Chapter 25

Department X

Taeyeon met up with Sunny at the arranged spot after setting up the pin sized cameras Sooyoung had provided to her. She also managed to hide a device beneath the coffee table that will allow Yoona to gain remote access to all the security devices within a range of 10km. Sunny reported what she saw and they both decided to let the girl slide as she didn't seem interested in the blueprints thus she was not of interest to them.

Back at the van, Yoona was busy taking over the controls of the security cameras while Sooyoung looked through the camera feeds from the cameras Taeyeon has placed around the mansion. Jessica helped Sooyoung for awhile before she grew tired and decided to go and check on their captive. The moment she turned her back from the monitors, the girl Sunny had seen passed by one of the camera Taeyeon had placed by the door as it clearly reflects her face. Sooyoung looked at the girl for a minute and found the girl to be oddly familiar. Not recognising the girl, she decided to concentrate on the job at hand as she swapped through the different cameras that was set up. Jessica grabbed a medical kit and knelt down by the captive. Ensuring that she was still unconsicious, Jessica took off her blindfold. Taking a canister off the shelf, she held the breathing apparatus over the girl's nose and mouth ensuring that the girl breathed in the laughing gas from the canister. Satisfied that the girl will remained knocked out for at least a few hours more, she carefully checked her body and dressed the wounds that was inflicted on the girl due to the car crash.

Yuri smiled as she boarded the plane headed to home. The business trip was a wasted one because the product was too overpriced and didn't quite fit the bill. She had called back to report on her decision and was now heading back. In a few hours, she would be lying on her own bed awaiting the return of her badly missed girlfriend. Taking out the phone, she dialed the number 2 speed dial on her phone, if she couldn't get to see Jessica, hearing her voice will still help to ease her heart a little.

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Taeyeon and Sunny got back from the party and changed back into their own clothes. For hours, the 5 of them brain stormed the various possiblities on breaching this fortress. As the night fell, they finally came out with a plan that was extremely risky but feasible. Dispering, they set off in various directions to start the preparations for the breach.

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Jessica groaned as she climbed up the hill staggering under the weight of the equipments she had packed for the mission. She finally reached her destination 5 hours later as she surveyed the ground belows her. Taking out a range finder, she estimated herself to be slighly over 400 feets above her designated landing spot. She started setting up a static line as she prepared for her first base jump off the cliff that they had observed was jutting out just enough allowing her access into Isao's mansion. Jessica ensured that the weather condition was suitable as she was jumping from a really low altitude so she wouldn't have time to freefall. And not having enough means she has to ensure her chute deployed properly. Making the final checks to the equipments, Jessica took a deep breath and leapt off the cliff.

The static line grew taut, deploying the pilot chute Jessica had on. The wind billowed past her as Jessica braced herself for impact. She bent her knees as much as possible to maximise the shock absorption and rolled as she hit the ground tucking in the chute behind her. Folding up the black chute, Jessica found herself on the flat roof of the mansion. Untying a length of climbing rope, Jessica did a classic rappel as she landed on the porch of the mansion. Her part was done for now. Taking out a lock gun from her pockets, she jiggled the locks on the door that lead to the basements and silently slipped her way in to the house.

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colleenorcullo
#1
Chapter 55: SooNa is so sweet T~T
Taengoo311
#2
Chapter 68: Umm why no updates? D:
SunnyandTae
#3
Chapter 32: New reader. Love where it's going. I'm up to the Christmas special and love it. It's written so well. I can't wait to finish :)
badtestament #4
Wuuthraad : Hahaha, well. Not everything will go to their food binges. I will have a part 3 to explain what they did with the money
badtestament #5
Forever9 : Haha, *evil gleams somemore* Maybe I should tell Youngie about your suspicious love for rilakuma.. *rubs hands in glee* YAH dongsaeng, wae you no update childcare chaos... *prepares the darts you loaned me*
Wuuthraad
#6
I now feel bad for Kim Tae Woo, now that he's going to jail and all his cash is going to fund SooNa food binges XD
badtestament #7
Vedasone : Thanks for the comments. =) Really thanks.

Mashipao : I will post my reply on your wall ok?? =D Thanks for reading my fanfic and thanks even more for your detailed comments and improvement suggestions
MashiPao
#8
S: LAST COMMENT! I SWEAR! XD
While reading your story, I noticed the pros and cons of your writing. So I want to give you some advice to make your fic better and your writing overall. :P
First of all, you do research on your topics. Which is really good. it's very easy to tell that you did your research on the guns and whatnot. In fact, would you mind helping me with that kind of stuff? LOl The amount of information within your story (and the gun explanations in the sequel) clearly show the amount of research you did. Few authors do this large amount of research so kudos to you!
Next, you have AMAZING vocabulary and details. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Although, your sentences can get a bit awkward at times, it doesn't hide the fact that your details are amazing. However, I think that all the details you have are like a double-edged sword in a sense. It's really great to read a fic with such amazing detail but sometimes it gets...tedious. Your updates are rather short so all I can see is giant paragraph after paragraph. And honestly, it makes me feel like I'm reading an essay instead of a story. So I would recommend maybe taking your giant paragraphs and separating them into smaller ones. That way, it's much easier to read. Not a lot of people want to read giant blocks of text.
Also, your details and whatnot overpower your dialogue. You have more details than you have dialogue. In my opinion, dialogue is what makes a story and fleshes out the characters' personalities. So perhaps add more dialogue into your story?
You have problems writing dialogue as well which is awfully strange because I see you doing it the right way and then you mostly do it the wrong way...such as in Chapter 47. You squish all of your dialogue into one paragraph which is incorrect. (And it causes many readers to run away LOL) There must be a new paragraph every time a new person speaks.
So I'm done. Whew that took a long time to type up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and found my comments useful~
MashiPao
#9
Moving on to the next comment! LOL I don't know...I might hit a new high and have to write three comments. I still have much to say. :P Just a heads up, I read teh sequel too so I'll be squishing everything in the comments here. XD
Anyway, continuing about Tiffany. Thumbs up for continuity. I noticed you still had pink dossiers in your sequel. Hehe sorry I just like it when the author stays consistent. I always have smile on my face every time Tiffany enters the cafe: walks/runs in like a boss then glomps everyone. XD (Also yay for slight Taenyish moment in the sequel haha).
Moving on to the highlight of the story that I found the most amusing: Jessica's and Taeyeon's test to get into Department X. Haha it was great. Cucumbers and roasted cockroaches? Wow. Must've been hell. The examiners weren't very smart when they decided not to tie up Jessica's feet. XD Aso I love the background of the Cafe with No Name. I LOL'd at such the lame name and LOL'd even harder when you said "Taeyeon's creativeness". Nice Touch. :)
Moving on the main plot of the story, I must say the Department X definitely have their feet stuck in a pile of crap. Especially Sooyoung. D: It was so sad when she left. Also, I was so surprised at the end when Seohyun drugged Hyoyeon. Why SEOHYUN? WHY? T_T Honestly, I never expected Seohyun of all people. She's too nice and stuff. But you know, the nicest people are probably the most evil and sinister (Does that make me evil? LOL). Going into the sequel, I wonder if Sunny and Hyomin will really fall in love with each other especially since Hyomin is taking such good care of Sunny in the hospital...while Sunny's lover is sulking around, seeking Tiffany for refuge...Shame, Taeyeon. If Sunny caught you, she might have to request you to get into bed immediately. XD Hehe I'm an avid Taeny fan so I'm content with the Taeny development. :P But anyway, Seohyun, why are you so EVIL?! T_T Evil! D: Augghhh...Well, I'm running out of space again. LOL