After the Oscars, there was only one more thing to do. This one I'd signed up for myself. After all, if I'd made it close to a year and a half, I could make it one more day, right? Story of my life. 

But, really. It wasn't exactly something I could turn down. There were very few American singers that I still liked and respected by then. Mostly the modern American music industry repeatedly disappointed me, and I lost interest and turned to Kpop. There were, though, a few exceptions. One of them had invited me to do a charity concert with her.

While Liam was dressing his Oscar up like Thor to make fun of his brother, mine sat in my luggage in my hotel room in L.A, carefully wrapped in bubble wrap, completely out of sight, while I went to perform with P!ink.

First off was a meeting. Always, always more meetings. Nervous? Yes. Excited? Yes. Slowly, I was meeting all of my idols. My Korean and Chinese ones were pretty much covered by now. 

But who was really nervous? Jung Ah.

"Eonni, if you keep wringing your hands, you're going to turn into an old woman at the age of twenty-three," I observed, pulling her hands apart.

Jung Ah stuck her hands in her pockets, but her lip trembled. "I don't think I signed up for this many nerves. Honestly, Queen Be, I didn't think you'd be this successful."

I laughed. "Neither did I, Eonni."

I opened the door for her, and she raised an eyebrow and jerked her head, demanding I go first. I rolled my eyes and went in, blood pounding in my ears.

"Woah! She looks a lot different when she's not covered in dirt!" Those were the first words I heard when I came through the door. 

I dropped my head, then realized that I'd just bowed, and cursed under my breath, reminding myself not to do that. I straightened up, sticking out a hand. "That's what they said at the Oscars, too."

She shook it, and I felt callouses on her hands. I admired that. 

"So. I'm not the one in charge of the concert, but you want to sing something with me?"

I nodded, trying not to look too eager. "That would be cool, honestly."

"You're a feminist?"

I laughed. "Korea's own. Also LGBTQ rights, anti culture... I have a lot of causes. It makes people upset."

She laughed, patting me on the shoulder. "You and me are going to get along great. So what do you think? Clean version or the original?"

I tried not to grimace. "Considering this is going to be shown to children... I'd say the clean version."

She laughed again. "Well, alright then. we'll practice the clean version, then."

Lela brushed dark pink lip gloss onto my lips, looking carefully at her work. Finally she stepped back, smiling down at me. "There. You still look like a bad-, but now you're a pretty little bad-."

"And the moment this concert's over, I'm on a plane ride back home," I smiled, leaning back in my chair and closing my eyes. "That's what I'm excited for."

Lela laughed. "Performing with your idol, and you're still desperate to go home?"

"Performing with one of my idols. A lot of the rest of them are at home."

She brushed the powder off her hands and demanded I stand up. "It doesn't help that you're just wearing a tank top, so we can see your pipes!" She squeezed my arm, making a face.

I pulled my arms away. "I know. It's no fun, because I'm not squishy anymore."

She patted me in the shoulder, then smacked me in the . "Shut up and get out there, Queen Be. The sooner you're done, the sooner we go home."

I laughed, leaving the dressing room to go sing onstage.

The lights were down. The stage was dark. I waited in the shadows, smiling out ant the glow of the crowd. Dotted all over the thousands of seats were glowing gold lightsticks, and I could hear them cheering. 

"Queen Be! Queen Be! Queen Be!"

I smiled, watching the lights come on, to P!nk onstage, already singing, though the first few words were blocked out by the screams.

"Made a wrong turn...
once or twice.
Dug my way out,
blood and fire.

Bad decisions,
That's alright. 
Welcome to my
silly life..."

I came out, and the whole room started screaming, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood,
Miss 'No way it's so good,"
It didn't slow me down...

Mistaken,
always second-guessed and
underestimated,
Look, I'm still around."

I looked over at her, and jumped in the air, blasting the words outto the world.

"Pretty pretty please,
don't you ever ever feel,
like you're less than-
less than perfect!
Pretty pretty please,
If you ever ever feel
like you're nothing,
you are perfect
to me."

Call and echo, where I started, and she got to echo. Cool? Try "totally awesome".

"You're so mean
when you talk...
'bout yourse~lf,
you are wrong."

"Change the voices...
in your head.
Make them like you
instead."

"So complicated,
Look how big you'll make it,
filled with so much hatred,
such a tired game...

It's enough, I've
done all I can think of,
chased down all my demons,
I'll seen you do the same..."

Oh, oh,
Pretty pretty please,
don't you ever ever feel
like you're less than,
less than perfect,
pretty pretty please,
if you ever ever feel,
like you're nothing,
you are perfect
to me."

Rap section, starting with her, while I just felt overwhelmed, trying to keep up. Then it was my turn.

"The whole world's scared
so I swallow the fear,
the only thing I should be drinkin' is an ice cold beer,
so cool in line,
and we try try try,
but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time."

My turn, rapping coarsely, grinning when I heard the audience cheer for. Queen Be wasn't really known for rapping.

"Done lookin' for the critics 'cause they're everywhere,
they don't like me jeans, they don't get my hair,
Estrange ourselves, and we do it all the time,
why do we do that?
why do I do that...
why do I do that?"

I looked at her, she looked at me, the audience screamed. It was great. We shrugged, and she screamed out the notes, so much mixing going on that I felt like I could stand on top of the world. Well, I already was, wasn't I?

"YEAAAAHH!!!!
OH~,
Oh PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!"

"Pretty pretty please!
don't you ever ever feel
like you're less than,
less than perfect,"

My turn to scream.

"Pretty pretty please,
if you ever ever feel
like you're nothing...
YOU ARE PERFECT!
YOU'RE PERFECT

TO ME, YEAH!

[Pretty pretty please,
don't you ever ever feel,
like you're nothin',
you are perfect,
to me.]

The concert earned close to a million dollars for the movement. The pictures of the two of us onstage were all over the papers, in magazines, saying that I was a "young singer she was taking under her wing." How much older than me was she? Seventeen years? Well, she was still awesome.

I, for one, was all ready to get on my plane when the phone rang. And rang. And rang again.

I answered it, finally, and then Jung Ah rushed me over to the meeting place.

The concert hall was empty, compared to the way it had been te previous night. I was dressed to travel, torn up jeans, oversized light blue jacket over a white tank top and all.

I sat down, confronting the famous singer. She leaned back in her chair, grinning at me. So much pure awesomeness.

"You want to join me on tour?" she asked, getting right to the point.

I blinked. "Me?"

"I think you'll be great. People love you. What do you say?"

I bit my lip. "I... Thank you, I'm really honored, but... no."

Jung Ah looked like she was about to throw up a dictionary.

I looked up, swallowing. "I... I have a lot to show for my time in the U.S. I'm proud, and I'm happy, but... I think it's time I went home. I've been gone for way too long, and it's been eating away at me. I really just need to go home and stay there for a while. I can't thank you enough, honestly, but... if your tour comes to Korea, China or Japan... I'll try and put a good word in."

She held out her hand, grinning a little. "I think that'll work out great. We'll see about Tokyo."

I smiled, nodding, and shaking her hand. "Sure. Tokyo."

"Go home, relax. And nice shirt, by the way."

I looked down at the jacket, admitting, "I stole it from my boyfriend."

She laughed, the sound accompanying me as I walked through the door.

"I can't believe you turned her down," Jung Ah lamented as soon as we sat down on the plane, putting her belt on over her waist. She'd said it at least a thousand times since we'd left the concert hall, and I expected it would be another thousand before we arrived in Korea.

"Eonni, I think I've more than earned a break."

She sighed again. "You were invited to tour with an international star, and you turned her down."

I shook my head. "Eonni, please. Fame was starting to drive me crazy. What if, for the rest of my life, people are always going to see me as 'Rat'? What if I can never live that role down? That's what people in the United States know about me. They don't know about 'Strong'. They don't know what I mean when I say that I'm an ELF. They don't know what it took to be where I am today. I need to go back to where I had a beginning. I was famous in Asia long before any of these people knew me. I have to go back to that."

She sighed, looking down at her notepad. "I know. But it's a shame, don't you think?"

I shook my head. "I have meaningful relationships to go home to. My cat is going to forget who his owner is soon enough. It's a wonder the poor kitty isn't traumatized."

Jung Ah scoffed, but I knew she was laughing.

"And I have friends that I haven't talked to in ages. I saw the Wisconsin girls while I had some free time, but when was the last time I did something with FASE? I miss Amber, and Tiffany, and Henry... all of them. Not to mention, I have to give Mimi back his blanket. And jacket."

She laughed out loud this time. "I knew you were going to get back to that eventually."

I pulled the blanket over my arms, though the smell was faded by then. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Everything goes back to your Mimi. But... there is one thing..."

I grimaced at her. "What's that?"

She frowned down at her notepad. "You've gotten offers for other movies. In the United States. Even a sequel to Twelve."

I raised an eyebrow. "How is there going to be a sequel to Twelve? My character died."

She shrugged. "I don't know. But a lot of people want to do a movie with you now."

I leaned back in my chair, exhaling. "Not yet. Maybe in a little while, but I want some time for my fans, and for myself. The company will be upset, but... screw the company. I've done more than enough. I want to write music, release an album. Go back to normal."

"Why didn't you send the Oscar to your family?" she asked, indicating its spot in my carry-on bag over my head.

"I already said I was dedicating it to my sunbaes in Asia. Sure, my parents would be proud, but... they helped me become who I am as a person. It was the people at SM that made me into Queen Be. So I think the Oscar should sit in a glass case in SM headquarters, where everyone can see that SM is the best and the brightest. I will continue working towards that goal. I don't want to forget that. That was the goal."

She sighed, smiling and nodding. "Alright. I understand. So when we get home, do you want me to start arranging for a new album?"

I shook my head. "No... Eonni, why don't you take a break? You've been gone from your own family for a while, but never even complain about it. You come along with me everywhere, you don't even have a social life. Maybe you should take a break. You're only twenty-three, and you're starting to look like an Ahjumma. Please, Eonni. Don't worry about me. You're a world class manager. Go to a hot spring or something."

She sat up in her chair. "You mean that?"

I nodded. "I mean that. I think I want a hiatus. Then we'll work as hard as ever. Because people don't know it, but we're a team, you and me. And Jung Ah needs to get some rest, visit her family, and make herself healthy. Maybe meet a nice guy. I can give you dating tips!"

She wrinkled her nose. "No offense, Minsung, but I don't think it would be smart to take dating advice from you..."

I laughed, pulling a book out of my bag and opening it. "Suit yourself, Eonni. Suit yourself. Take a nap. I'll wake you up when we're close to Incheon."

I got off the plane in Incheon, South Korea, and laughed at how relieved I was to see all of the Asian faces waiting to greet me. Not shocking, exactly, but relieving. Some of them even looked familiar to me. I received fanarts of myself as Rat, adorable chibis of myself, and funny comic strips. I even signed the fanfiction. Goodness knows what happens in fanfiction, but it's usually great. As an ex-fanfiction writer, I knew how much effort was put into those things, and fans would never want them signed unless those were their very best ones. Most of my fellow idols would have been appalled. Most would have refused to do it without knowing what was in there. I didn't. , angst, fluff, even someone lesbian shipping me with Tiffany or something, I didn't care. It wasn't real, and I was proud to encourage their imaginations. So I signed away, smiling all the while.

I signed, I thought, I smiled, I felt my heart expanding, felt the warmth spread. I posed for pictures, I accepted gifts. I loved it. I was back in my own version of fame. Where I didn't find myself above others, that I was just like them, only I had a job. I just happened to do well at my job. That was all. I loved my fans. I loved them very much.

"Queen Be, what do you think about Zhou Mi's dating rumors?" someone asked me, and before I knew it, it was a chorus all around me. "What do you think about his dating rumors? Are they true? Are you jealous? Weren't the two of you dating?"

I looked around, confused. "What are you talking about?" I asked the closest fangirl. "Dating rumors?" 

I couldn't believe I wasn't up to date on these things. I really had been gone too long. Especially considering who it was about.

Someone shouted, and a magazine was passed through the crowd. It landed in my hands, already open to the right page. Right to where I needed to see it. And I felt my entire heart go cold. Like all of the warmth I had felt because of finally coming home had turned to ice. 

I smiled at them as widely as I could manage. "Well, isn't that shocking?! Wow... I'm not even sure how I feel about this... um... do you mind if I take this with me?" I asked, and when I got a consent, I had to rush out of the airport as quickly as I could, so I could go to my apartment and read over it more carefully, alone.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. It was betrayal, from both directions. Was this what I had missed during all of those phone calls that got short, all of those times I called and no one answered?

I thought... after Chile, even time and distance couldn't break us apart. But now, after almost a year away in the United States, the first thing I saw was the headline of the magazine article. 

"Super Junior-M's Zhou Mi and Girls' Generation's Tiffany spotted on a date in Gangnam! Caught red-handed!"

Scandals happen all the time over the tiniest things. Especially dating scandals. It didn't matter if you were in Korea, Japan, China, Chile, or the U.S., they happened all the time. Most of the time, they were ridiculous. Once, there was a rumor out that Eunhyuk was going to marry IU, because he had accidentally gotten her pregnant. It was absolutely ludicrous, and nobody knew where it had come from.

This, though, this was something different. This came with very... believable pictures.

Zhou Mi pointing to a window, Tiffany's arm through his, while she smiled that beautiful eye smile. They were both wearing slight disguises, and they weren't even the focus of the first picture-- it looked like the photographer initially caught them by accident-- but it wasn't too hard to identify them as long as you knew who you were looking for. 

But in the second picture, he was shielding her from the camera and the crowd, and they were running. 

It didn't exactly indicate innocence. I didn't want to believe it. Tiffany was one of my closest friends; she liked to call me "Honey"; she helped me pull pranks on people; she knew my favorite colors, what clothes I like to wear and what I didn't, she was one of the nicest, most hardworking people I knew, and ever since Min Hee had gone to Pledis, she had easily become the best female friend I had in Korea.

And Zhou Mi... well, you know what he was to me.

I didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was convincing, and I'd been gone too long to say that I knew what had been going on around there, especially with the suspicious lack of communication that I had tried to pass off as both of us being busy. I only now realized that I'd been in forced denial while my subconscious brain was setting off the red alert. I'd mentally forced myself to not be suspicious, to think of a rational reason for absolutely everything. But now that it was in front of me, I didn't know enough to think of a rational solution.

I was confused, I was betrayed; I was back in Korea after a long time, and my heart was on the verge of snapping into pieces. So, naturally, I did what I always did when I didn't understand my own emotions.

I got angry.

So I grabbed the magazine and went to go find answers.

The paper hit the desk in front of Zhou Mi with a satisfying smack.

"You have thirty seconds to explain to me exactly what happened."

He glanced at the magazine only a second before spinning towards me in his chair, sighing, "I really didn't want it to end like this..."

"Didn't want it to END like this?! So what, one time I'm gone in Chile for six months and you love me more than ever, and I go to my native country for a little over a year, trying to stay in touch while you hook up with my friend, and all you can say is that you didn't want it to END like this?!"

"Niuwang-- Mel, that's not what I meant! I meant I didn't want it to happen this way!" He stood up, grabbing me by the shoulders, desperate. I shook him off, too upset to listen to desperation. Trust does not come easily to me. When I do trust, I trust with everything I have. Small infractions could shatter everything.

"You know... I did my best... I promised myself... that I wouldn't get jealous over you. You're a star, you're a member of Super Junior, for Christ's sake! You have thousands of fans, and you need to give yourself to them, and I get it, I really do. God, I'm understanding that love more and more, especially every time I leave you here to pursue my career, even though it KILLS me every time! I know that sometimes you have to act like you're in love with beautiful girls for dramas and things. I promised myself I wouldn't get jealous of it. Any of it. Because I'm better than that. But this--!" I slammed my fist down on the table where the paper was, making him jump-- "This is something else entirely."

"Niuwang, it's not what it looks like! I know it looks really bad, and you have a reason to be angry, but please, PLEASE, just let me explain!"

He took my hands, folding them into his own. Something in his eyes made me pause.

"Tiffany and I aren't dating. Not at all. We're not even very close friends. It's just another assumption made by the media."

"Well, then--"

"Just let me finish," he cut me off. One hand remained wrapped around mine, while the other reached behind him. All the while his eyes never left my face.

"I would ever do that to you, Niuwang. Because I love you. And every time you go away, I feel so empty inside, I don't know how I ever survived the ten years of my life before you were born, but when I see you becoming a role, showing the world who you are and what people can be like-- doing what you love-- I love you even more."

I was stunned for a moment, realizing that the same was true for me, and that's why I was so upset. But my anger recovered faster than my heart did.

"If you think that sugar-coating this is going to make me forgive you, then--"

"No, no, no, Niuwang, I love you. I loveevery stubborn, ferocious, bitter, VIOLENT--" he added the last one as I raised my fist to beat the living daylight out of him, cringing. Then he grabbed that hand and laid it back at my side.

"I love every creative, artistic, intelligent, protective, strong, determined, beautiful, open-minded, amazing one-hundred fifty-five centimeters of you."

I had to admit, the sugar-coating was starting to take its toll on me. My hard shell was melting.

He started to move as he spoke, becoming fidgety. "This really isn't how I planned this. There were supposed to be balloons, and a walk in the park, and ice cream cones... since you always say that money is never the way to win a girl's heart. It was going to be perfect. But I guess it's useless now."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?!" What the heck did balloons and ice cream cones have to do with any of this?!

Suddenly he sank down onto a knee, his hand still holding my own. He pulled out the object he'd been reaching behind himself for, holding it up in front of me.

"Niuwang. Choi Minsung. Mel. Melissa. ELF Queen. Queen Be. Whatever name you want to go by..." my breath caught when he let go of my hand to open the little box "...will you marry me?"

My heart stopped. Right then and there, my heart was no longer beating. I wasn't thinking, just looking back and forth, first at him, his beautiful brown eyes, then at the most beautiful silver ring, holding the most incredible amethyst I'd ever seen, fashioned in the shape of a sparkling violet flower.

"I'm not very good at this sort of thing-- that's why I never got you any jewelry; you were always the jewelry expert between the two of us-- so I asked Tiffany to help me pick out the ring. That's when we got photographed. I thought she'd be the girl who'd know the more feminine parts of you than anyone else in the company. I felt bad not getting a diamond, but she insisted that you loved color too much to really like diamonds, unless I magically found a purple one..."

He was rambling. Explaining everything, I supposed. Tiffany had been right. I'd told her myself, once, when we were passing a jewelry store while shopping, that I'd prefer a less-precious colored stone to a more expensive colorless diamond.

"So... is it okay? That it's not a diamond?"

Not even thinking, I grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him up to me. I had no idea how many times we'd kissed, since that first time watching the sun set in Hawaii. I'd lost count. But this time was fiercer and sweeter than any that had come before, as I buried my lips in his.

When eventually I had to break away for a gasp of air, I couldn't help but laugh. "Does that answer your question?"

We were still so close, our foreheads were touching. I could feel his breath on my skin.

"Which one?" he asked, dizzily, his hands running through my short hair, like he always loved to do.

"The second one." I reache dup and touched his face, finally, after a year, once again able to feel his beautiful cheek. "And as for the first one..." I leaned forward and kissed him again, lighter this time. "The answer is yes. Of course. In every language I know."

Without another word, he smiled and pulled the ring out of my box and slid it onto my finger.

When we finally got up and decided to go tell someone, I opened the dorm's door only for five Super Junior members to come spilling into the room, with three more in the hallway, looking very, very guilty.

But I just laughed, wrapping my arm tighter through Zhou Mi's and lacing my fingers through his. "And you guys say I'm nosy!"

But I couldn't have been happier. I didn't even remember what it felt like to be angry.

End of Part Two