Blood.

            There were so much blood and it’s hurting my eyes to see.

            I remember shouting Heechul’s name over and over. I remember Leeteuk scrambling to ask for help as Kyuhyun and Siwon knelt beside Heechul, whose eyes were closed and his beautiful face etched with pain.

            I remember the wail of the ambulance arriving and I even saw how the driver of the car just continued driving. It was like being in a world where everything is slowing down so that the details are more pronounced. I was rooted to the spot and I couldn’t move. All I did was call his name over and over again. I was half expecting he will wake up and say that he’s okay but no, that didn’t happen at all.

            I saw how the paramedics put Heechul on a stretcher and how they put a brace on his neck. I wanted to shout and ask them where they were taking him but I don’t have the energy. I felt a hand touch me and that’s when I flinched.

            “Eun Hye c’mon.” Siwon said softly. “Kaja.”

            I let him take me away. I remember riding a car where Leeteuk is driving. We followed the ambulance all the way to the hospital. I ran we them as they put Heechul in the Emergency room. I tried to get inside but Donghae and the others stopped me.

            We waited.

            I sat there for a long time.

            They asked me to eat but I won’t even talk to them.

            “Noona, you’re so pale.” Kyuhyun said frustrated. “You should eat something.”

            “It wouldn’t help if you collapse.” Donghae added.

            I ignored them because at that moment I am caught in between. It was as if my mind is floating and the scene is replaying over and over again in my mind like a broken projector.

            “Should we call a doctor for her?” Eunhyuk asked worriedly.

            “She’s in shock.” Yesung said.

            I felt Ryeowook and Kyuhyun sit beside me. They were looking at me like as if I am the one who needs medical attention. They called my name but I didn’t respond.

            “That’s it, I’m calling a doctor.” Leeteuk said finally.

            He stood up but at that moment the Emergency Room opened and we all stood up. I ran to the doctor with Leeteuk by my side.

            I didn’t dare ask but Leeteuk did it for me. “How is he?”

            “He sustained some injuries with a two broken ribs and we need to give him blood transfusions.” the doctor explained.

            “But he is okay, right?” Leeteuk pressed.

            The doctor sighed. “The good news is that he is stable right now but the bad news is…he slipped in a coma.”

            I gasped.

            “MOU?!” Leeteuk asked.

            “Doctor-nim…” Sungmin said. “What do you mean he slipped in a coma?”

            “We can’t tell for now when he will wake up.” the doctor said. “All you can do is to wait and pray. He’s been hit pretty hard.”

            The doctor bade us goodbye after telling us that Heechul will be transferred in a private room. He was allowed to be visited but a few people at a time only.

            It was like a cold fist is clutching my heart.

            “It’s my fault.” I sobbed. “My fault…”

            Leeteuk grabbed my by the arm. “Eun Hye, stop it. It’s no ones fault.”

            I continued to cry and I can’t breathe. I can feel Leeteuk’s arms around me and he hugged me like a big brother.

            “Damn, she’s hyperventilating.” Leeteuk cursed. “Maknae call a doctor.”

            “Neh, hyung.” Kyuhyun nodded.

            “I’ll go get her some water.” Kibum offered and went away.

            I remember being carried away and then I out.

            When I woke up I am in a bright room. I was in a hospital bed with a cold cloth in my forehead. I sat up and I found Ryeowook by my side.

            “Noona.” Ryeowook smiled. “You’re awake.”

            “Heechul…” I mumbled. “I need to see Heechul.”

            Ryeowook tried to put me back to bed. “Calm down, noona. Hyung is okay.”

            “I need to be by his side.” I snapped.

            Ryeowook stared at me and I realized what I just did.

            “Mianheyeo.” I cried. “I just need to see him, please.”

            “I’ll take you to him.” he said. “But calm yourself first.”

            “Arasso.” I nodded putting on my shoes. “Arasso.”

            Ryeowook led me to another room. It was only a few doors from where I have been sleeping and I saw Kibum, Donghae, Siwon and Shindong outside.

            “Eun Hye.” Shindong smiled. “Are you okay now?”

            “Neh.” I nodded.

            Ryeowook gave them a meaningful look. “She wants to see Heechul hyung.”

            “You’ll get to see him, Eun Hye.” Siwon said carefully like he was afraid I will break down.

            “I want to see him now.” I demanded.

            “There are still people inside.” Donghae said. “We need to get inside three at a time.

            I frowned. “Who’s inside?”

            “Leeteuk hyung, Kyuhyun and the president is inside.” Kibum answered.

            I tapped my foot as I waited impatiently for the people to go out. I looked away from them because they were looking at me like as if I might do something stupid. I was worried of Heechul and I can feel the impatience getting over me.

            At last the door of Heechul’s room opened and the president together with Leeteuk and Kyuhyun went out.

            “Eun Hye.” the president frowned. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

            Leeteuk addressed Ryeowook. “Why aren’t you taking care of her?”

            I cut Ryeowook off. “I asked him to bring me here. I want to see Heechul.”

            “You can see him but you have to be patient Eun Hye.” Leeteuk scolded me.

            “What about the man who’s responsible with hyung’s accident?” Donghae asked.

            “I have already filed a report and he’s being hunted down at the moment.” the president explained.

            “He needs to be put behind bars.” Kyuhyun said angrily.

            Yesung arrived with Eunhyuk, Kangin and Sungmin behind. They were all holding a plastic full of groceries.

            “Annyeong.” Eunhyuk said. “We brought some food.”

            “We bought some fruits for Heechul hyung so that he can eat it when he wakes up.” Yesung said holding out the plastic bag of fruits.

            “Can I see him now?” I asked impatiently.

            The president sighed. “Let her inside.”

            Ryeowook, Sungmin and Kyuhyun led me inside. I felt another stab of pain as I see the many wires connected to Heechul. There were big monitors by his side and I couldn’t fathom how they can put those things on him.

            I ran to his side as Kyuhyun started putting the bowl of fruits in the table. Heechul have patches of gauze in his arms but still his beautiful face shine on me. I prevented myself to cry because I need to be strong for him I know he will wake up; he promised not to leave me.

            I fixed his blanket so that he will be warm and I just sat there holding his hand. I never paid much attention to the people around me but Sungmin tapped me in the shoulder.

            “Eun Hye.” Sungmin smiled. “Why don’t you eat first?”

            “Aniyo, I’m not hungry.” I said shaking my head but the truth is my stomach is starting to hurt.

            “Noona, you’re so pale.” Kyuhyun said. “You need to eat something.”

            I frowned. “I am not leaving Heechul’s side.”

            “Yah~” Kyuhyun said impatiently. “Noona, don’t be so stubborn.”

            Ryeowook waved Kyuhyun off and talked to me more gently. “You don’t have to leave Heechul hyung’s side.”

            “Neh.” Sungmin nodded. “You can eat here.”

            I looked at them and felt guilty because I have been very uncooperative when they only wanted what’s best for me.

            “Arasso.” I nodded finally.

            Kyuhyun made sure that I will eat a complete meal because when he gave me my plate, it was overflowing with food. I know he’s annoyed because of my behavior but I know he only wants me to feel okay so I gave him a smile and showed him that I will eat all that he gave me.

            That night, on Heechul’s first stay at the hospital, I prayed. I prayed for him to be okay. I wished that tomorrow I will see him okay and smiling like as if this is all just a bad dream. I held his hand and sleep by his side, never leaving.

            Never.