I breathed warm air onto my fingers as I headed out to the van I had been told would be waiting for me when i got out of the airport. Where could it be? Normally it was right in front of the airport, so we could get away from crazy fans as quickly as possible...

And the airport in Hong Kong was much more receptive than the one in Tokyo. My reputation had preceded me there, I supposed. Getting through the airport was chaotic. This time, I couldn't use the guys as a sort of battering ram, standing behind them while they carved a path through the crowds. No, this time I had to do my own carving, and it was slightly scary. Not that I didn't love my fans. No, the exact opposite was true. But it was still slightly uncomfortable to have them pressing up against me, shoving cameras in my face.

I looked around, rubbing my hands together, wondering where Jung Ah could have gone. She'd already told me that she wouldn't be leaving with me, because of some kind of meeting she had to go to right away, but I didn't really know what she was talking about. But she'd said that my ride would be right...

A black car with tinted windows came to a stop in front of me, and I checked the license plate with the one Jung Ah had given me, to make sure this was the right one. It was correct, so I went to open the back door, and...

"Niuwang, you're finally here!"

I stood open with my mouth in shock for several moments, feeling my cheeks turn pink, then red, then crimson. "I d-don't even, Oh my god... I thought you were still..." I couldn't hide the delight and surprise in my voice, and it took several counts to three to make me get in the car, sitting next to him.

When the door was closed I spent a good several moments continuing to geek out. 

Despite my tough, no-nonsense nature, I'm a hopeless romantic. If all romanticism did was make me annoyed, then I wouldn't watch nearly so many dramas. But just seeing cute things happen to girls in dramas could make me smile so much that my cheeks hurt. 

I didn't know what to say. I was at a loss for words.

"Just wait until you see where we're going," he said, sounding proud of himself. I must've had the desired reaction. 

"We're going somewhere?" I asked, sliding my seatbelt buckle into place. "In Hong Kong?" There were a million and one places to go in a city that big, and I was already dying of curiosity to which one we were going."

"It's a surprise," he answered, and I attempted to make an annoyed face at him, but I was already so overwhelmed with happiness that it only came out as a demented grin. Unable to hold it in any longer, I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"You look so cool right now," I gushed, leaning back in my chair.

I'd honestly never seen Zhou Mi drive before, except in When Love Walked In. He seemed confident enough, but he looked jittery. His fingers drummed over the steering wheel, and he adjusted the rearview mirror like, three times before we started moving. 

"Oh my god, you planned this with Jung Ah, didn't you?" I asked, when the realization suddenly came to me. That was why my manager had suddenly said that she wasn't going to go with me. She was in on it.

Zhou Mi's only answer was to turn pink and laugh a little, and all I could do was laugh and bury my face in my hands. "Wow, I never suspected anything..."

"I wanted to surprise you," he said, keeping his eyes on the road, "I've never gotten the chance to do anything special for you, and..."

"If this isn't even the big surprise, I don't even know how I'm going to react to the real one," I interrupted, pressing my cold hands against the raging heat in my cheeks. "Oh, eotteokke..."

I tried to clear my head, pressing into conversation. "Wow, the roads are very different in Hong Kong than they are in the U.S..."

""You can drive?" he asked innocently.

I burst out laughing. "Of course I can! Legal driving age in Wisconsin is 16. I'm 19 already. I could drive before I came to Korea. But in Korea the rules are all so different, and in Hong Kong, too... I don't have any confidence in it. I think I'd have to take a class first..."

"So if we were to go back to the U.S, you'd be able to drive?" Zhou Mi asked, giving me a sidelong glance.

"Well, yeah. Since I renewed my license when we were in Green Bay. I never know when I'm going to need it."

"I'll teach you. In Hong Kong."

"Like you taught me Chinese?" We both laughed. Neither he nor Henry had really made good on their promise to teach me Mandarin. Most of my knowledge had been gained through Victoria and Zhang Liyin. And personal studying. 

"Yes, probably just like that." We both laughed again, and then we were coming to a stop in front of a huge domed building. I squinted, trying to read the sign through the window, just too incredibly anxious to see where we were. Not that I knew Hong Kong very well. As in, not at all.

"Star... um..." Before I could read all of the characters in the sign, though, Zhou Mi was out of the car and opening my door. When I got up, he covered my eyes with his hands. "No looking."

I made a face, feigning a biting motion at his fingers, one that he just avoided.

He guided me towards the building by the shoulders, and I held my eyes closed, resisting the urge to open them, despite my burning curiousity. 

"There's a ledge here," he said from just behind me, right as I caught a heel on it and almost fell forward, but he caught my elbow, stopping me from falling. 

"This feels like the trust walks we did during the sensations unit in Psychology," I remarked, stepping carefully ove the ledge. 

I refused to move unless I could feel his hands on my arms, on my shoulders, brushing against my palms. Whenever he let go, I would stop, waiting until I felt his touch again. I didn't trust my feet when my eyes were open, let alone when they were closed. 

"There's a chair here. Sit down... that's it..."

I sat, feeling a soft cushion beneath me. I sat back, slowly, but when my back finally rested against the back of the chair, I felt like I was almost lying down.

"Alright, now... open your eyes."

I did, and at first, I thought we were outside. Above me I saw thousands of stars, glittering like the sky just outside my house in Wisconsin. There... I could see the Big Dipper, the only constellation I knew. It was a comforting feeling, seeing it there. It made me feel like no matter where I went, I took it with me. That it was always there as a guide.

"Planetarium," I gasped, fighting back tears. "Oh my god, Mimi, you took me to a planetarium."

In the dim light, I could just barely see him smile. "You can't see the stars in Hong Kong. Or Seoul. And I know you love them, so I..."

I grabbed his face in both hands and pressed my lips to his, so happy I could barely hold it in. "Damn it, why do you have to be so y?!"

He smiled and leaned back in the chair, as the projection went on. An aide came in, handing us guides to the program we were watching. It was all in Chinese, so I wasn't very quick in readingit, so Zhou Mi had to read it for me, and tell me what was happening.

"They're pointing out the different constellations right now. They're doing the Western ones first, and then the Eastern ones."

"Oohhh, so that's where Ursa Minor is..." I remarked, watching the hologram outline the images the stars made. "And Leo..." I smiled, finding his hand in the darkness and weaving my fingers through his. No one else was in the room to see. "That's my star sign. The lion."

"Brave, proud, strong... it suits you."

"Well, that one's yours. Aries, for April 19th. Somehow I don't see you as the aggressive, protective type."

"No, that would be you."

I giggled. "I never really believed in horoscope typing. We all have a little bit of each in us, I think. A little bit of the lion's pride. A little bit of the aggressiveness of the ram." I sighed, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't looking at me, but up at the ceiling, where the images changes every second. We were both in reclined chairs, watching a show that replayed in the sky every night, if only we could see it.

"I don't want you to go to Chile," he said after a long silence.

I rolled over so my head was resting on his shoulder as the starry night "sky" above us bloomed into the vivid splendor of the Aurora Borealis. I kissed his cheek, whispering, "well, you know, that is one thing about us Leos. We're pretty darn loyal."

 I leaned against the wall with a container of genuine Chinese noodles next to me while I looked through my phone. I'd turned it off in the car when I'd been romantically surprised by my boyfriend. And now I had a massive pile-up of phone calls and text messages, many of them from my friends.

"Woah! No way!" I gaped at my phone, closing and re-opening the message just to make sure I had read it correctly. 

"What? What is it?" Zhou Mi asked, sliding down to sit next to me, leaning over my shoulder so he could see.

I started giggling, showing him the message. "My Eonni is going to be on We Got Married: Global Edition."

"Which eonni?"

"Eliz."

"Oh, really?"

"I just... I can't even picture it." I looked up at him. "What do you think I should send back to her? 'Eonni, I'm watching every episode, call me for advice?' "

He laughed. "I don't know if you're the greatest person to call for advice."

I thought about it. "Yeah, you're right, she should probably call Ahjusshi instead."

He laughed again. "You want her to call Leeteuk?!"

"Ahjusshi is amazingly gentlemanly. I was surprised, myself."

Zhou Mi looked up at the hotel room we were sitting in. I tried not to think dirty thoughts. It was difficult. He was just... so handsome. And right there in front of me. I couldn't count the number of moments I had watched him through my computer screen in Wisconsin, wishing he could be right in front of me.

I leaned against him, and his arm automatically went around my shoulders. I smiled, breathing in his warmth. "I was very shocked today. No one's ever done anything like that for me before."

He absentmindedly twirled a lock of my hair around his finger, closing his eyes and smiling. "I really hope they wouldn't. It really ruins the whole effect if it's not a new experience."

I snorted a laugh. "True. But seriously. I was touched. You were really amazing today, Mimi. Well, more than usual. It was the first time I really felt like a girl."

"What do you mean?"

I felt my cheeks flush, all too aware of the middle-class hotel room we were sitting in (mine). "Well, I mean, guys just don't think of me as a woman. I'm always that cool friend, that little sister."

"I never thought of you that way. I should have, but I didn't."

"I know." I smiled, breathing in the smell of soap. He'd just gotten out of the shower. (More dirty thoughts). "I was the same way. I was hiding."

He chuckled. "Hiding. Genius."

I blushed. "I got the song from a conversation, you know. You wrote part of it."

"I did?"

"Well, you didn't write them, but you said them. You didn't notice?"

"I didn't."

"Oh! Wait, I got you a present!" I suddenly remembered, jolting up to get my bag. I sat back down with it, pulling a gift box out, and then handed it to him, hiding behind my bag so he couldn't see me grinning.

He opened the package, then pulled out the eye mask inside. It was skin-colored, with the pattern of bright blue anime eyes set into it.

I stifled a giggle. "Now you can have blue eyes! Instant perfect man!"

He slid the mask on, and I took a picture of the extremely weird-looking face, then, as quietly as I could, got up and ran to hide behind the bed.

"Niuwang? What's taking so long?"

I stifled my laughter, not answering.

He got to his feet, and I heard him stumble a little. "Niuwang?!"

I giggled a little, and he flung off the mask and came towards me. He slid the mask over my own eyes, then picked me up off the ground.

"Oh my god, no! Mimi, put me down!" I squealed, flailing my legs. "Not okay! Not okay! Crossing the line!"

He spun in a circle, and I clung to him, feeling dizzy. He came to a stop, and put me down, but in my dizziness I fell over, right into him. 

"That was a mean trick, Niuwang," he said, holding me in place. And then, "I have to go soon."

I grabbed his shirt in my hands, clenching the fabric in my fist. "No you don't. You're not going anywhere. You're my prisoner."

"The other members will get worried."

"They'll be fine. I'll tell them I kidnapped you. You are in my hotel room, after all."

"That's not scandalous at all."

"Don't worry, Mimi. I won't do anything." I winked, laughing.

"I don't believe you," he answered.

I laughed. "I mean it, though. At least, for now. Wait until I get back from Chile, and we'll see. For now, I really just want to watch a movie or something."

"What do you want to watch?"

I thought about it, then felt my lips twitch into a smile. "Qian Ren Gong Lue?"

"You want to see Han Geng be a player?"

"It's hilarious to me. Unless you want to watch a Disney movie with me."

"Well, it might be fun to watch him. We can make fun of him, right?"

I laughed. "We can to our hearts' content."

I the TV and ordered the movie from the DVR, then pulled a bag of dried apple slices from my bag. Making a brave move, I crawled onto the bed and propped myself up against the pillows, patting the space next to me. "Come, sit! Make yourself comfortable!"

He bit back a smile, and then stretched out next to me as the movie began. I pointed at our feet and laughed. "There's so much difference..."

"It's not that bad!"

"No, no, wait. Picture time."

I paused the video, then took a picture of the large distance between our two pairs of feet. That done, I settled in, starting the movie again.

We laughed quite a bit, perhaps even more obnoxiously than we should have. Even the parts that weren't that funny we both thought were hilarious, just because it was Han Geng saying the lines. 

Occassionally I would pull an apple slice out of the bag and pop it into Zhou Mi's mouth, still turning red every time. Why the apple slices, you ask? Because I was once again on a diet, and although I was allowed snacks any time I wanted, they had to be healthy. Which, in my math, means fruit.

By the time the movie was over, it was very late at night, and we were out of dried apple slices. I put the bag on the table next to the bed, and turned the t.v. off. My heart was pounding. Even though I knew nothing was going to happen.

"Are you going to go to sleep now?" he asked, leaning onto one elbow.

"I don't know if I can," I answered, rolling over to face him.

"I'm very distracting, I know."

"Incredibly." I slid closer, so I could curl myself into his body shape. "Last time I fell asleep next to you, I woke up and you were gone."

"I'll stay until you wake up this time."

"Promise?" I asked, holding up my pinky finger.

He looped his pinky through it, nodding. "I promise. With a fifteen."

I grinned, turning the bedlamp off, and tried not to wait until he fell asleep. Eventually, my heart calmed down, and I felt exhaustion start to drag me under, into the sleeping world. 

I dreamt of stars, nothing at all like the ones I had seen in the planetarium that day. I was lost, desperately trying to figure out where I was, but I coudn't recognize anything, not even the Big Dipper. Then I was on a mountaintop, and the ground was shaking. The air was cold. Still, I was lost. I ran through the snow as fast as I could, until I ran into a group of dark-skinned people. "Where am I?" I asked. "I need to go back to Korea. Or China. There are people waiting for me."

They answered, but all in Spanish. Suddenly, despite all of my years in the language, I couldn't understand a single word, and I collapsed into the snow, covering my face with my hands, trying to hide the fact that I was crying. 

I have to keep the pretty face, I thought to myself. Keep smiling. You have to be strong. Dad always told you to be strong. Your fans are counting on you.

I forced a smile from behind my hands, and then felt a hand on my shoulder. When I opened my eyes and uncovered my face, I was no longer on the mountaintop. I was sitting on green grass, and the sun was shining. I turned to look at the face of the person that was there to comfort me, but the sun was right behind him. All I could see was his silhouette.

Then the dream changed, and I was sitting in the grass underneath my apple tree in my yard in Wisconsin, in a beautiful one-piece bathing suit, eating food from a Chinese take-out container. Next to me in the grass were a chipmunk, a monkey, a cat, a baby giraffe, a raccoon, a turtle, a horse, a wolf, a mouse, a pig, and even a little fish in a bowl and an Asian-style dragon, wrapping around the swingset.

When I sat up, the animals all ran away, disappearing into the neighbor's field. I saw myself as if from a distance, looking around, as if searching for something. When I got to my feet, the bathing suit was gone, replaced by a white floral print sundress. "I don't belong here," I was saying out loud. "I need to go back. This isn't my home."

Dream-me stepped forward, and ran through the grass, the dress flaring out behind me. I looked up, then smiled when I saw Zhou Mi, waving at me from the end of the driveway. I reached him, and I clasped his hand, smiling up at him. "You look beautiful," he was saying to me. "Are you sure you want to come with me?" As he spoke, the animals from before were once again gathering around me, making their sounds, watching us both, waiting to see what we were going to do. "Am I worth leaving all of this behind?"

I embraced him, and all of the animals began to chitter, pressing in closer. I barely even heard the words coming from my own mouth. "I don't belong here anymore, anyway."

 When I woke up, there were tears streaming down my face, but my mouth was turned up at the corners, into a soft smile. My dreams have always been strange. Vivid images that quickly fade, leaving me with only a central storyline, the kind that could be made into a legitimate movie, if only the minor details were fixed.

This one wasn't like that, though. I wasn't sure what the plot was. I didn't know what it meant, or if it meant anything at all. It had started out as a nightmare, and then ended as a happy dream. At least, that's what I thought. It was usually the reverse, though. They start out as good dreams, and then turn into nightmares.

I sat up, watching the dim gray light of the sky just before sunrise seep through the window. It is more dull than I remember, more dull gray than the blue tint of mornings in Wisconsin, more sluggish fog than the sun in Seoul. I never realized, until I began traveling to other countries, just how different the sky could be. Even though it was something that was supposed to connect us all to each other.

The thought reminds me of the beginning of the nightmare, when I had looked up at the night sky and had not been able to recognize any of the constellations, had not been able to tell which direction I was supposed to go. I shuddered, looking down at Zhou Mi.

He was still asleep, apparently not nearly as much of a morning person as I was. He laid slightly on his side, facing me, One hand just under the pillow, the other leisurely resting over his abdomen. His face looked relaxed, but his lips naturally turned down at the corners, so it looked like he was frowning. 

He slept soundly, his breath slow and steady, causing his chest to just slightly rise and fall. I wondered if he had any weird habits while he slept. Oddly enough, it was one thing about him I did not yet know. 

He shifted, his breathing not missing a beat, but tipping just a bit closer to me.

I smiled, a soft smile I had not made in a very long time. It was not fierce and proud, like I made for the cameras after my scandal. It was not vibrant and excited, like I had made shortly after my debut. It was not goofy and exaggerated, like my smile when I had worked for Super Junior as a housekeeper. It was soft, and gentle, and full of more emotion than I knew I could feel at once. I never smiled at anyone that way. I had never loved anyone that much. No one but my little brother.

I was afraid to wake him up, the way he looked so peaceful. It was almost easy to forget that we were in Hong Kong, that I had suffered from a nightmare, that I was leaving in only a few days. But I wanted to touch him.

I let my fingers skim his cheek, over the slight crease where his cheekbones met his eyelids, over the slim line of his eyebrows, then down again, to the downturn of the corner of his lips. So perfect. I wondered why it had taken me so long to realize it. I had never thought I would be this happy to just fall asleep next to someone. There were always strings attached, always actions implied. It didn't have to be that way. Not if I didn't want it to be.

His eyes slowly opened, and I jerked my hand away, feeling heat rush into my cheeks. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up..."

He reached up and pulled my hand back to him, sitting up and idly playing with my short, stubby fingers. "There are worse ways to wake up."

I smiled. "Now you're just being flirtatious."

"Is it working?"

I punched him in the shoulder. He yelled, and I laughed, throwing th blankets off and getting up out of the bed. "Of course it's working, you idiot. It always does. Now, as much as I'd like to spend all day in bed, I came to Hong Kong for a reason. Up, up, lazy-! We have a concert to go to!"

He slumped back into the bed, groaning. "Do we have to? I'm still sleepy!"

I pulled the blanket from on top of him. I was an expert at getting up stubborn sleepers by now. "No complaining! You weren't the one fresh off the plane! If anyone should still be tired, it would be me!" It was true though. I should have been tired, but I wasn't. I felt more rested and refreshed than I'd felt in a long time. So I was energetic, eager to meet the day. "I have to show everyone that I'm not the annoying American tourist. That means no breakfast in bed. Ihave to go out and taste the native food!"

"But you love Chinese food..." he grumbled, but I could see him smile against the pillow. 

"Exactly! I need food! Come on!"

 "I don't understand why people get gauges. They're gross and stretch out your earlobe, and if you take the things out, your ear looks DISGUSTING. No elegance whatsoever," I declared to Zhou Mi, still shuddering over the multitude of piercings and tattoos we had seen as we got to the concert venue. We'd had to sneak through the back door because of the fans already waiting outside the hall. 

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" It was Jung Ah, grabbing me by the shoulders, her eyes frantic. Then she looked behind me, to Zhou Mi, who tried to hide a grin and waved to her.

"Oh." She looked at me, then at him, then back at me. "Oh."

My cheeks flushed red, and I waved my hands frantically. "That's not what- it's not that-!"

Her lips twitched at the corners. "Fine, fine, I understand. Just hurry up and get to the dressing room! The fanmeeting starts in an hour! Please tell me you ate something!"

It wasn't really a question. I knew, because she didn't wait for me to answer. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me forward to the dressing room, to get me all dolled up to meet my fans.

I finished with the performance of "Strong" in my violet, blue and black outfit, out of breath.

The lights went down instantly, and the darkness enveloped me, the only real light being from the golden ocean of lightsticks, bobbing up and down in the audience. I waited for the screaming to go down, counting the seconds. One. Two. Three...

In the darkness, a hand took ahold of mine, enveloping it in long, thin fingers. And then the touch was gone, and I was alone onstage, in a small pool of light, as the music started, soft and pure, not quite mournful, but full of secrets. It had taken me over a week to compose that. just the introduction.

The audience went insane, screaming, then quickly went quiet. I was alone onstage. I was singing a duet all by myself. For all they knew.

"A hidden rapid pulse
tap-dancing to a beat I hope you can't hear.
That is my heart,
pretending you don't make it go crazy.

Wishing the smile on your face
wasn't burned into my memory,
wishing I could bury the emotions I'm trying to hide,
so maybe the world won't see how sinful I am."

I let my voice fade, and I could practically feel the audience tense up. They knew the song. I knew they did. Duets were inevitably popular, even when they weren't the main tracks of the album. I'd listened to some covers of "Hiding" already.

When a second spotlight came on from the other end of the stage, the screams magnified tenfold. One more voice, adding to my own. I pushed my voice into the soprano range, contrasting the male notes, trying not to blush so much.

"Living in fear wondering
if I've given myself away.
covering my face
because I know it will show the truth.
Breaking my own heart
forcing myself not to love you,
burying our feelings and hiding~
Forever, always hiding...
looking away from your eyes
before the words spill out of my mouth.

Verse two. Not mine. I just had to stay quiet and try not to jump up and down on the stage, point at him and go "that's my boyfriend! That's my beautiful, wonderful boyfriend!"

"Cursing myself every day
hating myself for wanting
something I can never have,
yet something always just within reach.

Jealous and angry,
wishing I could have you to myself.
I reach out to you to hold you to me,
but pull it back just in time.

Afraid that if you find out,
you'll run away and never look back.
It has always been better
to be by your side in pain,
than to be in pain when you're away.
Please look at me..."

"No please, don't look at me..."

"I'm so sick of hiding..."

"I don't want to hide from you..."

"Do you love me?
tell me the truth, for once...
Don't hide behind a friend's face.

"I need to know,
or my heart will burst..."

"I've always been hiding..."

"I was always hiding...
too scared of love to say it.
Now I can finally say it.
I... love.. you..."

Dating scandals were going to rise because of this song. Because I had wanted it to be a duet with Zhou Mi. But I didn't care. Let them think what they want. The company had given the ok. In only a few days, I would be off to Chile anyway. None of it really mattered. 

I was really sick of hiding.