Yerin couldn’t sleep. She kept on looking at her phone to check on the time. She sighed. She wanted to sleep. But, sleep wouldn’t come to her. Something ugly was invading her mind. Like that, her breath was labored. Her lungs gasped for air, her vision got blurry, and her heart was palpitating.

Yerin felt like she’s sinking underwater. Her hands were shaking and she closed her eyes tight, desperately trying to stay afloat. Still, she gasped for air. The ugly things inside her head were screaming profanity at her. Yerin tried to block it using both of her hands.

Still, she could hear it. Still her eyes were wet with unshed tears. Still, her lungs were gasping for air. Yerin stood up from the bed unsteadily. Everything was too much for her. Her head was pounding with the rush of things, which had entered her mind without warning. And everything was too much to handle right now. Too much.

She wanted to run away from it all. She has decided. She yanked her jacket in a flash. She hurriedly run out of the room. She needed to run away. She need to run away from the monsters before she crumbled again. Yerin stopped on her track to take one last glance at the other occupants in their small room. At the girls who’s sleeping tucking close to each other.

For a moment, Yerin hesitated. She wanted to hold on the one on that bed to keep her floating instead of drowning. Yerin shook her head. No!NO! I can’t do that! I can’t—I should just run!

Yerin made a mad dash out of the dorm. Inside her head, words were jumbled and it shouted at her. why?! Why wouldn’t it stop!?

Her feet hit the road outside their building. She picked up her speed and soon she’s fully running.

It’s early morning, and she’s exhausted, and probably lost. Yerin didn’t know where she should run away to, all that she knew was the fact that she needed to run before the monsters inside her head caught her.

--

Sowon woke up with a jolt the moment she heard the slamming of the door. Something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She stared at Eunha who’s still sleeping peacefully and a smile formed automatically on her face.

Still, something was wrong and Sowon wanted to find out what has caused the nagging feeling. She tried to detangle herself from Eunha gently. Once she’s able to stand from her bed, Sowon noticed the empty bed opposite of her. Frowning, Sowon pat the bed to check, it’s still warm, so Yerin might not have been leaving her bed for long. Sowon decided to walked out of her room.

Her eyes fell onto the figure crouching in front of the television.

“SinB,” Sowon called.

SinB was cursing when she turned to Sowon. “Don’t surprise me like that.”

Sowon would have laughed at SinB’s expression if not for the worry that she felt. “SinB, do you see Yerin?”

--

SinB was walking aimlessly in the living room after she finished her business in the washroom. Her eyes fell onto the clock. It’s early in the morning, almost 5am. SinB wasn’t a morning person, in fact she would really like it if she could fall asleep again. But, she’s jolted awake when she heard the door being slammed.

Once SinB managed to climb out of her bed to check the living room, nothing was there. So, she’s shrugging her shoulder and went to the washroom. And she’s going to watch the television when Sowon called her out of nowhere and almost made her heart jumped out of her chest.

“SinB,” Sowon called.

SinB was cursing when she turned to Sowon. “Don’t surprise me like that.”

“SinB, do you see Yerin?”SinB frown. “No, I don’t. Why? Isn’t she supposedly still sleeping?”

“Supposedly. But, her bed is empty. And the door being slammed, do you hear that?”

SinB slowly nodded. Her heart was pounding. She run to take her phone. She tried to call Yerin’s phone only for them to hear it ringing from the room that Sowon and Yerin had shared.

“,” SinB cursed again.

And the sinking feeling at the realization that Yerin has gone without telling anyone, her heart was still pounding. She rushed to the door, she needed to find her.

Sowon threw her a jacket. “Wear that and bring your phone. She might still be close because her bed is still warm.”

SinB nodded.

--

A part of Sowon wanted to follow them and another part of her want to just let SinB to take care of it, because she thought that it would be good for them. Still, the worry ate her up. She’s still wringing her hands in worry when she felt a soft hug from behind.

“It will be okay,” Eunha said softly against Sowon’s back.

Sowon relaxed instantly.

“Wait here, I will get our jackets then we could go after them,” Eunha said again, “They will be okay. We will be okay.”

“Okay,” Sowon replied, felt comforted by Eunha’s words.

--

SinB thought of Yerin while she’s running. She knew that Yerin has all of these things inside of her that she rarely shares. And SinB also knew that whatever those things were, they kept on clawing at Yerin. There’re times when Yerin was her sunshine self but there’re also times when it’s all thunder and lighting.

She’s afraid that someday she would lose Yerin. Afraid that she couldn’t make Yerin stay. She runrunrun fueled by her adrenaline. Fueled by her fear, SinB runrunrun. As fast as her feet could bring her. She wouldn’t stop until she could catch her.

--

Yerin kept on running. She couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop. Her lungs were burning. Still, she runrunrun. It’s getting difficult for her to breathe. Still, she run. Because her mind was still on overdrive. She would stop when her mind has stopped torturing her.

She run and run. Run till her legs gave up on her. Run till she slipped on the pavement. Her arms flailed around, trying to break her fall. Still, she fell. Hard.

Hot tears were running down her eyes. She pounded the ground angrily. Even my body betrayed me! Why can’t thing go the way I want it to?! Why—

And then she heard it.

“Yerin-unnie!”

She recognized that voice. The frantic voice has managed to break through amidst her tears. Yerin turned to look at SinB running toward her. Her face was full of worry and her jacket was buttoned wrong and her hair was unkempt. Isn’t she cold? Run through Yerin’s mind.

When SinB arrived in front of her, she threw herself to Yerin wordlessly. Yerin winced a bit when her back touched the ground again when SinB jumped at her.

--

“Unnie!” SinB pulled her up so that Yerin was sitting on the pavement. She scanned Yerin from her head to toe. “You are bleeding. Come, let’s go home.” Worries dripped into SInB’s voice. “Unnie, why? Are you okay?”

Yerin blinked.

“You are crying,” SinB stated. She used her sleeves to wipe Yerin’s tears away. “Does it hurt?”

“I need to run, SinB,” Yerin said, hollow to SinB’s ears.

“Run?” SinB tried to probe.

“…Eunbi, I—can’t—I don’t know. I just want to run—no, I need to run.” Yerin averted her eyes. “Even now, I need to run.”

--

“Unnie,” SinB voice was filled with worry and pain.

And it pained Yerin as well.

“Unnie, I don’t want to see you like this. Unnie, please lean on me?” SinB placed both of her hands on Yerin’s shoulder.

A wave of anger surged in her heart. “Like what, Eunbi?! Like what?” the tired hint on SinB’s voice angered her. Because it wasn’t SinB who has difficulty falling asleep, and it wasn’t SinB who has demons inside her head who kept on drowning her or making her gasping for air just to stay afloat.

“You are hurt,” SinB said, “I don’t want to see you getting hurt like this.”

Yerin’s back stiffened.

“Unnie, I keep on telling you this. That I am here, always here for you. Unnie, let me in?” SinB shook Yerin’s shoulder. “Will you let me in?”

“Eunbi, I—don’t know how—“

“Unnie, do you even want to let me in?”

Yerin snapped, “You don’t understand! You don’t get it!” She noticed the way SinB flinched at her words. “I don’t know how but you keep on forcing it, you keep on asking!” Yerin shouted. “You said you love me, but do you even know what that mean? Do you, Eunbi?” angers bubbled up inside her and for once Yerin raised her voice.

“I know I love you, unnie. I am almost keel over with worried when I know you are gone. Don’t—and I mean it, unnie. I ing mean it when I said that I love you!” SinB’s nails were digging at her shoulder. She’s shouting right now. “Unnie, don’t you—don’t you ever doubt it, my feeling toward you.”

Yerin took a deep breath. “Alright! Alright, I will you!” Yerin shouted as well. “I am afraid! Of falling. Of drowning. I am afraid,” Yerin’s breath has become labored again. “But, I kept on falling, I kept on drowning. It’s so scary how I couldn’t stop it. And my head was so full of ugly things. And they’re screaming at me.”

SinB was looking at her.

“And you know what else I am afraid of? I am afraid that you will leave, that this side of me will make you leave me. Because you are important for me, and I can’t—if you leave me—” tears have made her eyes blurry. “Because, Eunbi you are precious for me. And more than that, I am afraid of hurting you.”

“Yerin-unnie, look at me,” SinB said softly.

“You don’t know it, I don’t know how,” Yerin said harshly, “I love you. You are straightforward but stubborn and sometimes you said one thing but mean something else… and I love you.”

“Unnie, hey,” SinB took Yerin’s hand in hers. “Unnie, I love you. I am staying, okay? I won’t leave you no matter what. If you let me to stay, if you want me to stay, I will stay. Ah no, even if you don’t want me to, I will still stay. I am stubborn like that, you know that.” SinB’s smile was gentle and Yerin’s head was quiet.

SinB pulled her into a hug. Yerin gripped SinB’s jacket tightly.

“I will stay with you until our hairs are grey and we’re walking with crutch,” SinB mumbled against Yerin’s head, “Until we’re old, I will stay with you. You wouldn’t be able to get rid of me, you know?”

“You better stick to your words,” Yerin said, a small smile escaped from her lips.

“Let’s pinky promise, unnie,” SinB suggested. She offered her pinky to Yerin who took it with a wider smile than before.

SinB pulled her again into a hug. “So, unnie. You should stay too. Stay and don’t leave.”

“Alright,” Yerin agreed easily.

“If ever you want to run, tell me so that I could run with you,” SinB said.

“Alright,” Yerin agreed again.

She might still be going to drown but not right now. Not right now. Right now she wanted to stay beside this person who’s precious for her.

--

“They’re okay,” Eunha said.

Sowon nodded. “Let’s go back.”

“We are going to leave them just like this?” Eunha asked. She took Sowon’s hand and held it.

“They would be fine now that they have found their way to each other,” Sowon smiled.

“Alright,” Eunha leaned on Sowon’s side, smiling as well.

--

“You know,” Eunha turned to Sowon curiously.

“Hm?” Sowon asked.

“I haven’t got my morning kiss,” Eunha pouted.

Sowon was flustered. She raised Eunha’s hand up to plant a kiss on it. “I will give you more later,” Sowon winked.

Eunha giggled happily. “You better.”

“Pillow fort,” Sowon said.

“Huh?”

“Let’s make one at home and then let’s make out in it,” Sowon grinned at her.

Eunha’s replied was a girlish squeal. She pulled Sowon with her. “In that case, we need to hurry, unnie.”

Sowon laughed.

--

I didn’t see her love,

I felt it as plainly as the sun,

As straightforward as the rain,

And as steady as the moon.

Her love.

---

a/n :

(´ ᴗ｀✿)

thank you for reading and commenting till now <3