Chapter 14

Department X

At the cafe

Sooyoung woke up, stretched and looked forward to another day of playing with Yoona. Heading towards the kitchen, she poured out two bowls of cereal and set it on the table. Walking to Yoona's room, she banged on the door to wake her up. After a while, she realised there was no respond. Opening up the door, she was greeted by a cold and empty room. Running around the house, she started looking for Yoona. She checked the rooms, the toilets even the cafe but Yoona was nowhere to be found. Running into Sunny's room, she burst open the door to find Sunny already dressed up with a worried look on her face. "Unnie unnie, I cannot find Yoona anywhere, have you seen her?" Sunny calmed Sooyoung down as she told Sooyoung to get dressed and she will explain to her on the way. They got into one of the cars parked at the garage and drove towards the hospital as Sunny explained Yoona's situation to Sooyoung.

"Youngie, Yoona is very sick now. There is some bad bad virus inside of her. She is now at the hospital where the doctors there will help to make her feel better." When Sooyoung heard what happened to Yoona, she suddenly put a hand on her chest as she felt a pain tear through her heart. Not knowing what it was that she was feeling, She urged Sunny to drive faster as she somehow felt this was a pain that only Yoona could make better. When they reached the hospital, Sooyoung dragged Sunny as she tore down the walkway running to where Taeyeon and Jessica where sitting. The two of them looked terrible as they didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Sooyoung burst through the door to see Yoona groaning as the medicine coursed through her veins. The nurses were wiping the sweat off her as a doctor inserted a tube through her nose. Sooyoung could see that Yoona was in so much pain and she blamed it all on the doctors and nurses. Pushing the doctors and nurses away from Yoona, she sent a doctor crashing into the equipments as it fell onto the floor. Sooyoung tried to tear the tube away from Yoona as she could tell it made her feel very uncomfortable. Taeyeon, Sunny and Jessica ran into the room stopping Sooyoung before she could any more damage and pulled her outside the room. Sunny brought Sooyoung to a corner and explained to her what the doctors are doing and the effects it will have on Yoona. When they returned, Sooyoung was visibly calmer. Sooyoung walked into the room once more as the doctors and nurses retreated to a side clearning a way for her. Taking up Yoona's hand gently from the side of the bed, she felt it trembled in her hands as the tears started rolling down her face.Turning to face Sunny who had walked in with her and standing behind she asked quietly "Unnie, Yoona will be okay right? You told me the doctors will cure her so she won't die right?" Her lips trembled as she spoke. Sunny pulled Sooyoung into a hug and reassured her that the doctors will definetely cure Yoona. "Then I want to stay here until she is better. I know she wants to see me when she wakes up." Sunny patted Sooyoung's shoulder as she left her there to check up on Taeyeon and Jessica.

Sunny only saw Taeyeon who explained that she had sent Jessica home to get some rest as she really looked like a wreck. Sitting quietly beside Taeyeon, she noticed that Taeyeon's hand were shaking uncontrollably. Putting hand on Taeyeon's shoulder, she asked if she was ok. Taeyeon lifted her head refusing to look at Sunny in the eyes and walked away. Just then tears started rolling down her cheeks as Taeyeon finally broke down sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. "Its all my fault. If I didn't ask her to check the contents of the orange tub she would be fine. How could I have made such a stupid decision." Taeyeon screamed as the tears just wouldn't stop falling. Raising a hand, she punched the wall repeatedly as her knuckles split open and matted the wall with her blood. Sunny ran up to stop her from further injuring herself by pulling Taeyeon in her arms. Hugging Taeyeon tightly, she prevented her from hitting the walls somemore as Taeyeon sobbed into her shoulders wetting her shirt. Tears ran down Sunny face too as she could feel Taeyeon's guilt and pain. After a long while, Taeyeon's sob slowly subsided and Sunny released her gently. Sunny sat her down on the chairs outside and raised a hand to brush away her tears. Calling a nearby nurse, Sunny asked for some antiseptic, bandages and cotton bud as she tended to Taeyeon's hands. She gently applied the antiseptic, blowing on it as Taeyeon winced from the pain. Then she gently dressed it up in bandages. She decided to hold on to Taeyeon's hand just in case she decides to injure herself again. Sunny could see that Taeyeon was very tired, so she pressed her head down onto her shoulders telling Taeyeon to get some rest. Taeyeon slowly shut her eyes listening to Sunny's reassuring voice and finally managed to get the rest she needs.

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Comments

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL