Chapter 1

Department X

Looking at the outstretched hand blankly, Taeyeon blinked back her tears and before she could react, The outstretched arm just grabbed her right wrist and pulled her to the side as a football hit the steps where Taeyeon was sitting just a moment ago. Not wanting to get into another confrontation, Jessica pulled Taeyeon by her hand and they started running away from the field. As they ran, Taeyeon could feel the warmth from Jessica's hands and somehow she knew she would be safe again with her.

Reaching the chapel, Jessica pulled Taeyeon in and ran to the nearest bench.
"Phew, luckily we got away or Sister Maria will scold me again for starting a fight with them"
"Kim... Kim..Taeyeon" Taeyeon meekly whispered as she panted for her breath after the sprint.
Jessica smiled and pumped Taeyeon's hand up and down. "Welcome to All Saints Orphanage, I know you just lost your parents and its gonna be hard for you to accept that but I will always be here for you ok?"
Hearing those words, Taeyeon's tears fell again but this time she knew that she would be safe. Safe with her.

Two years later In another part of the world.
The kid's fingers danced on the keyboard as she typed in one command after another. Suddenly she felt a head looming above her, "Im Yoona what are you doing with my computer again?" Yoona looked up to see the dean of the orphanage glaring down at her. Smiling cheekily, she on her lollipop and blinked those doe eyes of her before saying. "Nothing omma, I am just playing around."
"Yoona, if it wasn't because of your condition, you would already have been adopted by now." The dean sighed as she chased Yoona away from the room for the nth time. Opening Yoona's file, she updated one line into the many lines she has written, Adoption 8 failed. Sighing deepily again she read the file trying to see if she could find any of Yoona's good point to sell to the parents looking to adopt a kid.

Name : Im Yoona
Age : 6
: Female
History : Found wrapped in blankets at the hospital door.
Pros : IQ rating of 180, cheerful, doe eyed, Has a knack with computers.
Cons : Stuck with the menality of a 5 years old kid due to a rare diease, Always getting into trouble.
Adoption Record : 0
Failed Adoption : 8

Closing the file, she looked at the direction of the open door where she could hear children's laughter drifting in. "Yoongie...What am I going to do with you?"

Fifteen years later

Taeyeon and Jessica walked out from the principal's office hanging their heads low as they held their 3rd and final warning letter in their hands
"Yah! Jessica Jung, look what you did again. Can't you just hold in your temper for a tinny winny bit? Huh This is like the 5th school we have been expelled from and now even this military school won't take us in. How are we going to explain to Sister Maria?"
Jessica hung her head lower and pouted "But the boy was using such profanities. And he thinks he's Romeo rebirth."
"So you had to go knee him in the groin?" Taeyeon slapped Jessica on the arm lightly.
As they argued, they saw a Silver Hummer stopped outside the school and a gentleman stepped out. "Are you girls Jessica Jung and Kim Taeyeon?" Hearing their names they stopped and looked the guy in front of them. Dressed immaculately, with his palms on a diamond studded walking stick, he stood there staring straight at them. The aura around him silenced both the girls as they nodded not knowing what to do next.
"Follow me please, I have a wonderful offer for you girls"

Through the tinted windows of the hummer, they could see themselves entering in a heavily guarded place. Taeyeon gripped onto Jessica's hand as the car rolled to a stop in front of a white building. They were leaded into a room where they were told to sit on the chairs provided, Looking around, they saw another girl grinning at them warmly and they couldn't help but smile back. Just then a ding sound popped up and the girl's expression changed as she pulled out her phone, slide open the qwerty keypad and started typing furiously on the little keypad. Looking at the girl, they saw her expression change as the smile grew wider and wider as she typed away. After that the girl stood up and ran over to them, showing them the spot that bleeped away on her phone's screen. "Unnie, look look. this is where the Asterix Butterfly has flown to. Hah! I knew I could find it. Tomorrow I am going to show to that stupid Yunho" Looking at the screen closely, Jessica nudged Taeyeon, "is that the NASA Logo I see?" She whispered under her breath not wanting to alert the girl who was happily dancing around on the couch behind.

Just then, the door opened and the gentleman from just now stepped in.
"HI girls, sorry we weren't introduced properly. My name is Ralph Lee and you must be wondering why you are brought here. "
Turning on the projector in front of him, he pressed a few keys and a screen showed up in front.
"You girls were chosen from the many orphanages around the world to participate in this experimentary department that we have set up." As he talked, the girls turned their attention as a logo flashed on the wall.
"You girls were chosen because you excel in different fields."
Pointing to the girl at the back "Yoona, you were chosen for your excellence in computing skills. By the way, great job for hacking into NASA. You must be the first person I know that can do that in less than 12 hours." Yoona just beamed away as her fingers continued to type away on the little keypad of her phone.
Pointing to Taeyeon and Jessica "And we have seen your results from school. Your athletics abilities are superb and according to my file, you girls are Judo experts as well, although there might be a little anger management courses needed for Ms Jessica Jung over there" As he finished his sentence, he look down at his pants and winced.

Addressing the 3 girls. he briefly explained the motives and purpose of the department and after a long talk with them, Each of them signed on a form and nodded their agreement.

"Since you have all agreed to join, I would hereby like to welcome you girls to...Department X."
 

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL