Zhou Mi closed the door behind himself, then leaned back against it, looking up at the off-white ceiling. His vision was blurred. He needed to stay calm. Niuwang was clearly not okay. He wished he could do something to make it better. He had come with that thought. He hadn't anticipated it to end this way.

He steadied his breathing slowly, closing his eyes. He was angry at her, even though he knew he shouldn't be angry. It wasn't like she had cheated on him. Still, he had to remember her age. It was an identity crisis, and nothing he could do would change that. He just wished it did.

He stood up, beginning to make his way down the hallway, suddenly feeling bone tired. She just had that kind of energy. She would focus on something so much, it felt like the whole world was focusing with her. He could be tired all the time, yet wide awake when he saw her, because she always kept her eyes wide open, all the better to take in as much of the world as they could at once.

He hadn't noticed how much he had come to depend on that smile. There could have been a dozen other men in the room, but she would always turn and look at him. Precious, and beautiful, and protective. She had always tried to help him. How could he not love her?

He went back to his dorm, somewhat happy that Henry was gone, probably practicing for that FASE competition. It meant he could pick Ni Qiu off of the ground and play with the puppy, even though it didn't make him smile.

It meant he could take a long time going to sleep, turning the light next to his bed on, and pour through her quote book, filled with little pieces of stories. 

" 'Word magic. If you say a word, it leaps out and becomes the truth. I love you. I believe it. I believe I am loveable. How can something as fragile as a word build the whole world?' Briony, Chime, pg. 361." He read it aloud, letting the words sink into his mind. 

He got up, grabbing his wallet, going through the door, wondering what bookstores were open at that time of night.

He realized quickly that, despite Melissa's tough outward nature, she had very dramatic romantic tastes, with very few exceptions. It was difficult to read, the words sometimes swirling in his vision, making him have to look at a sentence several times before he really understood what it said.

He hadn't slept. Henry walked in, paler than ever, looking washed out and worried. He sat down in front of Zhou Mi, looking accusingly from him, to the book, back to him.

"What did you do to her?"

Zhou Mi closed the book he was attempting to read. "Niuwang?"

"Melissa. Mel. Queen Be. You know who I mean. She won't come out of her room. She's locked herself in there. She didn't open the door for her manager. She didn't open the door for me. I thought she was fine. Suddenly she's not. And the last person to see her was you."

"I didn't do anything."

"Tell me, or I swear to God--"

"I didn't. I didn't get the chance. What was I supposed to say to her? 'Let me get in the way, because it's my fault?' Of course not. I don't know what to do."

Zhou Mi pulled the book back, going back to reading. Or trying to.

"Zhou Mi? Are you in there?"

He set the book down and opened the door to see Victoria. She wedged through the door, tapping her fingers against her thigh. "Everyone's worried about Minsung. I came here to ask about you."

He shrugged. "I'm fine."

She looked at him suspiciously. "Are you really?"

"Sure. I'm just reading."

She raised an eyebrow. "Reading? You don't read."

He frowned, realizing she was right. When had he started doing that?

Her gaze found the book, where he had left it. "And you're even reading a book in English. Wow, Zhou Mi, you're in deep."

He frowned at her, and she sighed. "She's still practically a kid. She'll be 21 in a little over a month, but..."

"I know."

She shrugged, looking up at him. "Want to go get a drink? Maybe eat some fatty Korean food?"

He laughed. "Maybe later. I don't think drinking is going to help anything. She hates alcohol."

Victoria mimed hurling, then went out the door.

When he heard she'd come out of her apartment and joined FASE again, he was ecstatic. Henry looked extremely relieved, though he tried his best to hide it.

"She can't self-harm," Zhou Mi pointed out to him. "She can't stand the idea of hurting herself, no matter how depressed she can be."

"Shut up," Henry demanded, making a face at him. "When do you plan on talking to her?"

"I'm leaving that up to her."

"Aaaayyyy, don't be a coward. You could come to the FASE concert. Maybe support her there."

"No, I think I'll just watch it from here."

"Coward."

"So what?"

"You're really not going to?"

"I think I'll give it a bit more time."

"Not worried that someone's going to swoop in and scoop her up while she's vulnerable?"

"I feel sorry for the man who tries. She usually gets violent when she's depressed."

Henry had to agree with that. "Yeah... that's true. Well... don't wait too long. Just in case."

" 'Those worthy of assistance, except in rare cases, seldom require assistance.' Andrew Carnegie, Wealth.

She really did try to involve herself in every problem there was. Even economics, which he knew bored her. It was no wonder the pressure had gotten to her.

"Zhou Mi! Get your nose out of that book and practice!" Sungmin demanded, looking down at him.

"I don't think so... I think there's something wrong with my voice..."

"There is not! Come on, we're not just worried about Minsung, you know."

"I'm fine. Really. I'm not worried."

"Not even a little bit?"

"I don't think she stayed single for eighteen years by jumping from one boyfriend to the next."

"If you're not worried, then hurry up and practice!"

"Hyuuuuuuuung! Come to the concert!" Kyuhyun urged Sungmin, peeking into the practice room door.

"I am not adding fuel to the fire! I'm not getting myself stuck between you, Heechul-hyung, and Henry, Kyuhyun-ah!"

"It'll be fun!"

"I'll watch from at home."

Sungmin lightly kicked Zhou Mi's leg. "Come on, you can come to the dorm and watch it with us."

You'd never be able to tell she was depressed from the performance she gave. She and Henry made a great team, like always. 

"Aaaaaayyyyy, what do you mean, FASE didn't win?! Eric-sunbae, what are you thinking?!" Kangin remarked, throwing popcorn at the screen.

Zhou Mi looked up at him, almost laughing. "Thought you weren't cheering for anyone in particular, hyung?"

Kangin threw popcorn at him, instead. "Did you see Ahjumma in that Katy Perry thing? It was awesome! They should have won!"

"But come on... Jungmo and Jonghun's guitar battle..." Sungmin pointed out.

"What about FASE's duet! I didn't know Eliz could sing that well! That was so cute! Why didn't you guys do that when I was on We Got Married?!" Leeteuk remarked, nudging Donghae.

"You did all of the planning yourself!" Eunhyuk shot back. 

"Hey, what about Kyuhyun and Changmin's duet? Wasn't that cool, too?" 

Zhou Mi laughed, listening to the members argue about which team deserved to win, when each team had a different member competing, plus their little sister. "SuJu's Pet", so she'd been called. Not so much anymore, as she'd gotten more independent, but he doubted it was a nickname she'd be able to get rid of. 

The members were all so much fun, their argument ending up with Kangin throwing a pillow at Ryeowook, accidentally missing and hitting Leeteuk. Like teenage girls at a slumber party.

They'd both be fine. They still had the SuJu members. He could wait. Give her all the time she needed. That was the same reason she was able to go onstage and smile. Because he couldn't be the whole world to her. Nor could she be the whole world to him. That's why they could still put on a brave face without each other.

Apparently she'd been able to start writing again. Liyin went to the recording room and sang the song, letting him listen to it from the mixing room. 

Another one, everyone in the company received, it felt like. A bright and happy song, called "Rainbow Stars" that mixed together every single piece of SM history, to sing together as a family for the opening of SMTown. He couldn't really argue with her logic when it turned out like that. It reminded him a lot of the quote from her notebook. "Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. For I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." She did love the stars. Metaphorically.

He wanted to talk to her. But she was never at the company. "Oh, she was just at the dorm last night," Ryeowook would say, "she taught me how to make spagghetti!"

Or, "She went to hang out with the Wisconsin Girls". Tiffany would say, then go back to stretching before her dance practice with the other members of Girls' Generation.

"Queen Be-sunbae? She came in really late last night for dance practice. I don't think she went home until early morning."

She was avoiding him, and he knew it. Patience. Always, always patience.

He went to one of the company's vending machines to get a water bottle, wondering what he was going to do next. Maybe he'd take Victoria up on her offer of fatty Korean foods.

A hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned to see Key, his face scrunched up in annoyance. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"

He seemed to be getting that question a lot.

"She's cranky all the time! I just asked her to help me out a little bit, and she snapped at me. Sheesh!" Key set out down the hallway, grumbling all the way. Zhou Mi laughed. Of course, Key asked her to do something for him.

Maybe he could practice a song. Do something constructive.

"That sounded totally awesome! Wow, totally daebak! BoA-sunbae, you're amazing!"

"Minsung-ah, your voice cracked a few times. Maybe you should go get a drink of water."

"Yeah... I forgot my water bottle. I'll pop out for a second and get another one. Brb."

He debated whether or not he should leave. But he hadn't bought his water yet.

Blonde hair appeared in the corner of his vision. Then froze, mouth open.

He grabbed his water, quickly walking away.

"Wait!"

He stopped, looking back. She walked up to him, stealing his water bottle right out of his hand and taking a swig.

"Ah. Sorry. My mouth suddenly went dry." She laughed a little. "Umm... so, Eliz's 'wedding' is in a few days. And I... I didn't want to go by myself. And... I know it's been almost a month, but... I figured it was better to ask and get a no, than to just... you know..."

He cut her off, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, happy to have the Niuwang he knew back. Happier than he thought he'd be. But now, he knew they'd be a bit more careful about balance.

"Of course. I'll go to her wedding with you. But that means you have to catch the bouquet."

She looked up at him, her cheeks pink. "What are you implying?"

He just laughed and hugged her tighter.