took out my phone and took a picture of the people surrounding me, then arranged it into a picture message for Henry. 

"Boooooored. And we're only like ten minutes out! I never realized how much I missed noise! Are you sure SM doesn't hire robots?"

I plucked the ukulele a little bit more, until my phone went off on full blast with "Off My Mind", the Henry solo I had set as his ringtone. "Oh thank goodness; he's not busy", I said out loud, but to no one in particular. At least if I could text him during the car ride, I wouldn't go completely wacko.

"Sometimes I wonder. :P" was what he'd sent back.

"Do you think they'd say something if I hit them over the head?"

I was seriously considering it. At least anger wouldn't be boring. 

"Probably not a good idea. You know what robots do to disobedient people. ;) "

Darn. 

The rest of the ride down to Jeolla-do went like that. Texting Henry. Playing the ukulele while I waited for his reply. I was starting to get the hang of the little wooden instrument, but my fingertips were getting sore. Finally, I tried to look out the front window for a guess about where we were, to find a camera trained on me. I guess this was the moment where I was supposed to talk to myself, wasn't it? Well, too bad. I was talking to Henry instead. Although for a little while there, I started plucking on the ukulele and singing, "I'm so bored, *pluck* the silence is killing me. *pluck, pluck* Please, somebody say something. *pluck, pluck pluck* I'm on a five-hour ride to nowhere... *pluck, pluck* In a car full of robots who won't say anything. *strum* I'm about to go insa~a~a~ne!!!"

I did the same thing in Korean, thinking that it should be enough food for the cameras. But then I got bored of it, and my fingers really, really, hurt. If I played much more, they were going to start bleeding. So much for taking good care of my hands. I suppose this explained why Henry had callouses on his fingertips. 

Right about the moment I decided to stop playing, I lost service for my phone. Great. We have officially just reached the boondocks of Korea. Still, we had a ways to go before we would arrive at our destination, so I plugged my headphones into my mp3 player and jammed out to "Bonamana". I even attempted a part of the dance. I had really hoped that I wouldn't have had to do that, since I didn't know if I'd be able to charge my mp3 player where I was going, and I didn't want it to die on me. But I was past the breaking point. So instead, I danced back and forth, shaking the vehicle with me. But none of my captors said anything. They didn't get annoyed. They didn't tell me to stop rocking the van. No. They just sat there, staring straight ahead, all the while with the camera trained on me. I should've been embarassed. But at that point, I just didn't care, so long as I was listening to and doing something. Maybe I really had cracked.

Salvation: we pulled into a little dirt driveway. We must be there. I looked out the window as our driver parked the van. It didn't look too bad. A nice, clean, well-maintained yard around the farmhouse, and chickens ran around the yard. I could see beef cattle out in the pasture. Not the black-and-white cows I was used to, but big, hefty brown cows. Still, it made me a bit homesick. 

Practically climbing over my bodyguards to get out of the car, I stepped out into the world of the living and took a deep breath of air. I couldn't help but smile. It was clean, fresh, country air, not like in Seoul. It smelled like home. Thousands of miles away, in a part of the world where no one spoke English, and it felt like I'd never left Wisconsin. For the first time since I'd arrived, I felt a real sense of homesickness. I knew that I'd be working my tail off in the next few days, but at least I had the spirit of a country girl in me to make it bearable. Goodbye, Seoul, hello work. Here I come.