"What are you doing to Jae?!!!"

You, Yongguk, Himchan and Daehyun were startled because of the loud voice.

"O-oppa..." Your eyes were as wide as golf balls.

Yongguk’s eyes went bigger as well as he stared at the figure on the door.
“Ya… Y-you… Why you—“

Himchan turned his head and chuckled almost immediately, “What brought you here?”

Himchan rubbed his eyes to get rid of the blurry vision, but of course he failed. He felt his head spinning and he squeezed his eyes.

You opened your lips slightly while staring with wide eyes.

“L.joe oppa…”

There, standing at your door, was L.Joe. There’s a displeased look on his face and he already bawled his both fists.

“Hands off!!” L.Joe suddenly screamed while pointing to Himchan.

He stormed inside the living room pull your hand roughly from Himchan, “Don’t touch her!!”

He shoved Himchan hardly on the chest and the man fell onto the cold floor.

You quickly yanked away L.Joe’s hand and bent down beside Himchan, “Omo! Himchan oppa! Are you o-okay?!”

You tried to shake his body several times, but it looked like he already dozed off to the dreamland.

L.Joe gritted his teeth and stared at his palm. It’s already sad enough for me to know that bastard L took you away from me… And now what, Jae?! How can Himchan hyung also—

L.Joe already had been here since Himchan confessing his feelings to you. He was there, watching all the scenes in front of his eyes with aching heart. He heard everything and he couldn’t just stay still when he saw another man touching you.

Daehyun stiffened as he stared at L.Joe. He was just like a statue and he didn’t even blink for once. He felt his heart started to beat faster and he grew confused with himself.

This guy…. Once again, what’s with this feeling inside me? What’s with this familiar feeling..? Do I know him?

Daehyun then shifted his gaze to Himchan who already lied soullessly on the floor. He gulped. And what about this drunken man? Why did I cry for someone like him?! Who are they?!

Yongguk was too shock and he somehow couldn’t comprehend his brain with the situation. Wha—what happened?! Why this brat is here?!

L.Joe pulled you back up straight, “Jae-ah… is he drunk? What’s going on here?”

He then grabbed Himchan by the collar and shoved him to the sofa.

“Ya! Himchan hyung! Wake up!!”

You quickly stopped his hands when he was about to slap Himchan’s cheek, “No!”

“D-don’t hurt him…” You looked down, “He was just drunk and said nonsensical words… You don’t need to be mad.”

L.Joe furrowed his brows, “But he touched you and he almost kissed—“

L.Joe paused when he saw a disapprove look on your face.

He almost kissed you! How can I let that happen?!

You then sat beside Himchan and fixed his body to a more comfortable position, “Oppa…?”

Himchan didn’t response and you sighed, “Is he going to be alright?”

Yongguk blinked and finally back to his sense. He stared at Himchan then at you, “He is fine.. He is just weak with alcohol...”

What a jerk… Tch…

You felt grateful after you heard Yongguk’s words and put a cushion under his head. I’m glad then…

“Why did he come here?” L.Joe suddenly blurted out a question.

Yongguk then grabbed his shoulder from the back before you could answer. “That’s my line for you. Why are you here?”

L.Joe gulped when he saw Yongguk’s glare and quickly smiled, “Annyeonghaseyo, hyung! Long time no see… He-he…” He rubbed the back of his neck and rolled his eyes in confusion.

! What should I say? I came just because I miss Jae so much… Too much that I can’t bear with it anymore. It’s suffocating me when I can’t see her face… But what should I say to Yongguk hyung…?

“Are you out of your mind? It’s too late for a visit, don’t you think so?” Yongguk raised an eyebrow.

L.Joe bit his lower lip and tried to find an excuse. His eyes perked up when he remember he brought something inside his bag. He dug his hand into his bag quickly and pull out some books

He raised it on both of his hands, “I-I came because I was worried.. I couldn’t find Jae today at the college so I took some notes for her…” He then handed you the book while glancing at Yongguk.

“I wrote some things that we discussed at the music club today too!” He cleared his throat and flashed a smile at you.

You stared at the books on your hands. He is worrying about me? Well… I skipped class too many times, but I think L.Joe oppa skipped more class than me, right?

“Hmmm… I…” Your lips formed a thin line and you were about to reject it, but you thought it would hurt him. So you decided just to accept it and thanked him.

“T-thank you, oppa!” You smiled back at him.

L.Joe nodded and patted your head while mouthed a ‘you are welcome’. Yongguk raised a brow and crossed his arms. Did he really come for that…? I don’t think so…

You softened when you saw L.Joe gave you a sincere smile. The last time you met him, the situation was not really good and you were glad that he is now back to his old self, a caring brother.

Yongguk then walked to the sofa and shook Himchan’s body roughly, “Aishhh so annoying! Ya! Wake up! Ya!”

“Oppa, stop it! Just let him sleep!” You glared at Yongguk, “He can just go after he is conscious, okay?!”

Yongguk sighed and looked at you, “But I don’t like to see him sleeping at my place!!”

An idea popped out inside L.Joe’s mind and he smirked. “Should I drive him home?”

You looked at L.Joe and he asked you, “You do know where he lives, right? Since you are his fan…”

You obediently shook your head, “No, you don’t need to…” You stared at the clock and sighed, “L borrowed his car a while ago and I think he will be back soon… I will just ask L to drive Himchan oppa home… Thanks for your offer.”

L.Joe grew rigid when you mentioned L’s name. He tightened his fists and white knuckles could be seen. Damn it. I hate it so much when his name came out from your lips…

You grabbed your phone and about to text L when Yongguk interrupted, “What are you doing?”

You blinked at him, “Calling L so he can come back quickly—“

Your eyes widened when you saw two hands holding your hand to stop you from calling L. You stared back and forth at Yongguk and L.Joe in confusion.

“W-what are you guys doing?”

“Don’t contact him.” Both of them said in unison.

“Huh?” You grew confused and before you could talkback to them, you could heard Himchan groaned.

You instantly turned your head to him, “O-oppa?!”

Himchan groaned and he tried to open his eyes. His vision was blurry and he tried to blink several times to adjust with the light. His eyes landed on Yongguk and he tried to stand up.

“No! Don’t stand up yet!” You tried to make him laying back on the sofa when he insisted to stand up.

You sighed and just let him do what he wanted. Himchan stood up and grabbed Yongguk by the shoulders. Yongguk frowned and he have this urge to throw Himchan out from his house.

Himchan let out another groan because he felt his head dizzy as hell. He shook his head and finally stared at Yongguk eyes to eyes, “Hyung… I forgot to tell you something….”

He stumbled and ended up hugging Yongguk. Yongguk instantly cursed him and tried to push him away, but Himchan just tightened his hug.

“Ya! What are you doing?! Let go of me! Ya! I will kill you if you don’t!” Yongguk groaned in annoyance.

“Hyung… Actually I…. I—uuf!” Himchan could felt his stomach started to act weird and he was about to throw up. He puffed his cheeks and his grip on Yongguk became more tightened than before.

Yongguk’s eyes widened, “Y-ya! Don’t tell me you are going to---“

Loud gasps came out from you and L.Joe’s mouth. Yongguk gritted his teeth and he could explode any moment. You rapidly went to the kitchen to find a napkin while L.Joe just stared with wide eyes.

Himchan just threw up on Yongguk’s shirt because he couldn’t hold it anymore. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Yongguk’s shoulder.

“H-hyung… Are you okay…?” L.Joe asked after gulping.

Daehyun covered his face with his palms and shook his head in disgust. “So nasty….”

“Y-you…” Yongguk grabbed on both of Himchan’s arms and tried to calm himself.

But of course he couldn’t.

“YOU! WHAT THE HELL YOU JUST DID, HUH?! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE! I WILL KILL YOU KIM HIMCHAN! I WILL REALLY KILL YOU!”

He pushed Himchan roughly to the floor and panted because of all the emotions inside him were just boiled madly. Himchan coughed and spitted some more liquids to the floor.

“YOU SON OF A ! SO DISGUSTING!”

Yongguk then stared at his tainted shirt and bad smell rose up to his nose, “!!”

He cursed before quickly ran upstairs to his room to get a shower and change his clothes.

You eyed Yongguk running to his stairs with napkin on your hand. You scratched your hair and came to the living room.

“Eotooke…?” You sighed more when you stared at Himchan.

L.Joe patted your shoulder and took the napkin from you. “Don’t worry, I will help you….”

“B-but…”

L.Joe shook his head, “No 'but', Jae. First, we need to change his clothes and then clean the living room. Can you lend him a shirt? Hmm maybe Yongguk hyung’s shirt?”

You nodded, “J-just bring him to my room. I will take the shirt from Yongguk oppa’s room.”

L.Joe smiled then grabbed Himchan’s arm to pull him up. Suddenly, Daehyun came and helped him carrying Himchan to your room.

Your eyes went bigger. Daehyun…? You—

“Wow… I never thought Himchan hyung is just as light as a feather.” L.Joe was taken aback by the fact that he could lifted Himchan’s body so easily, but in fact, he didn’t know that Daehyun was helping him.

You walked to your room with both of them. You glancing back a few times and grew confused.

Why did Daehyun suddenly help L.Joe oppa…? It’s really rare to see Daehyun wants to take care of a human though…

You sighed then open your door’s room. “Just wait here, I will bring a shirt for him…”

“Okay, thanks.” L.Joe smiled and went inside your room.

He landed Himchan on your bed then propped both of his hands on his waist.

Geesh… Why did I even agree to help this hyung? Tch…

Daehyun looked at Himchan then to L.Joe. He furrowed his eyebrows when he felt his heart reacted again. The familiar feeling came once again to him.

And why did I help them…? I must be not on my right mind today.

---------------------

L.Joe blew his bangs as he stared at the figure on your bed. Hyung, you owe me a lot for this, okay? It’s my first time ever to help a guy change their clothes. I don’t even do this to my own members….

Himchan was sleeping quietly on your bed and he didn’t give any sign of waking for the next few hours. L.Joe then stared at your wall and let out a deep sigh.

He traced his finger on one of the poster on the wall. Seriously…? I do know that Jae really likes him, but I never think to this extent… So she still admires him so much, huh?

L.Joe then looked more to your night desk to see more Himchan’s merchandise on top of it. He shook his head then pointed his finger on sleeping Himchan.

“You know what, hyung? You sure are a lucky bastard. I envy you…”

On the corner of the room, Daehyun watched all of it. He leaned on the wall while crossing his arms. He kept questioning himself why he was willing to help both L.Joe and Himchan. Why did I do that? And why did I even cry back then? This is just too ridiculous…

“Can I come in now?”

There’s a knock on the door and L.Joe turned his head. He recognized your voice and answered, “Sure. Come in~”

You came inside after you cleaned the living room. You brought a glass of water for L.Joe and put it on your night desk.

Daehyun trailed behind you and tapped your shoulder, “Ya, why should we put this drunken guy on your bed? Don’t you think let him sleep on the sofa would be more than enough? And where is your right mind? What if your brother came inside this room after he finished taking shower and see the three of you here, inside your room?”

You glared at him. And since when you talk so much like this, huh?

Daehyun made a face when you purposely bumped onto his shoulder. And for your information, I already feel stress since this morning, so stop nagging around something useless and doesn’t even important. Seriously, don’t you think my life is pathetic? Just what’s wrong with my peaceful life?! Tch!

You then sat on a chair while L.Joe sitting on your bed. “How is he?”

Daehyun gawked at your thoughts.

Jae, how can you said something like that…? Don’t you know how important your existence to my life?!

L.Joe gave you a smile, “Don’t worry. He is asleep like a baby right now.”

You chuckled, “Thank you for your help… I’m glad to have you at a time like this. I don’t have any idea what would happened if you were not here and I need to do all these things by myself.”

“No! Don’t do these things by yourself! You can’t change a guy’s clothes!” L.Joe pouted and you laughed.

“That’s why I thanked you, right?” You smiled at him and he laughed as well.

“Anyway… How can he become like this at the first place? I mean… Did he come here in drunk state?”

You kept your stares to the floor. I wonder if it’s Yongguk oppa who intentionally made him like this…

“J-jae…?” L.Joe called you and you looked back at him, “Oh! Of course n-not, he drank with Yongguk oppa and it turned out he is a weak drinker…”

“Whatever happened… Himchan hyung will always be someone that you admire, am I right?” L.Joe forced a smile.

You could see there was something on his smile. You noticed that his lips formed a smile, but his eyes were sad. You did realize that the words he just spilled filled with so much hurt.

You cleared your throat and rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly since you didn’t know what to answer.

L.Joe scratched his temple awkwardly as well and tried to find another topic that can melt the situation. He then eyed Himchan’s shirt and giggled.

You looked up to see him laughing and you grew confused, “Why are you suddenly laughing?”

“Nothing…. But his shirt is kind of… bright.” L.Joe chuckled, “I never thought that Yongguk hyung have a yellow shirt like this.”

You puffed your cheeks, “Well… It’s not Yongguk oppa’s…”

“Hmm? Then whose?” L.Joe became confused but realized it instantly, “Ahh… Is it your younger brother’s? Is it Yong—“

“Don’t say his name!”

L.Joe was shocked because you suddenly yelled. Daehyun furrowed his eyebrows in response and he stared at your tensed expression.

You gulped and looked down in shame, “S-sorry… I was j-just…”

L.Joe biting his lips awkwardly, “N-no, it’s okay… I understand… I am sorry.”

You shook your head with eyes still focusing on the floor, “You don’t need to apologize.”

L.Joe then grabbed your hand and Daehyun stiffened.

“Jae-ah… I do know how you feel… I know how it feels when someone important in our life left us...” L.Joe rubbed your hand with his thumb, “I know it very very well.”

Daehyun’s eyes slightly widened and he could felt the pain inside his heart appeared again. He squeezed his heart and breathed heavily. This feeling... Why I feel so hurt after he said those words…?

You forced a smile and tried to hold back your tears, “Thank you.”

L.Joe gave you a warm smile and you continued, “It’s his favourite shirt… I saved it before Yongguk oppa burnt all his stuff into ashes. I want to keep at least one of his favourites…”

You sighed and L.Joe suddenly caressed your cheek, “Be strong. You are Bang Yoonjae, remember?”

You nodded and suddenly you heard Daehyun speaking behind you. He grabbed both of your shoulders from behind.

“Don't be sad for something on the past. If you never step forward, you're always stuck at the same place, Jae…”

You slightly nodded, giving him a cue that you heard his words. Daehyun squeezed your shoulders and put his chin on top of your head.

I wonder how many words that I need to tell you until you can really moving forward…?

“If you were me, will you really be able to move forward and keep all the bad memories deep inside your heart forever like it never happened…?”

You were talking to Daehyun, but of course L.Joe mistook it that you were talking with him.

He startled, “O-oh? M-me? I…”

“You act like you know everything about me…. Funny.” You scoffed as you felt Daehyun’s hands left your shoulder.

Just tell me, Jung Daehyun… Who are you…?

“Huh? W-what?” L.Joe became more confused and he scratched his head, “Did I say something wrong? M-mianhae, Jae.”

Daehyun stiffened and he couldn’t utter a single word. He turned his back at you and a droplet of tear ran down to his cheek. He quickly wiped it before another one came out from his eyes.

What the hell is wrong with me?! Since when I become a type of someone who will care about human’s life?! ! You are an idiot, Jung Daehyun…

You just stayed silent and still immersed with Daehyun’s words. L.Joe didn’t know what to say and guilt rushed inside him. He took your both hands and stared deeply into your eyes.

“Jae-ah… I hope you didn’t get me wrong… I don’t mean to—“

You stared back at him, “No, oppa. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m okay… I was just…” Your expression turned dark, “My mind is in a mess right now. I am confuse with the situation happening to my life right now…”

L.Joe patted your head, “You will be alright. You are strong. I trust you can go through all of it.”

You weakly smiled, “Thank you again.”

“No, don’t thank me.” He shook his head, “I promise I won’t bring up about your younger brother anymore. I will be careful with my words.”

He then hit his mouth lightly and you chuckled seeing his cute side.

“So…” L.Joe glanced at the clock and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “Is it okay if I stay here…? Because I can’t just let you together with Himchan hyung in the same room for the whole night.”

You bit your lower lips, “Err…”

“I-I will just be here until someone pick him up like you said.”

You stared at him, “L will be back soon. You can just go back home now. Nothing to worry about.”

L.Joe’s body stiffened again when you mentioned L’s name and he could feel a spank inside his heart.

The pain… It comes again.

He suddenly grabbed your wrist and you let out a faint gasp, “O-oppa…”

“Jae-ah…”

He keep staring at your eyes without blinking and you felt burden because of it. You tried to yank away your wrist from his grasp, but he just tightened his grip on your wrist.

“Why it can’t be me…?”

His words made you looked at him with wide eyes. Daehyun also turned his head instantly and his eyes were as wide as yours.

“L.Joe o-oppa…?”

You were hoping he was just joking around, telling you that he was just trying to cool down the mood with a smile. But L.Joe didn’t even smile. His expression was serious and you could see how his eyes stared at you with full of hurt feeling.

The flashback when L told him about your relationship replayed inside your mind. You remembered again how desperate his expression was at that time when L told him and here you are now, feeling guilty. But hey wait, why do you must feel guilty?

“Oppa…” You tried to call him and he tightened his grip on your wrist even more, as if he was scared you will say something that will make him break into pieces once more.

You took a deep breath, “You will never know how much I feel guilty towards you at that time and even until now… It’s not like I don’t understand about your feeling to me… But it’s just—“

L.Joe’s pupils started to shake and he was in the verge of crying. Please Jae…

“I was just… too shock. I was surprised. And about me and L… Like what it has been said before, I really love—“

You gasped loudly when L.Joe suddenly pull you for a hug.

“D-don’t. Don’t say it.” He hugged you tightly and he could felt his eyes already sting and he could cried any moment, but he just didn’t want to show you those tears.

He doesn’t want you to see his pain.

“L.Joe oppa…” You felt sorry so you didn’t push him off or budge him.

On the other hand, Daehyun was surprised as well. What the hell…

L.Joe put his chin on your shoulder, “Jae-ah…”

You didn’t reply him and L.Joe just continued, “Do you really feel that way… towards L…?”

You hummed in response and he loosened the hug. You leaned backwards so you could meet eyes with him.

“It feels like, I am willing to do anything for him and yes… I will do everything for him.” You felt sorry, but still you couldn’t lie about your feelings, “Isn’t this what you called with love…?”

You smiled at him with pink shades on your both cheeks and L.Joe’s face turned pale.

She is blushing when talking about L…

Your smile vanished when you realized L.Joe didn’t say anything.

“Oppa…? What’s wrong?”

L.Joe stared at you with a lot of thoughts inside his head. He felt disappointed; he felt jealousy filled inside his whole body, he felt hurt. He wants to be mad, but he just can’t.

I watched you walk away, Jae… but you made it perfectly clear that you didn't want me to chasing after you.

Still, L.Joe didn’t want to show you his weak side. He just wishing you won’t know about his pain.

He forced a smile, “I think I can understand why it can’t be me… it’s because you only see me as your brother, right? But… Why it should be him?”

Jae, you know what? Even if you ask me to die right now, I will do that for you…

“And why it can’t be him? Do you really hate him that much?” You turned sad and lowered your head, “I don’t know what exactly happen between the two of you… but can you guys stop hating each other and just befriend? Both of you… are important people in my life.”

“How?” L.Joe scoffed, “How to befriend with him when I hate him even more now because you chose him? Jae-ah… I am now so desperately in love with you…”

You didn’t know what to say,