*Letters/mail home to friends and family*

Dear Sibling,
How is Australia? Didn't expect that I'd be in a foreign country at the same time as you were, did you? Well, different countries, but both of us are a long way from home. I saw your pictures of the crocodile river. Yeah, I'm definitely not going to visit you down there, even if I could. I'm sorry, I had an amazing pair of earrings that I made for you, but I ended up selling them to one of the SHINee members. Sorry! He's pretty hard to turn down. If you knew him, you'd understand. Anyway, I'll try to make you an even cooler pair before your birthday in December. Sorry I can't give you something better, but I'm kind of poor. Like, you think you were poor in your first year of college; you have no idea. You've seen our dorm, right? It doesn't look like much, but you can stop here on your way home from Australia, if you want. Maybe I can show you around Seoul. It's a really pretty city. It reminds me of when we went to St. Louis. Remember that? It would've been a gorgeous city if it weren't for the bums laying around. Well, I'm happy to say that as far as I've seen, there are fewer bums laying around in Seoul.

How is your bearded dragon doing while you're gone? Is your sensei taking care of him, since Tessa can't? I really don't know. I don't have any pets, so I left without having to worry about that. Then again, my adventure away from home will be a bit more permanent than yours is.

Make sure you take a lot of pictures of the Great Barrier Reef for me. Try not to get eaten by a shark. I would cry. Also, be careful of poisonous snakes, insects, and frogs. No, really, I'm serious. Without my sister, who would I pick on?

It's really hard to be a trainee, but at the same time, it's really great. Sometimes the debuted artists can be really mean, but a lot of them have been really nice to me, and help me a lot. Henry's gone in China right now, but I've still got lots of Sunbaes that help keep me on my feet.

Have you heard "Mirotic" by TVXQ? I'm going to be performing that with a dance partner. Well, our own version of it. If you haven't heard of it, you should go watch the music video when you get the chance.

We should videochat sometime! You can talk to some of my friends over here. And I know you want to talk to John. There's more to life than Irish accents, you know.  Anyway, that's the end of the letter. Have fun in Australia; I'll be having fun here in Korea.

Remember, I'll kill you if you die:

Your annoying little sibling, Mel

*Letter home*

Dear Mom, Dad, and Patrick,
It's a lot different in Seoul than it is in Korea. Even the birdsong is different. I don't recognize a lot of the wildlife. On the plus side, we generally don't have to worry about deer jumping out in front of the car. Or the bus, as the case may be, since I don't have a Korean driver's license. We don't have to worry too much about getting a foot of snow in one night, or having the roads covered by ice, at least so far as I know, but on the other hand, I also have to deal with the rainy season.

Thanks for sending the cheese. I mean, really. THANKS. I was starting to panic, because I'd almost run out. I'm sorry if it's expensive. You know that since I'm from Wisconsin, I was spoiled in the cheese department. Min Hee doesn't really get it, but I don't quite blame her. 

Is Pat doing okay? Is he getting up in time for school? Does he eat his breakfast? How has he handled to my departure? It really bothers me that I don't know these things. I'm so used to being there to take care of him, but I can't do that all the way over here. It's my biggest regret, although I try not to regret anything. If you're having trouble waking him up in the morning, you have to drag him out of bed. Really, I mean it. And if he's getting unruly, you can't just get impatient and yell at him. Yeah, talking to you, Dad. He doesn't understand that, and then he just gets mad, and then both of you get more and more angry. Trust me, I know. If you yell at him for being himself, you're only making the problem worse.

Have I missed anything back at home? Any major family events? Has Cassie had her baby yet? I was always the one in the house who kept track of the family events, so I'm willing to bet you guys forget about that kind of stuff all the time while I'm not there. You need to keep the family together! It's important! Oh, and try to get to family events ON TIME for once. Really, that would be awesome.

Thanks to Facebook, I've been able to keep up with my cousins. I can't believe Lane and Mason have gotten so BIG! They look just like their daddy. And they're adorable as all get-out. Sometimes I log onto Facebook and see Aunt Tammy's newest post on the crazy things that Lane says, and just crack up all over the place.

Have you seen all of my pictures? The ones online? I know you guys don't go on Facebook much, so with this letter I sent an envelope full of pictures that you can show to the family. Oh, and also my report card. It's a Korean report card, so it works a little differently. I did my best to translate it for you, though. it's mostly A's with a few B's. It's worse than I used to get back home, but school in Korea is at least five times more difficult. I have to work really hard just to keep them where they are, especially considering that my training takes up so much time. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to quit school. 

Henry sent you a letter, too, before he went off to China. I didn't read it, so I'm kind of scared, but he said that he just wanted to know his little sister's family. Or something like that. He's a good guy, don't worry. Even if he does act pretty crazy sometimes. He's one of my best friends in Korea. Oh, but he's terrible at spelling, so don't mind that when you read his letter. 

I know it looks like I'm not taking care of myself well enough over here, but as a trainee, I think I have a decent enough life. Grandpa Henry, Grandma Cherie, and Aunty Jackie have been very supportive, so we've been doing fine. They like Min Hee, I think. Anyway, sometimes things can get hard, and it's frustrating because SM won't let us get jobs, and also won't pay us, but I don't really mind. With all of the kindness I've received from the people at the company, it doesn't seem as bad. I've met a lot of great people over here, and I only wish you could know just how wonderful they are, and how well they take care of your daughter.

Much love,
Mel

*Letter to Tessa*

My annoying nonbiological sister,
John says that since you're in Ireland, his aunt would probably be happy to give you a free place to stay. Apparently she loves guests. And she'll feed you all kinds of delicious Irish food. Or at least, that's what he says. Honestly, I wouldn't trust a thing John tells you, but if you want to take him up on his offer, you can always e-mail him. I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you, that rat. I'm telling you, being Irish doesn't instantly make you awesome. It makes you a devil.

Make sure you send me lots of pictures. You know that I've always wanted to go to Ireland, but try not to rub it in, okay? Besides. I'm in Korea. I think we even it out. Anyway, so far I haven't needed to use any of the self-defense techniques you taught me, but there were a few close calls when I was in the market in Seoul. Like any big city, there are some creepers. Usually all I have to do is to flick open the knife-necklace you gave me, and they go away. Other than that, it's pretty nice here, even though it is a city. It smells sometimes, though, but I don't think that's unique to Seoul. It can happen in places as small as Green Bay, so I don't count that as a negative factor. Anyway, I'm sorry that I couldn't send you any Kpop stuff, but I don't actually have any money. Sorry, I'm just trying to live here.

SM seems to be living up to its expectations. It's a place full of dreams, but the road is biased, unfair, and could disappear in a second. On the other hand, I feel kind of bad because I have a lot more help in the company than most of the other trainees do, and most of it came up by accident. I just have a lot of idols that support me and argue against the company for me. Not exactly influencing management, but it's still a lot more force than most people do. I feel kind of bad because I don't think I deserve it. I mean, what did I do to make them love me? That sounds weird. Nevermind.

Anyway, there wasn't much I could say for you, so bye!

Annyekasseo,
Mel

Dear Em,

I'm sorry, Em, I can't go kidnap Zelo for you. Every day for me is so busy for me that I don't even have time to leave my little SM-filled corner of the city. Take my advice: don't become a trainee. If you're not a morning person, it's pretty much Hell. On the other hand, you wouldn't believe the people I've met so far. I know none of them really matter to you, but they're pretty important to me. Henry sent you guys a letter, btw. He sent one to my parents, too, but he also sent one to Eliz, since she's the Eonni, but it's really for all of you. I'm telling Eliz this, too, but I'm pretty sure she's going to be too excited to get the package I'm sending her to even pay any attention to what's in the letter. *shrug* I know, you probably want something from Korea, too, but as I work at SM, I don't hear much about what goes on at other companies. If you want anything specific, though, let me know and I'll try my best to get it for you. (Not kidnapping anyone, sorry. And nothing too expensive, like plane tickets to Korea or anything like that, since I'm poor).

Anyway, sorry I don't have much to write to you about. How's life? Feel free to give me a humongous letter in response to my puny one. I don't mind. You probably have more to tell about your life than I do about mine. :P

Your "daughter",
Mel

Dear Jacklyn,
As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm becoming pretty good friends with Henry. He's like the big brother I never had. Jackie's detting defensive. And not your cat, either. She says that she claims me as her sibling, and that she won't let anyone steal me from her. Something like that. Of course, I don't know what she expects to do about it, since she's in Australia right now, but I can't exactly make her stop complaining.

Anyway, Henry says he's curious about my Kpop-loving friends, so he wants to chat with you sometime. Don't freak out. It's just a friendly conversation. It won't be until he comes back from China, though. Goodness knows when that'll be. Sorry. I'm so lonely, Chingu! I need my Canada Oppa!

I haven't met anyone outside of SM yet, since I'm just an SM trainee. I'm a slave, Jacklyn! A slave! I cannot leave the company! I'm a prisoner! Hahahaha, just kidding. It's not that bad. Even poverty is possible to get used to. But the point is, I haven't met anyone from Pledis yet. Maybe one of my fellow trainees will betray us for another company, like apparently B.A.P's Himchan changed from SM to TS. Not gonna be me, though. Henry would be PISSED. Besides, I kind of like it here, even though I think other companies might treat me better. Who knows.

Just wondering, but have you finished editing the video YET?! We finished recording in the middle of summer! I want to see how it turned out! It was my last video as one of the Wisconsin girls! Help me out here.

Anyway, I have two more letters to write, and my wrist is already starting to get sore, and my Sunday afternoon is starting to fade away already, so I need to get going, since the letters for Ali and Eliz are probably going to be the longest, since I'm probably going to have some explaining to do. Don't ask. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.

See ya eventually,
Mel

*Taped to the outside of a package*
Dear Eternal Eonni, Eliz,

I put the words "PLEASE OPEN THIS LETTER" first in big bold letters for a  reason, so I hope you saw them and complied. It was taped to the outside of the package, under the wrapping paper, so you should definitely have seen it. I'm hoping, anyway.

Henry's sending you all a letter, but he sent it to you, since you're the eldest. It's for all of you, but he didn't feel like writing more than one. Please don't mind his spelling skills. Trust me, if they annoy you, they annoy me ten times more. Don't ask me what's in it, because I don't know.

It makes me sad that I'm missing out on College Credit English with you guys. I'm not even sure if I'm going to be going to college, since I'm a trainee and all. But I'm keeping up in school, just in case SM decides to kick me out, something that's always a factor in the back of my mind. 

You should try some of the recipes I've had while over here. I know your family doesn't really appreciate variety in its food, but really, you have to try stuffed pork intestines. They're delicious.

Now, for this package: I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Things were a bit hectic at the beginning of September. Mianhaeyo.  So you can take this as your very late birthday present. I didn't have any money to buy you anything, so I was happy I was able to get this for free (sort of). Still, price aside, I hope you like it. Feel free to toss this letter away now, and commence the carnage to figure out what exactly I've sent you.

*Letter Inside package*

Yes, that's right. I gave you a signed copy of "Misconceptions of Me". You can thank your dear Key, believe it or not. Do you have any idea how much jewelry he breaks?! He's lucky I'm here, willing to fix it all in exchange for signed CDs, instead of charging him an arm and a leg. Seriously. 

I can expect that as you open the package, there would be a set of questions I'm going to be asked, so I'll answer those now. Signed by all of the SHINee members? I thought you just met Key?

Yeah, you can see in the pictures I stuck inside that I actually went to meet all of the members. Key had to beg them by himself, but he dragged Min Hee and I along. I was originally just going to get two albums, but then Min Hee asked for one, and then they found out she was a Shawol, and they were all too happy to give us the albums... yeeeeaaaah...

Key brought us to their dance practice, and we got to meet all of the members. At once. Taemin's growing out his hair. Again. I told him not to grow it too long, or he'd look like a girl. I think he got offended, because Key started pinching my cheeks really hard and calling me a jerk. Sorry, I didn't mean it that way! 

They all seemed pretty happy to meet us, and didn't seem too bothered to give us signatures. They got really excited when I said that a lot of my friends were Shawols, though. Jonghyun instantly had to get a picture with me, even though I told them like a zillion times that I was an ELF, not a Shawol. But that's SHINee for you. Actually, Jonghyun was starting to freak me out. Not that Min Hee would care. She was happy as ever. 

Since we had come in to their dance practice, they decided to let us watch them practice, so I got a few pictures of that, too. It was going great until Onew tripped over something invisible on the floor. Typical, right?

 On the other side, Taemin really is adorable. I understand kinda sorta why people want to elect Taeman as President of the Galaxy, however, I don't think his rule would last very long, because then Kyuhyun will force his way into becoming dictator of the universe. Sorry, Eonni, but even grown-up Taemin can't stand up against Kyuhyun's evil plans. 

Well, I think this is the end of this. Just enjoy looking at the pictures of me and your precious SHINee Oppas and wishing you were here instead of me. In a way that may be a good thing, because Jonghyun is really freaking me out. Anyway, toodles! Hope you liked your present! See you eventually! 

*Same Set-up for Ali's Present*

Dear Ducky Eonni,
This is your wonderful present from me. Honestly, it's not as creative as that one year I drew you pictures of all five SHINee members, and every single one had something wrong with it? You know, the ones where Minho's hair was three different shades of brown because I kept grabbing the wrong colored pencil, Jonghyun smelled like chocolate chip cookie dough, and the shading under Taemin's shirtsleeve made it look for all the world like he had armpit hair, until I colored over it with black marker? Yeah, this one's not quite as creative, but I think it's just as good.  Really.

I suppose that in an indirect way, I have to thank you for giving me the ability to be over here. It was you who helped pull me into Kpop, after all. We both know that if it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't be living like a pauper in Korea. But that's okay, because someday I'll be a Queen, just like my stage name suggests. Hahaha, just kidding. I'll probably just songwrite in the background for the artists and never actually become famous. That's what I'm here for, anyway. Hey, next time BoA comes out with an album, you need to listen to it and find the song called "A Dream by the Sea". I know you're not usually a BoA fan, but that song's written by ME, so you HAVE to listen to it!

I'm sure you knew this already, beceause you once said that you'd never try to be an artist, no matter what, but it's hard to be a trainee. Really. There've been plenty of times I've thought about quitting, because my stomach growls too loudly, or my limbs just can't move the way they're supposed to in the dance, or when I get pushed around by Jessica too much, or when I realize that our trainee dorm is so crappy that the walls are growing mold. Those are the times that I wonder if this was all worth it, and if I should have just stayed home and become a psychologist/novelist, like everyone expected me to. But then I'll be going home from a brutal and disappointing vocal training lesson, and suddenly Henry will come out of nowhere and drag me off to somewhere in Seoul, or maybe just to watch him practice. Obviously he hasn't done thst for the past week, but every time he would kidnap me like that, I would be reminded that I really COULD make it through, you know? Most of the people I've met over here are really incredible people and for some reason I can't really understand, they've given me a lot that may not be very important to other people, but mean a lot to me. 

Here I am, blubbering about how sad and happy I am here in Korea, when you have a present to open! Let the carnage commence! Ask your mom if she can film you opening it so that I can see your reaction! It'll be fun!

*Inside*

Hehehehehe, jo-ah? I know both you and Eliz wanted the Misconceptions of Me album, but I couldn't get you both the same thing, so I got Eliz the Misconceptions of Me album, and I got you the Misconceptions of You album. Both are signed. Feel free to trade CDs if you wish. Wondering how I got it? Well, it can't be too mysterious. Obviously I met the members. Me and Min Hee both. Summary? Key is demanding, Onew is a clutz (worse than YOU! I actually said "Onew had an Ali moment" when I watched him fall over out of nowhere). Minho is a very shy dork, Taemin is adorable, and Jonghyun... kinda creeps me out. And you know I'm not that easily creeped out. Though maybe he was just retaliating because I asked if I could smell him. I had to make sure he didn't smell like chocolate-chip cookie dough, okay?! Turns out, he didn't. He smelled lightly of tropical breeze and body odor. I think I would have preferred the cookie dough, honestly. 

I told them a lot about you guys. That I was surrounded by a ton of Shawols back home, and that it was kind of annoying. I think they kind of glazed over the second part, because they got really excited, like "REALLY?! We have a bunch of fans in the U.S?" And I was like "Yeah, in my hometown in Wisconsin, at least." And then they asked me "Where's Wisconsin?"

Palm. In. Face.

When I told them that it was one of the Great Lake states, just above Chicago, and that if they had a concert in Chicago, all of my friends would probably go, they started jumping up and down going "Omo Omo Omo we should have a concert in CHICAGO!!!" Of course my response was "Yeah, you should! Tell all of your Kpop idol friends!" Because you know that's what we've been craving for years now. Not that it affects me anymore, since I live in Seoul now. However, I'm doing my best to make you guys happy from all the way over here. So cross your fingers and hope it goes through! You know I am!

Your loving Maknae,
Mel