Chapter 57

Department X

Yoona screamed at the top of her lungs in frustration as everyone in the cafe turned and looked at her with a puzzled look on their face. Yuri hurriedly reassured the guests that everything was okay as she ran over to Yoona and tried finding out what had happened. Sunny and Taeyeon were out on a surveillance mission and had left the cafe in Jessica and Yuri's care but a last minute solo mission brought Jessica to Uruguay leaving Yuri to tend to the cafe alone. Since Yuri was currently on a one week break before her final test, she reluctantly agreed to help them out after a slight persuasion from Jessica in the realms of their bed.

Yoona looked up as the tears slowly welled up within those doleful eyes of hers and her lips quivered when she spoke "Unnie, it's been the third day now and I still cannot get in contact with Sooyoung. I am afraid of something happening to her." A fat drop of tear rolled down her cheek as Yuri gently reached out to brush it away. Taking a seat on the arm rest of the couch Yoona was in, Yuri smiled as she wrapped an arm around Yoona's shoulder drawing her close. "I am sure Sooyoung is fine. Maybe she is just busy with something and is currently uncontactable as of this moment. I am sure she will contact you once she's free" Yoona sniffed as she drew in her lower lips, gently biting on them. Blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill out she slowly nodded as she leant her head onto Yuri's chest and allowed the warmth of Yuri's embrace to comfort her.

A growling sound interrupted the affectionate moment they shared and Yuri broke into a cheery laughter when she realized that the source of the noise was Yoona's stomach. Standing up, she stretched her taut muscles as she mischievously ruffled Yoona's hair. Yoona faked a snarl at Yuri who smilingly extended out an hand to her"let's go see what we can whip up together."

The egg rolled around on the counter top for a second or two before dropping onto the kitchen floorings and got itself smashed. Yoona tried saving the egg before it could drop but it fell between her fingers as she landed clumsily onto the ground together with it. Yuri rushed over to the source of noise and shook her head with a smile on her facs as she helped Yoona up and brushed the egg shell pieces off her face. Yoona rubbed at the bump on her head gingerly as she turned to face Yuri while pouting. Yuri smiled as she held onto Yoona's arms and gently turned her around pushing her out of the kitchen and into the dining area. Sitting her down by the dining table, Yuri ordered her to stay as she re-entered the kitchen to resume her cooking. Yoona made a face in the direction and bleahed as Yuri's voice floated out from inside the kitchen "I heard that."

Yuri exited the kitchen with a pot of reddish looking stew and two bowls of rice. Yoona tucked in immediately with gusto as she slurped at her food and smiled happily at Yuri. Yuri disappeared into the kitchen again and returned with a plastic bowl and towel. Yoona observed her closely as she took a hard boiled egg out from the bowl and wrapped it inside the towel. Holding the towel up to the bump on Yoona's forehead, she firmly held the squirming Yoona down as she gently rubbed the egg on the bump. Yuri spoke gently as she kept on rubbing and rubbing "I know it hurt and it feels really hot now. But I learnt this method from the natives there during one of the times when I went to south east Asia and it really does work miracles. So stay still ok?" Yoona nodded and tried her best not move allowing Yuri to work her magic with the egg. She felt the pain slowly dissipate and as the heat decreased to a lukewarm temperature, it actually felt pretty soothing to her. Closing her eyes, Yoona slowly fell asleep as the comforting feeling of Yuri's hand on her face, the fullness of the lunch she just had and the warmth of the egg all blended together into one enjoyable feeling of euphoria.

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL