A/N :

italics = thought

Yerin was toying with her hair. She stood beside a riverbank. The place that they used to visit back in their trainee days. Her hair was still blonde. She felt bad for bleaching it back to black. Her gazed swept around the river. She’s looking at the river yet at the same time she wasn’t, her eyes were looking further than the river. She’s looking at the memories of their trainee days. It was played like an old movie. And she’s watching it right now.

The first time Yerin met Sowon, their leader was still Sojung. Red haired, tall, and too beautiful. Yerin was a bit intimidated because Sowon, at that time, she already has an aura surrounding her. Yet, as they spent their days together, Yerin found out that Sowon was just a warm hearted girl.

--

Yerin’s hairband got loose after they practiced. Releasing her long hair out of its hold. As she rummaged through her bag to search for another hairband, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she found Sowon standing there with outstretched hand.

“Use this to tie your hair,” Sowon said simply.

Yerin accepted the hairband. “Oh, you don’t have to—“

Sowon placed the hairband on Yerin’s hand. “I thought you looked really cute with a pigtail, so use this hairband.” Sowon smiled. And just looked really charming.

Yerin blushed by the compliment.

--

Yerin was walking aimlessly from the office building. She was tired. Her heads were full with school and her parents and also her friends. Sure, she could still play with her friends but the frequency got shorter and started to be rare. She’s busy with practice and her friends were busy with school. She didn’t mind to work hard toward her dreams but sometimes, she can’t help but worry.

She could sing well. She danced okay. At least that’s what she thought. But, what if it was actually bad? And she has been over estimating herself?

A lof of what ifs running through her mind. What if they failed to debut? What if they debut but still failed in the end? What should she do if that were to happened? She did quite well at school. So, should she just focus there? What about her parents?

Yerin’s feet brought her to the riverbank. She watched over the river. Yerin leaned on the rail. And she sighed. Yerin liked to smile. Sometimes, she smiled so much that she has forgot how to stop smiling. Sometimes, she smiled so much that tears were falling. Did she fake her smile? Yerin didn’t think so, but, she has been so much better at it. At pretending that everything was okay, that it made her forgot that she wasn’t okay.

Sighing slightly. Yerin pulled out her phone. She browsed the net aimlessly. Searching for anything that could divert her attention away. Yerin was good at that, at burying her problems and feelings. Yerin sighed again. And she felt like crying. But, crying here was going to be too embarrassing.

And then she felt a jacket, no it’s a blazer, was thrown at her head. “You look like you want to cry.”

“Sojung-unnie? Why are you here?”

“Hn. I used to come here every day.”

“Oh…”

“If you want to cry, just cry. No one will see you, you are after all covered by my blazer.”

And so, Yerin cried. And cried. Awkward pats were given on her back until she stopped crying. With jacket on her head, Yerin looked up from the railing.

“Oh, you are not crying anymore. Want some water?” Sowon asked.

Yerin nodded. She held Sowon’s sleeve as she’s about to leave to buy mineral water. “Thank you.”

Sowon was laughing.

Yerin smiled through her tears. And Sowon patted her head while smiling. “You know, every time you need to talk, come to me. I’ll hear you out.”

Such warm words were making Yerin cried again. “Ah… why are you crying again?” another series of pats on her head.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You are not fine right now, but you will be soon,” Sowon said comfortingly.

--

“Unnie, want this pocky? As a thanks for yesterday.” Yerin shoved a box of pocky at Sowon.

“Okay,” Sowon accepted with a smile. “Oh, and you looked cute today.” Sowon laughed while she touched Yerin’s pigtail.

“!!” Yerin’s heart was palpitating.

--

Yerin laughed because she has been watching Sowon carefully for all this time, so she knew. She knew that her feeling wouldn’t be reciprocated. She has been seeing how fond Sowon was being with Eunha when the younger girl started to practice. Slowly, that fondness grown into full blown love. Even as her heart was protesting, Yerin still chose to watch the two budding relationship. The push and pull. The tears. The confusion. The confession. And nowadays, just their happiness. There were some little fights, a lot of making out, and some more jealousy. Along with the love that’s been growing between them.

Yet, her foolish heart still chose to keep on beating so hard. So painfully for that unnie she couldn’t own. First love is stupid. Yet, why wouldn’t it die already? She has promised to Sowon that her feeling has already changed into that of fondness of family not this. But, this foolish heart kept—kept on being swayed—

As it is, Yerin made another resolve. She’ll—she won’t let her heart be swayed by Sowon. Nor will she will let it beat so foolishly at Sowon.

--

“Oh, you just come home? Have you eaten dinner yet?” Sowon greeted her once Yerin has arrived at the dorm.

“Uh… no?”

“Eh? Alright, come with me to the kitchen. Help me cook something for you and for other girls.”

Yerin followed Sowon into the kitchen. “Where are they?”

“The Eunbis are playing together, at some pet café. Yuju was going with her friends. And Umji was going with her family.”

“I see.” Yerin tried to calm herself down. Though her heart was starting to beat irregularly. “So, what should we cook, unnie?”

“Something with all this meat—something easy, oh right. Let’s just mix all of this meat with the sauce and some more vegetable. Then we could fry it. That’ll be okay.”

“…well, if you are sure about it, unnie.” Yerin looked for other ingredients. “If things go wrong, we still have eggs and ramyun. Yep, it’s going to be okay.”

“Of course it is,” Sowon high-fived Yerin.

--

“Yerin… are you okay? Are you feeling under the weather? Lately you don’t seem cheerful.”

“Huh?” she noticed. “I am okay, unnie. Don’t worry, I am just tired.”

“Alright. If you say so. But, you know you could come to me anytime, right?”

“I know, don’t worry, unnie.” but, it’s all because of you. ah, seriously.

Sowon turned to her. “Try this.” Sowon blown a bit to her still hot dishes and gave it to Yerin for her to try.

“Oh… it’s actually good. I am surprised,” Yerin said as she chewed the dish.

Sowon laughed. “I know, right?”

Thump. Not fair. Really really not fair. How could she look so beautiful so effortlessly like that? Totally not fair, my foolish heart… please don’t be like this.

Yerin turned around to hide. To stop looking at Sowon. Yet, as she turned around, Sowon held her close. “Watch it. You are going to hit your head on that cupboard.”

Yerin looked up at Sowon. “Unnie… I…” she looked down again. Then up again. “Unnie, you are really really happy right now, right?”

Sowon was stunned for a moment then she smiled. “I am happy. I hope you will have it too. I hope you’ll find your happiness too, Yerin. It will be great if you do.”

Yerin looked at her feet. What is that? It is as if you are telling me to stop it. To stop looking at you. I would if I could.

Sowon touched Yerin’s hair. “You put it in pigtails again today. How cute~”

How do I do it? The place she touched, it’s warm. I… How do I stop this fruitless yearning…?

--

“Yerin-unnie, what are you doing?!” SinB shouted at Yerin. She snatched Yerin’s phone and held it close. “Why do you want to throw you phone into the river?!”

Yerin was too stunned to talk.

“Unnie, hey, are you alright?” SinB asked softly.

“Why… are you here?”

“Because Sowon-unnie said you might be here. I mean, who goes out for a walk in the middle of the night, like you?! She—because you told her that she shouldn’t follow you, she was almost dying of worry back at the dorm. Pacing back and forth around the living room like crazy.”

Why… are you so warm, unnie? stop being nice to me…

“Yerin-unnie, why are you crying?” SinB pulled Yerin to her embrace.

Instead of answering, Yerin was just continued to cry as SinB hugged her. When she finally stopped crying, SinB was busy wiping her tears away. “Ah, really. Why are you crying? Did something happen? Is someone bothering you? Tell me, I’ll give them a lesson.”

“Don’t talk with your fist, Eunbi.”

“Okay, I wouldn’t if that’s what you want.”

Yerin smiled.

“So, tell me.” SinB tried again to ask.

“I want to throw my phone in a heat of moment. I don’t actually want to throw it,” Yerin explained or tried to explain because her minds were jumbled words.

“Okay. Are you angry at anyone?”

Yerin nodded. “At myself.”

“Why?”

Yerin looked down at her feet. “Because I am stupid.”

“No, you aren’t. Who said that?!” SinB lifted Yerin’s chin up. “Unnie, you aren’t stupid, okay?”

Yerin sniffed. “You don’t understand, Eunbi.”

“Then make me understand, unnie. I wouldn’t know if you don’t tell me!”

“I don’t know… I also don’t know why…”

SinB’s eyes softened. “Okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Just lean on me, Yerin-unnie. I… am—“ SinB’s eyes met Yerin’s. “Unnie, I am not as reliable as Sojung-unnie. I can’t be her. But, I could be Eunbi, the Eunbi that you could lean at. I will always try to be able to be the person you could rely on, Yerin-unnie.” SinB caressed Yerin’s cheek with her thumb. “So, come and lean on me, Yerin-unnie.”

Yerin was silent for a moment then she burst out laughing.

“Why are you laughing?! Sheesh, and I have been being really cool too.”

“Do you realize that you are sounding like you just confessed to me, Eunbi?”

SinB’s face flushed pink. She didn’t answer Yerin’s question.

“Aww, how cute,” Yerin laughed. She trapped SinB into a hug. “But, thank you.”

“Hn,” SinB patted her back awkwardly.

“It’s so good that you are sometime being straightforward like this, Eunbi.”

SinB was reaching for Yerin’s face as if she’s about to kiss her yet, all she was done was pulling Yerin even closer to her and hugged her tightly. “I am not a child anymore, unnie. Yet, there are still a lot of things I don’t know. But, I have been looking at you, unnie. So—hey, don’t laugh! I am being serious, sheesh!”

Yerin was pulling SinB with her. “I get what you are trying to say. Let’s go home. We are going to get scolded when we arrived.”

SinB only sighed. She let Yerin hold her her hand. “So, are you feeling okay, unnie?”

“I am okay, because you are here.” Yerin mustered her brightest smile at SinB. “Thank you.”

SinB gaped at Yerin. “…ah, unnie… you are beautiful.” As if she just realized what she has said, SinB’s face flushed a deeper shade of red.

Yerin was laughing at her. maybe this time she really could do that.

--

SinB yawned when she entered the living room. She watched Yerin approaching her with a box of pocky.

“SinB, want this pocky? As a thank you for last night,” Yerin offered her pocky to SinB.

“Eh? How cheap and you are already eating it.”

“Because it is mine. and I am only sharing it with you. feel honoured.”

SinB sighed. “Well, if you really like the pocky, I’ll just take this one then,” as she finished saying it, SinB came closer to Yerin and bite the pocky that was already in between Yerin’s lips. “Well, bye.” SinB turned around as fast as she could.

Yerin flushed red. But, SinB who has her back on Yerin was blushing as well. Is that smooth? Am I doing it right? Yah, Hwang Eunbi… well done… maybe? SinB kind of wanting to run to the bathroom to hide her red face.

--

“Unnie, don’t worry. They are going to be okay. Come here,” Eunha patted her lap.

“But—but—it’s already late at night. Those two still haven’t arrived.” Sowon complied with Eunha’s request. She laid her head on Eunha’s lap.

“Want to go and fetch them instead?” Eunha asked.

“But, Yerin said we shouldn’t follow her…”

“And you are sending SinB to her because of it. And right now you are dying with worry.”

Sowon covered her face. “They are—their family have entrusted them to me—and I can’t—those two, they are my cute little sisters… I can’t help but worry…”

Eunha pulled Sowon’s hands away from her face gently. “I know. And I love you.”

“And I love you.”

Eunha pecked Sowon’s lips lightly. “That’s why, let’s go and fetch them. Or we could just follow them silently?”

“Hn.”

--

“They are alright, I guess?” Eunha said.

“Why are their faces so red though?” Sowon asked. “Are they cold or something? Well, good things I bring their jacket with me.”

“I don’t think it is because of the cold. But, alright, let’s give it to them.”

Sowon was throwing the jacket at Yerin and SinB. “YAH, come home already! What are you two still doing here?! Look at your face, it is already that red! You are going to catch a cold!”

“Can’t you do it gently, grandma?!” SinB protested, “You don’t have to throw the jacket at us!”

Yerin was laughing beside the grumbling SinB. “You never change, unnie.”

--

A/N : dundundun~

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i was just asking for your age. i am totally didn't make any plan with the knowledge of your age. totally... totally didn't have any plan~ so, please don't anticipate anything~    ｡◕‿◕｡