Chapter 6

Department X

Author's Notes:
Whee... I am on a writing spree. Just had an idea and decided to pen it down. Lets see how things goes from here. :pc: Fighting!!!!!!!!

 

Chapter 6

Finishing the story, Sunny casted a glance at Sooyoung who was busily challenging Yoona to a chocolate eating competition and smiled. "She has protected me from the worst things ever imaginable in the past so now I guess its my turn to protect her now. Its ok if you guys cannot accept her, just let me know and we will take our leave." Jessica pushed her chair back, stood up and started walking towards the 2 of them who were busy fighting over the last piece of chocolate. Grabbing clean napkins from a nearby counter, she walked towards the two ruffians with a smile on her face. She grabbed the last piece of chocolate from their fingers, ignoring their pleading eyes and pouts "You guys had enough. I have uses for this piece of chocolate so stop fighting over it." Handing clean napkins over for them to clean the chocolate off their faces, she turned to Sunny with a smile. "To others they may seem weird and different. But in my eyes, they are angels."

 Turning back to Yoona and Sooyoung, Jessica spoke in hushed whisper "I have a mission for you." Taking a vial labelled Hurts so good hot sauce from her pocket, she poured a little of it onto the chocolate. "Bring this for me to Taeyeon. Remember, don't say its from me ok?" Returning to sit beside Sunny, she sat back and waited for fireworks to fly.

 Sooyoung and Yoona walked hand in hand into the cafe's kitchen where Taeyeon was in there baking up a storm. Holding out the last piece of chocolate in the box they walked to where Taeyeon was. "Unnie, we saved the last piece of chocolate specially for you. 

"Be careful, the oven is hot." Not looking at them, she continued to knead the dough. Determined not to give up so quickly, Yoona stepped away from the oven and held up the box of chocolate again. "Unnie, come on. Give it a try, these chocolate are really really very nice." Sooyoung joined in the pleas as both of them looked at Taeyeon with doeful eyes and smile expectantly, waiting for her to take the bait. Opening , Taeyeon picked up last piece of chocolate and pop it into . Before she started chewing, the two of them ran out of the kitchen, hand in hand heading for the stairs that led up to the residential area upstairs.

 Minutes later, Taeyeon ran out from the kitchen, holding her hand over . Spitting the chocolate out into the basin and turning on the tap, she kept gargling and washing with the cold running water. Opening in the attempt to scream at them, she realised she had lost her voice temporary. Jessica held her stomach as she laugh at Taeyeon's predictament and Sunny just sat there in shock wondering what had just happened.

 Deciding that she had to go help Taeyeon, Sunny walked over with a glass of ice water and handed it to Taeyeon who had turned so red in the face, she looked like an overripe tomato. Taeyeon grabbed the glass and drank it so fast that she started choking, Water sprayed out from her nose and mouth while Sunny hurriedly ran to grab napkins.

 Realising that she had gone too far this time, Jessica stuck out her tongue and walked over to Taeyeon and patted her back gently, while Sunny fussed over her wiping the water off her face and handing her another glass of ice water. Both of them led Taeyeon to sit down on one of the chairs and made her sip on the water slowly. The 2 ruffians slowly walked down from where they were hiding and squatted down beside Taeyeon with an apologetic look on their face. "Taeyeon unnie, we are sorry but it was Jessica unnie who made us do it." Taeyeon turned her glare from the 2 of them and unto Jessica, who was still patting her back gently trying to help calm her down. 

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Taeyeon glared at Jessica once more and headed back into the kitchen. For the remaning day, Taeyeon never spoke a word to Jessica now matter what she did. After the cafe has ended its operation for the day, Taeyeon went to the kitchen again to prepare dinner. Testing her voice, she realised that it has returned back to normal.

 "Dinner's ready!" She screamed up the stairs as she laid out the dishes she cooked for the day.

 Sunny and the 2 kids headed downstairs at the sound of Taeyeon's voice and automatically sat at their places waiting for Jessica to come down and eat. Yoona looked at the dishes then at Taeyeon who sat there with a smirk on her face. When Jessica headed down for dinner, Yoona whispered something to Soo young and the both of them promptly clapped their hands over their ears as a high pitch scream sounded across the room when Jessica saw whats for dinner.

 Fried rice with cucumber, cucumber kimchi and cucumber apple pie for dessert.

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL