A/N :

italic = thought

'word' = text message

Eunha opened her eyes to an empty bed. Fear gripped her heart. She could feel her heartbeat was increasing rapidly. She rose up from the bed as quick as she could. Her eyes roamed the room to search for the other occupant of the shared bedroom. She found her roommate standing in front of the window pane. Relief flooded her heart the moment she recognized that figure was indeed the one she’s been searching for.

Eunha looked around the room, briefly wondering where they were. Ah, we’ve went overseas. For a variety show. Her eyes went back to her roommate’s back. Long time ago, they have been in a similar but different situation. Her, watching Sowon’s back while the moonlight illuminated her, making Sowon looked almost ethereal. Different from the playful mood from that one time when they she stole a few scoops of ice cream, this time besides looking like an ethereal being, Sowon also looked…. fragile.

Eunha pondered what kind of expression Sowon has. Was she smiling? Was she watching the moon adoringly? Or was she frowning instead?

Along that line, Eunha also pondered what’s going on Sowon’s mind. A part of her wished that she’s able to read Sowon’s mind so that she’ll know what to do. People around her said that Sowon’s an open book. Eunha beg to differ. Because, no, Sowon might be obvious about a few things, but at the same times, Sowon also kept a lot of things to herself. And, the things that Sowon kept to herself, those things, Eunha prayed that those things wouldn’t end up eating Sowon from the inside. Eunha wished, she wholeheartedly wished that Sowon wouldn’t get hurt by herself.

Eunha kept on watching her girlfriend’s back. Eunha wanted to be strong. She wanted to be strong so that she could support Sowon. Because for the amount of times Sowon has wiped Eunha’s tears away, the amount of times Sowon has shielded Eunha’s heart from pain while bruising her own heart, because Eunha wanted to be the one who’s able to wipe Sowon’s tears away, because Eunha wanted to be able to heal Sowon’s bruising heart.

Eunha run her hand through her hair. She has been thinking for a really long time before she’s able to make a decision to cut her hair. Sowon has been one of the fuels for her decision. In the past, Eunha couldn’t let go of Sowon’s hand yet at the same time, she wasn’t able to close the distance between her and Sowon’s heart. Eunha from that time was a huge coward who wanted to be loved yet unable to take any steps out of the wall surrounding her tightly guarded heart. That Eunha, after lots of sleepless night, has decided that she wanted to answer to Sowon’s feeling clearly. She wanted to stay at Sowon’s side. She never felt like this toward anyone else before, not even Yuju, whom she adored could make her feel like this.

Eunha put her feet on the floor. She stood up from the bed. Firmly, she walked toward Sowon. As she reached her destination, without hesitating, she wrapped her arms around Sowon’s waist from behind. Sowon’s body became tense for a moment. Eunha squeezed Sowon’s body gently. She could feel Sowon’s body relaxing and leaned back at her.

Eunha rested her chin or tried to rest her chin on Sowon’s shoulder, because her girlfriend is tall way way way taller. Eunha struggled a bit before she settled to just kind of place her chin on Sowon’s shoulder. “What are you thinking about, unnie?”

Sowon squeezed Eunha’s hands on her waist. “Nothing. I just thought that I am going to miss you a lot tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. And on days I can’t see you…”

Eunha smiled. “I am going to miss you too, unnie.” Is that really all that you have been thinking about, unnie?

Sowon chuckled.

Eunha nodded. “I am going to miss this thoughtful and kindhearted unnie, who always held out her hands for me to shield me from the harsh rain. The strong unnie who stood straight to protect us, to protect me even though the rain kept on falling and she got wet herself. I am going to miss that unnie.”

“Eunha…”

“I am also going to miss eating with the unnie who couldn’t like eating alone. I am really really going to miss holding her hands. And teasing her. And hugging her. And…”

Sowon turned around so that she faced Eunha. “And?” Sowon questioned.

“And, I am going to miss this…” Eunha tiptoed to kiss Sowon’s lips. “Kissing you like this, unnie.” Eunha went for another kiss.

“Eunha… you…”

“I am what, unnie?”

“You are being too much, just earlier this night, you said stuffs like you wanted me… to do stuffs with me…” Sowon covered her eyes. “And just now, saying stuffs like this…. You are going to kill me, Eunha…”

Eunha chuckled.

“Oh, don’t laugh. I feel like… feel like I am going to explode with all of this feeling…. Feeling toward you… feeling which appears because of you…”

Eunha smiled in satisfaction. She loved the way Sowon reacted to her. Her girlfriend was just way way way too cute for her own good. And people said that Eunha’s cute. Pah! Sowon-unnie is even cuter than me, than anyone that I know. My super cute girlfriend… for some reason, Eunha wanted to announce that she has the cutest girlfriend in the world. Maybe I should?

Sowon peeked from behind her hands. “Yah, you have such creepy grin. What are you thinking about?” she poked Eunha’s cheek.

“You. I am thinking about how cute my girlfriend is,” Eunha answered. Grin still intact.

“Stop grinning like that, you are freaking me out.” Sowon’s face was red. Eunha’s grin got even bigger.

“Aren’t I now? But, I think you still find me adorable like this… right?” Eunha pulled Sowon’s hand toward her.

“You are right. Even though you are grinning like a creep, I still find you the most adorable.”

Eunha grinned. “What will happen if that feeling explode?”

Sowon intertwined their hands together. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know… but, something just—I just don’t want to do things I am—things that I am not sure that either of us ready for it. Things like being greedy of you. Of your affection, of your attention. Of wanting you all to myself. Only for me…”

“Unnie…”

“Are you scared of my feeling, Eunha?”

It felt like dejavu, like this isn’t the first time she asked about such things. “Your feeling used to scare me in the past. I am not afraid of your feeling anymore. Because I feel the same, unnie. I want unnie, all of unnie for myself only. Like, there are times I don’t want to share you with other kids. For you to look at me only. You should just look at me, even if we’re apart, only think of me…well, maybe you could think of other kids too a bit. But like, ninety percent of your heart, fill it with me. Only me.”

Sowon squeeze Eunha’s hand.

“You are saying that your feeling is scary… I think my feeling toward you is even scarier, unnie.” Eunha’s eyes met Sowon’s gaze.

“We are both scary then…” Sowon concluded. She looked at Eunha’s lips. Slowly caressing it with her thumbs. “Can I kiss you?”

Eunha nodded. Sowon leaned down to plant a kiss on Eunha’s forehead down to her eyes. Down to her cheek. Both cheeks. Then she kissed Eunha’s nose. Eunha’s chin. Up to her lips. She kissed Eunha slowly. Gently. At first. And then their kisses become more heated… more passionate until they both are out of breath. Sowon leaned her head on Eunha’s shoulder. Planting soft kisses along Eunha’s jaw to her ear. She whispered to Eunha’s ear, “I love you…”

Eunha shuddered from the way Sowon’s whispered her words. Intimate and sincere and hopeful. Until she felt that Sowon was planting kisses on her ear. Gently. Sowon was nibbling on her ears gently. She gripped Sowon’s pajamas tightly. Her body was tingling in anticipation. Of what, she didn’t know. Just that, something was pooling at her stomach. Down to her toe. On her fingertips.

“Do you hate it?” Sowon asked. Pulling back to gaze at Eunha.

Eunha’s mind was becoming hazy. Her body was behaving weirdly. From her toes to her fingertips down to her stomach. Even her skin felt hot. But, Eunha knew for sure that she didn’t hate it, even one bit.

“I don’t hate it, unnie. My body feels weird but I don’t hate it,” Eunha said breathlessly.

Sowon smiled. “It’s enough then. But, we have to sleep now, it’s already midnight…”

Eunha nodded. To her surprised, Sowon lifted her body and carried her bridal-style to the bed.

“Whoa! Unnie!” Eunha squealed in delight and surprise.

Sowon only laughed at her.

--

Yuju looked at how the pair in front of her saying goodbye to each other. Why in the world are they behaving as if they aren’t going to see each other for weeks or months? They’re only going to be separated for two nights…..

Yuju heaved a sigh when the questionable pair finally hugging each other goodbye. No, Yuju wasn’t a bit jealous at how much the two cares for each other. Well, maybe she was a tiny bit, just a tiny bit, felt envious at the bond that Sowon and Eunha have. She wondered if someday, she’ll be able to find someone who will make her feel like it’s only them existing in the world. Someone who will make her forgetting the world around her when they’re together.

--

Sowon looked out the window and sighed. The night view was beautiful. The whole city was beautiful. She has heard about how beautiful the night view at Budapest was. She’s been looking forward to it. Her ride through the lake proved it. She felt kind of pity that Umji couldn’t view it with her here. She’s going to like it a lot. Even though they have a video call to show the beautiful view at Umji, it’s—it wasn’t enough.

Through regret and pity which filled her heart, Sowon wished that someday, all six of them could go here again and view the scenery together. Hopefully, without the cameras following them around.

Sowon started to count the stars when her eyes caught a shooting star. Her mind briefly wondered to Eunha. This beautiful view, these thousands of stars, I wonder if she watches it too. The distance within them wasn’t that far apart. They’re still under the same sky. Yet, it felt like there were existing at different planets.

People and books have been romancing about how longing feel like. As if the word ‘miss’ was such a beautiful word, about how beautiful it is to miss someone. It isn’t. Nothing beautiful about missing the person you loved. Instead, it’s painful.

Sowon closed her eyes. She took a deep breath. Inside her minds, she pictured her girlfriend’s smiles. Sowon opened her eyes. She reached for her phone. She scrolled through the name until she found her name. Sowon hesitated to press call. Because, what if Eunha’s been sleeping? It’s going to be a bother for Eunha. Sowon stared at her phone long and hard. Moments later, she placed her phone back to the bedside table.

Sowon closed the curtain, she decided to sleep. Tomorrow was another long day. Sowon was about to lay down on the bed when her phone buzzed. A message.

‘unnie, are you asleep? It’s weird. usually I could fall asleep easily. but, for some reason, i am wide awake. i am not one to watch over the sky, yet… right now, i am watching the night sky which you liked so much.’

Sowon smiled unconsciously after she read Eunha’s message. She’s about to replied when another message come.

‘unnie, the clock has been ticking continuously. it’s past midnight. i am still awake. wide awake. wondering why.’

There’s another message come.

‘i think I know why. because you aren’t here with me.’

Another message come. Eunha has been spamming her and Sowon could only chuckled because-

‘sojung-unnie… i miss you. now that I think about it, it isn’t like we have been apart for days but still, I miss you.’

Because Eunha has been feeling the same things as her. Sowon typed her replied.

‘you are spamming. i don’t mind it. because, i miss you too.’

‘unnie, sojoung-unnie. my dearie sojoungie’

‘sojungie? yah! i am still older than you!’

‘ppfth…fine, my dearie sojoung-unnie…’

‘good’

‘i miss you’

‘can i kiss you?’

‘sure, but…we are miles apart, unnie. two hundred and ninety one miles apart… how are you going to do that?’

‘mwah’

‘….. unnie, i can’t believe you just typed that!’

‘ ;) what should i even do? like you said, we are miles apart. i can’t magically appear in front of you… well, I want to do that actually. should i?’

‘that will be really really romantic and flattering if you are suddenly knocking on my door right now as we speak… but, don’t do that… you are going to be in a lot of troubles if everyone find out… could you even go back to your hotel room right on time before the filming started? i don’t think so. so, please don’t do that, unnie.’

‘….okay.’

‘are you disappointed, unnie? you aren’t really here, are you?’

‘i am there…with you…actually.’

‘….huh?’

‘with your heart. aren’t I already a permanent resident of your heart, eunha? so, you are always bringing me with you, everywhere you go. whatever you do. i am always always with you. because you are always remembering me.’

‘unnie…. if that’s the case. wouldn’t that mean that i am always with you, too? because i am an hundred percent sure that i have always been residing inside your heart.’

‘i love you, eunha’

‘i miss you. you owe me a kiss when we meet again, unnie. that ‘mwah’ you texted isn’t enough.’

Sowon chuckled. ‘i will kiss you as much as you want when we meet, my dear dear eunbi.’

Sowon almost choked when Eunha sent her a selca as a reply. That Eunha which had messy bed hair with her oversized pajamas was posing with half of her eyes closed. That Eunha was too cute to handle. Sowon wished morning come faster. Because it will mean that she’s going to meet Eunha faster.

…. Maybe I should send a selca too?

After she sent her selca, her phone buzzed with a message from Yuju. Confusedly, she opened her message. What Yuju sent make her burst into a really loud laugh.

--

Eunha has been tossing and turning in bed. She looked at the bed beside her. Yuju was already fast asleep. They had a long day, shouldn’t she felt tired too. Eunha sighed. She’s supposed to fall asleep as fast as Yuju because she’s equally tired. But, sleep just didn’t come to her.

After tossing and turning for twenty minutes, Eunha decided to leave her bed. She looked at the window. She remembered that the night before, a certain someone has been standing and looking out at the window. It’s a different set of window, but all was the same. Eunha walked toward the window. Being as silent as she could because Yuju was sleeping and she didn’t want to bother her.

She wondered what’s about the sky that Sowon liked so much. She noticed the way the stars were glimmering, the way the moon shone, the way the cloud moved slowly following the wind. It’s beautiful. But, it wasn’t as mesmerizing as when she watched it with Sowon. But, maybe because what Eunha found mesmerizing wasn’t how the sky or stars or moon or cloud looked like. Because, Eunha couldn’t take her eyes long enough from Sowon. From the way Sowon’s lips curved into smile, the way Sowon’s eyes filled with wonder, the way Sowon intertwining their hands together, the way Sowon looked so soft. Sowon.  Just Sowon. All that Eunha could see was Sowon. She never, couldn’t take her eyes away from Sowon long enough to admire how beautiful the sky had looked. Because, for Eunha, the most beautiful, the most mesmerizing, is Sowon.

Eunha noticed that whenever she’s with Sowon, everything become quiet. The world was loud, but when they’re together, it was like the world was on mute. Sometimes, she wondered since when, since when that Sowon’s existence matter so much to her. The first time she met Sowon, she would never guessed it, would never thought that the tall awkward unnie was going to be such important figure in her life.

Eunha looked at the stars. She wondered if Sowon was watching the sky too. They are miles apart. Eunha reached for her phone, she opened her browser and search for the distance between Austria and Hungary, it’s about two hundred and ninety one miles. Eunha sighed. She looked at the clock. It’s already past midnight.

She scrolled through her phone. She stopped at Sowon’s name. She wanted to call Sowon but- what if she’s already asleep? I would be a bother then.

Eunha sighed. Still, she wanted to talk to Sowon. She settled with message.

‘unnie, are you asleep? It’s weird. usually I could fall asleep easily. but, for some reason, i am wide awake. i am not one to watch over the sky, yet… right now, i am watching the night sky which you liked so much.’

Eunha typed another message.

‘unnie, the clock has been ticking continuously. it’s past midnight. i am still awake. wide awake. wondering why.’

She typed another message.

‘i think I know why. because you aren’t here with me.’

And another message.

‘sojung-unnie… i miss you. now that I think about it, it isn’t like we have been apart for days but still, I miss you.’

Eunha stared at her phone. She sighed and decided to try to fall asleep. She’s about to put her phone down when her phone buzzed.

‘you are spamming. i don’t mind it. because, i miss you too.’

Eunha smiled.

‘unnie, sojoung-unnie. my dearie sojoungie.’

‘sojungie? yah! i am still older than you!’

Eunha chuckled.

‘ppfth…fine, my dearie sojoung-unnie…’

‘good’

‘i miss you’

‘can i kiss you?’

Eunha’s heart leaped. Sometimes, she wondered why Sowon always ask when she wanted to kiss her. Does Sowon-unnie ever think that I wouldn’t want to be kissed by her? That’s outrageous.

‘sure, but…we are miles apart, unnie. two hundred and ninety one miles apart… how are you going to do that?’

‘mwah’

Did she just—augh, I can’t believe that Sowon-unnie just typed that kissing effect thingy. Did she thought it’s enough?!

‘….. unnie, i can’t believe you just typed that!’

‘ ;) what should i even do? like you said, we are miles apart. i can’t magically appear in front of you… well, I want to do that actually. should i?’

Eunha could feel her heart was leaping in anticipation. She would really like it if Sowon was here with her, surprising her with a bucket of flowers when she opened the door. But, really… the reality was Sowon couldn’t be here, because things are going to be too complicated if Sowon did come.

‘that will be really really romantic and flattering if you are suddenly knocking on my door right now as we speak… but, don’t do that… you are going to be in a lot of troubles if everyone find out… could you even go back to your hotel room right on time before the filming started? i don’t think so. so, please don’t do that, unnie.’

‘….okay.’

‘are you disappointed, unnie? you aren’t really here, are you?’

‘i am there…with you…actually.’

‘….huh?’

What?! Don’t tell me that—

Right when her heart almost burst, another message come.

‘with your heart. aren’t I already a permanent resident of your heart, eunha? so, you are always bringing me with you, everywhere you go. whatever you do. i am always always with you. because you are always remembering me.’

Ah, so, that’s what she meant…. I am so not disappointed that she isn't actually here. Not a tiny bit dissapointed. Still, she’s way too cute. Because it is strange how she could feel Sowon’s sincerity thorough her text.

‘unnie…. if that’s the case. wouldn’t that mean that i am always with you, too? because i am an hundred percent sure that i have always been residing inside your heart.’

‘i love you, eunha’

Still, Sowon-unnie owed me a kiss. What in the world is that ‘mwah’ even..?!

‘i miss you. you owe me a kiss when we meet again, unnie. that ‘mwah’ you texted isn’t enough.’

'i will kiss you as much as you want when we meet, my dear dear eunbi.’

Eunha smiled so wide it felt like her face almost splitting into two. Her heart felt light. She’s stll missing her unnie but, it’s enough for now. Eunha contemplated her reply. She settled with a selca. Unnie is going to be surprised~~

With a laugh, Eunha sent her selca to Sowon. She waited for another ten minutes before another message come. Well, what she saw almost make her squealed. Oh who did she kid? She did squealed. Sowon sent her a selca. And Sowon looked super adorable….and alluring…? And Eunha almost got a heart attack. Really, her girlfriend is too much sometimes. She muttered to herself, “Unnie…..you are too much…you are going to kill me…”

--

Yuju thought that Eunha might have been thinking that Eunha’s being like a ninja, all silent and soundless. But, really….. she could hear Eunha’s squalled from her bed. She turned to look at Eunha clutching her phone, shaking. Yuju looked in concern at her roommate.

But, when she strained her ear, she could hear Eunha’s soft whine. Her whine sounds suspiciously like ‘unnie…..you are too much…you are going to kill me…’

Yuju concluded that the pair was being in their own world. Yuju smiled. An idea popped up to her. Silently, she captured the way Eunha looked with her phone. Moments later, she sent the picture to her leader whom, she’s sure of it, has been texting with Eunha.

--

A/N : have you ever watched someone's back and thought about what kind of expression they make? thanks for reading and taking some time commenting :)

NB :psst....have you heard it?  .....rookie rookie~~ my super rookie rookie rookie~~