Chapter 24

Department X

Arriving at the gates of the mansion, a huge wrought gate greeted their eyes. Guards stood at attention on the sides as Taeyeon noted that they were mostly equipped with ak47 and carbines. While waiting for the gate to open, they observed the surrounding fences and noticed that it was electrified as they saw a moth disintegrated before their eyes as it touched the fence. The gates opened with a thud as a guard tapped on the window. The driver rolled down the window and the guard took a look at the back of the car as Taeyeon handed over the invitation card they had obtained from the girl earlier. The guard forced out a smile as he greeted them, "Welcome Miss... " Looking at the invitation card again he noted the name as he greeted Taeyeon. "IU. You must be here on your father's behalf" Taeyeon nodded curtly in reply as she kept up the pretense as a Miss IU pretending to be uninterested in talking to a small fry like him. As they were talking, the others were busy scanning their cars with thermal cameras to ensure that there was no one hiding under the car or inside the boot. A security watched over the whole processing and ensured that everything was okay.

Finally they were given the all clear and their limo was waved through. Lush greenery and man made water fountains greeted their eyes next as they took in the view and shook their heads at the amount Isao had probably ursuped from the goverment to be able to live so comfortably out here. The driver stopped in front of a grand hall and opened the door for them. Taeyeon and Sunny headed into the grand hall and saw the most beautiful chandelier they have ever seen. It was made out of swaroski crystals that reflected the light beautifully around them as people gathered in small groups or walked around mingling and making small talks around them. Taeyeon and Sunny stopped a waiter that passed by them and they picked up a champagne each off his tray.  Looking at the glass, Sunny gave a small whistle through her teeth as she looked at Taeyeon. "These champagne glasses are DIG (Diamond in Glass) most luxurious product. Known as Imperial, it cost 65,000 Euro apiece." Raising the glass to her lips, Sunny took a quick sip of her drink and nodded "Wow, He is really living the life. This is a Pernod-Ricard Perrier-Jouet which cost an impressive sum of $50,000 for a standard set of 12 bottles"

Taeyeon nodded as she took a sip of the champagne tasting the blood and sweat of the people that worked their butts off  to pay taxes to the goverment who in turn gets cheated by scums like Isao. She instructed Sunny to split up as they each carried their drinks and blended into the crowd making small talks along the way. Sunny stopped in front of a seperate living area and peered inside as she recognise Isao's face from the mission briefing Tiffany had done up for them. A dark skinned girl sat on the couch opposite him as she appeared uninterested in the topic they were on. Sunny caught her taking out her phone and then sneaking a glance on it as a smile appeared up her face for a split second. Sunny pretend to be interested in the Sushi counter in front as she tried to listen in on their conversation catching snippets of word along the way. Glancing back at the girl who was talking to Isao, she found her oddly familiar as she frowned trying to remember where she had seen her before. Sadly her memories failed her as she really couldn't place a name to the face. The girl stood up to shake Isao's hand as Sunny hurriedly turned her attention to the Sushis in front of her.  She heard Isao thanking her and sending his regards to her father and uncle who went by the surname of Lee. Hearing the surname,  a pang of pain shot into Sunny's heart as it reminded her of her father. They used to go by the surname Lee until the elderly couple adopted them changing it to Choi for them. Flaring her nostrils, she exhaled deeply through her nose as she calmed herself down. Noting the disappointed look on Mr Isao's face, Sunny deduced that this girl was probably not an interested buyer as she shooked his hand coldly and her heels walking out the living area. Sunny kept an eye on her noticing that the girl pressed a number on her speed dial and spoke briefly into the phone "Nothing of interest here. Heading back now." Ending the call, the girl proceed to type out a short message as a smile crept up her face again. She walked down the hallway and stepped into a Rolls Royce Phantom with tinted windows and left the mansion.

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Jessica felt the vibration in her jeans arousing her from her little nap. Sitting up on the couch in the truck, she saw Yoona and Sooyoung busy monitoring the feed from the cameras Taeyeon had placed around the hall and rooms. Taking out her phone, she glanced at it and saw a reply from Yuri. "Missing you too. Can't wait to hurry up and rush back to hold you in my arms. When are you coming back?"  Replying to Yuri that she should be heading back in a few days, she added a kissing emoticon and sent the message over.

The girl Sunny had seen earlier took out the vibrating phone from her purse and smiled to herself.

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL