The Super Junior dorm was disturbingly empty. The scratching sounds the scrub brush made against the wooden floors echoed around the vacant walls as I washed the floors. They'd packed quite a bit this time, leaving the entryway void of the dozens of pairs of shoes that always cluttered it despite my best efforts. 

Although I was paid to keep the dorm clean, it just looked so WEIRD being this pristine and perfect. I kept waiting for the door to open and for someone to come in with drty clothes, or a wet hat, and throw it on the floor somewhere, even though I knew it wouldn't happen for a few days yet. I bent back down to my work, using this odd opportunity to scrub out the stains on the wood floor.

Scritch-scratch scritch-scratch scritch-scratch... My mind wandered as I worked, back to the practice room less than a week before, when we all watched Sunsaeng drag Oh Soyu down the hallway. Well, everyone but me. I, instead, couldn't take my eyes off of Heenim's face. His eyes were cold and hard, as forgiving as a mountainside. He began to turn away, and, braving the shadows, I called after him. 

Scritch-scratch scritch-scratch scritch-scratch... I'd asked him why he was there, and after a long silence he said that he'd heard about the little girl, too. He'd come to tell her to get out of the company. He didn't need fans who alienated each other. But he got there just after everything happened.

When I asked him if he was going to tell Sungmin, he'd grinned. "Of course", he'd replied.

"Are you really going to be that cruel?" I'd asked. "She's just a kid. And she's already going to get kicked out of the company. She's already losing almost everything."

"I tried living as a very nice person, but there’s no need to be nice .. you have to be mean to survive." he'd said finally, before beginning to walk briskly down the hallway. He'd said it before, I knew. It was another one of those strange moments when the words that come out of his mouth described a huge part of your life. "Someday, you'll learn that, too. But it always comes the hard way." 

My phone rang, yanking me out of my thoughts. I snatched it out of my pocket, blinking away the memories. Heechul had been back to his usual, silly self immediately after that, anyway. He'd let me pet his cat, Heebum (HanJayHeebum). We'd gotten along just fine until he'd had to leave. Still, that period of time disturbed me.

It was a text message from Min Hee. "Hey, can John come watch us practice tonight?"

"So long as he doesn't turn it into a o," I texted back, "see you then."

I put the phone down and looked over at my purse. My two slected pieces of music stuck out of the top, white sheets of paper against an otherwise pale purple bag.

 I pulled them out, sighing and looking down at the title. One was the song Min Hee and I were performing as a duet, the other was the song I had chosen to sing myself. I wanted to do it, but... it was going to be hard. 

"Are you sure you want to sing this song, Mel?" Min Hee had asked. "It's in your range, but the way you have to sing it... since she wasn't really trained in chest-singing like we were, a lot of the notes are belted. Not your head voice. It'll be pretty stressful on your throat..."

I wanted to sing it. Especially with Lily in SM now, I wasn't so confident of anything anymore. I picked that song because it conveyed those feelings. 

I shoved the sheet music back into the bag, looking at my watch. Almost time to go. 

Quickly, I rinsed the floor and dried it off, gathered my stuff, and headed to my dance class.

Okay, so it wasn't really a dance class at the time. Not while everyone was preparing for the exhibition. Pretty much everyone used the time to practice their dance performances, and get pointers from Sunsaeng if they needed it. I, on the other hand, wasn't doing a dance performance, unlike the vast majority of the other trainees. I'm just not a dancer, okay? 

Instead I used the period to help the other girls, videotaping their practices so they could see what to improve, and if nobody needed me that day, I would go to the vocal training room for some extra practice. Nakata-sensei was usually happy to help me. 

Today I went to the practice room, to check if anyone needed help. Strange, though-- as I approached, I didn't hear the usual chatter of congregated estrogen. The practice room was oddly empty. Maybe they were all practicing somewhere else? I went in, curious.

"Took you long enough." It was Lily. I had no idea what her last name was. I didn't care. As much as I tried to put the blame of the incident on little Soyu for giving her the tapes, Lily wasn't without blame, either. She had, after all, needed to see the tapes in order to get the performances that accurately close. Meaning that she had been copying them, and had known it. A good person might have forgiven her. I am not a good person. 

She stood up straight, her arms crossed. "Everyone else is out getting snacks. It's just me and you." She had an annoying California accent, which never bothered me when Tiffany spoke, but for some reason always got under skin when Lily spoke. Although this was actually the first time she'd spoken to me since her arrival at SM a few days previous. I'd generally done a fairly good job at avoiding her.

"Awwwww, you waited for me? I'm touched," I crooned cruelly. 

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Queen Be," she shot back, grimacing at my pen name as if it were some disgusting insect. Which, by the way, I would be happy to drop down the back of her shirt. 

"What do you want?" I asked clearly.

"I'm just straightening things out, before we have too many issues with each other."

"You're not a Super Junior fan trying to keep me away from my oppas, are you? Like your sister?" I was careful to say "Super Junior fan" and not "ELF".

She scoffed. "Absolutely not. I'm not wasting my time bothering with those ugly old men. That was my stupid little sister. Stepsister. She's always annoying, begging me for help whenever she gets in trouble."

It took every ounce of control I had in me to not launch across the room and beat her until she was an eternal vegetable in some hospital room. It was always my first instinct when someone insulted Super Junior, even though it was always the ELF's policy to calmly convince them that they were ignorant idiots.

"Then why are you here, if you're not interested in revenge?"

She smiled infuriatingly. "Of course, I want to be a star. Loved by everyone, rich and famous... even Korean. I belong here. Soyu gave my an opportunity. I took it." She continued to grin, like she'd won something. "But I didn't want to talk to you so that I could tell you why I'm here. I wanted to tell you that you might as well pack your bags."

"Excuse me?" She must be kidding. I'd already packed my bags twice. I wasn't going to do it again.

"Let's just face it. The company isn't going to keep all of the trainees. And if the news leaks that our training material is the same, the public is going to suspect one of us of cheating. Whoever the company says it is is going to get cut. It'll happen eventually. However things turn out, one of us is going home."

"And you're making the assumtion that it's going to be me?" I growled, imagining my fingernails sharpening to points and tearing out her eyes. 

She sighed, stepping closer. "Oh, come on, Minsung. We both know that you're not cut out for this company! You're not Korean, or even Asian. Do you think just because you can babble in their languages makes you one of them? Don't be ridiculous. Look at yourself. You're blonde, pale and short. Nobody thinks you're beautiful. You can't even dance, and SM's artists are known for dancing. What happens to their reputation if they debut you? You don't belong here. It'd be better for both of us if you just saved yourself the pain and quit now. I'm sure your precious boys will understand."

I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her. Rip out and stab her in the chest multiple times with her own windpipe, I thought. But that wouldn't really keep me in the company.

I took a deep breath, controlling my angry thoughts. "Look, Lily. I'm going to say this as simply as I can. Yes, you are talented. Yes, you can do a lot of things that I can't. But if you think that's going to make me quit, then you really know nothing about me. I will stay in this company, because I can contribute something they have a lack of. There are plenty of pretty girls able to sing and dance. But that's not why I'm here. So get that through your head, and we'll get along just fine."

I whipped around, knowing that the only way to avoid strangling her was to get away. Looks like I'd be going to the vocal training room after all.

Bzzzzzzt.... bzzzzzzt.... bzzzzzt....

With my eyes closed, I fumbled along the bedside table for my phone. My brain was still in sleep mode, and the phone's buzzing was the whir of the wings of an annoying insect. I'd practiced way too long the previous night.

I peeled my eyes open and opened the phoe to see the screen, temporarily blinded by the LED screen. When my eyes adjusted, I saw Min Hee, in the other bed, roll over away from the light. I focused on the letters on the phone screen while it stopped buzzing in my hand.

"Call from: Lee Sung-min."

My eyes popped open and I jerked the phone up to my ear. "Oppa?!" I croaked.

"I'm back from Osaka. Is today okay?"

I sat upright, pushing my blankets off of me. "Of course, Oppa! I'll see you soon!"

"I thought you didn't like bikes?" Sungmin asked, walking next to me. 

I made a face at him. "I love bikes. I'm just a little bit uncomfortable about motorbikes. I knew Oppa had a bike, though."

I crouched to see the engraving on the side of his bike, running my fingers over it. "On this side, it says 'Lee Sungmin'... and on this side..." I went around it to touch the other set of swirly white letters, "it says 'Super Junior'. But I've never seen Oppa ride his bike."

"I don't generally go places where I can be seen."

I smiled happily. "But today it's okay to be seen."

He smiled back, running his hand over my own's bike's handlebars. "This is Minsung's bike?"

I patted its lovely blue-gray metal frame. "She's a mountain bike, actually. Seven speeds, three gears. My aunt gave her to me for a birthday gift. A pretty good gift, too. I ride her as much as I can. cheaper transportation around the city, too. Sure beats walking or waiting in traffic."

"Honestly, when I said you were in charge of today's date, I didn't think of this."

My face fell. "Do you not like it? I'm sorry..."

Sungmin stopped, frowning at me. "I never said that! This is going to be fun!"

I felt the grin split my face in two. "Good!" I squeaked, trowing my leg over the bike seat, "race you to the end of the path!" I laughed, already speeding away.

"Ya! You got a head start!" I heard him yell, then jump on his own bike and start after me.

I wasn't going full-speed, in fact, I was waiting for him, laughing when he caught up. "Oppa! You're faster than I thought!" 

"I have to excercize everyday!"

I sped up, whizzing ahead of him. "Not the only one, Oppa."

We slowed down to a regular speed, leisurely swooping down the path in the park. I pointed out the scenery I thought pretty, smiling when he agreed. Everything was perfect.

Of course, we weren't on a very hidden path. As we pedalled by, people saw us, took pictures, and posted them on the internet. I wasn't afraid, though. This was what we wanted. Instead, I would get closer to him, act even more intimate. Because as far as the world needed to know, I was his girlfriend.

Eventually, when our legs began to ache, we stopped and pulled our bikes up to a spot in the path, next to a bench. I leaned over from the bench, grabbing my water bottle from my bike's holder. I took a long drink, then held it out to Sungmin. "Need a drink, Oppa?"

He took it from me, taking a good long drink, then gave it back. "That was much more tiring than I thought it would be."

"That's because Oppa is too slow. Less motorbike, more bicycle!" I nudged him with my shoulder, teasingly, but in reality was just edging closer. 

"I don't bike to my schedule every day, like you."

"I don't bike every day. It's pretty inconvenient in the winter. But it's good enough, I guess." I yawned, tempted to rub my eyes, but knowing I would smudge my makeup. I'd taken to wearing it whenever I was on a date with Sungmin, so I would look slightly more suitable for him. 

"Are you tired?" he asked, seeming concerned. 

"A little," I confessed, stifling another yawn, "I went to bed late last night."

"I'm sorry I called you so early."

"No, that's okay, Oppa. I'm really happy you called. It takes my mind off of the stressful stuff. Like Lily, that little bi- sorry. That little... girl-that-really-gets-under-my-skin. It's much less stressful to be here with Oppa." I noticed a few of the people passing on the path staring at us, noticing the way I leaned against him. I'd stopped controlling myself against these things, since I always wanted to do them anyway. It helped the cause, so why not? Take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves. 

"Why don't you take a nap?" Sungmin asked, looking at me.

"Here? Now?"

"I don't have anywhere to be, for once. The company actually gave me today so I could spend time with you," he explained innocently, not able to see the way my face spasmed as I was reminded that this was all the company's scheme. It made it much less enjoyable to flirt or cuddle. Really, SM just took all of the fun out of things. 

"It is a pretty nice day out..." I muttered. "Promise you won't do anything weird to me while I'm asleep?"

He laughed. "I promise. I'll be good. You can even use my lap as a pillow."

I jerked up straight. "Chincha?!" When he shrugged, I eagerly stretched out on the bench, laying my head on the top of his thigh. "Oooohhh, Donghae-oppa was right... Sungmin-oppa has really firm thighs..."

I felt, rather than heard, Sungmin laugh, from the way I could feel his body shake under my head. I closed my eyes, absolutely loving the situation as it was. Fangirl bucket list item #24, "lay on Oppa's lap", complete. 

I twitched a little when I felt fingers in my hair. "Minsung-ah... your hair is so soft..." I heard him say.

I really love it when people play with my hair. Just the little tingly feeling I get in my scalp. It didn't matter who it was, it could put me to sleep so long as it didn't hurt. It was very soothing for me. 

All I could manage was a happy little "Mmmmmph." He continued to my hair, pulling me deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. Soon enough I was out of the world altogether, although I still felt the sensation of his fingers running softly through my hair. The last thing I thought before the bike path faded away was "If people didn't know that we were dating before, they'll know now. Everyone is looking at us."

At some point I woke up, found that Sungmin had fallen asleep as well, sitting up, and realized that more and more people had entered the park, since morning had already faded to afternoon while I was asleep, and I was hungry.

One of them, I was pretty sure, was a journalist for a magazine or something, and was taking plenty of pictures of us. Not that I cared, but I could only wonder what kind of articles would be written about us. Negative? Positive? 

I sat up, fixing my hair. Next to me, Sungmin breathed deeply in his sleep, an occasional snore sneaking out of his throat. Snoring actually annoyed me, usually, because my father had always snored really loud during my childhood, loud enough that you could hear it throughout the whole house. Aside from the snoring, though, Sungmin looked really peaceful in his sleep. Adorable, as usual, but effortless. I knew I had to, but I didn't want to wake him up.  "Minsung-ah..." I heard him say, startling me. Was he dreaming about me?! I leaned closer, wondering if he would say something else. Actually, it was me who usually talked in my sleep. "I'm sorry for stealing you from him..." he muttered, then snored again.

"Stealing me from him? Stealing me from who?" I asked aloud. Unfortunately, I wouldn't get an answer, because my voice must have woken him up. He opened his eyes groggily, breathing deeply. "Minsung-ah, you're awake..."

I gulped, still wondering about his sleep-talking. "I just woke up."

"I fell asleep listening to you talk in your sleep."

My cheeks flushed. "Did I... say something embarassing?"

"I don't know. You were speaking in English. All I really understood was 'oppa' and 'I love you'. I fell asleep after that."

I exhaled, glad that I hadn't said accidentally said anything about my dream, which, I confess, had been quite . "Well, I think we should go before we get swarmed. I know we're getting seen on purpose, but... it'll make it difficult to get out of here." I stood up, stretching and going to my bike. "Shall we go, Oppa?"

He nodded and stood up, staggering a little, because he didn't wake up very easily. "Okay," he answered, standing up. "but wait, I almost forgot something." 

Before I could really wonder what he had almost forgotten, he had taken ahold of my hand and was sliding a thin metal object onto one of my fingers. My jaw dropped open, and I couldn't help staring wide-eyed at him. He held up his hand, showing me the matching ring on his own finger. "Couple rings."

I gulped and looked back at my hand. "Oh... of course. Thank you, Oppa. You're so thoughtful."

He shrugged and we got on our bikes, speeding away down the path. I knew the whole while that the bike was on the ground, but it felt like it was going through the clouds.

I felt a bit sad when we got back to the company, and he had to leave. It meant I wouldn't be with him. Still, I couldn't help but feel ridiculously happy for the rest of the day. I danced around the company, eagerly greeting every single person I met. I completely avoided Lily, not wanting to destroy my good mood by seeing her wretched face. I knew I had to practice, but I didn't really feel like singing the song I had chosen for my exhibition, because it made me feel slightly depressed. Instead I went into the vocal training room to type a new song that was spinning its way through my head. 

Of course, through everything I did, the glint of the little silver ring on my finger wouldn't stop catching my eye. A couple ring. To me, it meant one thing-- mine, mine, mine, MINE. I kept wanting to touch it, just to make sure that it was still there. 

Of course, I got distracted from song-writing by checking the internet. Sure enough, pictures of me and Sungmin were already top news, and everyone's favorite was the one where I had my head in his lap and he was looking down at me, my hair. Pictures from our night at the riverside were gaining popularity, too.A lot of the comments were about how people were happy that we weren't trying to hide it anymore. Some were wondering who I was. Of course, then there was that annoying mass of comments about him dating an ugly foreign girl, that I probably had AIDS, that I'd make him start acting like an American... etc. 

This didn't do anything to destroy my mood, though, so I continued to write my song, checking it with Nakata-sensei to see if it was good. I wrote, then sang, then wrote some more, then sang again. Most of them were random bits of ridiculously happy songs. Finally my class time was up, and I bowed to Sensei, humming as I walked out of the room, glancing one more time at my couple ring. 

"Hey, Zhou Mi!" I called cheerfully as I came out of the vocal training room just in time to see him pass. He must not have heard me, though, because he didn't stop.

"Mimi! Wait for me!" Still he didn't, almost seeming to walk faster instead.

He must be trying to prank me, I thought. He's rushing to hide around the corner so he can jump out and scare me. He'd done it multiple times before, and succeeded every time, so this time I was determined to prevent it altogether, running to catch up to him. The previous event of the day had put me in too good of a mood to let him destroy it by embarassing me. 

When I managed to catch up to him, though, his expression was not playful and charming, like I had expected, but instead a cold, black, barely contained rage that I had only ever seen from Heechul, my father, and myself. It was never the kind of burning fury I attributed to Zhou Mi. 

The look astonished me so much that I put my hand on his arm, to make him notice that I was there. "Mimi, are you okay? You look..."

"I'm fine," he grumbled, savagely jerking his arm out from under my hand and walking faster.

"You're definitely not fine," I countered, stepping in front of him so he'd be forced to either stop or run into me. "I've never, ever seen you angry. Not like this."

His gaze burned holes in my face, before he turned and shouldered his way past me. I whipped around, again snatching his wrist to stop him. "Zhou Mi, seriously, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything-- anything at all-- and I'll listen. You know that, right?"

He turned back to me, stepping closer until I could feel his breath ruffling my hair. His pulse was rapid, I could feel from my hold on his wrist. It beat with his rage in all the intensity of a professional drumline. 

"I didn't beg the company to let you stay just so you could be Sungmin's girlfriend," he growled in a half-yell that made me want to be one of Yesung's turtles, so I could retreat into my shell.

"But-" I started, my mind forming words that wouldn't come out. The realization that he was angry at ME had dried up my mouth, leaving me stunned and unable to speak. but it's just an act, I thought, It's just an act to get the media off our backs. It'll be over soon enough. But I didn't say any of that, because part of me didn't want it to just be an act. Part of me wanted it to be real, and if I told him it was all pretend, I would be lyinf to him. And I couldn't make myself lie to him.

"This is a joke, right? Funny, ha-ha?" I teased, trying to return my mood to the lightheartedness of only a minute before.

Zhou Mi, however, did not seem to be kidding. He yanked his wrist out of my grasp, not even seeming to cae that my fingernails scraped his skin. "I hope you have fun on your next date," he hissed as he continued his stomp down the hallway. The venom he'd poured into the words melted right through any remains of my earlier joyful self, and I felt my face fall, my heart contract.

"Mimi!" I called after him, hearing my voice quaver. He halted, his fists clenching so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Don't," he commanded, not turning to look at me, "call me that."

With that, he continued down the hallway, his fists clenched at his sides. I just stood there watching him go with my jaw hanging open in stunned silence. I felt my whole body start to shake, and then the first of the tears slid soundlessly down my cheeks. He'd forced the noise right out of me. My body didn't even have the sound enough left to make me sob.