"We've been trying! The song is great, but there are no artists who have sung both versions satisfactorily enough to be the performer! They always mispronounce the English version!" I heard the director argue over his phone. "Tiffany Hwang was one of the ideas, but her voice range is too low. This is a song for a higher pitched voice. Yes, it has to be perfect. Because of Queen Be's role, we're getting international attention. No, Jessica Jung is unavailable. We need to find someone! It's going to be one of the main songs!" 

He hung up the phone angrily, his face red. He sighed, calming himself down. "I'm sorry, Queen Be. The song you wrote for us is great, but we're having troubles finding someone to perform it. It's very problematic. They don't have to be native English speakers, all they have to do is to pronounce it right. But no one can do that."

I shrugged. "I'm sorry, Shiljjang-nim. I'm doing what I can to help, but..."

"Queen Be, what if you recorded a preview version, so they can listen to it and understand what they need to do?"

"A- a preview? Well, sir, I'm not a singer..."

"It's not the real version. Just sing it for a reference. You know how it goes, right?"

"Of course, Shiljjang-nim. Should I?"

"Here, go on into the recording studio. We'll listen to it and tell you how it goes. Just try it. You have perfect English, right?"

"Yes, Shiljjang-nim."

Before I knew it, I was in the recording room, a pair of headphones over my ears, and a group of people looking at me through the glass. I gulped, trying to focus before I began.

The drama, and thus the song, was about the Korean War, the two sides of Korea split in two. One character was a North Korean soldier who is injured in combat, and is in the hospital through most of the drama, and pretends to hate the main character, but actually loves her. The other is a South Korean soldier who falls in love with the main character, and keeps trying to convince her of his love. The main character is split, and the song was both about the love triangle and the war in general. Actually, a very dark song. 

I watched for the director's cue, then listened as the music began. 

"Neither will give up, neither will concede,
The forces clash and fight for me.
One will lose, what will the other gain?
I cannot let one die while the other remains.

You who can promise me nothing,
why is your smile so sweet?
You who can promise me everything,
why do I shy away each time we meet?

The rain falls and falls on both sides.
Drops of tears and blood cross the divide.
Shattered families and broken dreams,
filling eerie silence with guilty screams.

My heart is torn--
the one who needs me or the one I need.
The divide will only kill, and the living will mourn,
and bloody earth will grow no seed.

Not even love will heal this tear,
for it is love that broke this land.
A war against themselves that wore their hearts bare.
and those bare hearts yearn for the touch of my hands.

The rain falls and falls on both sides,
drops of tears and blood cross the divide.
Shattered families and broken dreams,
filling eerie silence with guilty screams."

Great, now for the . Really, really high notes. Can I do this? I have to try. And put everything into it. It's just a preview, so why not? Do your best.

There is nothing but pain upon the divide.
I worry and pray and hope and cry,
that someday they'll both be alright...

But the rain still falls on both sides.
My tears and blood flow across the divide.
Two shattered families and two shattered dreams,
filling heartbreaking silence with nightmarish screams.
Their hands both reach for me across the divide,

but I can only save one."

I took the headphones off, looking up at the director. He gave me a thumbs-up, and then started clapping. I put the headphones on the stand, walking out into the mixing room. "Did I do okay? I was trying to think of it from Rosaline's perspective..."

"Fantastic! We're putting it on the soundtrack!"

"What?! I thought you said it was just a preview!"

"That's what we had intended, I admit, but you sang it with so much emotion, we decided that no one could sing it better! We're sending your company the song when we finish mixing it. You can be promoted as a singer, too! Queen Be, this is great! Maybe once your company hears this, they'll let you make an album!"

"I'm... wow. That's... amazing, Shiljjang-nim. Thank you so much... this is..."

"You don't have to thank me, Queen Be. Just continue to do well as Rosaline, and I'll consider it even. Alright?"

"Nae, Shiljjang-nim."

"Good. Now you'd better go for the filming today."

"Nae, Shiljjang-nim." I bowed and left, still marvelling at what had just occurred. Not only was I a rookie playing the main character of a major drama, but I was singing the main song on the soundtrack, that I had written? This drama was practically made for me, it seemed.

"Okay... how about... B6?"

"You almost got his eye! So close!"

My laptop was open to a webchat with Jacklyn, and in front of me I had a picture of Heechul's face that had lines running across it, making it into a grid. Many of the boxes had pins poking through them, ruining the picture.

"Darnit! Okay, your turn."

"D15."

"His right nostril." She picked up her own picture, briefly showing it to me. 

"Score! How many points would you say that would be?"

"Five? It was ten for the middle of the eye."

"Fair enough."

I heard a knock on the door, and Jung Ah went to get it, opening it for the guest. I ignored him, intent on the game.

"Ya! Are you playing a game of Battleship with my face?!" 

I jumped, rolling onto my back to see Heechul looking down at me. "Umm... no. Okay, yes. But hey, you deserve it! You ate my cheese!"

"You're mad because I ate your cheese?! It's just cheese!"

"It's not just cheese, Heenim! It's Wisconsin cheese! Totally different story! I had to have that shipped to me! It takes forever to get more of, don't you understand?! I looked forward to eating it every day, and then you ate it..."

"Heechul-oppa, you really shouldn't eat a Wisconsin Girl's cheese," Jacklyn interjected.

"And who's this?" Heechul asked, looking at the monitor of the screen. "How do you know Korean? You look American."

"I am American, silly," Jacklyn answered, "I'm one of Mel's friends. I'm learning Korean in college."

"Wait, Minimin has friends?"

"Shut up, Heechul-oppa. Hey, Jacklyn, I'll talk to you later. Heenim usually comes for a reason for these things."

I cut the connection off, shutting the laptop cover and looking up at Heechul. "So what does Heenim want?"

"Well, since you're angry, I should just leave."

"No! I forgive you, okay? You know as well as I do that I can't stay angry at any of you for very long. I'm physically incapable of it."

"Okay, okay, fine. I needed to talk to you about Hankyung."

I shoved the laptop into the bag, patting the floor next to me. "You have my complete attention. Have a seat, Oppa!"

"You know it's his birthday in early February, right?"

"Absolutely."

"And the company never wants us to mention him, so it's like people are forgetting he was here. People are starting to get angry at him."

I put my hand up to silence him. "Don't worry, Oppa. I already have a plan. I'm probably going to get into really, really, really big trouble for this, since it breaks about a dozen unspoken rules, but I have a plan. The cast of Two Lands, One People has already been announced. Now that I'm an official actress, I don't think they're going to want to fire me. It's not advantageous. But I think I can get away with it, with your help."

"Tell me."

The plan was arranged-- it would be put into action when February came. Until that time, though, it was filming, filming, filming. Acting, acting, acting. Every night the hair curlers had to go in. Every day I had schedules. It took at least a week to film a single episode, and then even more time was spent on promotions. 

This particular day was a fairly interesting part. See, Hyuk Soo played an injured North Korean soldier with a spine injury. Rosaline, my character, was his nurse, and always cheerfully took care of him, no matter how rude he was to her. He doesn't trust her because she's American-- the enemy. But the drama is focused almost entirely on a Red Cross hospital set up right about on the border of the two contries as the war struggles on. They don't pick sides. Hyun Woo played the South Korean soldier, a bright, promising man completely infatuated with Rosaline. Not that I minded that.

I actually really liked my character. She was soft and gentle when she needed to be, but when something needed to be done, she would do it right away without hesitation. She loved her job just that much.

"Nurse Connor! You know this boy?"

"Oh no... he's suffering from hypothermia. Get blankets! Now!" As per the character, I started removing the top leayer of my clothes, while the other nurse pulled off Hyun Woo's jacket.

"W-what are you doing?" he asked, his lips shaking.

"I'm saving you. If your body temperature doesn't increase, you'll get really sick, maybe even die." I wrapped my tiny fram around his, laying my head on his shoulder. 

"What were you doing that you were out in the cold for so long?" I murmured. 

I heard snickering from just above me, and then the director call "Cut! NG."

I pushed away from Hyun Woo, shoving him backwards a little while he laughed. "Sunbae!" I whined, "We were doing SO good until there! Don't you think this is a little embarassing for me, too?!"

He continued to laugh, so I threw my nurse jacket at him. "That's not supposed to be funny!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Queen Be. I couldn't remember my line!"

"Of all the-- okay, start over. Once I make my face go back from red to white."  bowed to the director. "I'm sorry, Shiljjang-nim. Can we have a five-minute break?"

When he consented, I sat down on one of the hospital cots and blew a lock of hair out of my face. A bottle of water was brought to me, and I was quickly attacked by coordinator eonnis to fix my hair and makeup. I waited patiently while they worked, flipping open the script to go over my lines while I gulped water. 

Hyun Woo sat down on the cot next to me, offering a piece of kimbap. "Queen Be is really dedicated, isn't she?"

I looked up from my script. "It's my first drama. If I don't do well, it will affect how people see me from now on, so I have to do well. Sunbae is lucky. He already has a good reputation from Hana Kimi."

"Hana Kimi?"

"Oh, sorry. That's the Japanese name. To the Beautiful You, I mean. Sunbae doesn't have to make a name for himself."

"Aiyoo, that's not true. I have to do good, too. People think I'm too cute for this role. It's embarassing. But I wanted to be known for something other than the cute guy. So I tried for this drama. It's not what people see me as, so I have to act really well in order to change their views."

I took the piece of kimbap, chewing. "I didn't think of that. You're right, your character is much more serious this time around. Mine isn't too far from my own personality. Thank you for pointing that out."

"No problem. So where is Queen Be from? I know you're American, but..."

"I'm a country-dol, if you know what I mean. Almost all of the trainees that come from overseas are city citizens. But not me. When I auditioned, I was miles and miles away from home. And somehow I ended up here, miraculous as it is. Here, on the border of the Korean War."

I snorted, closing my script.

"I wondered, why you put so much heart into this character. You weren't even alive during the Korean War, and you aren't Korean..." he trailed off, looking at me.

"I can't really explain why it means so much to me. It's just... I guess... when I started to get into Kpop, I started to think of South Korea as my country, too. Does that make any sense? Anyway, every time something bad happened between North Korea and South Korea, I would get really worried, thinking 'if anything happened to my Oppas, what would I do with myself?' That's what I think of with this character. Doing everything she can to heal the tear, so maybe at least one of them can make it out alive."

"By oppas... you mean your SuJu oppas?"

"Yeah, I guess so. They mean a lot to me."

He smiled, looking away from me. "That's good. I'm glad you're here, Queen Be. You're really good at acting. Let's make a name for ourselves, okay?"

I nodded, standing up when the director declared that break time was up. "Come on, Sunbae. Let's try again. And don't laugh this time!"

Computer on, instant messaging set. Six in the morning, Korean time, four in the afternoon, Central United States time. 

"MEEEEEEEL, when is your drama coming out already?! We want to see it..." Eliz whined.

"Next week. You going to watch it?" I asked.

"No," Jacklyn answered, "our Maknae debuts in a drama, and we're just going to ignore her and refuse to watch anything she ever does."

"Hey!"

"Just kidding, just kidding. Don't worry, we'll watch every episode as soon as the subs come out on Viki. Is there a lot of English in it?"

"Yes, actually. My character doesn't know English in the beginning, so I speak almost entirely English through the first two episodes, just confusing the other two. And actually, the main theme song, 'Divide', is recorded in both Korean and English. They play the English one for scenes with the South Korean character, and the Korean version for the North Korean character."

"Really?! That's cool!" Ali remarked. "Definitely watching it, then, Mel."

"Who sings it? Someone from SM?" Em asked.

"...Yes. Someone. Can't tell you. I want it to be a surprise."

"Can we have a hint?" questioned Eliz.

"No."

"A member of SuJu?"

"No."

"You're mean," from Jacklyn.

"Yes, yes I am. So how's college?"

"Wonderful. Just kidding. Combine stress with feels and you get a bazillion sleepless nights," Em complained, "And we're hungry. At least I am."

"Now you know how I felt last year, before the company gave me my housekeeping job. And I was relying on my Grandpa then."

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Poor baby," chided Eliz.

"Sorry if I keep giving you guys the sob story. Jacklyn, did you post the RStory music video yet?"

"Actually, I just posted it today. You know what it's labeled, right?"

"Yup! I'm gonna go watch it now. Talk to you guys later, then."

I closed out of the group chat, going instead to Youtube to watch the video. I typed in "RStory- 'Feeling' MV Cover", and clicked on the result I knew to be correct. I leaned back, taking a drink of water while I watched.

Dorky, as usual. Oh wow, Ali looked like a man in that wig. And... wait, were they filming this at my house?! Nice club atmosphere, you guys...

Before I knew it, I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my cheeks. They'd turned the song into a comedy about a boy (Ali) who keeps trying to get away from his ex-girlfriend (Jacklyn) , trying to have a good time, but she stalks him everywhere. Eventually he gives up, letting her drag him back home. The way they'd played it out, it ws absolutely hysterical. They'd done a pretty good job with the English cover of the song, too.

I scrolled down when the video finished, to hit the "like" button, only to find that I apparently wasn't the only one. The video had two hundred thousand views, and had only been up for five hours. the number of likes was ridiculous. People commented on how funny it was, and how crazy they acted. I stared at the numbers in awe, as the comments came faster than I could read them all.

I immediately flipped the group chat back on, typing, "you guys! have you seen your video?! It's like, massively popular!" 

"Looking right now," Eliz commented.

"Omo! You're right!" Em remarked. "I totally can't believe it!'

"Congrats, you guys, you're an internet sensation," I typed rapidly, amazed by it. 

"We just did it to be funny, not to be a sensation..." said Jacklyn.

"I know, you guys. But I can definitely attest to the fact that half the time, the opportunity isn't expected. It just kind of happens."

Speaking of unexpected fame, it's impossible to describe the mass stress of officially debuting. Before the drama even premiered, I had appointments to get my teeth whitened, my hair given a professional style, professional photographs to be taken to release to the public, and an interview with a reporter.

The teeth whitening was a bit strange, I had to admit. I mean, I brushed my teeth twice a day, always using whitening toothpaste. I flossed. It wasn't like my dental hygiene was awful and disgusting. But SM said I needed to be prettier, and so teeth-whitening it was.

I walked into the photography session, nervous. Most of my picture-taking skills had been to ruin selcas (my friends called me the trolling queen), not to look fabulous. 

But there I was, putting on the outfits I was told to, looking at myself in the mirror. "Jung Ah... I don't think this is really my style..." I was wearing a one-shoulder white dress that followed the curves of my chest and hips, with holes out of the sides that showed the skin of my abdomen. "It makes my legs look stubby."

"It's not my fault you decided to run every single day for excercise and made your leg muscles into bowling balls. Okay, fine. What do you want to wear? Remember, the concept for the first set of shots is to be feminine and pretty."

"Well, Jung Ah, you know I can't do that in white. That indicates innocence. And I have a dirty mind. You should know this," I complained, showing her the background of my phone, which was taken up by a lovely picture of Eunhyuk when he'd been walking around the dorm shirtless."

Jung Ah glanced away from the picture. "Yes, yes, Minsung, I know. Well, then, pick something else. Whatever you think fits you. The company's going to build your image based on this, I hope you know."

I shrugged, pulling out a red halter-top dress with a cinched waistline and a pleated skirt. "Dude, this is awesome! I can do the spinny thingy!"

"The...spinny... thingy?" Jung Ah asked as I took off the white dress and began to put the other one on.

"Yeah! You know, when you twirl, and the skirt goes flying up. I LOVE that!" I pulled my hair up so she could lace up the back. When she was finished, I twirled, and, sure enough, the skirt went spinning out around me. "Not to mention that I feel much more secure in halter tops. I'm less afraid that it's going to fall down."

Jung Ah rolled her eyes. "We go from an elegant white dress that indicates innocence to a red party-girl dress straight out of the fifties. Are you sure about this?"

I twirled again, grinning. "Hey, if this is what the company's going to build my image off of, I'd like it to actually represent my personality. Besides, I'm too short to be elegant. Fun and peppy fits me much better. And it being straight out of the fifties is great, actually. The drama takes place during the Korean War, after all."

Jung Ah made a face at me, then sighed and handed me a pair of sparkly red high heels. "Okay, fine. Now go to the stylist to get your hair done. We can't have the photographer getting impatient."

When I came out of hair and makeup, the photographer was waiting for me. I bowed to him, greeting respectfully.

"Ah, so this is our 'Queen Be'," he remarked, bowing back. "I must say, you look quite nice in that dress. Shall we begin?"

He had me stick my tongue out and wink at the camera. He had me put my hands on my hips and purse my lips. (the rhyming is coincidental, pay it no mind). I made a "shush" face and a dorky face, then had me tilt my head back and spread my arms out while I spun, so he could get the effect of the skirt belling out around me. This last one was my favorite.

Then we changed into the "Wisconsin Girl" outfit, a set of clothes I had chosen that resembled the jeans and t-shirts I had worn back home, with the additional flair of a more close-fitting shirt and a pair of high heels. The ringlets my hair had been put into for the dress was turned into a long braid, draped over my shoulder. That was great, too. Jung Ah wanted it to be country girl, as in jean shorts and flannel, but I had to tell her that was ridiculous. Girls in Wisconsin didn't do that. In winter it was far too cold, and in summer it was usually tank tops and shorts. The outfit I'd chosen was much more appropriate.

I changed outfits once more, into my more recent type of attire, with red pants tucked into black high-heeled boots, highlighted by a black leather jacket on top of a white tank top adorned by a floral design.

It was fun, actually. The photographer really knew what he was doing. He used the upbeat and fun concept to its full advantage, and let me try different things. It was a lot like filming for the drama, actually- making different expressions to convey a different idea, and doing different things for different angles of the camera.

Finally it was done, and Jung Ah  was working out the paperwork, so I waited for her outside of the building. I was horribly hungry. The session had taken hours, and I also hadn't had the time for much of a breakfast. Oh! Look! A ddukkboki vendor! Perfect! I ordered a single stick, covered in honey mixed with strawberry juice-- a stick of deep-fried deliciousness.

"Ddukkboki, ddukkboki, how I love my ddukkboki! Perfect for a cold January day, my ddukkboki!" I sang, smelling it, feeling my taste buds tingle in apprehension.

Jung Ah, appearing from nowhere, snatched it out of my hand and handed it back to the vendor. "Oh no you don't! You need to maintain your figure. You already started gaining weight ever since you debuted. I was told to make sure you were more careful."

"B-but..." I looked wistfully back at the ddukkboki vendor as she dragged me away. "I'm so hungry..."

"We'll get a salad on our way to the interview. Now come on, we don't want to be late."

"So. Queen Be, is it? What made you choose this as a stage name?" the interviewer asked me over his laptop screen.

"Not a stage name, actually. I was a songwriter for SM first, even while I was still a trainee. As a songwriter, I decided to go with a pen name. It's an actually interesting combination of things. Actually, part of my interest in Korea came from being an avid fan of Super Junior. they're my sunbaes and friends now, but I was initially a really big ELF. I would talk to the members about what the different international fans thought, and then talk to the fans about it. It was really fun, actually. Donghae-oppa started calling me 'ELF Queen' because of it. Then, my birth name, Melissa, means 'honey bee'. We combined the two to create a nice, stylized name, kind of upbeat, to remind me to take control of my life. 'be the queen, if you would."

He leaned forward. "One of the reasons? What were your other reasons for wanting to debut in Korea instead of the United States? How do you feel about it?"

"I..." my stomach growled, interrupting my thoughts. I ignored it, doing my best not to think about steaks and hamburgers. "I really thought I could be useful here. There are lots of Korean dramas and movies that require foreign actresses and actors, even small parts. Sometimes they need someone who can speak English fluently. Usually they have to take the best they can get, and I thought I could help with that. The United States has plenty of American actresses. Korea doesn't have that many. Basically, I thought my unique skills would be more helpful here. Such as my ability to learn multiple languages fairly quickly."

"Multiple languages? Which do you know?"

"Well, I know English, of course, and Korean. During my high school life in America, I became fairly advanced in Spanish. I learned basic Japanese before coming here, and got more advanced during my training. I also learned a considerable amount of Mandarin during my trainee time." I glanced at Jung Ah, wondering if I was saying the right things. She was smiling, so I couldn't have been doing too badly.

"That's quite a collection, Queen Be. Do you think this relates to your character? What do you think of Rosaline Connor? Are you similar?"

"I really respect Rosaline. She goes to the Red Cross hospital in Korea because she believes it's the right thing to do, even though she doesn't know any Korean. She learns really quickly, because it makes it easier to do her job. She isn't choosy about who she helps; she just focuses on helping them. When things get really nasty and hard, and something needs to be done right away, she doesn't even hesitate. She just does it. I think she's very strong because of that. So I wouldn't say that we're similar, but I'm very proud to be able to portray her."

"I see. How do you think you're different?"

"Mostly it's that Rosaline is supposed to be gentle and graceful when she needs to be. She maintains her cool. Unlike me. I'm actually really clumsy. I'm always tripping and falling on my face."

The interviewer laughed. "What about your fellow actors? Do you think you work well together?"

I bit my lip. "Hyun Woo and Hyuk Soo  are really great actors, and I think they fit their roles really well. I always feel like I make a lot of mistakes because I'm a rookie, but they're pretty patient and are really helpful. I'm learning a lot from them."

He smiled, leaning back in the chair. "That's good to hear. It sounds like you have a healthy relationship with each other. Do you have any preference between the two?"

I laughed nervously. "I'm not sure I can give that away. It might give away parts of the drama."

He smiled thinly. "Of course. How silly of me. Now, you mentioned being a songwriter. What songs have you written?"

My eyes travelled to Jung Ah's face, wondering if it was okay to say. She nodded almost imperceptably, so I began. "When I first started, I wanted to help Kpop songs have more accurate English lyrics. I'd hoped that with good pronunciation and correct grammar, SM's music could reach a wider international audience. My first two works were cooperative projects. One was with Kangta-sunbae, and the other was a Chinese song for Super Junior-M's newest album, written with Zhou Mi. After that I did a lot of lyric writing, where I would write the lyrics, and then someone else would compose it. My songs were distributed between various artists. I've written for Girls' Generation, BoA, TVXQ, f(x), SHINee..."

He leaned forward again, eyeing me carefully. "There's been a lot of press about Super Junior's release of an all-English song. You mentioned your hopes for an expansion in the Western markets. Did you have any contribution to this upcoming release?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes, I did. I wrote it several months ago, and they've been practicing for several months because of it. It was both written and composed by myself."

He smiled and leaned forward, stretching out his hand. "That will be quite all, Queen Be. Thank you for coming today."

I shook his hand and bowed, then left with Jung Ah, hoping I had said the right things.